17,794 words · 505 views · 38 · 0
1,838 words · 577 views · 33 · 0
2,669 words · 297 views · 22 · 0
7,891 words · 262 views · 16 · 0
15,284 words · 551 views · 28 · 5
24,642 words · 365 views · 18 · 3
31,303 words · 239 views · 17 · 3 · gore
16,585 words · 186 views · 10 · 2
8w, 22hMy laptop died6 comments · 41 views
So I was writing my stories on a laptop. The same laptop that's battery burned out on my lap and it was very hot so I swore and flicked it away, then I punched the wall and dislocated my left index finger at the knuckle. So after swearing in anger again, I popped it back into place... but then then my laptop was still broken. So I had to go buy a new computer... and spent $1200 on some flashy, blinky, futuristic looking thing. It's cool but I don't have Microsoft Word to write my stories anymore so right now I'm using some open office file or something like that. But hey, as a famous man (Also my idol) once said
49w, 6dPast, Present and Future...2 comments · 117 views
Wise words from Burdy:
Most people, err, ponies, focus so much on the past, that they end up tripping on the stick that is the present, and falling face first into the pile of dog shit that is the future.
Anyway, sorry for the wait with 'Twilight's Unfaithful Student', I work 13 hours a day and my editor is busy as well, so most sincere apologies and we'll try hard to get stuff done... don't fall in any dog shit please.
61w, 1dFloor mats, vs carpets3 comments · 140 views
Went to Crappy Tire (Yes, we here in Canada call it Crappy Tire, even though we do most of our shopping there) and I saw this big fancy carpet and figured "Yeah I'll buy it" then I realized it was $250+tax. I was like "Fuck that. I could get a new Russian gun!" so I went on my way then saw some car floor mats for $5 each and thought "Hmm, for about $50 I could cover my room floor with floor mats... and it would be easier to clean..." So I have decided upon vehicle floor mats for my room flooring.
10 comments · 240 views
My name is Evan Burdick though most people call me Burdy and don't actually know my real name
So like stated in my bio, I am a redneck that lives in Canada. I live in Ontario just outside the city of Barrie on a small farm. I work on a larger Dairy farm as the head herdsman despite being rather unfit for the job. I am a male and am seventeen years old but look a little older and in the summer time when I cut my hair short you can see that my hair is starting to grey around the sides of my head for some reason. I am around 6'3" and weigh about 200 pounds, I have a large muscle mass and play offensive lineman on the Bear Creek high school football team, where I got the nickname Burdy. My mother's side is of Russian origin where my father's side is northern native. My skin is white with a light tan to it, my eyes are brown and my hair is a dark shade of brown. I enjoy classic rock and country and only some hip-hop like "Hoop Gangnam style"
I always kind of figured that My little pony was for little girls, which it kind of is. Anyway so one day I'm working out with the dumbells and I hear "My little pony, my little pony..." and I was like "The fuck is this shit?" but was too lazy to get up and grab the remote to change the channel. After a while it just sort of became routine to watch My little pony while I worked out. So in the end I always tell myself "Jesus titty fucking Christ... I write stories and watch a tv show meant for little girls... meh whatever...
Love of guns:
My ma says when I was three she gave me my first bb gun but I couldn't remember that long ago so ever since I can remember I've had a gun in my hands (Metaphorically speaking). My first gun, which I still own, was a Winchester Cooey 64B semiautomatic 22LR (I call him Victor and his name is engraved into the wooden stock). I've owned several rifles and one .357 magnum Colt Python (Which I sold when the cylinder spin pin and cylinder lock broke). Out of all my guns I love my Russian SKS the most. For some particular reason I've come to her Applebloom, not sure why I just have.
Other fun stuff:
I usually don't take things seriously enough and end up injuring myself but not taking it seriously either. I once cut my leg open with my bowie knife and refused to tell anyone about it and the only way my mom found out is when she saw me washing my blood soaked bed sheets, which I had bled on during my sleep. Funnier still was when the cut was just about to heal but got ripped open during football practice so I smeared blood across my face for humor and someone pointed it out during a huddle. The coach asked what it was and I replied "War paint" he asked where I got paint from and I pointed to my leg which was bleeding rather badly and he told me I should probably go get stitches but I told him "Bah tis but a flesh wound"
Despite being late in my teen years I'm still a virgin but that's a personal choice. I just don't have an very sexual interest with women. I'm not gay either, that's not what I'm saying, I just don't find sex all that appealing. And I generally don't like writing sex scenes in stories because I imagine it happening and it just feels... weird.
I love learning things about guns that I never knew and am a whiz when it comes to repairing firearms. My personal favourite time was when I ran out of cleaning strips and used Charmin toilet paper with gun solvent to clean my SKS.
Though I'm considered 'Intimidating' I'm not actually all that bad of a guy. I'm actually quite timid and don't talk a lot to new people that I don't know and tend to shy away from people. I was once told by a friend of mine who had been in at least one of my classes every semester that he never wanted to talk to me because he thought I was scary. Said it was my face and size, said I looked like a terminator.
I have a dog named Ally that I love and go on long walks with through the forest. I usually make the pun of "Ally quick, Timmy's stuck in the well" but she just looks at me with a stupid look. I once sat at the diner table with Ally and we both ate cheerios and milk. Eeyup that's right, I fed my dog cheerios and milk out of a bowl even though people eat out of that bowl.
Anyway I hope you guys had a laugh and a chuckle while reading that and I've got to say thank-you. You guys and gals out there always make my day when I get home and someone says 'Man, you're story rocks' or 'Hey good job, keep up the work'. And remember, I'm easily impressed eh, so if you want me to read a story you've written then just comment or send me a Personal message and I'll get right to reading. Trust me when I say it's not hard to impress me and the real challenge would to make me un-impressed, so thanks and a big thumbs up to all you guys and gals. Have a nice day.
Yours truly: Burdy
90w, 4dON THE FRONT PAGE!!!5 comments · 323 views
So I was about to log off when I got to that main page with the most popular and all that good stuff and second on the featured list was 'It was bound to happen' and I was like "No fucking way... YES!" and I was thrilled... overjoyed... on verge of heart attack due to my excitment that I had finally written a story that was relativily well recieved in the audience. So I have just this to say "YOU GUYS ARE THE FUCKING BOSSES" you guys and gals out there have my gratitude and respect so I think you all deserve a song