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Before Shining Armor was Captain of the Royal Guard and spouse to Princess Cadence, he was just an ordinary big brother. But when the love of his youth proves not meant to be, he vows to be the very best stallion he can be to prove his worth. Years later he succeeds, and he is a shining example of a pony. So why does he hate himself so much?
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I listened to the song with the chapter.........................
THAT WAS FUCKING INCREDIBLE!!!!!! Along with the story, very well done!
Whelp, that's a sensitive enough issue, now isn't it.
Kinda figured where this was going soon enough
Decent writing and kinda interested on where it goes
1839854 Thank you. It's a song that has a lot of meaning for me. I wrote that chapter while listening to it. I helps me write with my heart.
Ok this was COMPLETELY different than i thought it would be. At the start of chapter 1 i thought that he had done something that got Twilight killed not THIS!..............................................................................................Nothing like incest.
PS- Why is this a common theme for Twilight and Shining Armor?
Either way great story and Fate ALWAYS has plans.
I'd actually wondered if this was inspired by a certain recent fic on this pairing.
Well done; I can't help but feel that maybe Twi forgave him a bit too quickly, but then, she got to see his suffering pretty clearly. I just wonder about whether or not hers is really done.
1842314 Not to get too META, but the fic intentionally never overtly says what happened what happened that fated night.
That is for the reader to decide. Why what do you think he did?
BTW that's rhetorical, don't actually answer it here please. You can PM me if you feel rocked by the urge.
As far as forgiving him too quickly, you must realize, this is YEARS after that night.
It could be that Shining was blowing it way out of proportion in his head all those years.
Maybe what Applejack told Twilight changed her point of view on the matter.
1842333
I won't go and answer in much detail, but here is the story that I'd thought you were inspired by. With that tone in my head... is it a surprise?
1842467 I had already written the first couple of chapters (But hadn't published yet) before that fic came out. I definitely drew from it for Shining's source of his remorse and self loathing as I wrote (and rewrote) from then on. But like a good horror film, you never actually *see* what happens in both that, and my own. I intentionally wrote it so that the reader could fill in the blanks with their imagination (which could be much worse than anything I could write). I can't say that I liked that fic (I wouldn't want to read it again). But I respect it tremendously for its writing style and atmosphere (even without the music). It turned my stomach reading it, it made me FEEL, and it takes a lot for that to happen, that's why I upvoted it.
TL;DR Yes I read it, but it is not canonical for my fic.
Oh, I can definitely see that with both. Of course, as a dark-ficcer myself, I'm inclined to make them worse than what most people would come up with.
Me, I just kinda see the possibility for that story ending with another unwanted attempt to "express himself" towards Twi, and this one being a follow-up. May end up writing my own general take on the subject eventually, but I've got enough other stuff before that!
Were you putting movie quotes into the narrative on purpose? I caught several, but my favorite was Kill Bill.
"You're not a bad pony. You're a good pony. You're a terrific pony. You're my favorite pony."
The Patriot reference a chapter or so before wasn't bad either...
2087824 Yes. That's kinda my thing. And good job on finding them!
2089826
Yeah, they are cool... The only problem was suddenly picturing Twilight speaking in David Carradine's voice.
2089836 Wait, I don't remember a patriot reference. what was the quote?
2089841
"I have long feared that the sins of my past would come back to haunt me... and that the cost would be more than I could bear."
Replace "haunt" with "visit" and you have the Patriot. Somehow I am ok with Shining channeling Mel Gibson...
2089941 Ah yes, that's the one. I had always felt that 'haunt' fit better.
Thanks for this, Shakespearicles. This was just what I needed after reading Not Now Big Brother. I mean, the concepts presented in that fic and this one is still barred from my personal canon, but connecting the two makes its own sort of sense, at least to me.
You have a good grasp on how to build mystery. I wish more writers tried instead of unloading paragraphs of exposition.
I knew I'd seen that last scene before.
While I think the ending/AJ thing is a bit strange I can say that I truly enjoy the way you spend the story painting Shining. That being said I think the daily suicide attempt as shown was a bit lop sided.
As presented Shining is a very driven character and he will do anything he sets is mind to, So why would he leave life to random chance? I think more of a "I could but I won't, because I deserve this." would have fit a bit better.
All in all a great character presentation and I would love to see similar takes on others, 'cause not enough folks write sad helpless pony well.
(Also, sorry if this is kind of a nerco. But I started looking at your other stories today and this seemed interesting.)
2513819
I like it! I'll go back an edit it after I finish my current project.
I am going to cry.
Fuck, it was such a good story so far... god damn applecest, WHAT A BIG SURPRISE.
I'm confused. Why would Twilight need to forgive Shining Armor? I feel like she was raped or something by him, but that doesn't really fit in with the end of the story. I'm so very confused.
1842333
Ok, as a horror writer myself I understand getting the reader to fill in the blanks, but the blanks you left here are... they don't cut any specific outlines well enough to actually come to a conclusion.
It needs more hints. I see what you were trying to do, but it quite frankly misses the mark. A near miss, but a miss nonetheless. With too much ambiguity, readers generate multiple possible answers, but without something to tip it towards one the trend is towards simply not picking.
That isn't what you want. Thing is, you're so close to handling that mechanic right. To be blunt, this is writing hard mode. The piece is excellent. The composition is well sewn together and the pacing works. I think it's within a hundred words of perfect.
What just happened?
I cannot even.
Wha?
Wow powerful. Good thing cadence filed the hammer.
Ah so Shiny's a Eagles fan!
Goodmorning star shine the world says hello, you shine from above us, We shine from below~
Wow You like alot of great music even the Beatles hard days night!
When Twilight brought up the "close" topic, I could've sworn Applejack would somehow misunderstand it and create a complete awkward atmosphere for the unicorn. I sure wasn't expecting THAT (not that I'm complaining...
). Now I'm really curious to know what happened between Shining and Twilight. Looking forward for more plot twists! 
Wait? Is it over already?
But you didn't even explain what happened. Okay, it is suggested that Shining raped Twilight, but even that doesn't make much sense. If that was the case, then Twilight wouldn't think of their relationship as "close", as she describbed to AJ, since rape doesn't unify people. On the other hand, if it was consensual, then Shining souldn't feel guilty about it. I'm sorry, but I just didn't get it, and it seems a lot of people haven't either. I was honestly expecting for more.
6705344 I agree that I left a lot of things needlessly vague. I'll go back (someday) and make things more clear. Suffice to say that it was statutory rape. (Like Two Peas in a Pod but without the happy ending) He felt really guilty about it after, hoping she would forget about the whole thing. She didn't and when she got older, she realized the wrongness what it was that they did and distanced herself from him, thinking that he was still a perv who took advantage of her, but part of her still loved him.
Damn, now I actually do want to go back and give this story some proper polish.
6706122
Thank you for taking your time to clarify the situation. I think I understand it better now.
Eh?
6706122 i thought that Twi and Shining had sex by some sort of messed up accident and that Shining felt guilty cause siblings cant be with each other
6774051 Like I said, I intentionally left it open to interpretation.
6774672 you sneaky genius
6775583 I was trying to find a picture to encapsulate "sneaky genius".
I Googled 'ninja einsein'.
I was not disappointed.
funny-pictures-quotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/nose1.jpg
6776080 ... No words
it is so hard to believe this is your first story here.
the wording the feelings are just so real. a true work of art.
7094077 Thank you. I've always been proud of this.
7095649 as you should be sir as you should be.
So is Twilight dead in this story? And is Shining feeling guilty as he might have been able to do something to prevent Twilight from dying?
Why the sex tag?
8614932 Sex is implied. And the mods said that with a teen rating, it needs the tag.
8615421
Oh, OK! I understood that I was just wondering if there was any actual sex in it, LOL.