I aspire to much, but am accomplished at little, as much as I wish it weren't so.
A scribe recounts (a small part of) the tale of the founder of his tribe, and how that founder gained the artifact that defines them to this day.
2nd-place winner of the January Writing Contest of the World-Building Alliance. Prompt: "Pick a race (other than ponies) and write an origin story for that race." Originally, I was going to do dragons, but then this idea sort of... happened.
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2005451
In an effort to minimize spoilers, the primary species of the fic will be referred to as "bananas", while a similar species that is generally larger, scarier, and sometimes live on boats shall be referred to as "pineapples".
Every use of "sun" and "moon" as measures of time was carefully researched - where "carefully researched" means "looked up quickly on Google". Most of the figures I used were actually for pineapples, since bananas generally live about half as long as pineapples do.
The average pineapple lives 3-4 years - hence, why 7782 suns (about 21-and-a-quarter years) was 8 generations ago. Similarly, pineapple pregnancies last 21-24 days, so I figured 19 was a safe "mah-belleh's-too-big-to-move" number. Of course, I also completely ignored the fact that banana bunches are usually 10-12 bananas, which would make the prospective size of the tribe a LOT larger than 82. I think my rationale is that, even though they're bananas, they are sentient bananas, and sentience somehow causes trees to bear much less fruit much less often.
...Did that metaphor get out of hand?
2005661
...Ah.
Hmm, this is a damn good story. I nailed the specie halfway through but it doesn't detract from the story, it's still awesome.
Makes my own entry feel like a kid.
The ending made me smile. I was racking my brain the whole time, trying to figure it out. (I was way off.)
So when I got to the final reveal, I immediately exclaimed, "Of course!"
D'awww, that was a cute little epilogue.
Overall, very nice story. Well done. One thing, though: Em dashes are your friend.
2091364
I'm still somewhat dumbfounded whenever anyone favorites this little bit of silliness, but thank you, all the same.
For me, Em dashes have always been infuriatingly difficult to create outside of any program other than Microsoft Word, which makes them for me automatically - but I'll do my best. Is there a keyboard shortcut for them?
2095486
I'm not sure what it is. I know there is one, but it's hopelessly complicated on a laptop, so I don't bother. When I use 'em, I copy+paste from a google search.
2095486
On a standalone keyboard, with Windows, Alt+0151 on the numpad. On a Mac, Alt+Shift+-. On a Windows laptop, no dice.
Ah, I guessed correctly!
A product of a misspent youth with too many Redwall books, I suspect.
2276378
I'd hardly call that 'misspent', my good fellow! 'Twas a wonderful series!
Though, that does remind me... there's still a few of them that I haven't read. I should really get on that some time.
So this is the famous pineapples and bananas fic. I thought so at first, but then I figured I must be wrong, but then... I guess I was expecting the pineapples and bananas to both show up within the fic.
Anyways, I like it.
One pet peeve:
Always a bit stilting to read. In this case, you're lucky to have an incredibly easy fix:
Sometimes, you have to re-write the entire sentence to get rid of it.
2740033
Famous, eh? I'll have to take your word on that.
As for had-hads, I'm a big fan of had-hads! That-thats, too! I can understand that they wouldn't be to everyone's tastes, though.
You can has review!