Featured In8

More Stories3

  • T A Binding Symphony

    2nd Person fic as you (A human) are attractted to Octavia. Will you go all the way?
    4,905 words · 3,461 views  ·  179  ·  4
  • T The Magic of Strings

    Lyra has herself sent to the human world.
    3,276 words · 850 views  ·  46  ·  5
  • E The Flyer Within (Edited)

    Derpy, a skilled flyer!?!? Since when has she been able to keep up with Dash?
    1,588 words · 689 views  ·  26  ·  5

Blog Posts136

  • 16w, 2d
    Why Will Rarity and Spike Never Be A Canon Shipping?

    A short video on it.

    11 comments · 267 views
  • 26w, 5d
    Why Bronies are the Worst Thing Ever

    The title pretty much says it all. ;)

    Brony On My Friends~

    3 comments · 164 views
  • 31w, 1d
    I Love Maud <3

    6 comments · 111 views
  • 42w, 2d
    Hey Guys!

    This is mainly to let you guys know I am still kicking around. xD

    If you don't want to read a boring rant and just honest self realization, please don't read this and skip to my simple discussion question.

    I'd just like to say I apologize to those actually care. What can I say? My inability to get off my lazy ass and write has been dwindling day by day. Which is sad to be honest. I have two short stories that I'm almost done with and several other ideas kicking around. (Not including the stories I already posted, that sit there like a wart.)

    It seems to be that every time I start writing, I can't finish it? It's like my mind is blocking me from ever finishing anything. I think I need some sort of inspiration or some thing... I don't know to be honest with ya. I will figure out some thing that'll get me back into it eventually.

    Anyway I want to say that I am really loving this season of MLP. I have seen every episode at least twice now and I can't get enough of it... Who knows maybe these will help me get back into writing.

    I like to ask you guys.

    What is your favorite episode this season, and your favorite scene from it?

    I love the Power Ponies episode. I bust out laughing every time Fluttershy turns into her hulk form... It's just too beautiful.

    Brony On My Friends~

    8 comments · 146 views
  • 50w, 6d
    Friendship Is Manly

    I-I have no words for this... xD It's just funny and weird.

    6 comments · 131 views
  • ...
This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your country.

#1 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

Sorry about the long author's note. :twilightblush:

#2 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

heh, It's exactly like the comic version, but with the character's thoughts!

#3 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1886999 My sentiments exactly.

#4 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

Wait, did you actually:rainbowderp:


#5 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

Nice. :trollestia:

#6 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

I would have liked hoofbeat if it didn't contain so much lesbian, which is a shame because the artwork is awesome! At least cater for both preferences than just one, good way of crippling an audience! :ajbemused:

#7 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1886999>>1887011 Yeah it is with a few minor differences. Also if you catch the ending, it's a little different. :twilightsmile:

>>1887027>>1887041 Glad you guys approve. :rainbowkiss:

#8 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1887179 Yeah I can see your point. I still enjoyed it either way. :twilightsmile: If you want to add one of your own in this, you're more than welcome to. I'll be sure to give you credit for it. :pinkiehappy:

#9 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1887190 I haven't written in months.

#10 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1887199 Ah Yeah, I noticed. Well just a suggestion. :moustache:

#11 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

Nice twist at the end for why Shy-shy is doing this. :pinkiesmile:

#12 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh: dat ending

#13 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1887552>>1887234 Thank you. :twilightsmile: I am glad you enjoy the ending. :rainbowwild:

#14 · 94w, 1d ago · 2 · ·


>mild rape

>futa RD

>>yet, still liking/fav'ing/tracking...

>>>I didn't like this crap before ponies what is happening to me:rainbowderp:

#15 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh: Gotta read the comic now. XD

#16 · 94w, 1d ago · · ·

wow that was awesome dude another chapter? :twilightblush:

#17 · 94w, 16h ago · · ·

>>1889675 :rainbowlaugh: Dude I know the feeling. What have they done to us? :rainbowderp:

>>1890386 Oh yes you should. They recently let out 2nd one about month ago I think, so you don't have to wait for it. Like I did... :pinkiesad2: I will also be doing those eventually. :twilightsheepish:

>>1890477 Very, soon hopefully. I really like the next story, so I want it to be good. :moustache:

#18 · 94w, 15h ago · · ·

“I’m touching your breasts... aren’t I?”

^there i lost it xD :pinkiehappy:

#19 · 94w, 14h ago · · ·

Interesting. Commence read.

#20 · 94w, 5h ago · · ·

Release the nest chapter, damn!:rainbowlaugh::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::rainbowkiss:

#21 · 93w, 1d ago · · ·

if this is hoofbeats shouldent the names be "Twibright" and "Flustershy"?

#22 · 70w, 4d ago · · ·

I found several grammar problems that need fixing:

1: The first paragraph is past tense, but the rest is present tense. You're generally not supposed to change tenses.

2: Paragraph 5, "Sounds like Fluttershy has freaked herself out," The space should be after the end quotation marks, you have it before.

3: Paragraph 6, The first half of the sentence is past tense. Change 'was lowering' to 'lowers' to keep it to one tense.

4: Paragraph 6, "Uh, Fluttershy is everything-" Once again, you have the space before the end quotations as opposed to after.

5: Paragraph 8: "Ummmmm..." You put a space before and after the end quotation marks.

6: Paragraph 14, The first half of the sentence is past tense. I recommend changing it to, "while she stands there"

7: Paragraph 15, "Woops" is generally spelled "Whoops"

8: Paragraph 16, another space before the end quotation marks

9: Paragraph 18, you shifted back into past tense. Change "was walking and turning" to "walks and turns"

10: Paragraph 21: change "Ow, my foot!.." to "Ow! My foot..."

11: Paragraph 22: shifted into past tense. Change "was stopped" to "stops"

12: Paragraph 29: i believe "rob" is supposed to be "robe"

13: Paragraph 34: "isn't" makes "bust" a singular verb, but "are" makes it a plural. "Her bust" can't be singular and plural.

14: Paragraph 34: The word "it" should be between "placed" and "firmly"

15: Paragraph 35: "Involved and Overly Intricate Knots" book titles should be italicised or underlined, not in quotations

16: Paragraph 36: "Crotchless panties" correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't panties nothing but crotch? If so, wouldn't that make crotchless panties nothing?

17: Paragraph 36: Another space before the end quotation marks.

18: Paragraph 37: Add a "d" to "suppose" and put "is" before it.

19: Paragraph 40: "excitingly" should be "excitedly"

20: Paragraph 43: Use of past tense. "stared" should be "stares" and "threw" should be "throws"

21: Paragraph 44: "It's" is being used as possessive, and therefore should not have an apostraphe.

22: Prargraph 45: Use of past tense. "made" should be "makes."

23: Paragraph 57: change "Fluttershy" to "Fluttershy's."

24: Paragraph 59: change "pull" to "pulls."

25: Paragraph 60: space before end quotations.

26: Paragraph 85: "every pony" should be one word.

27: Paragraph 99: "built' should be "build up"

28: Paragraph 99: "throw" should be "through"

29: Paragraph 99: add "she brings" before "her hand"

30: Paragraph 106: Changeling Fluttershy pulls Twilight out of the house, and then they notice the real Fluttershy tied to the ceiling. Would that mean that Fluttershy is on top of the house?

31: Paragraph 106: How can Changeling Fluttershy's laugh reverberate through the house if they're outside?

32: Paragraph 107: change "Twilight" to "Twilight's"

33: Paragraph 107: establish that the changeling goes back into the house before saying "the changeling inside."


Lieutenant Benson of the Grammar Nazis

Comment posted by Volcash deleted at 4:44am on the 16th of June, 2013
#24 · 70w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2728645 Sorry, I missed one.

34: Author's note, "way" should be plural.

0 227849
Login or register to comment