"Behind every great hero, there is always a wisecracking, obnoxious, Nincompoop!"
These words ring true for a certain ottsel named Daxter,
But when it really counts, he's just as much a hero as his best friend Jak.
When the Duo's Journey to escort Keira on her quest to become an Eco sage brings them to a small island, they make a discovery that sends Daxter hurdleing toward the land we all know and love.
But what about Daxter?
How will he get along in this world?
How will he get home?
And most importantly, where will he get a new pair of pants?
Chapters (9)
Well, seeing as there is nothing here involving comments or critiques, allow me to make one.
I don't know what it is, but your sentence formatting seems to be a bit broken. I can understand if it is your style, but I would encourage a bit more work (or maybe less work) on formatting. Also, the dialogue seems a bit choppy. I know I am a comma-happy proofer, so I would recommend more commas.
I found one or two misspelled words: e.g. I was the comet
In actuality, I would just look up a good beta reader to give it a once over.
Other than that, I like your premise, and I admit there needs to be more Jak and Daxter here. Glad to see something, and keep with it!
for a first timer you've done better than...me. and several other guys.
Needs a bit of tweaking with how its layed out and you're good.
no offense but i kind of beat you to the proverbial punch with my Jak and daxter crossover: My little pony Eco is magic
But good story nonetheless
Just a quick fun fact I can't get outta my head: Keira and Twilight are both voiced by Tara Strong.
Between that, and the fact there are actual J&D/MLP crossovers out there, makes me just wanna laugh my ass off.
I am now curious as to what happens next.
You better not take forever on yer updates, or else I might have to invite you over for cupcakes.
Dammit needs to be longer.
Formatting is still weird, but it's a lot easier to read than the first two.
Oh my god.
Why am I running into all these Jak and Daxter crossovers today?
not that I'm complaining
1983845 I suppose it was in the timing.
But I guarantee you don't see a J&D Crossover near as much as you see a Halo one.
going on read later cuz i need sleep. also i just updated my J&D story
Interesting so both the Metal Heads and the Dark Makers are on the planet. This won't turn out well for anyone. The only hope for Equestria and the world is one 'brave' sarcastic ottsel. Their doomned aren't they?
Hmm...The layout is...a bit disorientating. Other than that it is good for a new writer.
Interesting. Look's like the ponies and Daxter are about to get a very interesting history lesson.
Yep
"You little mutt! I'll pick my teeth clean with your spine!"
HA! Sly 3 quote!
he noticed he was no longer wearing his completely original and totally not stolen article of clothing from Naughty Dogs past character, I..I mean his fingerless gloves.
Where in the hell did that come from?
My story is a long one! Filled with adventure and danger that can only be told through 5 action packed platforming games including a racing spinoff...or through me.
Fourth wall breakage!
Daxter: The Pinkie Pie of the PS2
Welp, whip out the the popcorn, we bout to here a story.
As a researcher ( shows fake license). I believe that because Daxter is created a vat of dark Eco, he is unable to become a dark maker and is changed to a different form. Something more temporary but powerful.
Your paragraph structure is a tad awkward though I would attribute that to the font size change from when you go from editing mode to actual print.
I'm sorry, but the whole lifting things with magic is just as strenuous as with your hooves is completely false, as you would know if you paid any attention to the show whatsoever. it might be true with regular unicorns, although i doubt it, but not with the element of magic, for Pete's sake! twilight would definitely be sweating because of lifting a few buckets worth of water. have you even watched the show?
R.I.P.
daxter 2
december 25 2012 - march 17 2013
yet another good story cut down in it's prime