“As you enter the Catacombs, the stench of death surrounds you. Screams echo through the stone halls, and a feeling of foreboding permeates your very soul. The dark passage twists away ahead of your party, splitting into three paths, each more horrible than the last. What do you do?”
“Uh… I don’t know.”
Spike hung his head in his hands. “Come on Luna, we’ve been over this.”
“I’m sorry, Spike.” said the princess, shrugging her shoulders, “I just don’t understand this strange game, I suppose.”
Light flooded through the castle’s basement as Celestia stuck her head through the door. “Is everybody having fun?” she said in a peppy tone that was starting to irritate Spike.
“We’re fine!” he shouted back testily.
“Are you thirsty?” the older princess persisted, “Should I make some orange drink?”
“No, thank you! We’re good!” he said, drumming his fingers on the old table.
“Okay, I’ll be upstairs if you need me!” she said, closing the door behind her.
“Alright,” Spike said, getting back to business, “Now, the party encounters…”
“My magnificent character casts Shadow Walk!” a blue unicorn butt in.
Spike cringed, “Trixie, for the last time, you can’t cast anything above fourth level.”
Trixie scoffed. “Nonsense! The Great and Powerful…”
"I don’t care how great and powerful you think you are,” Spike cut her off, “your character is only level four, so you can’t Shadow Walk!”
“This is lame. You’re lame, Spike.” said a gruff voice.
“Don’t you start with me again, Gilda.” Spike turned on the griffin, narrowing his eyes.
She snorted at him derisively. “I’m just saying I could run this dorky game way better than you.”
“What, you want a turn as DM? Shall we each have a go, perhaps?” said Spike with mock politeness, then brought his fist down on the table, rattling his collection of miniatures, “No way. This is my campaign, we’re doing it my way.” He felt a hoof tap him on his shoulder.
“Can Snails re-roll his character?” asked Snips, “He doesn’t wanna be a elf anymore.”
"Yeah!” said Snails, “I want to be a half-elf, eh?”
“I actually wouldn’t mind having some orange drink.” said Bon Bon, apropos of nothing.
Spike slumped in his seat. “You guys suck.” he said glumly, “I miss playing with Derpy.”
Lyra raised an eyebrow. “Who the heck is Derpy?”