• Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 7th, 2021

Comet Flame


E

Twilight Sparkle, being the dutiful student she is, has been so occupied with her studies throughout her life that she never noticed all the pranks going around on April 1st. But now, with actual friends, and a town full of scaredy cats, that is about to change.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 7 )

A nice story. A few suggestions, however.
Make a new paragraph everytime someone new speaks, as well as identify the speaker somehow. It makes it much easier to read.
Also, there are a couple of places where you used the wrong word, generally a homonym.

I like it, but I agree with Tatsurou. add a new paragraph when theres a new speaker. Having characters speak in the same paragraph kind of makes it feel jumbled and a little confusing.

Symbols are not cymbals, and minuets can last for much longer than a minute.

Random misspellings aside, it was pretty interesting.

Thanks for all the tips. It's my first fanfic and also the first time with character development and that kind of stuff, so I'm glad you all like it so far. :twilightsmile:

Rainbow Dash, having finished weather duty early, was the first to arrive.

At that precise moment, my "interactive" Rainbow Dash flew onscreen.:rainbowlaugh:

Finally found this story again in time for the actual April Foal's Day.:pinkiehappy:


2014910 "I-" "must." <-- that is so awkward.
"Lyra, MY Lyra, would never pass up an opportunity like that to make a joke about not having hands!" <-- say what?
"But what I don't know is how did Trixie know?" <-- 'knew' is the past tense of 'know'.
Hilarious other than that, so thumbs up.

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