Scootaloo was an outcast as a filly. Scarred for life when she was young, not many stood by her anymore, except Pinkamena. But now... After years of the pink mare's training, Scoots has to face a terrible truth and fight for her love
Chapters (5)
Shadow Wind
Joined 21st Dec, 2012 ·
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Alrighty then!
The concept alone is a very good hook and I look forward to seeing more the story arc. I also applaud the efforts of making Pinkie a more logical killer than a psychotic one.
The only issue is flow; being that some scenes are more hard cut than gentle transitions. it's not a difficult read by any means but lacks the cherry to the proverbial sundae but I love it all the same!
1979404 You are right on that, This was hurried. But i shall improve.
I smell potential. Go on...
continue,
wait.... Scoots has a blood red ey- OH MY CELESTIA! PINKAMENA KILLED VINYL SCRATCH!
2101189
Scootaloo just talked with Vinyl, and she seemed very much alive.
more please, this is good.
2101780 Ohhh ok. I got confused. I thought she was still dreaming. Scootaloo sounded REALLY scared when she saw Vinyl had the exact same color of eyes that her donated one is. That's why I thought Pinkamena killed Vinyl.
Why would I kill Vinyl? So I could make some delicious vanilla cupcakes with chocolate sprinkles and purple candies for shades........ I'll be right back.
*walks away with an ominous looking knife*
Ok! bye Pinkamena!. Anyways, I guess I didn't pay attention to what I was reading. Also, this Scootaloo seems to be the opposite Scootaloo from the Pinkamena Diane Pie tumblr blog. That Scootaloo loves killing. Maybe you could tie in something from Scoots past that made her not love killing anymore?
2102765 Hmm.. I won't say anything. Don't wanna risk spoilers!
2103781 Okie Dokie Lokie! Want a cupcake? Pinkamena just made them. *offers a Vinyl Scratch cupcake* You can really taste the wubs.
This is interesting i wonder what direction this will go? who will scoots be shipped with? hence the romance tag.
and please don't let Dash's killer be pinks you have no idea how many times the whole scootaloo finds out pinkamena killed Dashie so she gets revenge fics are written. i would like there to be a twist where some one else has done it so she picks up on pinkamena's training to track down the killer.
2190068 That's actually a good suggestion. So now I will incorporate twists and turns that make you think "What the hell?" MUAHAHAHAHA!
2194015
Yes the killer will be someone we least expect now that would be awesome!
So pinkamena did kill dash. aww man i thought this would be different and unique from your typical pinkamena is dashie's killer trope.
2607597 Oi. Things are still unclear. Remember, it is a memory fragment. Anything could happen.
Plus I make this up as I go along.
That's my girl.
A very good idea and to TwiPieDash the only reason there are so many pinkie is the murderer stories is because that was what the cupcakes story was and it's impossible well actually 99.7 % impossible to make one with someone else the killer because pinkie is psycho enough. bak to the author keep up teh good work
3142924 Well you see, my good reader, is I tend to make things up as i go along. I haven'd decided how I will make this end, who is the killer and such. Why? Because I like that shit.
5311734
Because grimdark is where I roam and its all just a coincidence that you happen to be at the same story as i XD.
5311732 Thanks for the offer but I'm happily taken
Welcome back :)