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  • E Desert Spice

    (EqD Feature 1/12/14) Sequel to Tastes Like Heresy. Amber Spice, former Unicornian Royal Chef, travels through the Pegasopian Desert. Will she find danger? Love? The perfect recipe to get back in her kind's good graces?  · Bugsydor
    8,603 words · 311 views  ·  41  ·  0  · 

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  • E Desert Spice

    (EqD Feature 1/12/14) Sequel to Tastes Like Heresy. Amber Spice, former Unicornian Royal Chef, travels through the Pegasopian Desert. Will she find danger? Love? The perfect recipe to get back in her kind's good graces?
    8,603 words · 311 views  ·  41  ·  0
  • E Bugsydor's Cryogenic FicFrag Storage

    A miscellaneous pile of fanfic scraps that demanded writing down, but nothing more just yet.
    2,462 words · 519 views  ·  12  ·  2

Blog Posts12

  • Friday
    User Input

    Hey, wonderful people who think I can write! I finally figured out more-or-less what I wanted to have happen during the rest of the current chapter of Desert Spice that I'm working on. I'd be willing to get some input on something specific, though.

    At some point, Spicy is going to be telling some pegasus kids (is foal the appropriate gender-neutral term for a CMC-aged pony, or is that specifically for babies?) a story to calm them down and pass the time. You readers won't hear much more than a snippet of said story, as the "camera" will be cutting away for most of it because reasons. That said, you will be seeing a snippet or two, and the subject of the story she tells may impact events in the overall story somewhat.

    Here's where I'd like some input: What kind of story should Spicy be telling? Should she be telling them about how she got exiled from Unicornia? Should she tell them the story of how she got her cutie mark? Should she retell some old pony tales her parents used to tell her and her brother at night? Or perhaps she could tell them stories of the Dreaming Goddess Terra? Or maybe you have some other grand idea for her tales that I haven't written here?

    Whatever the case, feel free to chime in with an idea that sounds good to you. I'm not exactly going to let waiting for user input delay me from writing the rest of the stuff for the current chapter, the end of which will mark the end of act I, by the way.


    9 comments · 27 views
  • 4w, 3d
    Stealing Myself Away (Non-Pony Short Story)

    This may surprise some of you, but I do on occasion write things that aren't horsewords. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen from time to time. One of said times was last week.

    This here started out as the backstory for my social rogue gnome in a D&D 3.5 game being DMed by friend and fellow aspiring author Coffeebeans. The campaign is set in the world of a book he's currently writing, and he challenged me to write my rogue's backstory as a short story within the setting. He likes the result, and so do I, and so I'm posting a link to the GDoc here. It's about 1600 words long, so it's a quick read. Let me know what you think in the comments.

    Note: This isn't technically the story in its original form. I've had to file some serial numbers off of it (e.g. changing character races to generic fantasy equivalents) in order to avoid spoiling things for the book he's working on. It didn't lose too much in the transition, at least.

    So that's what I was doing last week. What I'm doing this week? More Desert Spice. :raritywink:

    5 comments · 22 views
  • 5w, 6d
    Updated Intro

    Showed Tastes Likes Heresy to a friend who's a good writer, and he liked it pretty well. He pointed out that my intro was problematic, though, and gave me some general tips.

    Accordingly, the first chapter has been improved and updated. It's better at grabbing attention, showing emotion, and giving a bigger hint at Spicy's personality. I like it.

    Go ahead and check it out, and let me know if you like the improvement. I may end up going through the whole fic, making improvements and maybe even doing heavy reorganizations, but not right now. I'm working on Desert Spice as my main project (it's not dead yet!), and I'm happy with what I'm writing right now. Life's been crazy, as it is wont to be, but I'm still here and I'm still writing.


    4 comments · 24 views
  • 24w, 2d
    Remind Me that Tempting Fate is Bad

    Ok. Anyone remember my last blogpost when I said Desert Spice should update soon? Well, soon is finally here. I've got the chapter completed, I just need to run it through my editors to make sure I didn't miss anything (and that I didn't do anything too stupid).

    As for why this took so much longer than expected, turns out finals season was starting up right as I finished that last epic-sized blogpost. Yeah. The apparent lull in school work was just the calm before the storm. It's officially summer now, so that shouldn't be anywhere near as much of an issue. Sure, I'm still looking for a job (on the off-chance any of you are both employers with entry-level positions open and live/work near Walnut Creek, CA, Hi!), but I should be able to work on writing, art, and all manner of things more consistently for a couple months.

    Assuming that I can get in touch with my editors today, I should have the new chapter of Desert Spice up sometime tonight after I finish coercing Fimfiction to format it correctly.


    2 comments · 52 views
  • 29w, 4d
    Bookplayer's 50 Headcanon Questions

    Ok, I'm back. I've been kinda bogged down the 2nd half of this semester by another college course starting up and coursework picking up in general, but stuff has calmed down a bit so I can get back in the saddle and write some horse words. For whomever was worried I'd died, Amber Spice still has plenty of adventures left in her before I let her live in peace.

    Now that that minor update is out of the way, I'd like to get to the meat of this blog post. GhostOfHeraclitus, the awesome writer behind Whom the Princesses Would Destroy, recently posted a blog post responding to Bookplayer's list of 50 questions about your headcanon. When I saw this I was enlightened a little and amused quite a bit. I also figured I'd answer these questions myself about my general headcanon. Let me know if you want me to do bits of this again with regards to Amber Spice's home AU.

    For those of you who don't want to read thousands of words about my headcanon, feel free to Ctrl+F TL;DR to take you to the bottom of the blog for news that's more relevant to Desert Spice.

    Warning: A number of links below lead to TVTropes pages. Don't click on them if you have anyplace important to be.

    The Princesses:

    1. How old are Celestia and Luna?

    I peg Celestia and Luna as having been born near the beginning of the classical period. Equestria had been recently minted a few years before Celestia's birth, and Luna was born a few years after her. They knew Star Swirl the Bearded, and were even among his students.

    2. How old is Cadance?

    Cadance is about the same age as Shining Armor. They went to High School together, after all. I figure since she's still growing, she can't be terribly old anyhow.

    3. Were Celestia and Luna always alicorns, or did they ascend?

    Celestia and Luna began their lives as Sunny Gleam and Moonlit Dream, respectively, an inseparable pair of earth pony sisters. Mooney's interest in astronomy led her to seek Star Swirl the Bearded's tutelage, and where one sister went the other would follow.

    As for their ascension, it likely involved the Tree of Harmony, a crisis that Sunny and Mooney had to bring the magic of their sisterly bond to the fore to overcome, and a healthy amount of meddling from Star Swirl. The sisters emerged from their ordeal in much the same shape as Cadance and Twilight would later: large horns and grand wings, but only with a little bit of height added to their formerly earth pony frames. Their cutie marks also changed a bit to what they currently are.

    Star Swirl, being the greatest authority on magic in his age, naturally learned the wrong lesson from this. Instead of acknowledging the new magic of sisterhood that Sunny Ray and Moonlit Dream had forged with the aid of the Tree of Harmony as what caused their ascension, Star Swirl worked under the assumption that the sisters had fulfilled their individual destinies in a way that pleased the forces of magic that governed their world. While he was technically correct, he'd missed the heart of the matter rather cleanly. It was under this regime of thought that he created his failed spell that Twilight would later fix in order to ascend to alicornhood.

    Sunny was renamed Celestia and Mooney took the name Luna around the time when they relieved the unicorns of their responsibility to control the sun and moon (much to the unicorns' relief. Those things were heavy!), and they were gradually given more and more responsibility for the unified pony government until they became the princesses over the three tribes, with each tribe having a division of government below them. This was the form of government that persisted until Discord's reign of Chaos hundreds of years later.

    4. Are Cadance and Twilight immortal?

    I like to think of them as immortal but not yet fully mature alicorns of the same nature as Celestia and Luna. As time goes on, I figure Twilight and Cadance will start to be shaped more and more like the two elder princesses and gain awesome ethereal manes. After all, Cadance had already demonstrated such physical changes between the season 2 finale's flashbacks and her current form.

    As for what brand of immortality everypony here has, I figure alicorns have elf+ type immortality. They grow and develop from juvenile to mature but are otherwise ageless. Also, they are highly resistant to physical and magical harm, but can still die if injured badly enough.

    5. Have there been other alicorns in the past?

    Not as far as I can tell. Animation gags don't count, even if one of them gave us our glorious muffin queen.

    6. How much authority do Celestia and Luna have in Equestria?

    I view the princesses to be benevolent dictators. That is to say, each princess could at any point rise up and rule Equestria with an iron hoof, and nopony would be able to stop her unless she was another of the princesses. After all, who's going to argue with somepony who could easily make your outsides your insides and vice-versa? Thankfully, no princess has any plans to do such a thing, nor is such a plan likely to develop. Do you have any idea how much trouble it is to micromanage an entire principality?

    Rather than control each aspect of Equestrian government personally, the princesses do as Jethro of old taught Moses: they delegate! They delegate most of the work of governing the land to four bodies: the militaristic Guard, the aristocratic Noble Council, the meritocratic Civil Service, and the democratic House of Representatives. The Guard, the Council, and the House are each drawn from one of the tribe's ancient traditions of government, while the Civil Service is mainly the invention of Celestia and Luna. Each of these branches of government furnishes the princesses with at least one adviser to assist the princesses with whatever decisions filter all the way up to the top. There's a bit more to it than that, but I figure that's enough detail to give you an idea of how that works in my head.

    7. Does Shining Armor rule The Crystal Empire along side of Cadance?

    Yes. I like to think of marriage as an equal partnership, so I see no reason why Shining Armor and Cadance shouldn't share the burden of running the Crystal Empire between themselves. They have different responsibilities within the empire relating to their individual areas of expertise, though. For example, Shining Armor is directly in charge of the empire's defense while Cadance orchestrates their diplomatic relations. This division of labor is informal, though, and they still advise one another within these separate domains.

    8. Other than Twilight, Luna, and Cadance, what relationships have been important to Celestia in her lifetime (students, close friends, lovers, family)?

    Celestia and Luna both loved their parents dearly, and were quite sad to see them go the way of all earth ponies when their time came. They got over it eventually, though, and since went on to have full and exciting lives.

    Celestia, in particular, has had a great many relationships. Most of her close friends have either been her personal students, teachers at her school, or ponies who have been able to hold down an advisership appointment long enough to establish a relationship with her. There have, on occasion, been ponies from outside of her usual circles who have become friends of hers or something more. There's even rumors that at one point some dashing rogue attempted to steal the jewels right out of her regalia, only for her to catch him. The rumor goes on to say that while he stole no gems that evening, he ended up stealing the heart of the Sun instead.

    Aside from such rumors, which I can neither confirm nor deny, Celestia has had a good number of husbands over the millennia. Nearly all of these marriages have been quite public, too, with the husband gaining the title of Prince. Her marriages have been happy, for the most part, though she has had marriages she'd rather not remember.

    The first child of each marriage typically gains a noble title and lands to pass down through his or her generations. Celestia refers to her progeny from great grandchild onward as her nieces and nephews, hence Prince Blueblood. She has a lot of nieces and nephews. Also, her children are never alicorns, though many exhibit some cross-breed traits (e.g. a unicorn with a build like Big Macintosh).

    Celestia keeps very good track of the lives and accomplishments of her descendants. There's actually a private wing in the Royal Palace dedicated to them. It helps that this wing is a lot bigger on the inside.

    As for Luna, she's always preferred to keep her private life as a pony and her public life as a princess separate. This hasn't stopped her from pursuing private relationships, though; she just does so in an unconventional way.

    You see, Princess Luna is so skilled at multitasking that she can be in multiple places at once. She can even be asleep while she's awake. She's also a skilled shapeshifter, and can take the form of any pony she can imagine for as long as she likes. She demonstrated these abilities when she came back as Nightmare Moon, and she retains those abilities now.

    In the time between ascending to the throne and her fall to the Nightmare, Luna took advantage of these abilities to keep a disguised portion of herself living amongst the populace at all times. Sometimes it would be a unicorn, sometimes a pegasus, sometimes an earth pony. She would live the life of a commoner while simultaneously performing her royal duties in one or more other bodies, and she'd experience everything at once. Sometimes, this piece of Luna would find love, marry, and have foals. These foals wouldn't often know that their mother moved the moon, but they often received special attention from the Princess of the night to comfort and teach them in their dreams.

    Speaking of teaching, Luna was the one who started the tradition of taking on personal students after Star Swirl the Bearded passed on. She always was the more studious of the two sisters. Celestia didn't start taking students of her own until Nightmare Moon's banishment.

    Ponies and Equestrian Culture:

    9. Are there still cultural differences between earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns, or is the culture homogeneous by the time shown in canon? Are there cultural stereotypes (positive or negative)?

    There are still plenty of cultural differences between the three tribes, and every tribe has stereotypes and jokes about the other two.

    Earth Pony Jokes:

    Why don't you ever take a pegasus fishing?

    He'll drink all your cider, eat all your worms, and then complain there isn't any cider to wash them down with.

    How is a unicorn like a thunderstorm?

    They're both really loud and flashy, you can't reason with them, and they make a huge mess out of anything they get involved in.

    Pegasus Jokes:

    What do you call a 500 pound earth pony?

    Anything you want! It's not like they can catch you.

    What do you call a flying egghead?

    A unicorn* with a catapult.

    *While the answer could also be a certain purple pony princess, nopony believes it to be in their best interest to poke fun at alicorns.

    Unicorn Jokes:

    How many earth ponies does it take to change a magelight gem?

    Twelve. Three to panic about it, five to officially draft a plan to procure a new gem, two to lose the ladder, one to blame a pegasus, and one to get a unicorn to change it for them.

    A pegasus flies into a bar. Then a tree. Then a wall...

    One wouldn't repeat these jokes in polite company, and certainly wouldn't repeat them in a major metropolitan area like Manehattan or Baltimare. After all, what would the princesses think of their little ponies mocking each other? Naturally, this doesn't stop these kinds of jokes from flowing freely among friends and family.

    All jokes aside, I do see the three tribes of ponies being fundamentally culturally different. For starters, the pegasi value emotion, passion, honor, athletic skill, and martial glory. That's not to say these values are entirely absent from non-pegasi, but they're more pronounced among pegasi or those raised by pegasi. An obvious example of ponies that would be celebrated by pegasus culture is the Wonderbolts, though I'd be remiss to not mention the great pegasus opera writer, Piercing Song. Her tales of love, loyalty, and betrayal set in Old Pegasopolis seldom leave a single dry eye in the audience.

    The earth ponies are, by and large, a more practical lot. A good earth pony is shrewd, strong, stalwart, and otherwise immovable. When mules want to say something's really stubborn, they compare it to an earth pony. Earth ponies see themselves as blessed with an overabundance of common sense and realism, and there is an element of truth to that. Earth pony intuition is valued by all who know them because it's naturally enhanced by earth pony magic, and this magically enhanced intuition lends earth ponies a sense of self-assuredness that few other ponies can compete with. However, many take this otherwise well-earned self-assuredness and apply it to areas where their magic can't help them. This can lead to unexpected results. You can trust an earth pony to jump to conclusions, and as long as it has something to do with their special talent, things that grow, or something to do with the earth, you can trust that conclusion with your life.

    Earth pony culture values a few different archetypes. It likes clever ponies who invent things and outwit opponents. It likes strong ponies with the strength of spirit to do the right thing no matter how much they must sacrifice. Above all, earth pony culture reveres those who achieve greatness without forgetting their roots. In this light, Twilight actually makes a better hero for an earth pony than she does for a unicorn.

    I see unicorn culture having a couple of main sides or branches: social noble branch and the academic arcane branch. While she's a shining example of an arcane unicorn, I don't think Purple Smart fits in very well with the social side of unicorn culture. Rarity once said that "A unicorn is not a unicorn without grace and beauty." Twilight is at least a little beautiful by unicorn standards, but she has all the grace of a grizzly bear drunk on two-and-a-half kegs of honeyjack. I mean, have you seen her dance? (Full disclosure: Twilight Sparkle is my favorite pony.)

    Rarity is a far better example of the noble unicorn, which has been the dominant branch of unicorn society for a good while. That balance of influence may shift significantly now that Miss Sparkle has ascended to a throne. I wonder how different Rarity's ambitions in life would be if there was a council of Graybeards instead of a council of nobles? Oh dangit, please don't make me create yet another alternate universe fic. Then I'd get even fewer things done than usual!

    Anyhow, you can basically characterize the divide in unicorn culture as a clash between strong-willed charismatic sorcerers, and brilliantly intelligent wizards. Any way you slice it, unicorns are the most removed from reality of any of the three tribes, living out their lives in elaborate fantasies.

    10. Are there foods or items native to Cloudsdale that are uncommon on the ground? Are there foods or items on the ground that are uncommon in Cloudsdale?

    The most common things you will find in Cloudsdale are clouds and cloud accessories. Anything solid you see up there has to be kept enchanted to not fall through the city.

    Cheap, disposable items like quills, paper, and the like are just given low-level enchantments in bulk, but the enchantments on such light items should hold for a good while provided nopony tries to use them as cloudwalking shoes. The more weight an object exerts on clouds, the more mana the enchantment has to burn through, and the faster the enchantment will fail. Bigger objects, like tables, will have the enchantment in a gradient where it's stronger in the base than in the top. As a result, table-flipping is a lot more significant among cloud city pegasi than you'd expect. Also, you can tell you need to get the enchantment refreshed when the table starts sagging through the floor after a few years.

    If you want to keep something really nice in Cloudsdale and are willing to fork over a bit of extra dough, you can get an object imbued with a self-renewing enchantment that pulls magic from the surrounding environment in much the same way that ponies do passively.

    Most pieces of furniture in Cloudsdale that don't need to hold up solid objects (aside from pegasi), along with its buildings, are made of clouds. That marble pillar? Magically compacted cloud. That bed? Also cloud. The comforter on top of the bed? Enchanted fabric shell stuffed with clouds. You don't find many items like that on the ground outside of pegasus hotel rooms, but you do find them on occasion. In some groundbound communities, for instance, pegasi have popularized the aforementioned cloud comforters. Apparently their blend of fluffiness and poor insulative properties makes them great for those hot summer nights when you want to snuggle into something but don't want to overheat.

    As for what pegasi in Cloudsdale typically eat? I figure it's a bit different from most equestrian cuisine in that pegasi have better access to the treetops than the other two tribes of pony have. Accordingly, they've historically been more browsers and fruit-munchers than grazers. Because of the much lower cellulose content in their diets, eating too many hayburgers makes pegasi way gassier than the next pony. A pegasus foodie, though, will talk your ears off about the awesomeness that is the maple leaf.

    Another pegasus delicacy is the sheared cloud cone. They take some cloud, form it into a ball, and steep it in something that smells delicious. Then they devour the fragrant zero calorie snack. No matter what a pegasus says about it, though, it isn't worth going through the trouble of getting your mouth enchanted just so you can eat one.

    11. Can all unicorns learn all spells, given the time and effort spent practicing them, or is magical talent usually limited in some way?

    All unicorns can technically learn all spells, with enough study. They may not have enough mana in their font to cast a big spell on their own, but they can form it in their minds and may cast it if they can channel a large enough mana source. Every unicorn learns at least a few spells or cantrips outside of their special talent, such as levitation and hornlight.

    As for spells related to their special talents, unicorns get easier access to certain kinds of spells similar to how an earth pony's intuition helps the earth pony predict how something will play out. However, it only really helps a unicorn with a specific area of spellcraft. They'll get some spells spontaneously, part and parcel, like how Rarity suddenly learned her gem-finding spell. This intuitive magic also gives them help learning spells similar to their innate spell, and in modifying said spell. It lets a unicorn see and feel how the parts of that kind of spell fit together like how Applejack knows how to buck a tree and make apples fall precisely into the buckets. Twilight Sparkle is a bit of a special case, in that she has a special talent for magic in general so she gets an intuitive boost on understanding just about whatever kind of spell she's trying to put together. Learning any spell is a lot easier for her than it would be for the next unicorn.

    12. Earth pony magic: Does it exist? What is it?

    It totally exists, and it takes a couple of forms. Generally speaking, rather than telling physics to shut up, sit in a corner, and cry for a while like unicorn magic is wont to, earth pony magic tends to work alongside normal physics and only gently bends the laws of nature.

    There's the earth pony intuition I mentioned earlier, for one thing. Earth ponies just know some things, depending on their special talent. Some may know just how to buck a tree to make apples fall as desired. Others may know the safe spots to walk in order to avoid causing a rock slide. Some can tell how to put together a building so that the supports are evenly stressed and it won't collapse under its own weight. Others can tell when something is going to fall from the sky nearby soon, but not know consciously exactly what will fall where or when. Usually this is related to a pony's special talent, but oftentimes earth ponies are blessed with intuitive insight that goes beyond what you'd normally expect them to be good at.

    Earth pony strength, endurance, constitution, dexterity, and durability are also magically enhanced. Their magic helps them stick to things (and to themselves), which gives rise to their durability and their enhanced magical magnet hooves ability. Earth ponies also have more prehensile tails than the next pony, but that's more to do with how their tails have a longer tailbone than unicorns and pegasi have.

    The most mysterious and mystical magic earth ponies have access to is life magic, or biomancy. Earth ponies can, to varying degrees, push a bit of life and energy into nearby entities. Conversely, they can also draw in life and energy in much the same way. Typically, this translates into putting a bit more vigor into one's crops or draining the strength of weeds, as plants are the easiest to work this magic with. You'll also find earth pony medics and doctors who do this to stabilize or heal a patient. It's far easier to give than to take this life energy, as life forms tend to be rather attached to their life force. Often, though, life forms will be willing to lend an earth pony their surplus energy.

    It is possible for an earth pony to drain another life form dry against its will, but it takes a significant amount of malice on the earth pony's part and a strong will. This gives the earth pony a strong boost in life energy, but it makes the drained party lose color and strength until they become gray and crumble to dust. The very idea of doing such a thing to any life form, plant or animal, is enough to make many ponies uneasy. Doing so to any small animal more complex than a bug or a spider is seen as worse and more offensive than torturing rats with a hacksaw. A child caught doing that is going to receive a very stern and deep talking to from their parents about why that's wrong, and everypony who knows what the child did will watch them carefully to make sure they don't continue down that dark path. If an earth pony were to drain another sapient creature to death, such as a pony or a cow, that would be the worst sort of crime one could commit. That's the sort of crime that gets you executed or permanently petrified and your name blotted out from every record.

    It's also possible for an earth pony to give life to the deceased to reanimate them. This cannot truly revive a dead pony, however, as the dead pony's spirit has been severed from its body and this form of magic can't bind the spirit back to it. Instead, this creates a sort of life force-powered zombie controlled by the pony to whom its animating life force belongs. The reanimated creature is devoid of intelligence beyond instinct. Ironically, this means that a zombie spider would be completely indistinguishable from a truly living spider, aside from the fact that it's far more suggestible. Note: While reanimating corpses isn't technically a crime in Equestria, it's still extremely disrespectful to do so against the will of the formerly living party (or their next of kin, if consent could not be gained before death). Also, reanimating corpses takes a lot of life force, so knowledgeable ponies will start to wonder where you're getting it all from if you're fielding a large army of zombies.

    13. Some pony families we’ve seen seem to have naming conventions (the Apples, Twilight’s family) and others don’t appear to (Rarity’s family, Pinkie’s family), which is more common? Are there reasons for one or the other?

    Naming conventions haven't ever been properly standardized in Equestria, but there are a few traditions relating to names. Most of these are some variety of theme naming, looser or stricter.

    With earth ponies like the Apple clan that have strong family ties, every pony has an apple name, usually with apple in the name. Applejack, Applebloom, Macintosh Apple, and the like. The cakes are also a good example of this. As for how Cup Cake and Carrot Cake have similar names, my guess is that one or both changed their names upon marriage so that their household would have one name to be called by.

    With unicorns like Twilight Sparkle's family, they employ loose, more abstract themes for their names. For instance, the names Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor both have to do with reflecting light.

    Note: according to my headcanon, Rarity's full name is Rarity Belle and her family is the Belles. They follow that naming convention because her family has lived in the primarily earth pony village of Ponyville for generations. Rarity doesn't necessarily approve of this situation.

    Pegasi have little-to-no theming and primarily focus on what kind of name sounds cool. I see their family bonds as being the weakest of any of the three tribes, so that fits there. Besides, who but a pegasus would name their kid Dude?

    14. How much formal schooling is an average, middle class pony expected to complete?

    In my mind, ponies are expected to stay in school until they are about 16, at which point they either take an apprenticeship based on their special talent or desired vocation, or they continue to attend schools to receive degrees and certifications.

    15. What’s the average lifespan for a pony? At what age is a pony expected to be independent of their parents?

    For simplicity's sake, I assume ponies to grow and develop into adults at about the same rate as humans do, so ponies are expected to take on adult responsibilities somewhere between 18-21 years old.

    As for life spans, it tickles me to imagine that Granny Smith is about three hundred and twenty years old, and has about thirty more years left in her. It would make Twilight's comment about Ponyville wrapping up winter the earth pony way for hundreds of years square with the fact that Granny Smith helped found the place. This view may be contradicted by "Apple Family Reunion," but I'd have to check to see if they mentioned any dates on those first few get-togethers.

    Provided the above is not disproved, I'd say that earth ponies are the longest lived of the mortal tribes, followed by unicorns and then pegasi. It wouldn't be a super huge gap, and differing levels of fitness do have a significant impact on life expectancy as well.

    Unfortunately, as Applejack and Big Macintosh can attest, too many ponies are cut down in their prime by the dangerous world. Between hydras, chimeras, fire swamps, and ancient evils returning, it's not nearly as common to die of old age as it is on Earth. Accordingly, the venerable are often cherished and respected by those wiser than Diamond Tiara.

    16. Are there roughly an equal number of male and female ponies?

    Yes, the ratio is roughly equal. The reason we see more mares than stallions in the show is because this is a show created, ostensibly, for little girls. Accordingly, the gender ratio that makes it onto the screen is skewed so girls can watch female ponies more.

    I view this in a similar light to how I don't think their hammers and other tools really look like they were designed for human hands like the ones in the show do.

    17. How informed are most ponies about things that happen in other parts of Equestria? What about other parts of the world?

    Ponies have newspapers and a good degree of literacy. They also have black and white film and reel to reel projectors. Aside from Chrysalis's scrying orb in the pony comic or Spike's fax machine breath, though, I haven't noticed any telecommunications equipment in the magical land of Equestria. It seems the fastest means of long distance communication available to your average pony is a pegasus courier, so I imagine detailed information takes a while to travel.

    As a result, while everypony is aware that the bearers of the elements of harmony vanquished Nightmare Moon and brought back Princess Luna, relatively few know what the bearers actually look like.

    Most places outside of Equestria are even less well-connected, with the notable exceptions of Greifland and the Dragon Lands. Dragons have their dragonfire faxing for nearly instant communications, while gryphon couriers are purported to rival (or even surpass, depending on your sources) the speed of pegasus couriers.

    The Main Characters:

    18. How old are the Mane Six? Spike? The CMC?

    According to the show writers who attended BABScon (BABScon was awesome, by the way), spike is definitely a child. Personally, I'd cast him as about 12-15 years old, though I'm perfectly fine with people who view him to be older than that in order to make shipping him with Rarity less squicktacular.

    I forget exactly what the writers said about the Mane Six, but I think they are all in their early twenties at this point.

    As for the CMC, I view them to be a little bit younger than spike, around 10-13 years old.

    Note: I view each season of the show to take about a year. This perception is subject to change pending further canon revelations, however.

    19. Did Fluttershy remain on the ground after getting her cutie mark? Were she and Rainbow Dash friends all along, or did they drift apart for a while?

    Fluttershy, upon getting her cutie mark, promptly abandoned the clouds she once called home in order to pursue an apprenticeship with a veterinarian.

    After the thrill of victory and getting her cutie mark wore off a little, Rainbow Dash noticed that her friend Fluttershy wasn't there celebrating with her. At first she assumed that Fluttershy had gone back to her room early, but the next day she realized that Fluttershy was legitimately missing. After panicking and speeding around the countryside, Dash finally found Fluttershy in the village of Ponyville learning how to tend to animals. Dash was a little surprised Fluttershy didn't want to leave, but respected Fluttershy's wishes and let her stay. After all, a pegasus youth striking out on their own to pursue their dreams is hardly unheard of.

    Fluttershy's parents didn't find out about all this until after flight camp concluded and Rainbow Dash returned home to cloudsdale without her. They were actually rather cold and indifferent about it. Fluttershy's parents were more concerned with the fact that they didn't have to take care of Fluttershy anymore than with the fact that Fluttershy effectively ran away from home. This lack of loyalty and care for their daughter disgusted Rainbow Dash, but it wasn't unheard of either among the pegasi.

    Rainbow would visit Fluttershy often as they grew up, and their friendship remained strong throughout the years. Eventually a weather team job came open in Ponyville, and Rainbow snapped up the position and moved to be closer to her best friend.

    20. Rarity and Applejack both seem to have grown up in Ponyville. What were their interactions like before the show?

    Relations between Rarity and Applejack were pretty-much nonexistent before the events of the show. They tolerated each other's presence if they happened to be in the same room, but Applejack was just another country bumpkin and Rarity was just another high society wannabe.

    21. What do Twilight and Spike consider their relationship to be?

    Twilight is Spike's cool older sister, and Spike is her adorable and helpful younger brother. Celestia has been a mother figure for each of them, and Twilight and Spike are close with Twi's biological family as well.

    22. When did Pinkie move in with the Cakes? Is she a worker who rents a room, an apprentice, or is there some other relationship?

    Pinkie is officially an apprentice baker, but she's practically part of the cake family.

    23. Who among the Mane Six had the best parents growing up? The worst parents?

    Either Twilight or Rarity had the best parents growing up. Both sets were highly supportive of their daughters' passions, but Rarity's parents make her uncomfortable with how country they are compared to how cultured she views herself to be.

    Fluttershy, as mentioned above, had the worst parents. Bar none. They didn't really know what to do with her, and ignored her once they were done caring for her basic survival needs. They utterly failed to support her in her pursuits and tried, vaguely, to mold her into a standard pegasus.

    Apple Jack's parents get an honorable mention. I reckon they must have been pretty awesome before they kicked the bucket.

    24. Why didn’t the CMC hang out more/know each other before Call of the Cutie?

    Sweetie Belle and Applebloom's sisters ignored each other's existence until Nightmare Moon's return, and Scootaloo wasn't Rainbow's honorary sister until "Sleepless in Ponyville," so they didn't have much reason to know of each other. Come to think of it, when did we even learn Sweetie Belle was Rarity's sister?

    I also blame it on being in class at different times of the day.

    25. Is Scootaloo an orphan? Will she ever be able to fly?

    I don't think Scoots is an orphan, seeing as she had some kind of house in "Flight to the Finish." Speaking of said episode, it's unclear whether Scootaloo will ever do more than hover. My guess is she's never going to really fly, but she won't let that stop her from being awesome anyhow.

    26. Will Apple Bloom’s cutie mark involve an apple in some way, even if it’s unrelated to farming or baking?

    It'll probably involve something apple-shaped. Maybe a metal apple with a bolt-shaped bite taken out of it?

    27. How is Sweetie Belle’s relationship with their parents different than Rarity’s was?

    Rarity sees her parents as hicks. Lovable but embarrassing hicks who remind her that if she's going to be the pony everypony should know, she's going to need to earn that recognition for herself in its entirety.

    Sweetie Belle is the kinda spoiled-sweet baby of the family, and she enjoys every minute of it. Family relationships are a bit more important to her than they are to Rarity.

    Side and Background Characters:

    28. Is Mr. Cake the father of the Cake twins or not?

    Mr. Cake is the father of the cake twins. It might be a teensy bit more complicated than his explanation, but I can believe that unicorn and pegasus genes are recessive and passed on.

    29. Are Big Mac and Cheerilee an item, romantically?


    30. How did Prince Blueblood get his title?

    As mentioned above, he is one of Celestia's "nephews" (read: grand-to-the-nth son of Celestia). Specifically, he's from one of the branches that has managed to retain the title of prince rather than be reduced to one of the lesser noble titles. And yes, his blood is blue. Why do you ask?

    31. Is Silver Spoon equally as bad as Diamond Tiara?

    I view Silver Spoon to be not as bad as Diamond Tiara. She's mostly just following along, and may just abandon ship if Diamond Tiara is ever about to do something too heinous. She's been a friend of DT's since before they started bullying ponies, and never quite felt the need to cut her off. That said, she isn't always without remorse when she follows her lead.

    32. Is Zecora’s magic common among zebras?

    I wouldn't say Zecora's flashier magic is super common, but there are at least a few zebra shamans like Zecora in every zebra village who have a knack for brewing potions or who can magically unspill their drinks.

    Most zebra magic, the kind that just about every zebra is able to express, is the magic of order and balance. It manifests everywhere, from their philosophies, to their martial arts, to their visual and performing arts, to their economy and their diplomacy. It is related to, but distinct from, Equestria's central tenet of harmony, by the way.

    What this means is that their magic interacts with the universe in a fundamentally different fashion from most active Equestrian magic. Equestrian magic, by and large, is based on imposing one's will on reality and daring it to say otherwise. The cloud starts raining because the pegasus on top of it is depressed. The gigantic ursa minor floats gently away from the village because some unicorn thought that would be a wonderful idea, and physics didn't quite feel up to arguing with her. The improbable bumper crop of apples exists because the earth pony willed a portion of her life force to leave her and empower the trees of her orchard. The beverage unspills itself from the chaotic puddle to the orderly cup... because the zebra knows where to push.

    Rather than creating something out of sheer force of will, zebra magic has more to do with finding or adjusting the balance of existing things. Balancing the ingredients for alchemy, balancing mathemagical equations (it was zebra scholars who brought algebra to Equestria), shifting around the entropy in a system, making it impossible for a foe to not fall flat on their face... There are a lot of places zebras go with this magic of theirs.

    33. Why does Daring Do publish her stories as fiction?

    Money, dear boy...

    You see, there just isn't much money in putting artifacts in a museum, and Daring Do isn't about to sell dangerous magical items on Equestria's black market. Daring Do is still quite intent on eating, though. Holding down a steady nine-to-five job is out of the question for her, since she could be called upon at any moment to chase down Ahuizotl or some other dastardly ne'er-do-well before they can snatch up the McGuffin of World Domination. Meanwhile, she's a pegasus who loves to tell a story, and she keeps finding herself in circumstances that grant her stories to tell.

    It also helps that this choice of careers doesn't let her degree in ancient history with a minor in Equish go to waste.

    As for why Daring Do doesn't just publish her stories as memoirs or autobiographies, there are a couple of reasons for that. For one thing, those things don't sell nearly as well among ponies as adventure novels do. For another, publishing her stories as fiction allows her to take more artistic liberties with what actually happened.

    34. Do you have a strong headcanon for any non-speaking or one line background ponies that you want to share?

    Ditzy Doo and Derpy Hooves are twin sisters who look alike, except for their eyes. I wrote a little short story and put it in what is now my cryogenic ficfrag storage. It's not long, and it's probably worth a read from what I hear.

    Other Species:

    35. Does Equestria differentiate between speaking and non-speaking species, in terms of respect, rights and legal responsibilities? Is there some other line or scale used? (For example, how are cows classified? Diamond Dogs? A chimera?)

    If a creature is not sapient enough to talk or similarly communicate complex thoughts by adulthood, you are classified as an animal and treated as such. Animals have no rights, and may be dealt with as you please. Being downright cruel to animals is frowned upon, though, and particularly cruel practices such as dogfighting are illegal.

    If a creature is sapient enough to properly communicate, then it has all of the rights and dignity that every sapient creature deserves. No sapient creature may be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law.

    As for the cows on Applejack's farm, cows very much like to live together in close herds, so it's a common practice for them to live on somepony's farm. In exchange for room and board, the cows give their pony landlords whatever milk they produce and spend at least some of their time doing work around the farm. The exact terms are laid out in a group contract that every adult cow signs on to. The cows can leave anytime they want, but they don't like to be away from home for long. Cows do have varied hobbies and professions they do when they're not working for their landlords.

    36. Do other speaking species form their own nations, or are all nations largely integrated, with some having larger populations of a species than others?

    Judging by the xenophobia and ignorance about other creatures expressed in "Bridle Gossip," Griffon the Brush off," "Putting Your Hoof Down," "Dragon Quest," "Over a Barrel," and a number of other episodes, I believe it's safe to say that most sapient non-ponies hail from outside Equestria. You'll find a better mix of races in a metropolis like Manehattan than you would in a village like Ponyville. You might even find enclaves of extra-Equestrian cultures in some big cities. Cloudsdale's Kleine Greifland (or Little Gryphony, as most ponies call it) is an amazing fusion of pegasus and griffon architecture, cuisine, and culture, and it's where Gilda comes from.

    Occasionally a family or two of non-pony sapient creatures will move into an Equestrian village for work, out of political differences, or to get away from the big Equestrian city they were just living in before. It's a bit harder integrating yourself into a small Equestrian town, as these tight-knit communities are more suspicious of outsiders, and this suspicion goes double for non-ponies. It is doable with persistence, though, and the ponies of the town will treat you as one of their own once you make it "in."

    Ponies and other races have been known to move to foreign lands such as Greifland or Minos in much the same way other races sojourn or settle in Equestria. Ponies are generally less inclined to travel than most sapient races of the world, though, as they prefer to stick with other ponies when possible. If there's an Equestrian expatriate in a foreign land, chances are good they're a pegasus.

    37. Are minotaurs related to cows at all?

    Not as such. Cows were used as templates of sorts when Discord designed Minotaurs, though, if that counts. It was during his Greek phase, when he was filling the world with hydras, chimeras, orthri, gryphons, and the like. He'd have pegasi fight them in gladiatorial arenas, gleefully ignoring the fact that that was more of a Roman practice. To this day, the minotaurs have no special love for pegasi or other things that fly.

    Even after Discord was vanquished by Celestia and Luna, many of his creations remained. The minotaurs inherited the land of Minos, where they primarily live to this day. They are renowned architects. If you see malls, casinos, amusement parks, or anything that wants its occupants to stay amazed rather than find the exit, you can bet that it was designed by a minotaur or by someone who attended the Great University of Minos.

    As for gryphons? They built their aeries in the northern mountain ranges in what is now Greifland. They've historically looked down on most ponies, but pegasi have always occupied a special love/hate place in their hearts. Pegasi are the only tribe of ponies to have a culture of honor and martial glory that can compare with that of the gryphons, and each of the two races has always professed to be faster, more skillful flyers than the other. Gryphons and pegasi nowadays tend to see each other as friendly rivals.

    38. Do all zebras rhyme?

    Not all Zebras rhyme, just the important ones. Like middle eastern cultures of our world, zebras prize the ability to spontaneously come up with poetry and verse. Being able to rhyme on a dime is the mark of being a cultured zebra. Speaking in verse does take a certain kind of balance, after all. If you can rhyme or speak in verse in other languages, so much the better! Zecora is a master of this craft, and is pretty-much the zebra equivalent of Fancy Pants. She could have been a diplomat, but she prefers to study the Everfree and interact with the little ponies of Ponyville.

    39. Do zebra cutie marks work the same way as pony cutie marks?

    They don't work exactly the same, but they're similar enough to take up the same slot in government paperwork.

    40. Do any species have types of magic, other than ponies and zebras?

    Yes. The most obvious are the dragons. Spike, for instance, has magical dragonfire that can be used as a fax machine. They have various and sundry other magics as well. A dragon's magic is concentrated primarily in their claws, wings, and breath. If a dragon mage wants to work their magic on something in a nondestructive manner, they'll probably breathe some variety of their fire on it. Armor that has been enchanted by dragonfire is highly sought after, as it's often highly resilient and will typically last a pony family for many generations without losing enchantment strength or structural integrity. Due to ponies having very little to do with dragons as a rule, such dragonfire-enchanted items are hard to come by.

    Gryphon magic is similar to pegasus magic in that they have flight and flight utility abilities (like cloudwalking). However, aside from being able to move clouds, gryphons can't do much to influence the weather. Instead, it is the Greiflander way to weather the storm. Rather than remove inclement weather, a skilled gryphon will ride it.

    Many other races in Equestria and the world beyond are magical to some degree. If it's sapient, chances are good at least some members of its race can use magic in some way. And that's not even counting the non-sapient magical creatures, such as the cockatrice.

    41. Is the lack of buffalo presence in Equestria cultural, or simply because most pony towns aren’t built to accommodate a full grown buffalo?

    Buffalo just don't mesh with Equestrian culture. For one thing, there's the whole notion of private property that Equestrians are so attached to. They see how a tribe or a group can "own" something, but don't get the concept of "not meant to be shared." Then again, they do get pretty upset when you get in the way of their stampeding grounds and will demand that you let them use said grounds at any cost.

    Headcanon and You:

    42. Do you consider official sources other than the show (comics, card game text, movies, novels, etc.) to be canon?

    I view all official sources to be canon, but I view their canonicity in tiers. If there's ever a conflict, the most recent episode of the show or one of the movies is the most canon. Then there's the novels, then the comics, then card text and other such things.

    43. Do you have one headcanon that you always use, or do you switch depending on projects?

    I have a main headcanon that I use for the show in general, and then I have offshoot headcanons I use for alternate universes. I've got a few of those brewing in my mind at any given time. They are typically the same, though, except for a couple changes and their consequences.

    44. Can you easily accept the headcanons of different writers? Do you prefer when stories match your headcanon?

    I have fairly varied tastes in writers, so I have to accept a wide variety of headcanons. I really don't mind, though, as I love exploring different twists people put on familiar things.

    I must say, though, that it amuses me deeply when some writer puts something into a fic that agrees with one of the more obscure bits of my headcanon.

    45. Is there a part of your headcanon that you wish was more popular among writers?

    I wish crossbreed traits were more common in fimfiction. Most people I see have the racial divide between the three tribes very distinct. If you're a pegasus, you are 100% pegasus. Even if both your parents are earth ponies. I'm ok with this in general, as it helps keep people from making every pony a super special snowflake sue, but I feel this practice is limiting.

    Also, pegasus preening is something I wish I could see more often. They have wings, and probably get feathers out of place often enough. Some people see preening as a private thing, but it doesn't have to be. It could, for example, be an effective way for a pegasus to show you just how much he doesn't care about what you're trying to tell him. It could also be a communal grooming activity that mares do together, like girls will braid each other's hair. It's a fun potential pool of interactions to draw from that would make pegasi feel more real.

    46. Is there a popular piece of headcanon that other writers use that you dislike?

    This isn't quite a headcanon that I dislike, but it's a practice among some writers that I dislike. When an author has one of the characters in their stories say that X popular bit of fanon or canon is stupid and ridiculous and that people who believe that are likewise stupid and ridiculous. It smacks of a sense of superiority, and it's just mean-spirited to boot. Please don't be that guy.

    47. Have you ever written a story or blogpost just to explain some part of your headcanon (other than this one)?

    I actually started writing Tastes Like Heresy in order to establish what I think pony tools, weapons, and societies would look like. I've always assumed the hammers and such we see on the show are a sort of visual translation convention holding the place of the real Equestrian items.

    The stories have evolved to be about the characters and their world, but there is still that bit in there if you look for it.

    I've also got another fic in the early stages about Princess Twilight's alicorn nature and how magic works, but again it is in its early stages.

    48. Does your headcanon influence things like your favorite pony, ship, or episode?

    It doesn't really influence those that much (aside from my shipping Fluttershy with Bulk Biceps), but it does let me have a lot more fun joking around during episodes. I'll point to things and say "headcanon confirmed!" if it could possibly be related, and I'll explain how something that's going on works according to my headcanon, too.

    49. Would it bother you if the show proved part of your headcanon wrong? Any specific piece that would really bother you to lose?

    I would be a bit miffed initially, but it's practically expected and I'd get over it quickly. For example, I used to assume that the world Equestria was in was a flat disc, like Discworld. Then "Secret of My Excess' came out with round globes, smashing that piece of head canon to tiny bits. I got over it.

    50. Is there something that wasn't asked about here, but you feel like you need to explain to everyone?

    Crossbreed traits in ponies are, in my mind, a thing. I don't mean you should expect to see alicorns on every street corner, but I do think it can be interesting to blur the tribal lines a little. Maybe you have a unicorn born to pegasus parents, and she has a gift with weather magic. Perhaps you have a unicorn who's built like Big Macintosh and is a bit stronger than his unicorn peers. Or maybe you have a pegasus with earth ponies in her ancestry who doesn't like flying so much, preferring instead to stay near the ground and chat with the forest critters. It could happen!


    And now that I've proven that I can write this many words (about 8.8k for those keeping score) in just a couple weeks, I think it's about time I got you that next chapter of Desert Spice. That one just has a couple of conversations left in it, anyhow. I finally feel like I've gotten a good handle on Horizon's character and his projected character arc, too, so it shouldn't take me nearly as long to write him now. That stallion has some stories to tell, whether he likes it or not.

    You ought to be hearing from me again soon!

    Also, I am not apologizing if you clicked on one or more of the above TVTropes links, and will not be held responsible for any loss of productivity or loved ones. I warned you, after all!

    4 comments · 70 views
  • ...

(Featured on Equestria Daily 1/8/13)

I'm Amber Spice, and I was Royal Chef to his royal highness Lanthanum, King of Unicornia. Was.

Now I've somehow gotten myself banished from the land, perhaps forever. Now how did I manage that, you may ask? Let's look back and see. I can't exactly sleep, so this isn't a bad way to spend my last night here.

Turns out a little bit of soul-crushing boredom, a tenacious and chaotically creative mind, and a tangent to launch off of form a dangerous recipe together.

And the result tastes like heresy.

First Published
1st Jan 2013
Last Modified
12th Jan 2014

I love the way in which you've created this alternate-reality Equestria in which unicorns are the master race. :raritywink::twilightsmile:

I also look forward to seeing how the other races are portrayed. :pinkiesad2::fluttercry::ajbemused::rainbowhuh: (:moustache:?)

I want more. Please I am can have more please? I like your stuff.

And we have never met before, right? No we have not. Nope. Never. Not once. You have a good writer spleen, stranger.

I am liking this so far. Well written, reasonable conflict for the character to struggle against, likeable character so far, keep the creativity juices flowing and you'll have a winner I reckon :)

Fyi, Cardslafter posted a suggestion for this fic, so there may be an imminent influx of viewers :3

"Exile—What are you supposed to pack when you go into exile?" :duck:

Also, is this actually an alternate reality? Or is it just before the three tribes joined up?... You know what, nevermind, the "Alternate Universe" kinda answered it for me...

Anyways, I'm really intrigued now as to how she got herself banished, you must continue

Keep up the good work :)


Definitely an AU. The story actually takes place a few hundred years after the Hearth's Warming story would have taken place, except instead of all staking out the same piece of land each tribe picked a different place to settle.

Thank you sir for the comments and encouragement. You can probably expect another chapter in the next day or so once I get a small piece of art done for it. :twilightsmile:

Also, I am very grateful for the plug from Cards. That book he's writing is pretty awesome too.


Thank you sir, for the sweet Angry Marine pic.

And for the comment on my fic's interestingness. :twilightsmile:

Out of curiosity, what's the flash point of Alfalfa seed oil like compared to that if peanut oil? Higher? Lower? Significantly lower to the point that she's going to burn down the kitchen? Oh God, she knows nothing about putting out chip-pan fires... She's going to EXPLODE the kitchen.



Let's just say Amber Spice is in for a bit of disappointment in the not-so-distant future. Also, you might just be half-psychic.

Not telling you which half is the psychic one, though. :rainbowwild:

Huh. A fascinating alternate universe. I guess the pegasi were never able to get full control of the clouds.

While the flashback is entertaining, I'm really looking forward to Amber amongst the other tribes. Few things are more enjoyably hilarious than culture shock.


Sadly, that's not happening until the sequel. There will be plenty of culture shock living amongst the pegasus nomads then, though, and I'm really excited to write that. I think I've got their culture hashed out well enough to do some interesting and amusing things there. :raritywink:

This story has a few chapters left to go yet, and will end with Amber Spice being dragged off for banishment. The sequel will start with her being found and taken in by a nomadic pegasus herd.


Half psychic? I swear in Luna's name to use this power only for good.


Now you have to use your powers for good and kill Zecora!

(+1 to coolness if you get the reference.)

And then God said; Let there be 'To be continued' screens!

and there was much waiting, and gnashing of teeth.


Great story dear Sir~

Have a mustache!


and a Turnip as well.


Looking forward to the next chapter!


Coolness test failed

-2 coolness penalty

... no parents...

Now I've gone and made myself sad.


All feels aside, I looked at this in gdocs and fimfic and it looks fine in either mate. Why so positive gdocs is superior?

Very cool stuff, cant wait t'see moar!


There's a lot of formatting stuff in some of the GDocs. Namely, I have yet to figure out how to do proper bullet lists in Fimfiction. That, and I can't screw around with all of the indentation here. Because of the various and sundry issues trying to format stuff here involves, sometimes I just don't bother.

Really, it amounts to personal taste combined with obsessive perfectionism. :twilightblush:

Also, you'll see more in a few days. By that I mean it'll be less than a week before I post a new chapter. I really like the next chapter, by the way. :twilightsmile:

>>1911268 "But ah'm tiny and i'm gonna need you to be mah shovel swingin' hooves..."


Fillies and Gentlecolts, we have a winner!

as your prize, everyone got a new chapter today. :raritywink:

>>1926588 Yes, I watched the mentally advanced series for quite some time a while back.


On the subject of small pieces of art, did you have something in mind I could have a shot at?


So you're looking to draw something related to this? Thanks! Don't think I could say no. :raritystarry:

What kind of things are you used to drawing? Are you any good at drawing a rather fluffy (think about as fluffy as a maltese-breed dog) pony who's a bit shocked at having their coat and hair blown back and covered in soot from a greasefire-related explosion? You can PM me or comment here asking for her color palette if you're interested. No pressure if you don't feel like drawing it, though. I'd draw it myself, now that I've got the idea.

"When you get inspired and a fey mood besets you, you don't think; you do."

Amber Spice works furiously!


Amber Spice has claimed the kitchen.

Amber Spice has created a masterwork bread. It menaces with spikes of dough. On it is engraved an image of a pony and some bread. The pony is baking the bread.

Amber Spice is now a legendary baker!

But Pegasi are the best race...Not unicorns..



I know, right? I can hardly believe it myself!


We'll just have to disagree on that point. :P

I would like to point out, though, that just because the unicorns believe themselves to be inherently superior to the other tribes doesn't make it so. :unsuresweetie: Don't worry, the pegasi will get their chance to shine in the sequel. :rainbowdetermined2:

>>1928468 The craftsponyship is of the highest quality.

"You know science, right?"


Awesome chapter but uh... " teat kitchen"? thinking you meant "test" but Y'know I don't judge :trollestia:


I'm gonna go fix that now. Stupid qwerty keyboards...

Know? I am science. :rainbowdetermined2:

And everyone knows it isn't science if nothing exploded.

Eurgh, that picture's awful, where in Tartarus did you get that thing? :rainbowwild:


Idunno, really. I think I got some bum off the street to draw it for me in some kind of crayons... :derpytongue2:

Silliness aside, thanks for the art.

That is the sound of very hot grease hitching a ride on a rapidly expanding steam cloud. While on fire. In a flash, a brilliant plume of golden flame erupted from my sauce pan and bloomed outward. It would have been quite pretty, really, except that I was standing too close to really appreciate it. It didn't help that this was me and my kitchen being engulfed in flames, either.

I was wondering how quickly it would take Amber Spice to create a BLEVE in the kitchen with her new found frying recipes.

Making that kind of fire in the lab that would be dangerous to throw water on isn't actually all that rare in the labs, so we keep some buckets on hoof that are filled with something a little less volatile: sand!

Good thing they have not discovered the really nasty stuff that will burn sand, brick, and asbestos :pinkiecrazy:

Love the story so far!

Keep up the good work.


Ah, a fellow chemistry geek and (possibly) cooking enthusiast! There needs to be more people who just want to watch the world burn in a coffee cup calorimeter.

While I am acquainted with ClF3, I'm glad to say that I haven't worked with the stuff. Stuff was too hardcore for the nazis to use as flamethrower oxidizer. If I recall correctly, the best safety equipment you can use with it is a good pair of running shoes...

ahhh, greese fires.

those bring back the most wonderful memories of cooking classes when i was lil....

how i made a greese fire when cooking carrot cake, i'll never know. :ajsmug: :trollestia:

heh heh

Great ch Bugsydor!:raritystarry:

keep 'em coming! :twilightsmile::moustache:


That's ok, Amber Spice, it happens to all of us. The first time I tried to make pasta, it caught on fire.


Well you are half way correct; I love cooking (and brewing too - it's cooking dang it!), but my current employment is about as far away from (direct) chemistry as you can get without getting into Liberal Arts. Nevertheless, I do enjoy humorous anecdotes and tales about cryogenic fluorine superoxidisers and liquid rocket fuels.

Back on topic

One minor critique; I found the onomatopoeia and narrative action words difficult to parse without punctuation.

Two examples from chapter 5:

"Really though," snrk "we've actually got something here that should help with that.





I guess it just comes down to personal preference since Chicago and MLA do not mention anything about onomatopoeia. (At least I do not think they do. It has been a while since I have had to crack their covers). IMHO those phrases, especially the in-line ones like above, need something (italics, *punctuation*, etc...) to differentiate it from the rest of the narration and preserve the flow of thought.


Yeah, it's been on my mind as well. :applejackunsure:

Originally I was going to have those things put in a slightly different font, but then I realized Fimfiction couldn't do that... Wouldn't stop me from doing that in the GDocs version, though.

Then I thought of putting the onomatopoeia in italics, but then I realized that I was already using those for Spicy's thoughts and for general emphasis. Then I thought of putting them in bold, but then I realized that that looked dumb. Underlining is right out.

Maybe if I put them in a different font on GDocs and put them between pairs of asterisks on Fimfiction like so:


The grease flying everywhere reminds me of one of my first stints in the kitchen. My friend never did forgive me for that shot to the face. Anyway, it's nice reading your new chapters instead of stuff I read in google docs. As I've said before, I kinda like this alternate universe idea you have going on. It's original and is actually plausible unlike some of the ones that end up going far out there.

Also, everypony loves me!

It's like he knows....:derpyderp2:


Well, you haven't seen the last of him, either. Here's hoping he's still lovable in the coming chapter!


Nah, the EXTRA EXTRA HERESY is saved up for the subsequent chapters. And the EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA HERESY will be in the sequel.

Glad to get a comment from the Commissar himself.

Definitely liking the story so far!

Now if only something having to do with 'Heresy' would happen, my viewing life would be complete!


Ok, finally got around to fixing all the onomatopoeia to be consistent. I'll be uploading a new chapter tomorrow, too.

Darling, you do whatever you think needs doing. This is your story, and you should never feel bad about taking the extra time to improve.

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