This. Is. Amazing.

Seriously, I need MOAR. You never fail to disappoint.

YES YES YES YES YES I LOVE IT ALREADY!

Very interesting. Needs a little proofreading, but I really like the premise. It almost feels abrupt, how quickly we get to the white city, but then, I don't know where you are going with all this, do I? Keep it up!

I'll hit all the major points that I think need addressed.

1st. Need to proof read a tad better, up near the top there's a couple of word errors (such as who instead of how).

2nd.  Characters are well done, Rarity especially. I don't feel as if you've caught the essence of Twilight nearly as much, but you do a good deal better then most.

3rd. I loved the antique shop, very well detailed, very interesting place, but I feel as if Rarity was poorly written when it came to the feeling of fear.  It was.... too much, yet not enough? Don't know how to explain it.  On the other hand, the explanation of Rarity needing to teach Twilight when to be silent was great.

4th. Lore.... you seem as if you're going to create a lot of it. This should be interesting, but be careful not get to lost in it.

5th. Settings... Antique shop was great and wouldn't be a bad place to return too. The cafe wasn't too bad either.  The only place I really get a lack of feeling for is Twilight's library, but that's not necessarily a bad thing seeing as we know it pretty well.

Well, I hope this has been somewhat helpful.  Not bad, I'm definitly enjoying the story.

>>18620211862021

>>18622941862294

Oh you!

I have the second chapter all written out, just gonna double proofread it so avoid my last pitfalls.

>>18631211863121 I had that in mind as there was literally no transition to the city. It bothered me a bit too because without the later parts, it's hard to get a feel for the pacing. If you do decide to read the next chapter, It will be a little clearer on whether or not you'll like the story as a whole.

>>18638911863891 You sir. You have excellent things to say. Have another moustache.

1. I know

2/3 Yeah Rarity is one of my more experienced characters and I always end up writing her into any story because I like what she brings to the table. I get what you're saying, her fearful reaction was too much to not enough explained dread leaving it feeling a little forced.

4. Hahaha... you have no idea... It should be fun though. Very little of it will be wall of text type explanations like I did twice in the first chapter.

5. Thanks, I spent a long time on that antique scene and it feels good to know it was well received. I figured for the library.

Thank you so much for the criticisms!

The small of Spike's cooking filled her nose...

Um if you would like to know it should be smell not "small"

My god, this has the beginnings of brilliance. I will be watching, good writer. You can rest assured of that. And I eagerly await more from you.

'. . . she whispered darkly'? This does not inspire confidence, but I shall give it a go.

This is fantastic, I eagerly await more

Some action when they're escaping the city feels a little hard to follow, but I'ma mark this one. I wanna see where this is going.

Whenever I see a character named Stella, I put my head in my hooves and cry:

Hay Stellaaaaa!

Stellaaaaa!

Aah nostalgia. This is solid work, I can't wait for more!

Very cool and very epic. Really excited to see where this one goes. I've been rereading and following the same stories for so long, I'm glad you came up with something fresh to look forward to. Also, congrats on the EqD feature!

My mental picture of Rosetta stitching her mouth shut and falling limp has to be one of the creepiest things I've ever imagined... Though, it's true I don't read horror stories.

On one hand I'm interested to see how everything will come together. On the other hand, I have different fingers. Seriously though, some of that stuff is pretty wacky, and I hope it gets explained soon.

Impressive story, haven't read anything else quite like it. I will repeat what others have said, you have great potential

Now this story has... potential.

Sir, you had my curiosity with the first chapter. Now you have my attention!

Favorited and upvoted!

"They soared passed the remaining outer rings" - should be past.

Edit: And now I've finished the chapter... whoa! This is fantastic, I can't wait for more.

Everypony says such nice things about Twixie's story! She's not that good at writing, honestly! You guys are the best...

>>20066092006609 Twixie was extremely excited when EqD told her it would be posted. Of couse she knew that everypony would love it! But, it's a little more popular and well liked than Twixie anticipated and she feels the pressure...

I did aim for something purely fantastic. Even in a world of magic, I wanted to make the story and setting magical in it's own way. I do have the entire plot worked out and much of it written in a rougher, unedited form, but it may still be awhile between updates as I iron out the countless errors.

>>20075062007506 Excellent catch! Twixie would have never caught that. Please accept her mustachioed baby dragon!

I have to say Im eagerly awaiting the next chapter. The part about Rosetta becoming a filly again really got me interested. Does she still have her memory of her past life? Cant wait to find out more. There were a few small word errors, but nothing major. Great story so far!

Your style reminds of one of my favorite authors, Diana Wynne Jones, both in the semi-surreal description of the dream magic, to the metaphorical phases used and the dialog.  This is such a joy to read!  I'm so glad this is the story I stumbled upon after finding this site.  Best of all, I have no idea where all this is going, and it gives me a thrill.  Following!

Oh dear me, Twilight.  You can't see the danger at all, can you?  

Never trust a dream, especially not one in the grips of a devil's pages.

>>20083452008345

Everypony says such nice things about Twixie's story! She's not that good at writing, honestly!

I CALL DISCORD APPLEJACK! I worked with you with Flimsy and Hope for Happiness. Trust me, you're not a bad writer.

This is fantastic so far; Who knew there were still gems waiting to be discovered on Fimfic? Happily tracking.

I just got around to reading this (I favorited it to keep track of it, and I needed a study break tonight)...

I wish I hadn't waited so long. Holy...It feels nice to read things that are...I don't really know how to say it, but for lots of things I only get a vague mental image...not here. Definitely going to read m0ar.

I haven't read anything with any remote fantasy in it's setting in a while. This is pleasant to me.

Wow, that ending was a curve ball I definitely did not expect. Stellar job on this chapter

Holy shitake mushrooms!! Did not expect that ending.

Absolutely Fantastic!

Beautiful.

Now this is interesting...

Woah. Didnt see that coming. Im loving the story so far!

Oh, that makes much more sense now.

Yeah...I think this is my new favorite fic. I haven't read anything that sparked my imagination like this since...well...it's been a long time. I truly adore the pure imagination that goes in to every scene and detail. The mystery of Stella and Rosetta add to the story, and you completely nailed the characterization of Twilight. I am NOT a literary junkie by any means, so unfortunately for your progress, all I can offer is praise. But so you know, I am eagerly awaiting every new chapter from now on.

Shit just got real.

>>20101522010152 Really? Twixie was just compared to her literary idol on a similarity basis...?

>>20225452022545 Haha! Twixie is a gem!

/gigglesnort

/dies

>>20408642040864 I will do my best to keep your viewership! The story should get better as more things unravel.

>>20549752054975

Beautiful

Nicest comment ever...

>>20599812059981

Yeah...I think this is my new favorite fic.

Bestest comment ever...

This... is a very interesting fic. A little Mind-bendy, a little dream a little dream, a little trip down the rabbit hole, but there's a malevolence about it all...

Even beyond the end of chapter 3 and Stella's rage... there's something wrong with this world, who are these actors? How is Twilight? She seems to be far more nonchalant with her safety than I'd expect...

I'm almost afraid that she can't step out...

Pete looks so pathetic and adorable in my minds eye!  I just would love to see that animated.

Again...this is so cool!  One wonders what Stella is.  So glad you got another chapter up.

this is fantastic.  You capture the emotion of whimsy of a dream so perfectly.  One minute everything makes sense, the next, you're a lamp.

perfect!

Oh god, I loved this fic. The writing needs a bit of work (It's a bit floppy in some places, confusing in others), but I just love the amount of imagination and splendor you threw into this!

The sandcastle scene was incredible (The marble tears are heartrendingly adorable), and the sort of dreaminess that I felt for the most part of the fic really pulled me in.

The dark, mysterious undertones mesh really well with the unreality of your story, sort of like Coraline, and it's great.

Update soon!

-Hopkinz

>>20826202082620 Me too. I'd ok with anypony drawing artwork of or inspired by something I wrote. Sadly I has no brony artist friends

I'm working on the next chapter and it should be up relatively soon. I'm gonna have to take extra time ironing out all the kinks though. Even though I'm happy with chapter three, it lacked a certain level of polish I try to attain.

>>20848572084857 I'm glad you like it!

If you'd like to send me a message with a list of some of the more poorly executed bits and your accompanying criticism, I'd greatly appreciate it. Always trying to get better!

>>20849762084976

Hellz I'd try, but I have no talent at all.  And take all the time in the world.  Your writing is delightful, I have to agree, chapter two was *slightly* more delightful than three.

Still awesome though.

Great cliffhanger ending, now back to patiently awaiting another chapter.

So much stuff going on... and I don't understand half of it... I love this story, even if it's a friggan Dream-scape trip.

There is so much anticipation here, I don't even think I can handle it. Really great work, looking forward to the next chapter!

I still have no idea what is going on

So, are they going to need Rarity's soul gem to pull Rosetta out of the diary?

This better not be the last chapter, or else I will be haunted by this mystery forever.

I liked this chapter, but like the others are saying, it's kind of hard to follow, and the way you worded the ending in the last chapter, it seemed like Stella was the angel. That's what I was expecting coming into this, but it was obviously something different.

Overall I really like the idea of this story. It just needs to be explained a little better, or approached from an understandable angle.

... Kinda got lost on this chapter.

Curious how this will end. Also want to know how long Twilight has been asleep and where the diary came from in the first place. Also, how is Cadance involved?

So, my chapter was received exactly how I thought it would be.

>>21228412122841

I still have no idea what is going on

I think this sums it up best. I may have gone a bit overboard on the surrealism, but it was my hope to leave the reader confused and disoriented.

Stay tuned. It will be a week or two before I update, but I'm getting to the part I've been waiting forever to write. It should be super fun and much easier to follow.

I really liked Pete...

>>21243042124304 This story's surreal mystery has me gripping at my (figurative)bedsheets.

I love this story, and I simply cannot wait for the next part of this underrated masterpiece.

Also, as is tradition: I still have no idea what is going on.

Confusion is good it means we have to pay attention keep it up

I too am a bit.. Lost? I have an idea of whats going on, but thats about it. But anyways Im really liking the story so far, cant wait to read the next chapter.

This is my favorite fan-fic of all time. Just LOVE it.

Chapter 4 is awesome though I'm a bit at a loss how Cadance makes these contacts and apperances.

Other than that everything is amazing.

I have no idea what is going on, good to know that was the intention though.

This is good.

A bit surreal and confusing (the bits with Cadance especially—what/how/why is she doing there?), but since thats the style of story it is I'm okay with it. Just don't forget to start explaining things soon, mind you.

>>21253522125352

Sob... you so nice to Twixie... Favourite of all time? My feels...

Haha, Cadance's part... Only a thread of sense was made, I just hope it added to the mystery a bit.

I am loving this story! Am I wrong to think you draw inspiration from such stories as Howl's Moving Castle? I can spot a lot of similarities to it (my favorite movie!) and as I read this story it puts me in the same frame of mind; especially this chapter! (I've always pictured Stella as looking like Calcifer)

The explosion of chaos and imagination  in this chapter is great, feels just like a Miyazaki 'shit hits the fan' moment. Angel gave me a solid no-face vibe when you first introduced him, and I just knew there was going to be more depth to the character than 'hurr durr, evil thing'. Totally on the money!  Love it.

Keep up the great work ^^ I've never read anything with so much Miyazaki soul. I can't wait to read the next chapter, I salute you for your incredible imagination and thank you for putting in the effort to share it with the rest of us.

The only thing that makes me sad is that there's going to be a lot of readers put off by the wild imagery of this chapter. In a movie, people are watching the images and everything is wrapped up all at once. In a story, people have to read and analyze, and I feel a lot of people are going to slip through the cracks between chapters. This story is amazing and deserves a lot more views and attention than its likely to get because of these flaws of the medium.

At any rate, you have all of my love and admiration! Can't wait to see where you go next with it. This is definitely one of my favorites of favorites! I'd love to talk to you about it sometime and pick your brain <3

Edit: Oh, and one last thing! I'm not the greatest artist ever, but I'd love to draw you some fanart sometime :) http://dezy-x29.deviantart.com/

>>21457442145744 You have strong induction skills! I did in fact use Howl's Moving Castle as one of my stronger influences as far as imagery and narrative goes. There are a few more that had great influence on this story, but they won't come out until the later chapters and are only thematic with the ending.

derp... you so nice...

Keep up the great work ^^ I've never read anything with so much Miyazaki soul. I can't wait to read the next chapter, I salute you for your incredible imagination and thank you for putting in the effort to share it with the rest of us.

Yeah, writing out the stuff I see in my own mind in its complete imagery would be Tolkien style lengths of imagery. I don't have the patience nor do I approach the artistic skill to write so well. Maybe some day...

I'm not entirely sure how you want to pick apart my brain, so I won't know how to help you until you start, but it'll do my best to present my dissected brain to you in its entirety in the form of what you seek!

Hmm... when you say fanart, are you considering drawing my characters and scenes? If you are, we have quite a bit to go over because I'd love to include artwork to ease some of the heavier description for those who are less interested in it.

I might as well just favorite all of your stories, i ( as the sayin goes ) just love love looove your writing.

PLOT TWIST!

Edit: This chapter unleashed the sobs. Mine eyes did runneth over.

This ending seems weird. The entire, it's but a dream, bit really shouldn't apply.

Plus, it's like very little has actually happened. Twilight has lost all of that magical knowledge but Rosetta now 'lives'? Unless this is some sort of dream-ception, stuck in a dream without knowing it.

First angry.

Then FEELS.

Then omghope.

What happened? And why am I enjoying it so much?

My duty is to all of Equestria’s ponies, not just one

Twilight Sparkle’s fate is regrettable, but she is strong. Twas there ever a way home, she will findeth it.

remind me that  next time you are sobbering in front of your statue because your subjects don´t love you, and need help to socialize. And by the way, why are your duties so important, your highness? raising and lowering the moon?  Your big sis did it for a millenium and nopony complained. Protecting your subjects? Yeah, your vigilance was soooo useful during the changeling coup.

Great chapter. Now Twilight just needs some more of Cadance's tears and she can make a clone army... or not.

>>21872612187261

but Celestia's really bad with taxes.

>>21869632186963

But Twilight wrote down her name.

And Rosetta is just a word.

Oh my celestia! I'm still crying!

...huh. So much swapping emotions. I honestly didn't like this chapter. Stella swapping emotions like that felt out of character. At first she was a caring star with some kind of secret. Then once those "secrets" started to become threatened, she showed what I thought was her true character. This swap worked for me. And then here in this chapter she just suddenly gives up her attack on twilight when she sees twilight crying. This just doesn't work that well for me. It's too sudden of a change, and doesn't fit with previous character development.

Twilight's maternal feelings for Rosetta are understandable, and not as big of a swap as Stella's, but something that also could have used some better development.

Another thing that's getting to me is how "confusing" you're making it. I understand that leaving elements of mystery and unknown can be interesting, but right now it's just annoying me. You're leaving us too far out of the loop. This chapter played like an ending to a story, except it wasn't an end. We still have chapters ahead.

Last off, the way Twilight's just talking to spike like any other morning at the end there, doesn't feel right. There should have been some sort of descriptions on Twilight's thoughts during that scene. Twilight should still be feeling her sorrow from the end of the dream. Heck, when I have an emotional dream, it usually affects me for a good 20 minutes after waking up, and still comes back to me in thoughts throughout the day.

Overall, I really like the concept of this story. It's an intriguing concept that grabs the reader right from the start. But it's going way too fast now, and not making enough sense. I hope you understand the issues I'm getting at here. I'm just trying to criticize, not attack you. You've done a pretty good job in previous chapters, you're a decent writer, way better than I'll ever be. But there's always room for improvement.

I'll be looking forward to future chapters, and I hope to see you improve. Like I said, you established an engaging story, it could just use a little better building.

"People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces, little things you can't quite account for: faces in photographs; luggage; half-eaten meals... ; rings. Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely, and, if something can be remembered, it can come back." - The Doctor

>>21905452190545

Oh my! This is quite comprehensive! I'm flattered that someone would take the time to point out story elements that seem/are rather jarring or unworthy. First and foremost, I'm sorry you didn't like it. I wouldn't expect you to read any further and I'm rather surprised you are.

You're absolutely right, Stella changed rather quickly and I agree. It was quick. I didn't think everyone would like it, but I never tried to make too much sense. It made sense to me that Stella would view Twilight as a non-threat after seeing her cry, therefore the safety of the diary is assumed. I'm not saying I'm right, but just that it was my mentality. That question was actually brought on by a few editors and you can know you're not alone.

My surreal, confusing plot is purely stylistic. I never had the intention of this making very much sense as far elements go. I'm sorry, but I cannot offer concession. If I knew you found this sort of plot annoying, I would have purposely written this despite that, not in spite of though.

Concerning the way Twilight woke up in the very end, you may have misunderstood it. There are hints to outline the unusual timeline I created and what actually transpired. It may make even less sense, but in a way it makes more sense. /the entirety of this story. Making everything make a lot of sense and very little sense at the same time.

To your definition of "improve" I can definitely examine my character changes more, but as for style and plot, those are unfortunately set in stone at least for this story. Now, that I've been held to a higher standard of writing, perhaps you'll enjoy my next story more. It's plot is meant to make sense and characters are a lot less "dreamy/do dreamy things".

Here, let me upload the last bit of this story. It was written a long time ago.

>>21910392191039

I've put quite a bit of my soul into this story and that quote really helped seal the void of finishing this. Rosetta has become something of meaning and emotion to me and even though I have to let her go for now, you make me think that some day I'll be able to write about her again.

Thank you kind sir for adding a suiting ending to my own story.

... I am going to need to sleep on this epilogue.

I liked the story but the ending feels off to me at the moment.

>>21911892191189

My surreal, confusing plot is purely stylistic. I never had the intention of this making very much sense as far elements go. I'm sorry, but I cannot offer concession.

Huh. I don't understand your choice in confusing the readers constantly.. Normally I expect confusing stories like this to make sense on some level, or leave speculation to the readers at certain points, but if you're looking to make a story that's hard to follow, you're accomplishing it.

If I knew you found this sort of plot annoying, I would have purposely written this despite that, not in spite of though.

That's good, I wouldn't expect you to change style based off of someone's opinion :)

Here, let me upload the last bit of this story. It was written a long time ago.

Huh? what do you... OH! so this was the end of the story! Jeeze, that explains the fact that this chapter feels like an end :P I'll go read it, and then give my overall views on the fic in the epilogue's comments.

>>21912032191203 Wow! That ending just reminded me of that quote, glad to have helped I guess!

>>21912692191269

Normally I expect confusing stories like this to make sense on some level.

Normally...

In all honesty, only Twilight's viewpoint should really make sense. Every other character is subjective to her dream. If I failed to make her viewpoint coherent, I've sort of missed the mark.

>>21913202191320 I don't quite get what happened. AT ALL.

Ahaha, I like this ending. It feels like a good ending, and it certainly clears up what the last section of the 5th chapter was supposed to show.

By that, I mean I guess this was supposed to show how her dream faded away from her memory like a real dream? She was moved by it but just disregarded it as a dream when she woke up? Also, dreams come from the mind, and Twilight's the element of magic, so those advanced spells and twilight's ability to bring out Rosetta out of that dream can make sense if you use that as a thoery... and holy crap.

Were you applying that rushed and confusing style of story to make this feel more like a dream? Because that totally makes sense. Damn you. Damn you and your nonsensical story that now makes sense to me.

Only thing left confusing me is the scene between Luna and Cadence, but I guess it sort of makes sense, Luna being the watcher of dreams and all.

Welp, it took me a bit, but your nonsense makes some sense to me now. I'm not sure if it excuses some of the parts that could have used better writing, but your style choice at least makes sense to me now.

If that's not what you were going for in your style, please enlighten me. But damn, good job :)

Edit: Oh, and as a last comment I forgot to include on ch. 5 : I like how Rosetta is a word... and Twilight proceeds to write Rosetta's name in the diary. As a word. You clever person, you.

>>21913332191333

I'm sorry.

I promise it's all there! I hope...

>>21914462191446 I love it. But there never was an explanation, XD.

I'm guessing this story is one of those (You're supposed to figure it out yourself) stories. I like those... but still.

You left us with a real mean cliffhangar there! lol.

So... where did Rosetta come from? It's never explained how she got out of the dream.

I like how Rosetta is a word... and Twilight proceeds to write Rosetta's name in the diary. As a word. You clever person, you.

The most cleverest. As are you for deciphering my silly mind.

Sequel?

okay If someone can answer these for me I'll be happy because at the moment I'm just confused:

Why did the diary change from Rosettas to Twilights?

What was all that stuff that Twilight saw while looking through the angels mask and how does it fit in?

Twilight said that Rosetta couldn't come back, then she did?tAnd The letter implied that she was in paradisium after Twi left and sent the the diary after her so did she get to equestria on her own? Is this just the author making plot twists?

Is Stella lonely?

Did Cadence and Luna do anything after having that big argument and what where they doing in the first place?

I thought Twilight choose to remember Rosetta over the magic, why did she forget her then?

Oh, of all the sweetest things I have ever read, this takes the cake. However, I would also like to know how Stella got to equestria. This will likely be conjoined with my wubs in cheering me up. T'was a wonderful read.

Amazing story. Favorite fim fiction that Ive read. I love the fact that Rosetta didnt get left behind, went from me nearly crying to me being amazingly happy. Anyways thanks for this amazing story.

An amazing read, and I absolutely loved the last chapter. This story confused me alot in some parts, but it was good.  First time Ive used one, but you deserve this. Take a moustache

And so Twilight forgot her magical adventures in the dream world, but managed to bring Rosetta to life and preserve her experiences with that magical diary before her memories faded. It would seem that the diary has great power in the real world, as evidenced by what Twilight saw through the Angel's mask. Or... maybe she never woke up at all!

I personally like to think that Twilight did escape the dream and bring Rosetta to life after all, much happier that way. Still doesn't explain what happened to Cadance and Luna though.

I guess we'll have to wait for Rarity's story if there is to be any possibility of knowing for sure. Besides, I was wondering what became of the soul gem. The way it was set up I was sure it would play a key role in this story, but it seems it was there to throw us off in this one while setting up a separate story all along.

It seems that there is a lot that did not get wrapped up here...

The ending doesn't seem to make sense. The dream faded, sure, the memories dimmed and her knowledge, well, her knowledge in magic was never confirmed or denied as to whether she retained ANY of the magic she learned. It said "there was no time to commit them to active memory." If this was really a different dimension/world that Rosy and Stella existed in, then those were three real months of time to commit those books to long-term memorization. How did she forget all that magic? That's like muscle memory, considering she was performing many of those spells and has an extreme gift for learning large amounts of information and committing them to memory. How would that be active memory? It shuold be a working knowledge by this point. If she actually understood the doctrines of how to use and manipulate this new magic, she should not have any problems with it.

Were Cadence and Luna utterly part of the dream? Why spend so much time on them for absolutely no resolution or meaning to their part in it at all?

I really really enjoyed this story but I think the ending missed the mark by a mile; It seemed that you really had something to say with the "Writing Disease" and the deadly "Words," especially the fact that Rosetta was a "Word," I thought this story had another good two or three chapters left, and then I see "Epilogue." It just seems like you threw away a few good, very interesting last little odds and ends that could have made the story outstanding, and given some great ideas; What words can mean to people (Or in this case, ponies) how a name or the idea of a person (pony) is 'just a word,' how a person (pony) can be wrapped up in their creation/job that they waste away because of it (writing disease) although I guess that part was implied by the way Stella died, but I feel like it could have meant something more to Twilight.

Also, out of curiosity; Did Stella ever get her diary back? And didn't Twilight end up stealing Rosetta from her after all?

>>21922352192235

Huh? So there's going to be some kind of sequel?

this.. this is beyond even pen strokes level... I LOVE READING THESE STORIES! mostly because they increase my level of writing such things but also because I LOVE THESE STORIES!!! I mostly write for school but I somehow seem to be good at it.. ever since I read past sins.. PLEASE FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME DON'T STOP UNTILL IT'S OVER!!! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!

THEN WHEN IT'S OVER COMTINUE TO WRITE IM SURE YOU'LL NEVER TO EMPRESS!!!

>>21941372194137

I'm sorry you didn't find the ending you were hoping for. It's always troubling to see readers disappointed with a plot I worked so hard on. I don't think it's right to explain the plot of my story though. Needing to explain the finer details means I've failed in my ability to communicate complex ideas in an accessible way to the reader in question. I can explain most of your questions in one, simple sentence, yet it was something that just couldn't be in the story. If you truly want to know, message me and I'd be happy to confide in someone.

Yet, the transpiring of ideas was completely stylistic. As I've said before, even if I knew that you would have hated my ending, I still would have written it the way I did. Not spitefully by any means. It was just my passion to communicate the exact message I did.

Thank you for reading and providing feedback. I plan to take the valuable pieces of advice you gave me to make my next story even better.

great story Twixie, the fantastic settings where beautiful done, i guess Cadance gift was a tear, born of pure love, with the same power as the dream world, one filled with motherly love even, that allowed Twilight to gave "birth" to Rosy in the real world, i would love to have a long chat with you, all the things that doesn't show but without a doubt you put there, it was a beautiful and heart warming story maybe when school break comes i will reread this and then i will try to make a comment more in depth about your story, i enjoyed it as you have no idea, and for that, i say thank you.

can we has sequels?

also i´m serious about the long chat

EDIT: im curious, Twilight said that she knew about this curse in a book she read along time ago where could have she read it, how does it ties with the story, maybe time will tell...

>>21917842191784

the things Twilight saw trough the mask, in my opinion where the last memories of Rosetta when she was alive, his mother used all his live or soul into writting that story, that fantastic world, and Rosetta gave his life to finish the work of his mother, i dont know if the angel was in fact the real Rosetta or not, im guessing that the Lala who was a flame was indeed Rosetta mother, im not sure about this last parts, but i believe that what Twilight saw where memories of Rosetta. but im not the writter of this story only Twixie knows the answer, and maybe will be the only one

>>21960182196018

Oh stop it you!

We may chat, but I'm a little disinclined to state exactly what each part means and how it's all connected. I leave that to the reader to discover themselves. I'm happy to hear you wish to read it again. I fancy it as one of those "The more times you read it the more you'll get out of it."

What I find interesting is that everyone seems to take away different messages and understand different aspects. From the comments I've seen someone ask a question about, dislike, explain or like almost every single plot point.

Even if someone doesn't like it the story, I just hope that they think about it for awhile afterwards.

EDIT: I'm not one for direct sequels. The conflict has been resolved and I don't like to drag out ideas.  However, while they won't have a story all to themselves again, this isn't the last time I plan to mention Rosetta and Twilight.

>>21962012196201 don´t worry i wouldn't dare to ask such things, for wich is like asking a magician to reveal how a trick is done or asking an old lady what is the secret spice to the delicious meal she has given you, as someone who likes to write stories and poetry i couldn't do that, i have been thinking about venturing in writing MLP fiction, sadly i think university wouldn't allow me as for now, of course i will love to re read your story, i´ll do it for pleasure and also to translate it to a friend so he could enjoy it too, as English is not our native languaje

who knows maybe i´ll venture to ponify one of my short stories or do a compilation of poetry if that is allowed here

and i wont stop you deserve the praise Twixie

for now i´m not able to muster more thoughts that what your story make me feel, so sorry that my comments are only about that

since i just read this in one go

At first I was all broken up, 'cause I thought that Rosy would be left all alone... But then things happened! And I wasn't sad anymore!

That aside, this was quite trippy, and a little hard to follow at times - perfectly suiting a dream. Well done. I am of the opinion that you managed to catch the surreal atmosphere of a dream quite well.

Ahhh, a  happy ending. I love those. Now there's just one last thing missing.... Pinkie! You have a party to throw!

Oh my goodness, the feels, oooohhh, the feels! I'm shedding liquid pride all over the place! Thank you SO much for writing this story, I'll take to heart and reread many times before my end... seriously, I mean that. It's just so much to take in, I'm a little at loss for words. *wipes tears away* You're awesome, like, the most awesomemest author ever, totally more awesome than any author I've come across in my 18 years of living. Few tales have ever affected me in such a manner, stirred my feelings so deeply and shaken my core so fondly, but this is the best story EVER!

Lots of love from a new reader and fan. I can only hope to achieve something so amazing as this, no matter how much I write.

out of

Oh, and have a