Jak and Daxter have found a new Rift Gate. It leads to a land full of... ponies?
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distortedtruth92
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This sounds like it could beomce a great series; the Jak and Daxter series are good and I like how you made this crossover! All in all I give this 5 out of 5 ninja stars.
DJ-Pon-3 approved
1872223 sweet thanks man
Yes. That is all.
1872231 lol
pretty good sir
1872313 thank you
Pardon my french but KICKASS! This is an awesome story, I want more! Please update!
1872567 most likely tmrw or later tonight do not hold me too it though
this story is going to be so awesome
1872697 i hope to live up to your expectations
And now my life is complete.
1872731 glad i could help
1873039 no one else had done it that i could see so i was like why the hell not
OH YES PLEASE second favorite game series of mine, sly cooper being the first, ratchet and clank being third.
1873761 I hope i can do it justice in your eyes
1873774
/5
Very good first chapter! This will indeed live up to my hypes. Can't wait for the next one!
1873791 working on it now. I'm at 500 words
1874053 once someone gets it you'll know. I will probably start on the next chapter after church tmrw
Again, a simply wonderful chapter! I truely can't believe how well you have incorporated Jak and Daxter into the Equestria
I only saw a small amount of errors, but nonetheless it was a good chapter!
DJ-Pon-3 approved
1874156 if you want you can point them out and i will try to fix them. Thanks for reading
1874065 do they have the same voice actors? that's the only guess i can come up with
1874065 i looked up twilight's voice (tara strong) and she did keira in jak 3 and x (and a lot of other stuff I know), i congratulate you for knowing/finding that out. here have a pic encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRL9LF7Nb1nJgAunOlWG3SdfDrQLenltThkJf4uw4maAOMfen7asw
1874264>>1874286 huzzah both of you have a
1874389 i shall were
proudly 
1873044 ahem not to be a jack ass but check out my story My little pony Eco is Magic and the date of publication thereof
great story though
Sorry i had no idea ill be sure to check it out though>>1874495
If i was a women i would have youre children for this.
You are the first to do this. (As far as i know) and things are spelled and capitalized right!
1874591 actually creed miles beat me to the punch my 21 days. His is mlp eco is magic. And i try to take pride in pretty good grammar seeing as i have no editor
Tara Strong voiced keira in the lost frontier.
1874638 huszzah here is your
1874624 i checked his out. I like you'res more.
1874668 thank you
I'm guessing Keira's voice actor is the same as Twilight's. Awesome chapter, freakin' awesome!
Get an editor.
1874894 thank you have a
1875072 i usually like to my own stuff but i may change my mind
1874053 Twilight is also Seem's voice from Jak 3
("Am I wearing pants,” Daxter replies enthusiastically as he climbs up Jak's body to rest on his perch on his companion's shoulder) There should be a "?" after pants
(Suddenly, the rider breaks apart, send the two flying forward) Should be "sending"
(screaming, along with a screaming rodent) You don't need to say screaming twice unless you feel like it should be there.
(The creature next to him is some sort of otter, but it has some weasel in it, too.) You don't need the comma at the end, that would serve as a pause between the meaning "also".
(“He's a pony actually,”) Missing a "." at the end instead of a comma.
These were the only mistakes I could find. I still like the chapter!
DJ-Pon-3 approved
1877518 thank you. i'll get on that after i'm done with the chapter i'm working on now
(“The are ponies that embody the Elements, Jak. These ponies will be the ones to help you.”) Replace "The" with "They".
(“No, I don't”) Add a period at the end.
(“Well neither do I, lady,”) It's a finished sentence and therefor should end with "!" since he "exclaimed" it.
(“Ah, c'mon, Dax, it can't be that bad.) Take out the second comma and replace it with a period or exclamation mar; it is not needed and sounds more fitting to remove it.
(In fact, it's quite breezy”) Add a period to the end.
(“Celestia smiles again.) You added a quotation mark where it should not be.
( Ponies only wear clothes on special occasions. Except for the Apple family. Each one of them is always wear some piece of clothing.”) Take out the period after "occasions" and lowercase "Except"; you can add the sentences together to make it flow better.
(Each one of them is always wear some piece of clothing.”) Make "wear" become "wearing".
(As they come out into the open air Jak realizes something.) Add a comma in between "air" and "Jak".
( Celestia looks thoughtful. “That's interesting.”) Make "That's" into "That is" because Royalty does not usually combine words like that; they like to state whole words like "That is" and "Is it not".
(The trio makes its way through the crowded court yard to a chariot that has two pegasi attached to the front.) Make the "its way" into "their way" because it shows that "they" are moving, not an "it".
(Jak looks at her warily. “What are you going to do?”) Replace the period after warily with a comma to indicate that he is fixing to speak/create diologue.
(“She looks at him. “Who's this.”) Take out the " before "She" and add a "?" after "this".
( Twilight says kindly. I know everpony will be happy to meet you.”) Remove the period after "kindly" and replace it with a comma. Then add a open-quotation mark after the new comma.
(“Oh, really. Who?” she asks enthusiastically.) Take out the period after "really" and replace it with a "?". It is in question form.
(“No I didn't get much time to talk to him as he was throwing me into the dungeon.”) Add a comma after "No".
( “That's good. I was afraid you had done something terrible. Wait.” Her eyes widen.) Replace the period after "Wait" with a comma; she is going to speak again and it is an interrupted sentence.
(“Oh, this is so great. I've been telling ponies for years that other dimensions exist and this proves it. Oh, I can't wait to tell them.”) I interpreted this as Twilight being very happy to find out about this news, so I believe that (in my opinion) that the periods should be replaced with "!"s.
(“Uh, maybe we keep it between your friends the Princess, and me.) Put a comma after "friends" and replace "me" with "myself".
( “Girls, I've got somepony for you guys to meet.) Add a quotation mark after the period.
There were more mistakes in this chapter, but they were only small things. Hope I helped out
Don't let it discourage you that there were more this time; writing is harder than editing and I would have made more mistakes than you if I were to have written this. You are doing really good, just look at the small stuff! It's perfectly fine, really. Still a great chapter, I got to re-read it and it was a pleasure!
DJ-Pon-3 approved
1877657 thank you
No prob what-so-ever!...I just hope I don't look like an English freak or you think I'm poining out things too harsh
I'm just trying to help
DJ-Pon-3 approved
1877725 constructive criticism is always welcome
a wild chapter appears!
i use read
its super effective!
Lol man>>1878243
The daxternator is BEAST.
1878246 1.bp.blogspot.com/-EiMb6kSoEIw/UCEYrenc6iI/AAAAAAAAAKI/FpQxDmXzrQg/s500/fist-pump-baby.jpg
1878276 of course he is
Yet another great chapter- that part about re-re-re-re-re-re-learning how to roll was awesome
I honestly didn't expect it and I got a real kick out of it! Do you mind if I look for some parts that I can help you edit with?
DJ-Pon-3 approved
1878373 go ahead. I was hoping someone would laugh at that