Many ponies believe themselves above the animals that dwell in the darkest reaches of the world, placing themselves upon a pedestal built by supposed superior sentience. But what good does a simple common belief do for a little lavender filly when she is thrown into the raging wild, away from the shelter of society with nothing but her developing magic and an unhatched dragon egg? Will little Twilight be torn apart by the fire-breathing creatures that rule the night, or will she rise above the lie of superiority and work towards reinventing her being?
To be faster...
Stronger...
Smarter...
Untamed...
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AN: Just a story Ink and I dug out from the old files in his computer to try and get something done while he recovers, enjoy.
In case you didn't catch the author's note, Ink and I are doing this as a side-story while he recover's to keep this account active at the very least.
I hope it doesn't disappoint, and do enjoy yourselves, dear readers.
PS: What groups would this fall under?
I shall have to read this.... just the preview alone intrigues me!
Oh GODS! THIS is a extremely well written story, holy shit...this is a read, though in some cases less words could be more meaningful then more....this is one of those cases, still
I believe Twilight's mother's name is Velvet but I'm not honestly sure about that, it's just the name people keep using
And this was a serious twist from the show, though it DOES have an AU tag but still....a filly defeating a Goddess? That's a serious bit unreal there
Huh.....damn, poor Spike is still not even hatched, this is going to be fun
I'm IN!
I'm sorry I must have seriously missed something here...is Ink Stroke alright?
oh gods this is amazing! i can't wait to see where this goes! and i hope Inky get's better soon! it's no fun being out of the game.
Does this sound similar to The Monster in the Twilight to anyone? Not that that's a bad thing.
as she rubbed her muzzled against it
1. Muzzle.
So Twilight made... no wait, she uhh... the only thing I can closely relate to ponies disappearing like that would be turned into incorporeal beings, but then again they should still be seen. Oh the theories that make my head spin! I love it! To an extent...
So basically, Twilight will have to go feral to survive?
I'm sorry, but as soon as I read this, I heard John Cleese in my head saying, "The Naughty Bits".
2637188
Sure looks that way. If this goes like Eakin's Duel Nature, I feel very sorry for the dragons
I like this, so out of my Read Later list and into my faves. Oh, yeah, have a thumbs-up.
I really like this story. It has Twilight being awesome, adventure and everyone's favourite dragon along for the ride.
Upvoted and favourite. Keep writing this please!
Side note, I am not sure, but this story might need the dark tag. It seems like it will be on the violent side.
2636409 Ink was injured for a time and still is but is recovering quite nicely. From his blog posts, life gave him bricks to deal with. Literally.
You remind me of PETA. I myself am a member, and we believe the same thing: we aren't superior to the animals around us. Which makes me wonder, are you a member too, by any chance?
The Great Eternal Artist,
Akasuna no Sasori
With your description you drew my curiosity sir, but now? Now you have my attention.
Can we please have more of this, Please?
Great first chapter.
I'm looking forward to seeing what will happen to Twilight. What kind of path will she take in this story? Will she become a great hero, or a great villain?
Twilight showed way more power than in canon. What will Celestia and the rest of Equestria think about what happen?
Oh dear sweet lord this is going to be GOOD.
I never did like the whole 'The Mane 6 owed their Cutie Marks to Rainbow Dash' thing. Seeing Twilight earn hers a different way is a nice touch.
I like where this is going. Twilight becoming badass/going feral in order to survive? I like that idea.
All that and no Magic Cutie Mark?
Otherwise, this story is BADASS.
Looks pretty good so far. I'll be keeping an eye on this.
Sidestory for you guys or not, I do hope this will get updated soon! I love the idea, and really want to see it explored.
2636316
Currently, "Adventure" and "Alternate Universe" are all that is required. I am not entirely sure about the specifics of "Slice of Life" are, but it may need that. Other than that, it really depends what way you send the story. If you wanted to, you could change the stories direction (throw a random human in for the hell of it, make it a crossover for shits and giggles, add some comedy because everyone needs a laugh from time to time) but it is ill advised. Adventure and Alternate Universe (with the possibility of Slice of Life) is all you need.
Yes.......fucking yes........ALL OF MY YES!!!!!!!!!!
This Chapter pleases me...
ANOTHER!
I wonder how much of canterlot is still intact?
2636498 Not really. We have a young Twilight overrun by her power during the exam, followed by her ending up somewhere else, but that's about it. The environment, the events, heck, even the after-surge Twilight is completely different.
will this story "only" be about twilight or are we gonna see how the ponys in canterlot fare? especially celestis pov from now on interests me^^
2640022
There'll be some of Celestia's point of view, but the main story will circulate around little Twilight. Maybe for the sake of a deeper story I'll thrown in snippets of Celestia and Canterlot while telling the tale.
2636498
I've never actually read that story, now I'm afraid that mine will be too similar.
Consarn my paranoid mind.
2640032
im fine with that^^
2640039
don´t worry I can already tell your story will be different^^
So, this is kinda like that movie coming out, "After Earth"?
Everything in this forest is designed to kill ponies...
(falls over laughing) Oh god that movie is going to suck so horribly.
Anyway, yeah, not buying into this. Twilight is ridiculously OP and far too knowledgeable about both magic AND science for her age, even had she studied nonstop from day 1 of birth.
Not to mention, the point of this story is purportedly about how ponies are not superior to other creatures... and yet the very first thing that happens is Twilight, A PONY, uses more power than any other creature on their entire planet possesses, sans Discord.
So... she's superior... But what's going to happen after this? Are we supposed to now accept that she can't use magic? Or that she has a severe lack of knowledge suddenly when she just SCANNED A DRAGON FETUS AND REPAIRED A DNA DEFECT?!
This opening is simply preposterously over-the-top. I cannot take it seriously.
2640274
I don't really comprehend if you're referring to the story or the movie with your last statement, but ok. If you do refer to the book, care to elaborate for the sake of me improving upon proper criticism.
Anyway, this story won't be all *Monster appears* *Battle* *Victory glee*, It'll be a lot more story driven. The first chapter is just a hook to catch the readers' attention because if it's too boring they'll leave immediately.
Oh bucking. *squirms in delight*
This is something. I haven't been this excited since "Stitch in Time."
You're writing is *shivers* bri-bri-brilliant. I hope it's sorta a Twilight is raised by dragons story.
*salivates at mouth* Twilight musht eat this meat now, yes?
Nomatter your direction, I'm 120% sure you'll make a delicious story.
I'm proud to put this in my favorites.
2640274
Um, reader, you did notice the AU tag, right? And of course filly Twilight was OP for a short moment, she was possessed by magic itself, it doesn't mean she'll be tearing up mountains as a foal whenever she feels like it.
And as for the age/intelligence, I have three things to say.
1.) Equines mature much faster than any normal human can.
2.) Element of Magic is bound to be more intelligent in my fannon, at the very least.
3.) It's a fanfiction for crying out loud, and a fanfiction placed in an alternate universe. For all you know I could put flying fire-breathing monkeys in there and say they've always been a part of normal life to the ponies.
But whatever, I'm just defending my point, I don't want this getting feisty.
2640388 There must be an internal continuity and logic to even fantasy worlds, otherwise they amount to so much tripe.
Twilight's intellect is beyond even the scope of her world's technology. Are you saying that they have already sequenced dragon genomes? If so, then this drastically advanced technology needs to be established as part of the alternate universe.
Alternatively, does this suggest that the magic itself is a highly intelligent entity?
If so, this introduces the notion of an omnipotent entity. and hence there are indeed going to be creatures that are superior to others, contradicting what is stated to be a prevailing theme.
Twilight's resequencing of Spike's DNA is a detail that is both contrary to logic and also needlessly irrelevant. It adds a problem that doesn't need to be there at all. Strip it away, and the world makes more sense. You're left with just Twilight's power surge without the head-scratching implications the DNA detail introduces.
2640546
Twilight being possesed by her own Element didn't mean she was being possessed by another living being, she was hot wired into existence, being everything and everyone while knowing everything that everyone else has known in the past and present as long as she was under the Element's control, and she lost all of that knowledge as soon as the connection was severed and she crash landed in Draconia. It's a weird concept, but I can't exactly start a philosophical debate on whether or not magic is considered alive it is everything, it was simply a path I could use as the prologue to the story.
Besides the story's whole focus won't be deterred by her possession, it was simply a plot point I could use to set up everything else I have planned, and Magic possessing Twilight will most likely not happen again in the story.
Well that's what you get for sleeping with your mouth open.
Wait, if this was just the prologue then i can hardly wait to see how this story progresses.
2640587 Ah... well then I must point out that such one-shot plot devices aren't the sort of thing a writer should use merely to set up the story. It is a critically important event in her life, as well as a phenomenon no one, not even the Princess, was prepared for.
This presents the implication that it is of great importance to the character Twilight, and should therefore feature prominently in the main plot of the story.
For such a drastic and dramatic event to mean nothing at all other than a throw-away device weakens the story terribly. It starts a precedent right off that much of what happens may inevitably be irrelevant action aimed primarily at putting a character in a specific location or to set up a reaction between characters.
Her powers were such that she froze (and killed?) Celestia. A little filly overpowered the nigh-immortal being that moves the sun and moon (NMM's not back yet, after all). I cannot imagine that everyone is simply going to forget all about that, no matter how much time passes before Twilight is seen by ponies again. And invariably, someone is going to want to explore the issue deeply. It's too unique an event to ignore. It's the sort of thing scientists would study for centuries or villains would clamor over to find the secret to gaining absolute power.
It is NOT the type of thing you just toss out with no further exploration or explanation.
2640587
I'm here.. You know.. the story... Part of my name.. Weren't you calling me?
...
...
Well forget you too then! I don't go where I'm not wanted!
2640747
Hey, of course the title is dedicated to you! I adore my readers, and if you want the title to be dedicated to you, then so be it!
2640746
You know what, I just made my argument undermine the possession, I guess I'm not good at explaining this part. The possession will still play a part, but I won't say much more, not now.
It seems that I can't explain things to you right, so I'll just post the next chapter instead of you or any other readers making inferences of a single prologue chapter.
2640754
To go back more to the comment I responded to, I'd imagine The Elements of Harmony are similar to the creatures who represent the Emotional Spectrum in the DC universe (Parallax, Ion, etc)
I like it!!!
2640768 Well, I just hope Celestia lives through the icy encounter. Because, oh dear lord, are you in for a type-lashing if something so trivial managed to kill her.
I'm only going to say that a number of things from the canon will have to be completely eliminated to make that reasonable.
I'm assuming you're going to have Celestia dead given that you speak of Twilight's freezing her as a great crime. If she lives, that's merely aggravated assault. It's not even attempted murder since Twilight was out of her mind at the time.
I wonder if you'll realize what cannot happen any longer in the event that Celestia can be killed so easily.
2640842
Don't worry, Celestia is vital to the plot and it'd be plain stupid if an ice beam killed the goddess of the sun. I think I mentioned in the comments earlier that I'd be including her and Canterlot as a miniature side-plot as the story progresses from Twilight's side.
2640842
Don't think she is dead.
Great first chapter! It was very well written, and I can't wait for the next one!
This is just a guess but ...
Twilight may have to use the lactation spell she learned in the last pages of the book on mare biology...