motser
Joined 16th Feb, 2012 ·
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I've always felt that between Rarity's creative mind, and Spikes being a dragon these two could get into some pretty interesting role-playing. I've mark this story complete, but I might write a few extra chapters for this later, I haven't decided yet.
Okay now that I read this it does seem decent enough, but it needs some work. There are some grammar and capitalization errors such as
Or
Lady Rarity works better.
May want to change it to you're,
You may want to lowercase awoke. Also, when a character is in thought, there's no need for the apostrophe. Instead of
Make it
Oh, Rarity mentally chided herself, Darling your eyes are still closed.
It looks pretty good and you do a nice job going into detail about the clop scenes. It just needs some grammar, punctuation, and capitalization cleanup. It's a pretty nice story for a Sparity clopfic. And to be honest, I would love to see this Dragon Tamer role play as a potential next chapter. Just take into consideration as to what I said. You have potential for this story, it just needs some cleaning up.
1948419 MORE? I was dissapointed when i saw it was complete, now i can die happy
Into the Lair of the Dragon Prince. Titles are always capitalized like so. I'll check this out tonight, but, if I were you, I'd look into someone doing some fast proofreading for errors.
In-freaking-credable!! I was literally caught off gaurd that it was role-play very well done with minimal errors. I do hope you make more chapters.
I think you should write more in this story it was great.Ps if you do they should all be role play
Very nice. I think you should continue their roleplaying into more chapters.
damn just damn dudes groins are going to hurt in the morning seriusly i can only go four rounds before my junk starts to hurts and i dont even do all that roleplaying stuff.................
atleast not that often kikikikikikiki then again he is a dragon and im just insane.
I've been stewing over a couple of ideas that are insanely similar to this.
It seems you crossed the finish line before I did though. Very good story you have here, like others I was actually caught well off guard by the sudden RP.
All in all, excellent work.
-Sturrn
Nice idea for a one shot, I cannot wait to see whether or not there is more coming in the future.
minor errors but satisfying none the less.
Nice work. The overall tone for the story is fantastic, and you did a excellent job with descriptions. Two main things are hurting you, though. The first is errors, there's a few really strange ones that make the reader stop and go... what?, and the second is, the actual sex scene could use some length. Being from Rarity's perspective some discomfort or pain should be mentioned with the anal sex part, and you only mentioned him cumming in her womb, not her ass. Double stuffed means double creamed, after all.
1948487 Thanks for the advice
, and dragon tamer might not mean what you think it means.
1951038 Thanks for the catch.
1949914 Dragons have a lot of stamina.
1948795 that was the plan.
1951725 I take it Rarity is the dominant one in that foreplay?
noticed a few errors, but great clop overall
1951766 no actually, dragon is an adjective, and tamer is a title. So it's Spike: dragon, tamer.
1953332 Ah so he's the dominant one. This should be good then.
i found a way to have nice dreams!
>read hot clopfic
>get to sleep
>all night long dream about various sex.
so much win
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lee1wqUwE01qfu4tho1_500.png
My Ultimate Reaction
Meh, I knew it was a role-play from miles away
As others have said: the story is plagued by many little errors, which could have been avoided by simply rereading it carefully. Overall, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't great too.
Nevertheless, I'm going to give it a like.
I lost it so hard there
1965951
I always thought she would be sensitive to a pork chop
Wonder what Twilight would say to this?
Twilight: dragon slayer
That is all
A cute idea, but the spelling and grammar errors are a bit glaring and off-putting.
lolz i like that most of us sparity lovers think they'd be the roll playing couple lolz but RARITY IS BEST PONY!!!!!!
1953332 how would that work wtf dragon tamer so who's taming the dragon when spike can't tame himself
2087728 there is a comma there the two words are separate ideas. They both refer to Spike who is a dragon, and the tamer.
Honestly, I expected it was some kinky role-playing part way through, but it would have been cool as hell if it wasn't, like, a more Dragonic Spike snatching up mares and making them not want to go free
2183509 I'd read that, but I'm not sure if I'd be the best person to write it.
2188670
Well, you did pretty well for this one, but don't do anything you don't feel like doing, it's your time...
I enjoyed the idea a lot!
This needs to continue... I really want to see the dragon taming or other ideas Rarity could have
Other suggestions: Princess gets dragon "pet". Harem-dragon is not really a eunuch. Greedy Rogue steals from dragon's hoard...
The possibilities are endless!
2194385 I'm not sure what a eunuch is but it sounds amazing and I want one. Those are actually pretty close to the ideas I had for this. Rarity getting a dragon pet was the original idea I'd had for dragon tamer, but I had to change it. I can't have a submissive Spike with where I'm planning to go with this. The greedy rogue stealing from a dragon is going to be chapter three gem thief, and I have two other chapters planed out after that Dragon Princess and submission.
2197435 Eunuchs are... well... think geldling, only human.
In Arabian harems, the guards and slaves were castrated to not get interested in the harem women.
I was picturing a story where Rarity is kept in a harem and guarded by a strong, yet enslaved dragon. But he is not a eunuch
That was hot stuff. Love it!
Would make a good one-shot too.
Role play is fun.....fun as hell!!!
Especially when one truly does embrace one's creativity....the sky truly is the limit! And people say that books are bad....tsk, tsk. Some of the best ideas and scenarios that you can take with your special someone are surprising from books.
plz continue this!
Hawt
Damn, that's one hell of a way to roleplay. I approve of this
Can we assume its canceled?