Can I kill Rainbow Dash, please?

wow I like the story and the way you keep the "accident" secret. but I think a little spaces between dialog wouldn't be hurt..

>>137873137873

Thanks for the tip!

>>137868137868

You'll have to beat me to it, my friend.

At any rate, you've caught my interest. I hope to see the next parts real soon. A bit of suggestion? Those words at the beginning should be italicized and have quotation mark to indicate speech. Then again, that's just me any time dream spoken words appear on any of my works.

You deserve five stars.

>>137901137901

Fixed! Thanks for the tip

NOOOOOO!! I wanted to rate it a 5 stars and accidentally clicked 4!! BUCK!!

Poor Pinkey. As she heals the itches under her casts will drive her crazy.

I like it so far, 3/5.

The way Dash is acting almost seems OOC, but it really isn't. Just one of her extremes. I'd like a little better explanation as to what AJ did to Pinkie to let her 'fly'.

>>137868137868 I'd rather kill the nurse, she's cold.

Poor Applejack. Tracking this story. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this

>>138039138039

Ah, questions to be answered in the proceeding parts my wackyteen

Not sure how much I like this chapter. I mean, Applejack is really stubborn and headstrong, but I hardly believe she wouldn't keep such a contraption so poorly maintained in blind faith that her grandpappy's work is immortal. It also wouldn't be Pinkie's first flight what with the candycopter she has. That, and Octavia felt really, well, wrong, to say the least.

I would tend to agree with Blitz. Applejack seems a bit OOC, she strikes me as the character that would check on these things before sending someone she loved into them.

Example: Lesson Zero: barn's getting old, she doesn't want anyone to get hurt in it so she has Rainbow tear it down so she can erect a new one.

Octavia: While we've never actually HAD a canon personality established, there's a pretty deep fanon one established that people like to follow. Having her named Octavia in this situation really doesn't matter since you could establish the stranger who thinks they know everything motif by using any character.

That being said: This story is still enjoyable, and i'm looking forward to where you go with it.

>>137868137868 I realy like your name!

I agree with the comment above. The character is seems a bit off from the show, like a TOO stubborn Applejack, and The Element of Loyalty who kicked her friend because her mistake?

Well, its your story though and I hope it's not end soon 'cuz I really enjoyed a tragedy story like this, keep writing!

Wow, lots of good comments! Thanks guys

I know there's some concern about the freedom I give myself to stretch the characters within their personality limits. All I can say is when ideas come to my head I use the Stephen King method: I put my characters in a bind and simply report the events that occur. However, I don't want you to think I want to go too far and completely ignore the canon of the show. I just don't want it to restrict what I witness in my head, because ignoring those events is to bring to you a misrepresentation of my creativity.

I'm also happy to see so many people enjoying the story. Part three should be up tomorrow, if not today!

I like this fic. It's very interesting. Please continue!

Oh lord, where do I begin. Once again I hate the way you portray Applejack. It's just completely non-characteristic. I think Rainbow doesn't portray herself as the element of loyalty at all here with her not being able to forgive Applejack. I also don't think that Applejack would ever try to kill someone just because they insulted her, grief can do crazy things, but this just strikes me as completely OOC. Especially with the amazing characters that have been set up by the MLP:FiM writers.

That being said: I will push ALL my knowledge of the canon show out of my mind and read this story as a blank slate so as to not let my own headcanon/headfanon influence your artistic direction. You're building up a nice setup here, and I truly want to see how you get out of it for that reason alone I will keep reading. Keep in mind most of the fans won't be able to look past canon, and truth be told it's a little hard for me to do as well. but i'm truly interested in seeing how this all winds up.

Confound these stories, they drive me to be reading fanfiction at 2 in the morning.

>>137868137868Really ?why don't you go and update your dumb story?by the way,

I commented as some(guest)

If Pinkie hadn't seen AJ there, I'd find myself wondering if this wasn't some sort of bizarre, warped, mind-f#$k fic where we're going to find out that Applejack really *is* Brad Pitt at the end of it.

Still tracking, because I'm wondering if something like that is going to end up happening anyway, but I have to agree that AJ seems to be acting really out of character through the last part here, and...

Well, how could she have known what book to snag?  

Where had she been hiding during the last few weeks?

Why would she have gone from upset to homicidal?  I could see her being upset and wanting to see Pinkie.  I could see something happening that started a fight between her and Rainbow.  But just going out-and-out looney like that?  

I'll keep tracking this but I find it just getting a bit silly now. Im not an expert on knives at all, but in addition to the criticisms already said, I can't see how a a knife could cut off a whole hoof; unless it's some sort of big fuck off knife perhaps.

I'm really surprised that Rainbow Dash didn't just keep trying to pound Octavia into a fine pulp after have a LIT cigarette thrown in her EYE. That just seems like one of those things where you become so enraged you lose control of all rational thought and go berserk on the poor SOB responsible.

Still at least she won't be a problem anymore? I like this story so far, but that just really irked me the wrong way. I really hope RD didn't get blinded permanently because of it. Here's to pony medicine and *magic* to the rescue!

Anyways good job!

I swear this story gets weirder with every chapter. AJ has gone from crazy homicidal to not wanting to fight? Random suicide?

What?

This is soo good :D!

It is sad Applejack has to stay in a rehab center for 10 years..

Geez,really dark back story for Octavia O_o. And I gotta admit..Rainbow DOES deserve not to visit Applejack due to being HER fault for Applejack loosing it. I understand her feelings (and being my favorite character also :3),but It did suck seeing Rainbow Dash constantly give Applejack a hard time.

CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE 8D.

This story actually is now one of my favorite fics. The way you were able to show the oddities of the mind and how the mind is able to twist the very fabric of reality was amazing . Although i thought that this story needed a more morbid ending, you still wrote a really good story. five stars for you.

Wow, that word count.....

How dd Octavia know AppleJacks name?

>>181280181280

Well, in the part Applejack mentions her name to Octavia. Even though Octavia didn't acknowledge the friendly gesture, she still heard the name.

holy crap, this is absolutely amazing, have a spike

>>198990198990

SWEET!!! Thanks! Here, you can have one of my Angeloos!

“Nonsense, darling,” said Rarity. “Nothing will ever sever our friendship with Ponyville’s most dependable pony.”

they are pretty chill 'bout near man(pony?)slaughter, attempted murder, and successful dismemberment in ponyville it would seem and Luna "you are not a criminal..." yeah right what the buck she kind of is and I don't see how anyone could blame RD for Applejack's actions a few harsh sentences do not make it justifiable to lie in wait to try to kill another