• Member Since 8th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 21st, 2015

dtlux1


E

Luna sends the mane 6 to find a castle, that was one month ago, now she must go to everyone's favorite background ponies for help. Story was edited by opuscon789. I will be editing the first couple of chapters to make them better.
dtlux1


Also on devianart.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 28 )

This is my second fanfic, please tell me if you like it.
dtlux1

I got a question did you import it from google doc or look at the edits I made

1911623 I saved it as a document and read it, would have imported if I knew that option was there, but reading it made me see how good you made it. I like the changes. Will read if you edit from now on.
dtlux1

I would be willing to help you format your story for fimfiction so you don't have to.

You know like add pharagrah indents, centering stuff, and what not.

1911779 That sounds good, I might take you up on that offer for chapter 2. Should be done by next weekend.
dtlux1

I could have sworn Vinyl Scratch didn't live in Ponyville. :rainbowhuh:

1911641 just so you know the option was there

you could like, describe things a bit more, that would be good.,

1911779 Hey, I am typing it now, could you possably do that after it is edited?
dtlux1

1990814 K, i should be done typing by wendsday, but I need to have it edited by opuscon first, not sure when he will be done.
dtlux1

1990814 does this mean we have to work together on this. Don't worry once its edited I can send it to you

1990942 When I edit it will probably be the next day because once I get it I do it

1995999
it's best that I don't have any destractions when I go through our friends story

1996309 im just going to add your email now before I forget

1996355 I already did I also sent a email

1996355>>1996363 You know something, you didn't need to work together, would have sent it after, also, not that I care, it is actually good, but I got spammed with notifications, it is good though. Have fun then. Sorry for the wait, I keep forgetting because of video games, but will have done by friday, if not wednesday.
dtlux1

well that's pinkie pie for ya taking a bulldozer to the 4th wall

"HIYA!!!"

"PINKIE STOP YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING WHILE I COMMENT"

1991055I just wanted to know if the offer was still valid, sorry, but I am telling myself to have it done by Friday.
dtlux1

2178596 Ok, I don't need you this chapter, might not need you at all.
dtlux1

I'm going to start by saying, this is by far the worst story I have ever read.
However, as a fellow writer I know that this story has a lot of potential, it actually caught my eye from the main page. So, instead of dissing it and running, here are a few things that would make the story much better.
1. A frame of reference.
I have no idea when this story takes place in reference to canon events, to fix this could be as simple as saying that it was x days since (canon event) when twilight got the letter.
2. Pacing/descriptions
Despite pinkies rant to the author, it's ok to make the story longer, but it should be lengthened through a few, detailed, scenarios rather than many, poorly described, events.
3. References
This story has quite a few. When you write a story,the events you describe become part of the local canon. Therefore, everything you reference not only happened, but happened prior to the reference point. The only exception is pinky.
in order to reinforce the notion that I am not dissing and dashing, feel free to respond to me at: balanceequestria@gmail .com

3959078 I have been trying to improve on this story, and have thought on going back and editing it for some time now. Those are some good sugestions. And while you say this story is bad, it is far better than a lot of stories on this site. Take this story for example. :pinkiehappy: Thankyou for the sugestions, maybe when I get the time, I will come back to this and fix it. And just so you know, there are people that do like this story, so it isn't that bad. I agree it can use improvement, but again, far from the worst story on the site. Thank you though, I am someone who can accept criticisum, and I know quite a few people who can't. I hope I have time to make this story better, been meaning to for the past year.

3959078 Also.

pinky

It's Pinkie.

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