>>989172989172

You know OP, this is kinda a chunk of lore to somehow implement into the fic. Like find a way to explain it while still within the story, it makes the readers more involved within the lore of your universe, and it helps clarify when readers need to learn something.

>>10886651088665

I did not think about that... I'll just take that away before it spoils the engagement for others. I suppose the over-zealous questioning of one of my proof-readers led me to believe an explanation was somehow necessary.

Thank you for sharing that! It will really help me with future chapters.

>>10905821090582

Well, in reality, the explination was needed, you just didn't think to slip it into your actual story's chapters.

Which is an excusable fault, seeing the sheer amount of lore that you posted up there.

Hurray! Finally got another chapter out ; did you miss it? No ? Oh, okay...

That last update there was a slip of a button. I was actually just going to edit my chapter.

Sorry about that.

An interesting tale. Its obvious you poured quite a lot of love into it. It's a shame this doesn't have more views as its really an above average story. I'm only up to chapter 10 but I think I'll give a quick review, though I'll caution I'm not the best at these so take it with a grain of salt.

The beginning felt a little rough to me. Starting in median res followed by all the scene changes introducing new lore did more to make me feel jarred and confused than pulled in. After that though I really got sucked in, you've done some creative world building and I'm genuinely interested in seeing what's going to happen next for everybody.

Not sure what to think about Hyde yet. Foreshadowing in the prologue that he has a more human and fragile side was definitely a smart move as it keeps me from viewing him as a (at least completely) sadistic ass though a lot of what he's done I view as irredeemable. Can't say I either like him or dislike him as a character at this point, will go back to him at a later review.

I've enjoyed it so far and I'm looking forward to more.

>>17065691706569

Words cannot express how happy I am over finally receiving a review like this! And you can't have a nice meal without a generous pinch of salt !

I agree, maybe the beginning could have been more... dynamic somehow, and I had considered making the changes. Now that I actually got another opinion on the matter it sounds like a more interesting endeavour. Though I worry it might become a confusing change if I'm not careful . Although, the in medias res was there almost specifically for the purpose of getting the reader to go "Huh , what's going on?"

Your reaction is almost precisely what I'd hoped for, in regards to Hyde . The idea was to make him a big grey area of 'possibly bad, possibly good' and as you read on you may come to form a conclusive opinion that may be different from other readers', or remain unsure. That is the idea, anyway.

Thank you for the review, you're a star!

Here's the scope for you, my readers - or lack thereof :

TL;DR: I am ashamed of myself. I am revising this story. The story will be shorter, but won't change. You will get five more chapters before my overhaul. I love you all for reading my fic. Please leave comment and feedback.

My fic has reached and surpassed a novel's length without getting into the true depth of the plot, which is absolutely dismal. My proofreader has not been as active on reading, which I excuse because she is a dear relative of mine who's even busier than I am. This led me to the following decision: I will shorten my fic without taking out content. That is, I will make it more accessible and just as informative as before, but I won't go into great detail on how a loather kills a dragon or how Derpy finds a monster in the forest. And yes, I am capable of doing that.

I have been sloppy in writing this, and I wish to be considered a great writer. Adding to it, the way I've been doing this is really spitting in the face of what caused me to start writing a fanfiction to begin with, and I am ashamed of myself. I am in no position to ask you not to worry, considering nothing has actually happened in, what, 25 chapters. Everything will still happen, just in fewer words, and hopefully better words.

I stress this point: I urge anyone who had an opinion on what was okay and what was not, please tell me so I can better write this story. This is not just me trying to entertain an audience with my literature, it is equally for my own benefit, which I know is very selfish. This fic is also one of the few things I've actually done with my life that I can show other people.  I want to be the best I can be, and feedback is what I need the most from my readers.

Five likes and one dislike says a lot for a story that's been around for many months now. And that is down to me not doing my part properly. This story got its first dislike only days after publishing, which was demoralising, but made sense to me. I might have given up, but I was also favourited on the same day, which is probably what kept me going.

Image: http://25.media.tumblr.com/f6a97633a5a72ebb4b8e163119aa63be/tumblr_mfcrw0mRil1ro2g94o1_1280.jpg

And, damn, hyourei, you read this story before I was even born! You stick up for your fellow Swede.

As I said before: 28 chapters of writing without the story having actually started is ridiculous, so I aim to fix that before the end of the year, or early January, now that I finished my first semester of university and I take a month off from work starting the 27th of December. I will post the other five chapters in weekly instalments to spare my own dignity and so you at least get to read what is supposed to happen.

First of the five non-proofread chapters have been posted.

One chapter a week now, so you will get the next one on the 26th or 27th. The third one might be late as I cannot say whether I will have access to Internet.

Love you all.

Just uploaded the second chapter from the non-proofread chapters.

Revision going great, I will have you know. I'll be introducing a few more proofreaders into this project to make the writing smoother and quicker.

In other news: I am now on my first official, paid holiday from work, from Dec 28th to Jan 21st! Buck yeah!

There we go, the fourth chapter. I have decided I will simply move the original chapters to my DeviantArt when I commence the overhaul, and I will link to it as well.

Until then, thanks for reading.

Okay, so Sunday is apparently the new Friday - either that, or I published the last chapter before overhaul a full day and a half late . Have some text:

There it is, and it will be up here for a week or so before the overhaul. Hey, the character this fanfiction is named after actually got a chapter dedicated to developing her character! Who would have thought I'd actually do that ?

Anyways, I'm noticing a considerable increase in readers since early December - whether that be from the holidays or me actually writing a half decent story - and I am absolutely psyched! Love you all! And especially you guys who faved this fic, you are the ones who really motivated me to get my act right and begin the overhaul (which is essentially me revising the story to be more reader friendly and better), and trying to make this story the best I could make it.

Plans for the near future is for me to start including drawings in some (hopefully most) chapters to go along with the story. I also plan on restarting from the prologue and try to have one chapter out per week, so we get some flow going here.

Anyway, for now, enjoy some character development for one of the fic's main characters .