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The 24th Pegasus

Joined September 2012
189 followers

Writer of the Commander Hurricane trilogy (A Song of Storms), co-founder of the Price of Loyalty universe, and featured twice on Equestria Daily.

Sequels

  • A Song of Storms: Summer Lands
    The problems between the three tribes didn't end with the founding of Equestria. As the nation faces race riots, assassinations, and the threat of a civil war, it will take everything Commander Hurricane has just to see it survive the years.

    101,325 words · 587 views · 101 likes · 2 dislikes

Stories (5)

  • A Song of Storms: Of Skies Long Forgotten
    The pegasi that founded Equestria have a dark past, a past Commander Hurricane played a key role in.

    106,447 words · 3,755 views · 258 likes · 6 dislikes
  • A Song of Storms: Snow and Shadows
    With the onset of the windigo curse, Commander Hurricane and the other tribal leaders leave in search of new lands. They aren't the only ones to face challenges, as the tribes inch closer and closer to ripping each other apart with each day.
    230,464 words · 1,571 views · 195 likes · 4 dislikes
  • A Song of Storms: Summer Lands
    The problems between the three tribes didn't end with the founding of Equestria. As the nation faces race riots, assassinations, and the threat of a civil war, it will take everything Commander Hurricane has just to see it survive the years.
    101,325 words · 587 views · 101 likes · 2 dislikes
  • A Rainbow of a Different Color
    When Rainbow Dash wakes up in a strange land with no memory of who she is or how she got there, it's up to her and some new friends to try and uncover her past, and find out just what exactly she was running from.
    59,755 words · 1,178 views · 122 likes · 4 dislikes
  • The Life I Chose
    4,536 words · 219 views · 21 likes · 0 dislikes
Source

This story is a sequel to A Song of Storms: Of Skies Long Forgotten

It has been twenty years since the fall of the Cirran Empire, and Commander Hurricane has led the pegasus pony tribe into a comfortable role in accordance with the Tri-Pony Compact. But a supernatural blizzard without end brings forth the suppressed hatreds that have festered among the three tribes, and the resulting famine threatens to eradicate all; earth pony, unicorn, and pegasus alike. With a bloody war looming on the horizon and the fate of their ponies at stake, the three tribes must find a way to survive together, or they will assuredly die alone.

Sequel to "Of Skies Long Forgotten." Reading of that story is not absolutely necessary to understand what is going on, but it is strongly recommended for you to understand the references.

Officially part of "The Price of Loyalty" storyverse, in collaboration with LoyalLiar

Editing by LoyalLiar and Ruirik

Cover art provided by SovietDash

First Published
12th Jan 2013
Last Modified
12th Jan 2014

Comments ( 274 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 79w, 3d ago · · ·

Here we are! The sequel is finally here, and with it we get a look back at Hearth's Warming. What really happened during that terrible blizzard? Well, if you read on, you'll find out! I hope to get chapters out at a regular pace, at least one per week, but please don't kill me if I can't.

With the release of the story we also have some big news as well. Fellow author LoyalLiar, writer of the "Where Loyalties Lie" stories, has teamed up with me to create a single universe for our stories -- a "storyverse" I suppose you would call it. This effort of loose collaboration will lead to neat little tie-ins and references between our stories so that we can expand off of each other. For those of you who worry about how this might tangle the plot of your favorite stories, keep this in mind; LoyalLiar is continuing to write his stories as he planned, and I'm continuing to write mine as planned. The only difference is that we generate material for each other to use in our stories and we keep our works framed within the same set of events and times. I'll make a blog post describing it more.

Anyways, PLEASE comment, rate, and favorite if you enjoy the story. I would love to hear your feedback on my work, and what you think of this storyverse collab. Also, make sure to join "The Price of Loyalty" group to keep up with both of our stories.

Thanks for your time and views!

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#2 · Chapter 2 · 79w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

Yay, finally here, time to start reading. I'll edit this comment later with comments on the first two chapters. :twilightsmile:

Okay, just read the first two chapters, and I surely approve of them. First off; the thought of two of my favourite verse's being put together is great, it makes it a lot easier for myself (and others) to remember what (for example) the different forms of magic of the different races are called. I also look forward to picking the stories apart looking for references between them.

I must also say I love your portrayal of Star Swirl and Princess Plast-ahem, Platinum, Star Swirl is probably one of my absolute favourite characters, and its unfortunate he is barely ever noticed at all, even in the Canon (A few passing mentions the only evidence he existed at all).

Wondering what has happened to the rest of Hurricane's family, and you have made me really curious about King Lapis, so I look forward to reading about all of them.

#3 · Chapter 2 · 79w, 2d ago · · ·

He didn’t notice the first flakes of summertime snow beginning to fall.

You have no idea how much that confused me for a moment.

I'm so tired.

#4 · Chapter 3 · 78w, 5d ago · · ·

Earlier than I originally intended on releasing this chapter, but I can't imagine who would complain about that. As always, please comment and tell me what you think, and if you enjoy the story, then hit that favorite button and the thumbs up. 'Twould be much appreciated.

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#5 · Chapter 3 · 78w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

You've got me; the intrigue is killing me, and I want to know what's going on.  You're right when you say no one would complain; you clearly need to increase your update schedule.

“Cyclone would have lit them on fire.”

Despite how terrible this probably sounds, I had to stop reading so I could catch my breath after laughing.

Not make fics make me yell out loud, but I think my roommate was confused by an out-of-context "YES!", so you have that going for you too.

Of course, you probably already knew my opinion.

-Loyal Liar

#6 · Chapter 3 · 78w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1971973

Glad that you enjoyed it. I got a laugh myself when I came up with that line.

Increase my update schedule? Would that I could, right now I'm averaging four days per chapter! :raritydespair: At least I take pride in knowing that I'll never let myself fall off the grid and not update for an entire month. Chapter 3, being a transition chapter, will be a little more difficult to eke out a suitable word count, but I imagine I'll have it done in short time as well (one of the benefits of having only two midterms :rainbowwild: )

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#7 · Chapter 3 · 78w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1972023

Four days per chapter is an excellent rate; I'm just teasing of course, as well as alluding to my all-consuming desire for more.

-LL

#8 · Chapter 3 · 78w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1972042

As much as I eagerly await the next installment of your own story

#9 · Chapter 3 · 78w, 5d ago · · ·

Oh skysteel, where were you when the Gryphons were burning Nimbus?

I like how you insert RD and Twi into the story, it adds a layer of history to it all, but 8,000 years? That's a lot.

#10 · Chapter 4 · 78w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

And this my friends is when the excrement meets the ventilation unit.  :pinkiecrazy:

#11 · Chapter 4 · 78w, 1d ago · · ·

I wonder what the Zebras were doing in this time period.  Heh.

Loved the chapter. :pinkiehappy:

#12 · Chapter 4 · 78w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

>>1997622

Another story for another time, I'm afraid, but still glad to hear that you liked it :twilightsmile:

#13 · Chapter 1 · 77w, 4d ago · · ·

How rhe hell did I not know this was published?!

Definately wasn't expecting the story to start in the present. And Commander Typhoon... :duck: Wait. Wait a minute...

:applejackunsure::trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::pinkiegasp::pinkiesmile::pinkiehappy: Its- no, I know who he is, but I won't spoils it for anyone else. :twilightsmile:

#14 · Chapter 3 · 77w, 3d ago · · ·

I knew Typhoon was Hurricane's kid (:trixieshiftright: well it was obvious) Shush Trixie. Didn't think it'd be a filly, or his second kid for that matter.

Gotta say, loving the story so far. Everything's building up perfectly. :twilightsmile:

#15 · Chapter 4 · 76w, 6d ago · · ·

Huh, I almost expected Clover the clever to be the unicorn diplomat. Things are starting to get interesting. :twilightsmile:

#16 · Chapter 4 · 76w, 4d ago · · ·

Alright, all caught up.

I like how this is going so far. And I really like the bits with Rainbow and Twilight at the beginning of each chapter. A nice little way of tying the past and the present.

I eagerly await the next chapter.:twilightsmile:

#17 · Chapter 5 · 76w, 3d ago · · ·

Another fantastic chapter.  This Blue Coat unicorn guy is interesting, I'm eager to see what he's up too.

#18 · Chapter 5 · 76w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Then Typhoon and Cyclone walk out of the rumble saying:  "Don't look at us, it was burning when we got here."

Edit:  Poor Smart Cookie, he tries his damnest.

#19 · Chapter 5 · 76w, 2d ago · · ·

It's interesting that even trying to get an unbiased account, there's still just a smidgen of pegasus bias in Hurricane's recollection of events.  That it's the other races that won't work together, etc.

#20 · Chapter 5 · 76w, 2d ago · · ·

:rainbowhuh: Something about Cyclone's sword missing its mark doesn't sit well with me. I'm gonna keep my eye on him.

#21 · Chapter 5 · 76w, 1d ago · · ·

I love this! Definitely as good, if not better, than your preceding story. Keep up the good work (if you'll pardon so trite a phrase).

#22 · Chapter 3 · 76w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1972159

very long by comparison at 6000 BC the first cities in Mesopotamia where being made out of bricks. The fact that ponies had a complex socio-ecomonic and political system and had developed metal working to an extent humans didn't master for another 2000 just makes me wonder why rainbow and twilight weren't exploring by remote controlled robot.

#23 · Chapter 5 · 76w, 21h ago · · ·

>>2073218

I'm guessing because Magic and Celestia/Luna, but who knows? Most fantasy worlds seem locked in the medieval period for thousands of years.

#24 · Chapter 6 · 74w, 6d ago · · ·

interesting take, but I figured you would have explained why he chose to take Pan Sea with him in this chapter

(I like what you did with the unicorn royalty, it fits a lot better than cannon)

#25 · Chapter 6 · 74w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2113115

Pan Sea fits in later, but Hurricane pointedly didn't take him along, or at least didn't plan on it. Don't worry, you'll see him in the next chapter.

#26 · Chapter 6 · 74w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Many believed the Scourge to be a curse placed upon the royal family, likely the doing of King Electrum when he looked into the future and saw things that should never had been known to him or the Kingdom until their appropriate time.

You are an actual wizard, you know?  It's one thing for us to discuss things, and quite another for you to read my mind...

Anyway, yeah, fantastic chapter.  Lapis was awesome, Star Swirl was as classy as can possibly be, but I think my favorite part was this line:

Its gaze was fixed far to the east, in the direction of skies long lost, but not yet forgotten.

Keep up the good work.

-LL

#27 · Chapter 6 · 74w, 6d ago · · ·

Good to see Silver Sword remembered with the highest respect.

:rainbowlaugh: You kept Puddinghead almost entirely canon. Love it.

#28 · Chapter 6 · 74w, 3d ago · · ·

That part with the statue of Silver Sword...So many feels...

#29 · Chapter 7 · 74w, 2d ago · · ·

*refreshes updated chapter list*

...well, would ya lookit that.  Time for more reading.

[Fantastic chapter as usual, and now we get a Pansy to tag along. :pinkiehappy:]

#30 · Chapter 7 · 74w, 1d ago · · ·

I was wondering how Pan Sea would catch up.

:rainbowhuh: Where'd he find that axe... and what would a Legion axe be doing in the middle of nowhere...

CONSPIRACY! :pinkiegasp:

#31 · Chapter 7 · 74w, 1d ago · 1 · 1 ·

This is like the fellowship of the ring.

All three groups are looking for better land (going to mordor.)

all on a mission to save the world(their people)

Earth ponies = hobbits

pegasi = men and dwarves

unicorns = elf and Gandalf (but only clover is worth of the cool factor of those two but the parallel remains)

the only difference is that they all hate each other that only at the end will they unite instead of splitting up.

#32 · Chapter 8 · 73w, 2d ago · · ·

Music worked well for me.  Definitely a nice touch.  As usual, excellent work.

#33 · Chapter 8 · 73w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

I definitely didn't miss the similarities between Cyclone and Halite. That's not very comforting...

Anyway, another awesome chapter! Really liked the new music system and the continued world-building.

Looking forward to more! :yay:

#34 · Chapter 8 · 73w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Wow, lots happening in this chapter.

Hurricane barely avoids death, Clover and Platnium get into trouble... and, I hope I'm wrong about this, but I suspect that Cyclone might grow a red tail in the future if you know what I mean. It doesn't look like it now, but I'm getting a bad feeling about how zealous Cyclone is about the Blue coats.

Can't wait to see more. :twilightsmile:

#35 · Chapter 8 · 73w, 2d ago · · ·

I like the music links, but to be perfectly honest, in my head, every scene with Commander Hurricane has "These Colours Don't Run" by Iron Maiden playing in the background. Even the sentimental scenes with his family. All of them.

#36 · Chapter 8 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·

I like music links. The downside, though, is that I can't enjoy them when reading the story on mobile. I can't actively run youtube and my mobile browser at the same time.

#37 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 2d ago · · ·

huh,I wonder how you are going to work in the Crystal Alicorn; and the plot thickens in the present

#38 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 2d ago · · ·

Had to read the whole first part with google translate to make sense of the conversation. Not the most conveniant experiance, but at least I managed to understand what they were talking about- Seems like trouble is also coming after Twilight and Rainbow, not just the ponies of the past, that'll be fun to see what you and Loyal do with trouble in that area.

The music this chapter was brilliantly fitting for the most part (I approve with your choice :pinkiesmile: ) and is a nice little thing that goes well with the tone.

Also, seems like everyone is going towards the same general location now, and OMG CRYSTAL PRINCESS ALICORN :raritystarry:! Can't wait to see where that one goes.

#39 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

Не стреляйте, я тайну знаю

Мой сторон!  

>>2207858

The thing both here and in my similar segments is that in some sense, you aren't supposed to understand the dialogue.  You can translate it if you want, of course, but I would encourage people to read through without bothering, to stay in the say mindset Twilight has where the line quoted above doesn't make any sense, and she's only pulling random words out of the dialogue between Governor Serp (or as we call him, Grand Moff Serp), and Safe Haven.  That way, when you hit the "Oh shit, they're trying to murder one another!" segment, you maintain the same emotional state that Twilight has.

Alternately, you can go through a few hard ciders before reading like I did, and then be in the same state as Rainbow Dash. :rainbowwild:

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm sorry about using a cocktail napkin, but I didn't want to tear any of the pages out of Commander Hurricane's journal.

Today, I learned that Fluttershy may have been justified in being paranoid about your reaction to her 'birdnapping' of Philomena.  It turns out that not all the guardsponies in Equestria are quite as nice as my brother's troops.  Sometimes, these guardsponies are very nice, giving out free drinks and making new friends all over town.  Other times, not so much.

On a completely unrelated topic, if you could have Spike send me A Beginner's Guide to Running from the KGB and In Stalliongrad, Big Brother is Watching You?  I'd really appreciate some reference material.  For a study I'm doing.  That in now way reflects my current situation.

Your faithful student who still definitely does not have a criminal record,

-Twilight Sparkle.

P.S. Sorry about the... lipstick there.  I'm not really sure what it says, but you can just ignore it.

13 шарф улице

Хорошо провести время

  

#40 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 1d ago · · ·

>>2208522

Brilliant, I'm going to find some way to work that into my next RD/Twi segment. It will be beautiful :raritystarry:

Не стреляйте, я тайну знаю

Мой сторон!  

Thank my AP Chemistry teacher for that one. That's about the only Russian he remembers from college -- that and 'Не спать, пить кофе.' Still, the guy knows Gaelic and forged a goddamn sword out of a hand-built forge he made in his backyard, so he's pretty awesome.

#41 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 1d ago · · ·

>>2209145

For those Breaking Bad fans out there, the aforementioned Chemistry teacher is the closest you'll get to Walter White.

#42 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 1d ago · · ·

And now we are introduced to the Unionists. I was also wondering if Twilight and Rainbow would see any action. Keep it coming. :twilightsmile:

#43 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 1d ago · · ·

>>2209975

I was wondering if anyone was going to catch on. You win the prize for at least being the first to vocalize it.

#44 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 1d ago · · ·

>>2210188 :pinkiegasp: I get a prize? :yay:

#45 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 1d ago · · ·

Somehow, I never expected that Twi and Rainbow would actually be in harms way... the book, or the events therein, must have something to do with it. But what? Also, I wonder if rainbow will attempt to learn how to use Empatha, now that she is both aware of its more active uses and knows that she may soon need it to defend herself and Twilight.

#46 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 1d ago · · ·

If the black coats were all pegasi, does that mean they could be remnants of the legion that was not willing to unify or possibly survivors of Streak Wing's group upon his eventual death?

#47 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 1d ago · · ·

>>2211312

Not here, but here. The events in the present timeline of Snow and Shadows predate Where Loyalties Lie by several months, and Rainbow doesn't really learn how to use Empatha until that story.

>>2211814

Black Cloaks aren't entirely pegasi, that just happened to be the group that their leader, Serp, brought with him for that little investigation-turned-revolution. Without saying too much, however, most pegasi in the Domain of Stalliongrad are descended from remnants of Cirra that didn't make the trip to the new Equestrian lands.

#48 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

>>2210411

Not really much of a prize, unless I happen to find a need for a unicorn OC in a later chapter and decide I am too lazy to make one and instead decide to select one from a random follower who's provided his thoughts on all my work to date... hm....

#49 · Chapter 9 · 72w, 5h ago · 2 · ·

>>2212296

I know it's only a suggestion, but this is my response.

#50 · Chapter 9 · 71w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2207687

An ancestor of Cadence? That's my guess at least.

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