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Being the captain of Equestria's most renowned aerobatics team is a stressful, and sometimes thankless, job. Her joints ache; her muscles are taut; her mind reels from the sheer responsibility. But, like any professional, Spitfire takes it all in stride with a grin.

That is, until a certain rainbow-maned mare started mouthing off. Being accused of 'Camera Hogging' was the final straw. Spitfire finally lost her temper, dumping every ounce of that responsibility on an unwitting rookie and leaving for a single day of respite.

This story details her day of (mostly) relaxation.

(A/N: Spitfire's Day Off is a side-story to Blitz, taking place parallel to "A Very Long Day" chapter arc.)

(I was unable to locate the source of the cover image to give proper credits. Needless to say, it's not mine.)

Edit 03/07/2012: Changed format from triple-asterisk to Horizontal Rule and Sub-Chapter number. Looks much better, in my own opinion.

First Published
5th Feb 2012
Last Modified
5th Feb 2012
#1 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

Well this one was certainly a bigger project than I anticipated. I held off Blitz for two weeks to write this properly, but it was a necessary tale. I just hope it's as enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write.

Starfire seems like a fun character. I may have to write about him. An earlier generation of the Wonderbolts!

Thanks to Lithe (Yes that Lithe) for giving me the name 'Trot le Monde'! You're the best, bro. Congrats on the 500k (500,000!) view count. You've earned it :heart:.

Edit: Goddamn! Seems like the two weeks to write was definitely worth it! I can't believe how well received Spitty's been. And Trackers, Favorites, and even Watchers are still pouring in! And I've been the Featured box all damn day! Not to mention Blitz is getting a lot of love now, too :heart:. Y'all are the best, I love each and every one of you :heart:

Next stop... Equestria Daily.

Edit 2: I... I did it. Spitfire's Day Off is on Equestria Daily.

#2 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

Very nicely done. 5/5:twilightsmile:

#3 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

THIS IS NICE!!!

#4 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

"Oh, sorry," more laughs were held back as Spitfire's cheeks began to glow with a crimson shade, "I'm, um, just really excited is all."

Sorry needs to be followed by a period.

"Well then..." The elder finished her job, nudging the bouquet across the counter. "Take them. Courtesy of me."

Why? That's, uh, kinda weird. Don't get me wrong; I love free things. However, a florist giving flowers away to a customer she probably doesn't know at all is a bit odd. Maybe if Spitfire were a regular, it would be more believable.

"I had a rookie backtalk me this morning." She would often tell her grandfather about how Captaincy was faring.

Most people can infer that.

"...Her name is Rainbow Dash, and she's as feisty as I ever was." ¶ "I'm sorry, grandpa..."

Why is the paragraph break there? It's not like the two sentences aren't connected. If there's a space between them, just say Spitfire mulled over the whole ordeal or something. It makes much more sense and is less distracting.

With a loud 'whoop!', she flew straight for her temporary home with a renewed vigor she'd not felt in years, ready to tackle tomorrow.

To agree with past tense, replace 'tomorrow' with 'the next day' or something similar.


Overall, there are a couple things I must say, and the first isn't too important. First: During some parts, you are telling where you should be showing. Granted, during those parts, it doesn't really matter. It's more of a stylistic choice, anyway. Second: The sauna scene felt a bit rushed. If it's supposed to be slow, make it slow.

Your pacing is wonderful, your characters are believable, and the entire thing is great. Loving it. 4.25/5, fav'd.

#5 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

>>189851

"Oh, sorry," more laughs were held back as Spitfire's cheeks began to glow with a crimson shade, "I'm, um, just really excited is all."

Sorry needs to be followed by a period.

~ Fixed. Thanks!

"Well then..." The elder finished her job, nudging the bouquet across the counter. "Take them. Courtesy of me."

Why? That's, uh, kinda weird. Don't get me wrong; I love free things. However, a florist giving flowers away to a customer she probably doesn't know at all is a bit odd. Maybe if Spitfire were a regular, it would be more believable.

~ Gave a reason for the flowers to be just given away.

"I had a rookie backtalk me this morning." She would often tell her grandfather about how Captaincy was faring.

Most people can infer that.

~ Deleted the descriptor

"...Her name is Rainbow Dash, and she's as feisty as I ever was." ¶ "I'm sorry, grandpa..."

Why is the paragraph break there? It's not like the two sentences aren't connected. If there's a space between them, just say Spitfire mulled over the whole ordeal or something. It makes much more sense and is less distracting.

~Added a descriptor to provide a reason for the paragraph break.

With a loud 'whoop!', she flew straight for her temporary home with a renewed vigor she'd not felt in years, ready to tackle tomorrow.

To agree with past tense, replace 'tomorrow' with 'the next day' or something similar.

~ Fixed, thanks! Didn't notice that.

Overall, there are a couple things I must say, and the first isn't too important. First: During some parts, you are telling where you should be showing. Granted, during those parts, it doesn't really matter. It's more of a stylistic choice, anyway. Second: The sauna scene felt a bit rushed. If it's supposed to be slow, make it slow.

~ Added more to the sauna scene, hope it looks better.

Your pacing is wonderful, your characters are believable, and the entire thing is great. Loving it. 4.25/5, fav'd.

~ Thanks! Your review was greatly appreciated.

#6 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

:heart: Simply divine.

#7 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

I really enjoyed the story ^^ :heart:

#8 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

Of course we all knew he was already dead.  Such a sickening sadness.  Plz keep writing.  Have my 5.

#9 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

i enjoyed greatly

kthanxbai

#10 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

AND THEN THEY ALL DIED. :flutterrage:

But srs this was sexii

#11 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

FOLLOWED FOU!

AWW YEA THIS WAS EPIC

#12 · 149w, 6d ago · · ·

Rather nice, I must say.

#13 · 149w, 5d ago · · ·

Assuming it's not intentional, there was one thing I can understand being missed (Français is not easy to comprehend at times): 'masseuse' is feminine.  A male massage artist is a masseur.

#14 · 149w, 5d ago · · ·

>>192449

I... did not know that <.< I thought the term was broad. Fixed! Thanks :pinkiehappy:

#15 · 149w, 5d ago · · ·

awsome

#16 · 149w, 5d ago · · ·

>>193081, I agree. Awesome!

#17 · 149w, 5d ago · · ·

Not bad sir, not bad at all.

#18 · 149w, 5d ago · · ·

Well-written and creative.  As relaxing as a massage at the spa.

Great job!

#19 · 149w, 5d ago · · ·

A simple yet remarkably well written story :twilightsmile:

Good job ^^

#20 · 149w, 4d ago · · ·

Congrats on the EqD feature! This story is absolutely lovely, and quite a refreshing change from all the grim or sad fics out there. I may have to record a narration for this!

Your writing style is awesome. Very easy to read, with wonderful descriptions-- especially the description of Trot le Monde. I loved how the backstory was told throughout the entire piece, rather than happening right at the beginning. Very well crafted.

Kudos on an excellent story! ^.^ Now here's a quick edit note:

"Every muscled moaned its individual gratitude at being relaxed." --> Should probably be "Every muscle..." Though this particular sentence was rather confusing in general.

#21 · 149w, 3d ago · · ·

>>198376

Congrats yourself on finding a typo that the EqD Prereaders didn't :rainbowwild: Changed around the sentence as well - I agree that it was awkward.

A recording? I'm... I'm humbled :twilightblush:.

#22 · 149w, 3d ago · · ·

>>198565

Oh, I'm quite good at finding things like that. ^.^ I'll send you a message when I do the narration, and let you know if I notice anything else during my read-through. :scootangel:

#23 · 149w, 3d ago · · ·

Well, that was nice little slice of life fic. It's always kinda nice to delve into the backstories of the characters, even the more minor characters like Spitfire. Think the parts with the grandpa were certainly my favorites for the fic.

I'm a bit more iffy on the whole spa scene... some parts (such as the mud bath) seemed well-utilized while other parts of it just seemed to be excess filler thrown in because the receptionist made you. I dunno. Bits of it just seemed rushed.

I think, overall, you did pretty well with setting up and with some of the emotion here, but some bits of the dialogue just sounded a bit off.

Still have a the odd typo and grammar issue, but it seemed to be above average mechanically.

Nice fic, Arti.

#24 · 149w, 21h ago · · ·

Quite nice!  I enjoyed it. :)   ~4/5

#25 · 149w, 8h ago · · ·

>>208345

I curse your avatar for being one of the cutest images I've ever seen. It makes me want to huggle Rose :pinkiegasp:

My buddy Lithe is writing a Roseluck/Braeburn shipfic titled "Desert Rose." Though only the prologue is done for now as he finishes up Two's Company, Three's a Crowd.

Anytime! In the meanwhile... *Stares at Roseluck avatar; urge to huggle rising.*

(Edited to keep self-comments low)

#26 · 149w, 7h ago · · ·

>>209474 Which is why I use it. :D

Not enough love for Roseluck out there.

#27 · 149w, 7h ago · · ·

>>209474 I'll have to keep an eye out for that.  Thanks.

#28 · 149w, 13m ago · · ·

"Her fiery mane whipped back and forth"

Now I'm thinking of that song. :facehoof:

#29 · 147w, 5d ago · · ·

:ajsmug: What a coincidence, Artimae, that I would be linked to this story immediately after seeing you in the chat, eh? :ajsmug:

This was a great way to start my day. I'm going to go blow up hordes of men on Team Fortress 2 and graffiti their forts with my Playbrony posters. :rainbowkiss:

#30 · 143w, 2d ago · · ·

>>209532 Personally, I LOVE Roseluck! ^w^

and to the author of the above FIMfic, thank you for writing this LOVELY piece of work! Spitfire happens to be in my top 5 favorite ponies.

#32 · 134w, 6d ago · · ·

A wonderful story indeed. :ajsmug:

#33 · 94w, 5d ago · · ·

I thought that this story was very well made.  I would honestly love to see a kind of sequel to this.  I feel that it would be very interesting.

#34 · 90w, 1d ago · · ·

Nice Job Arti xD

#35 · 77w, 1d ago · · ·

And now, introducing the worst Spitfire picture I have ever had the displeasure of seeing... because it's just </3 (for me)

yes, yes that is Spitfire with an eyepatch.

#36 · 70w, 11h ago · · ·

last part was touching :raritycry: 5/5

#37 · 2w, 4h ago · · ·

Some time ago I thought to myself: How about writing a story about Spitfire buying ice cream? Brilliant! I'm going to call it "Spitfire's Day Off". While I didn't get to writing the thing in the end, the obligatory sweep around FiMFiction revealed yours "Spitfire's Day Off" (of which I've never heard before). I just want to tell you that I read it and enjoyed it! Especially that whole Granpa-being-my-inspiration thing. Pretty nice touch. :twilightsmile:

#38 · 2w, 3h ago · · ·

>>5352522 Please tell me you're still going to write it. I must read about her eating ice cream. I suspect her favorite flavour is orange sherbert.

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