Our Only Hope
The Canterlot Chaos Suppression Force, a highly trained unit of the Royal Guard specially equipped to clear up massive and random disasters, was formed shortly after Nightmare Moon’s final defeat, and had experience from Discord’s escape and the wedding fiasco, and was now again earning their reputation by cleaning the Royal Gardens after Pinkie Pie’s magical rampage. The pink pony responsible was being held captive when her friends arrived. Princess Celestia approached, freed from the yellow, succulent clutches of a titanic tropical fruit. One could instantly tell her displeasure by her physiognomy. She did not look dissimilar to when she had to confront one of the many terrors that seemed to flock to Canterlot whenever a season was beginning or ending.
“Pinkie Pie” she said. The terrified earth pony looked up to the sun goddess.
“I am extremely disappointed,” she said as if addressing a dog that had just peed in the house. “I did not think you capable of such…. such… destruction! Look around! Look what you’ve done!”
Pinkie Pie scanned the carnage. Nopony had been hurt, mostly, but the material damage was immense. Wedding cakes the size of elephants stood where beautiful and exotic trees once were. Three guards were still trying to remove the head of a prominent senator from the bell of a sousaphone. The Princess herself still had chunks of tender pineapple flesh stuck to her pearl-white fur.
“I…. I’m so sorry…. I just didn’t….”
“There is no excuse for what you have done” the Princess interjected. “I have been patient with you for some time, Pinkie Pie. I thought that Discord’s fascination with you was merely due to your charming demeanor. Now, however, I must only suspect that you are in his service. It was you that freed him. I have no other choice but to banish you. Henceforth, you will spend the rest of your mortal days on the m–”
“It was me” a voice called from behind the Princess. Everyone looked back to see the identity of the interloper. Luna Lovegood was standing in her ruffled school robes, holding the implement of destruction in her hand, her fingers curling around the wood in a familiar way.
“Y–you?” The Princess said, dumbfounded as she turned to face the human. “But– how? How did you escape?”
“Your guards all seem to have come down here. I just left”.
Princess Celestia shot an incriminating look at the acting Commander of the Guard, currently standing astride of Pinkie Pie. He looked away guiltily.
“But– what is that… thing?” She said, referring to the object in Luna’s hand.
“It’s a magic wand. Where I come from, wizards have to use these to do magic. It’s not magic itself, it only channels the magic of whomever is holding it”.
“But– that means….” she said, looking to Pinkie Pie. The non-unicorn simply shrugged back at the confused alicorn.
“I must have dropped it when I was kidnapped. She probably just found it somewhere”.
Princess Celestia closed her mouth, realizing that her jaw had been hanging, almost dislocated, for quite some time. She closed her eyes, trying to internalize just what went on here. Staying perfectly calm, she came up with a plan. Without warning, she suddenly called:
“Twilight Sparkle. Meet me in my office”.
The purple unicorn looked suddenly shocked that her mentor should want a word with her. Was she in trouble? Was Pinkie going to the moon? There was only one way to find out, she said to herself as she knocked on the ornate oaken door in the lower floor of the castle a few minutes later.
“Come in. Lock the door behind you”.
She followed the instructions. When she came in, the magnificent white pony was seated in the middle of the room, and motioned for her student to take a seat immediately next to her.
“What is it, Princess? Is this about Pinkie Pie?”
“No. This is something much more important, something I should have told you long ago”.
“Should I get my friends?”
“No. This is for your ears only. I wanted to say this in the library, but I felt that it would cause too much panic. You must swear that you will keep this to yourself.”
“I swear”.
“Good. Now, when I was telling you about the warp zones, I left out one crucial fact. I said that I did not know how to open or close one. I was lying. It is actually a very simple spell. The only problem is that it requires the two most powerful magical beings in the universe”.
“So, what is the problem? Can’t you and Princess L–Oh. Right. Sorry.”
“That is exactly our problem, my student. With Luna gone, another has become the second most powerful.”
Twilight thought about what the Princess had just told her for a second. She came to the grim realization at the same time that Celestia broke the dramatic pause.
“Discord”.
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i have been waiting for this crossover, you know
technically, Discord is number 1 in terms of power. (actually, not even technically.)
so, yeah...
2133798 Well, Luna and Celestia beat him before, i think it would be a sort of rating based upon who beat who.
2134126 Celestia AND Luna. Together. With the Elements of Harmony that they aren't connected to any longer. He's also very arrogant and lets his guard down often. If he didn't do this, and if it were a one-on-one battle, he could just snap his fingers and remove Celestia's horn and wings, or even *poof* her out of existence. In terms of who beat who, Celestia+Luna+EoH>Discord, but in terms of actual individual power, Discord>Celestia>normal!Luna (i.e. not NMM).
Holy crap, Celestia was legit going to banish Pinkie, one of the Elements of Harmony, to the moon?! What the heck?! Pinkie probably wouldn't be able to BREATHE on the freaking MOON! And assuming she could, how long would she have to stay there? Celestia, I am disappoint
.
Well, crap just got real.
4738902 It's not worth overthinking. The author is addicted to Idiot Balls.
... Really... Banishment, without giving her a chance to explain herself?
For a 1000 year old quazi-sun goddess,... Idiot Ball much?! Onwerds, To the next chapter!