Dude, this i great, keep it up!

Based on this it seems like Twilight is the one who is crushing, though she may not realize it. Rarity's behavior is all innocent on its own, especially when you consider that pony's don't care a whit about wearing clothes or not. Twilight, however, is imagining everything as titillating. Seems like she may need to do some more self-reflection here.

Very interesting, I look forward to seeing where this goes. Good job.

Taking innocent gestures and turning them into shipping fuel - Bronies.

I love it XD its also kinda obvious that its probably not Rarity with the crush

Alright, Fine. Twilight shipping is BEST shipping

Cheers

~iraqlobstah

pretty interesting even if this first chapter seems a bit bland to me, looking forward to the next one though

really liked this! from one new author to another: keep this up! we don't have nearly enough rarity shipping

Ooh. Interesting. Keep it comin'!

Oh, Ah kannot wayt fur the next wun!

Hmm int seems to be intrestingg, can't wait to read more of it.

interesting concept...

want

but it seems twilight has the crush...

Thanks to all of you for the feedback!

The main idea of the chapter is Twilight realizes that Rarity perhaps treats her a bit differently (especially when compared to the other ponies). Right now Twilight is simply confused, and all revelations will come later.

Well, I got this idea when I noticed that of the three pairs of sovereigns/advisers in the Hearth's Warming Eve episode, Twilight and Rarity were more 'snuggly ' than the others, and during the final carol, they were the only pair that weren't shuffled. (AJ with Flutter, Pinkie with RD)

Oh no I know that makes my mind sound twisted or something...

Interesting, but if you're using stuff from the show consider. . .

S. 2 Ep. 10: Rarity takes time to help Twilight sort out her library and even makes her a dress.

S.2 Ep. 9: Her comment towards Twi. about being the best and she was going to pour herself into making an extremely fancy dress for her.

S.2 Ep. 1: Gave Twi her umbrella.

Ep. 14: Twilight was the first to be offered a dress for the gala (again with the dresses, I know).

Ep. 8:  She was the one to suggest that they try and make Twi's sleepover a success.

>>142364142364

I'm so grateful that you took the time to list those moments in the show

I also thought the Rarity giving her umbrella to Twilight scene was so I mean, she risked her glorious mane! I'll find someway or another to mention more of the points.

And to everyone who commented, I thank you again for the feedback and suggestions

There was a significant amount of ice i feel, but it was all in character, Twilights pulling back and detaching herself from the situation to analyze it was completely expected. Again, it's nice to read something where the characters feel so much like from the show, slight changes to make the story feasible but forgivable. great work

Twilight had a small habit to do that in the show I think. Take when Twilight was studying Pinkie's "Pinkie senses", she tried her very best to disprove it being able to work. Lets not forget when she was looking around trying to cause her friends distress only to fix it.

She spent most of her life by herself, reading. Her being a bit cold in times is pretty much in character.

Its a great Fic and I can't wait for the next one ^^

I'm glad I could help.

I really think I'd like this more if it's Twilight who's into Rarity. There's just too much evidence in the show that of all the ponies, Rarity is the one absolutely, positively into stallions.

I think Twilight was in her character and so was Rarity so I really liked the chapter, but It would be to show how the other girs see the whole thing.

Like. MOAR

Rarity calls her beautiful and not even a Blush.   <----- LIKE THIS?!

Shame, Author. SHAME.

If you do romance, YOU DO IT RIGHT.  

Cheers

~iraqlobstah

I want to say there's something that could be improved on but it's looking great. Really great. Keep it up!

Nice chapter. Looking forward to seeing more. There isn't enough Rarilight stories if you ask me, so nice to see a new one pop up.

As long as you're enjoying the writing process then it still counts as a vacation!

I enjoyed these little vignettes, too.

“Let us never speak of this again.” ..

and yet....

I like this chapter. I think you put it together nicely.

HNGGGGHHHH

I believe it's french for perfume?

not sure though.

it seems like the whole thing was a chess match for Twilight, where the game was too see if she could get Rarity to admit her feelings. However, she didn't plan what to do AFTER she got her to admit them.

This is good

>>163586163586 It is!

It's missing something, don't get me wrong the chapter is very nice, it's just that things feel a little rushed.

Or something like it, I'm not even sure.

Can't wait for the next one though.

da

liked this very much

however, i don't think spike will be very pleased

Wow I really like how you made this chapter.

Keep up the good work

>>163552163552

Is that a sound indicating a nosebleed? If I'm wrong, no offence meant

>>163586163586

Well I learned that word from some magazine I recall. But my french is not really good either so if there are any mistakes with the usage please tell me

>>163602163602

to you too!

>>163796163796

How is it you manage to summarize the whole chapter so well!!!

>>163972163972

Thanks for the clarification and for replying to and reading the other chapters as well

>>164123164123

I'll have to check on my pacing better, personally I think there are some things that could be better as well! And thanks for reading this, I'd love to hear more suggestions from you

>>164168164168

Thanks!!! And I'm planning the Spike part already And a teaser: the chapter after the next will have a lot of episode 14

>>164947164947

Thanks It means a lot to me that you like it!

>>165501165501

Hey I remember you're the first one ever to comment on this fanfic lol.

And thanks to everyone for reading~

Rodeo? You mean the one where Rarity gets left in the middle of nowhere with Pinkie Pie?

Hopefully for Twilight she is the one that goes back for them. It would look bad it she completely forgets about .

im so sad,now i have to wait for more.

squee

and MOAR

Alright, another chapter

To be honest, last chapter felt rushed and kind of forced. This one, however, had better pacing and detail. I'm also happy to finally find a Twilight/Rarity author who addresses the issue of Spike and how he might feel about this

>>172581172581

Heh heh, u bad! Y u can think of stuff on my draft?

>>172964172964

Awww, don't be sad please Though I admit the next few chapters are the toughest I've ever written, so I might have to take a bit more time than usual

>>173223173223

Thanks~ for the support and comments! It's readers like you that give me motivation to write this

>>174443174443

Thanks for telling me! And I do apologize for the last chapter, I know it's not the best I've written   Hopefully future chapters won't feel as rushed. Perhaps I should expand the chapters a bit, I noticed that my chapters are a bit light in wordcount

Sorry for replying a bit late...

>>161357161357

Thanks! And I'm also a fan of Rari-light, Twi-Rarity, whatever you can call it, haha

>>161361161361

I'm glad you think so! I was unsure if I should post this chapter or not at first, but I decided yes in the end because it kinda explains (in a subtle way) how Rarity came to like Twilight.

>>161410161410

Yeah, that Applemeanie...

>>161663161663

Glad you did. And I really didn't know what to call this chapter at first. lol.

I'm sorry for the really late reply

>>142658142658

I thought at first when planning this fic that I would like it to be pretty close to the episode, and it would be kinda like, something that happened offscreen? So I use stuff and lines from the actual episodes. It's great to hear that it feels like the show.

>>142705142705

Glad you think so! To tell the truth, I found Twilight easier to write than Rarity. Maybe it's because there are more Twilight lines and scenes in the episode, or maybe it's just me.

>>143113143113

Yeah, I know that too But... I just felt they could be together. Sorry

>>143250143250

I'm trying to plan how they'll break the news, but since I refer to the actual episodes a lot, I think I'll just let Pinkie know at first, cuz she's good at keeping secrets And of course she would never let anything slip... ON SCREEN!

>>143294143294

Thanks. You're awesome. I really hope my future chapters don't let you down.

>>143596143596

Yeah, that was unforgivable of me, although I didn't want to mention it because this chapter was mostly from Twilight's point of view. But I really should have mentioned that 'Twilight didn't notice the faint blush' or something like that. Thank you! I think I'll make some slight changes in that part in the future. If you have anything else you want to tell me, please let me know

>>152607152607

Thanks! I know my stuff is far from perfect, but I hope it does get better. It's really thanks to these comments that I can find some problems with my writing.

"Their finished their meal with herbal tea" "thought Twilight with a small sign" "so she decided to make thinking of a way"

Just a few errors around the end of the chapter but I'm really loving the this story. I like the awkward and nervous mood they have for their first date. The whole scene just seems so adorable.

This is episode 14 of season 2? But you didn't mention Derpy anywhere in the story.

>>180307180307

derpy was with ranbow not twilight or rarity

>>180280180280

Thanks for noticing those errors! You're awesome!

I cleaned up the first two but not sure yet how to change the 3rd one...

it will be interesting to see how you explain Twilight (and RD and Fluttershy) leaving poor Rarity alone in the middle of the desert with Pinkie ...

>>180307180307

An apology to Derpy fans I couldn't do all the detail in the episode because then people would be better off watching the actual thing or reading the transcript...

So I mostly picked the parts where there's Twi-Rarity interaction.

>>180324180324

Yep, that's the main reason. And I dunno if you noticed, but stuff in the 2nd half of this chapter, such as when Twi and Rarity 'look at each other' or 'Rarity pokes her hairnet' really happens in the episode

>>181119181119

I'm working on that now But the really hard thing for me is to think of how Twilight tells Spike. What if Rari-Spike somehow goes canon???!!! I have nightmares about that LOL. And I'm totally scared that there will be some episode with Rarity falling in love or something else...

>>182998182998

If canon becomes a problem, add an alternate universe tag.

Cannon is the biggest fear too all Fannon writers.

If Lyra or Bon Bon were ever shown married, you would be able to hear the cries of the fans.

Thats why we have Schrodinger

>>183017183017

Thanks for the tip

>>183847183847

Yeah, you're right

So I'll just get off there and put em up!

I'm not familiar with the Schrodinger theory tho(??)(I've heard of something like that but I don't really remember)

-----

And I need to tell you a secret...:

I think my writing is awful

Ugh, if you're just going to act out the episode, at least put your own twist on it. Mess with perspectives; Pinkie saw Applejack exit the restroom, but Rarity and Twilight didn't, for example. Tell their story. Otherwise this is just going to be a chore to read.

>>185725185725

You're quite right, the 2nd half of this chapter is a real drag

I've learned a lot from your comment, and thanks to you, hopefully the next chapter won't be as boring

Ooh, so adorable! It's neat how you're taking previous episodes and take little unseen scenes from them and turning them into Twilight x Rarity deliciousness! It's adorable. It's interesting to see your take on what went on "behind the scenes". Heh...Twilight is so cute, sleeping with Rarity. Pinkie is such a little brat...but, we all love her. Anyway, great job.

Sooooooo how pissed is Rarity going to be?

hell yeah, chinese new year!

>>189254189254

At Rainbow Dash? Very.

not a good writer? my flank! you are awesome!

I'm worried that Twi's going to end up getting lost looking for them.  Desert terrain isn't good for getting lost in....

>>189079189079

I'm sooooo glad you liked it

actually i almost fainted when i saw your comment, i was so happy

But I know I've reeeaaaally got a lot of room for improvement too

>>189254189254

Haha, well, I think Rarity's not going to be very mad at Twilight~ but there will be some tears shed and Pinkie's gonna bury a key under a house (tries to act mysteriously and failing)

>>189426189426

huzzah! <-- (what?) I'm probably not going to portray the 'violence' that may befall poor RD...

Or should I???? Hmmm. thinking... Twilight and Rarity confront RD? (makes a note on draft)

>>189435189435

Thanks for the praise eeep!! and i'm hyped...>< Curls is actually on the popular stories list on the front page??!! *twilight yesyesyes mode* though i know it'll probably fall out after a few minutes

>>189441189441

she'll find a way

<-- conquers everything

Oh, I think Rarity will forgive her - especially as Twilight just went on a wild goose chase to try to find her again.

Heh, I love the interactions between Twilight and Rarity. Rarity is always inadvertently teasing Twilight while making her suggestive remarks. And Twilight manages to make herself even more dorky each time.

>>189609189609

Heh heh

>>191765191765

Rarity's kimono in Read it and Weep gave me some ideas... to make Twilight heat up like a volcano DORK ALERT

>>189342189342

Yay

It's the time of year I gain lots of weight

Chinese New Year, the holiday excuse for everyone to stuff themselves

>>185820185820 It wasn't!  Good job staying fresh while using the same story as the episode!

I love where this is headed. Though I do wonder how the others will react to Rarity and Twilight being together. I think the one that's going to take it the hardest is Spike since from the way you're telling us and building it up, he won't be happy at all and feel betrayed. This is certainly getting good.

Now Twilight just needs to learn a spell for sculpting clouds to give them sides to prevent herself from falling out. Then bam, cloud charriot.

Looking good. :)

Pinkie wants them to make out!

Pinkie likes mare-on-mare action a lot. :)

Pinkie Pie you saucy minx!

Brilliant story so far - keep it up.

whhooooo

make-out party!

GMT+8? Are you in Perth too? Not a lot of talent comes out of this city, so if you are then good on you (also if you aren't, this story is great)

>>204027204027

And thus the unicorn master race conquered the skies.

>>203363203363

Thanks

The Spike part is definitely coming, but there will be some more Rari-Twi scenes before getting to that

>>204027204027

That just sounds too awesome to be true Supreme ruler of Magic

>>204067204067

Couldn't have done it without ur help You're awesome!!!

>>204135204135

More than half of the comments are about the last line I almost laughed out loud, and I was in class! (itouch freak)

>>204328204328

This is the second comment that made me hide me face in my scarf, it was so hard not to burst out laughing

>>204354204354

Thanks Hoho Pinkie Pie is bad-flank Maybe she'll spike the punch... wat???

>>204365204365

That sounds like everypony in the party is making out rofl Okay now I'm sure I will write about the said partay

>>204740204740

Thanks Actually I currently live in Taipei, but it's great that I share a time zone with other bronies! Bronies so scarce here

>>205252205252

Twilight can use this trick to seduce anypony she wants

"Hey hawty, I'm not a pegasi, but... winks wanna fly with me?"  wait... that wasn't funny

can you start uploading these.....daily

>>207008207008

They are ready when they are ready. After all, it is not as though all the chapters have already been written.

>>205622205622

And that is exactly why I am sure she will use that line on Rarity at some point, to awkward stares and laughter.  

And why do I get the feeling that Pinkie's going to make sure there are cameras in her room before the next party?  

>>207008207008

I wish I could... but I'm no Twilight Sparkle genius magical unicorn

It's great that you like this, though I'm no great writer... I don't even live in an English speaking country anymore

>>207476207476

The first two chapters I finished in a single day... but as I wrote, I realized that I had to plan and do everything more carefully, I owe it all to you guys and gals because I never expected that so many people would be reading this I don't even think I can whip up a valentine's special

>>207851207851

Hoho, spying Pinkie?? Hopefully she won't use the videos for blackmail...

And we all know Twilight is a dunce when it comes to pickup lines

And so they continue to work on the awkwardness.

Gotta fix up that awkward, Rarity!

Pfffft, ". . . next time we have a party, you can make out in my room!"

HAHAHAHAHA!!

I've got a sinking feeling that the next chapter gets even sexier.

"same position for the whole morn ing" towards the end.

Well now I'm just dying to see a picture of Twilight reading books on Rarity's chaise lounger.

Before i started reading this TwiDash was my favorite ship couple, now its Twity er well Rarity and Twilight

>>215128215128

Raright Sparkity.

>>212705212705

There's going to be some more... BWAHAHAHA

>>213036213036

She's probably caught some dork from Twilight no... she's (whispers) horny /like all unicorns are/

>>214781214781

I've got some planned

>>214805214805

Thanks! My bad Unfortunately the mobile interface wasn't so convenient for editing...

>>215128215128

I'm honored Really >< It's one of my favs too (that's why I wrote this)

Good story keep it up.  As for your question I personally prefer longer chapter as it gives more for you to sink your teeth into.  On the other hand write as much as you feel comfortable with and not burn yourself out. As for HHD I dunno I don't have a romantic bone in my body, I am a romantic jellyfish.

For romance stories that do not involve action/adventure, details are important. So longer chapters tend to be better, as long as repition is avoided. (enough was said about the salad, but a bit more about the massage would not have been a bad thing; say a scentence or two discribing what Twilight does beyond applying pressure to Rarity's back)

For this story, I would think Twilight was reading up on the history of the holiday to find something special she an Rarity could do for the occation, so something that could be considered a long standing tradition activity. Stars and night time are often considered romatic, and Twilight seems to like star gazing. (and had found something by they time she gives it to the CMC, but had continued reading cause it was a book)

Rarity could have her own something special planned, possibly something from one of her romatic fantasies, preferably something they have not done together in the story so far. (Not very specific, but she is harder since she seems to type come have a broader range of things she wants to do)

Whatever they do, it would need to keep Twilight from seeing the mess the CMC's silly antics cause so that she does not try stopping it.

Also I feel this dinner scene was more interesting than the last, keep up the good work.

A)

Image: http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS9uXxOeHX2lcTkgw8tjRiUybAHsVblKE3vexGxbOCGgS9uYWAErHiWEPhU

and B)

Image: http://chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-party-reasonably1.gif

I want to let you know that I'm back completely onboard with this story. I'm loving this new domesticity between Rarity and Twilight. I do fear that the time is nigh (neigh?) for you to throw in a bit of conflict, whether that be from or from or having their feelings hurt, or feelings changed for one another.

Right now, though, you're doing everything right.

This is very interesting here. The time has come for Spike to go full out insane and blast Twilight. In fact who knows where this could go? In fact I don't know why but I keep seeing Spike run away and never come back for feeling he lost everything.

In fact if the chapter is going to be set on Hearts and Hooves Day, then damn is Spike going to be disappointed big time. I mean can you imagine the rage and anger?

A) longer chapters are nice, but have the flaw that we have to wait longer for them. So i would like that it stays how it is.

B) Rarity is hard like >>218073218073 said but i can imagine giving her a accessory with

1) a plain Rock (to Remember Tom and the whole Discord-thing which was the moment Rarity became aware of her Emotions)

2)an Emerald and an Ruby (to remember the first Time they meet "Emeralds? What was i thinking? Let me get you some Rubies!")

Twilight i can imagine trying with the whole standard Date thing (You know a meal at a fancy restaurant, then a movie[do they have movies? well they have Video-games, that got just confirmed …])

EDIT: to add to 2) the piece holding the Gems could look like Twilights mane at that the time, but i doubt that Rarity would allow such a crime against fashion.

EDIT2: sry i forgot

Image: http://cdn.polfurs.org/chanfiles/p/src/p_PFchan_130644424463.gif

This is going somewhere correct? Im not seeing a plot developing yet, unless its just going to be her coming out to all her friends and what-not.

Cheers

~iralqobstah

>>218018218018

To tell the truth, when I hadn't started writing my own fanfics yet, I often got lazy when I see a big, huge, thick lotta words chapter So when I started writing my own I thought I should make em not so long. But then I read this awesome big fat chapter and I was like 'what? so short?' and then I looked at the word count, and then I got guilty.

>>218073218073

Thanks for pointing that out! I'll try to make those improvements and add those details when I get the chance to revise my chapters again.

Yeah, I've considered using stuff from the HHD episode, but wasn't certain how to string things together... reading for a traditional romantic activity sounds just like Twilight! and she'd be busy so she doesn't notice the ruckus that  the CMC are causing around Ponyville... thanks for giving me a clearer idea

Hmm, I was worried that writing twice about them eating would be repeating myself, but in the end I decided that cooking for a marefriend is totally different from eating out... it's what I thought 'cute' couples would do (wat's that supposed to mean, I don't really know how to explain) Thanks for your detailed comment and suggestions my brain really isn't the smartest thing

>>218649218649

Wow... first pic comment ever!!! and response to B): I sure hope they don't party like CRAZY

>>218911218911

Thanks To tell the truth when I look back at my first few chapters... I really, really want to facehoof. Hard. I just hope that I'm improving... and of course Spike's 'basic' reaction was something I planned from the very start, but now I have to fill in all the details and find it pretty complicated to write

>>219070219070>>219089219089

It is a really heartbreaking chapter (for me to write) I want to make Spike's reaction convincing, so! I forced myself to imagine long and hard what it would feel like if the girl that turned me down was now dating my best friend... and then I felt like puking Urgh!

>>219474219474

Thanks for the suggestion! I hadn't thought of Rarity giving Twi something to remind them of a time in their past, that's a pretty awesome idea! Video games? I didn't know about that just got confirmed? Wow another pic comment Starfall's great!

>>219500219500

Do you think from my previous chapters that I need to add a slice of life tag...? Well, I'm not going to end this with them telling their friends (apart from Pinkie who already knows), that would be waaay too boring