What do you do when you know something you're not supposed to know. Or when one of the most fundamental aspects of life is completely removed, and then replaced by something that should never exist. What would anypony do? Well I tried to fix it.
-cover art by SolarFlare-Solis
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Favorite-ing for later, hopefully good review will catch my attention.
While I despise a prologue without a follow up, this has my attention.
1912412
Don't worry, I will add more ASAFP.
1912433
Take as long as you need.
I'd like to see this all done excelently and I very much expect you're capable!
1912439
Well, I'm not going to let it slip, but I won't do like some and post one chapter then don't visit it again for a month. Or ever.
FOREEEVVVVEEER!!!
Sorry. It couldn't be helped...
You've earned yourself 4/5 mustaches for the concept and impeccable grammar and spelling.
1912513
4/5 hmmm.
It's a start. Tell me what you didn't like, or you think it is missing. Don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings. But I would like to know for future reference so that newer chapters can be better. As I said, open to suggestions from someone other than my brain.
1912535
There's nothing necessarily wrong with it that takes away that mustache, it's just not quite the perfect story in my opinion. It's good, though. Keep it up.
1912577
Okay, I will accept that. Everyone is entitled to there own opinions, and I will gladly take those 4. Mark my words though, I will put every ounce of effort into getting that last one. Until then I am 20% below maximum awesomeness. RD doesn't approve.
1912638
So what you're telling me is that you plan on making this story about 20% cooler?
Well, well, this is interesting-looking indeed
Loving the banter between Celestia and Discord (and I wonder what the hell he's got planned this time?!)
I'll keep an eye on this one
I demur. I can fail to catch my own mistakes no matter how poorly I think of myself.
Still, this is a heck of an opening, and I'll stick around for what's next.
Cool
Decided I will post an update to this story on Friday. Depending on how much time I work on it between now and then, it could be a decent length. (not talking novel size here, obviously, but definitely longer than the prologue was). More info on my page.
Never mind then! Really just had to get something up. Sorry. This is more for my own satisfaction then for your enjoyment (getting something up before I said I would) because I was having a hard time waiting until Friday. I Pinkie Promise that I will wait until Friday for the next one though. And now I actually have to, because I am being watched after making that promise.
It seemed a little short, but maybe that's just me. Pinkie promise that the next chapter will be longer?
I'd be willing to serve as your editor, though only if that's okay with you, that is. While I'm at it, here's a couple of things you might want to fix really quickly:
Needs a question mark after 'coffee.'
'Tale' should be 'tail' and 'Rainblow Dry' should be 'rain blow dry.'
Not an obvious spelling/grammar issue, but you might want to change 'He said in an attempt to defend himself as the door opened' to 'Spike tried to defend himself as he opened the door,' or something to that effect. It just reads oddly, or maybe it's me.
Loving the story, so far!
Numbers... Title is Expiration Date... Hmm... Logic points to one thing... Not going to say it though.
Anyways, great story, can't wait for more! Take my star!
1923893
I don't even know where tale came from. So let us agree to never speak of this again.
1924560
One of the many things Shakespeare used in his works was dramatic irony. This is when the audience knows something that the characters do not. So the whole time the characters are doing something, or trying to figure something out, the audience is screaming "NO!" or "DON'T OPEN THE DOOR, THE MURDERER IS ON THE OTHER SIDE" at them, but the characters don't listen. It is one of my favorite literary tools.
1925470
Not what I was pointing out. This isn't ironic. Yet.
Irony is still one of the greatest tools of the world. The others are sarcasm, overconfidence and a small screwdriver. With these tools in your arsenal, nothing can stop you.
1925539
You know, I didn't realize it until lit class today (since we are going over Shakespeare stuff) that my plans for this story feel somewhat Shakespearean. I'm not going to say in what way, just that they do. To me, at least. Others might not see it the same way.
1927152 So we're gonna get some mistaken identity and star-cross'd lovers? Or does Luna get to use the 'Royal Canterlot Voice?'
And yes, we shall never speak of 'tale' again. Pinkie promise. CROSS MY HEART HOPE TO FLY STICK A CUPCAKE IN MY EYE.
EDIT: Caught ya. Again.
'What could possibly have the little dragon so worked up' needs a question mark. :P
1927430
I don't like you...
JUST KIDDING!!! Thank you very much. It is difficult to catch your own mistakes. I have personally read this thing over close to ten times, but I know the words and what it is that I have written, so I don't need to analyze each sentence on such a critical level in order to derive the implied meaning from it. You, the reader, do. This is the critical difference. I can read someone's fic and notice every little mistake, but when it comes to my own, I only notice 80% of them. (And yes, I got rid of that many mistakes on my many read throughs) But this means that it is up to my readers to help me make it 20% more mistake free.
And I apologize for the use of such a cliche saying, I just can't help myself sometimes...
1927472
Well, I tend to sort of half-skim read. I read most of the words very quickly and fill in the gaps. Occasionally I miss out on story details, but usually it works. I don't tend to pick out mistakes however, unless they're glaringly obvious.
1927873
And this is why he is pointing out the mistakes and you are enjoying the story (I hope). Not to say he isn't, you just don't carry the burden of noticing the mistakes.
1929293
Yep. I am gladly unburdened by mistakes, and am enjoying this story. Also, on a semi-unrelated note, no-one's called me out on my slight reference.
1929504
I can't say I recognize the reference, but if I had to guess, Dr. Who maybe. Wouldn't really know, just hear fans of the show mentioning screw drivers at times.
UPDATE: Work and school had me bogged down this week, so an update may be a few days late.
On a completely related side note, I would like to see what you all prefer. And by that I mean that I have come up with three options:
Option 1- Continue putting out stories on a once a week basis, varying in length between 1-5k words.
Option 2- Continue putting out stories, but only once every two weeks. Stories will be closer to 5k words each time, possibly better story development due to me having more time to put thought into it.
Option 3- Take off between a few weeks and a month to get ahead on the writing process. I will then revert to one of the aforementioned options. This will allow for unforeseen complications such as the ones I have faced this week to pass by without causing problems. It will also allow for better story development due to me having more time to put more thought in.
I will make the ultimate decision, but I would like the input of anyone who cares enough to give input on this situation. This will help me make the decision that I stick with in the end. You have until Wednesday January 16, 2013 to give input. After that, the polls are closed, and my mind is made up.