1. Member Since 1st Aug, 2012
  2. offline for 5d, 13h

Currently writing a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon styled story. Non-Pony.


  • T Observations and Motivations

    Twilight Sparkle has located Starswirl the Bearded's journal, a document that disappeared along with him at the beginning of the Classical era. This is the Secret history of Starswirl the Banished.  · Tolerance
    12,354 words · 580 views  ·  33  ·  0  · 

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A pony calling himself Stein approaches Twilight about her research into her friends ability called 'Pinkie Sense', stating that it might be the key to his research. After observing Stein's odd behavior, and his penchant for avoiding answers, Twilight enlists the help of her mentor and her friends to help her decide whether or not she should help him.

The founding Fic of the Observations Universe!

Continued in Observations and Motivations!

First Published
20th Dec 2012
Last Modified
20th Dec 2012

Approaching the story in the form of a letter made for an interesting concept, one that does neatly erase any problems surrounding understanding of some of the concepts introduced in the narrative. I enjoyed the overall plot of the piece, but it took till chapter three to truly get into the story. Had it not been written as a letter, it would have felt too fast paced.

>>1830031 Thanks for the criticism! I did feel that it was necessary to avoid lengthy descriptions of some of the concepts I've used. I tend to get overly technical otherwise.:twilightblush: I'm glad you've enjoyed the piece though, and will work on my pacing for any future stories.

Guess who it is!

Well done with the story. I truly enjoyed it!

>>1847243 Appreciate the help and the Fave. Now it's time for me to get back to work...:derpytongue2:

#5 · 199w, 6d ago · 1 · · Day One ·

The Cousin of Stone? I guess that name's going to be significant later on!

#6 · 42w, 6h ago · 2 · · Day Two ·

I sort of like the way that this story is all written as Twilight sending a letter to Celestia. Although as the chapter goes on I do have to remind myself that Twilight is not talking to me, but Celestia. Just a small thing I found, otherwise... I think this also deserves more attention than it has now. It has me on the edge of my seat at parts!

Looking forward to reading the rest of this Observation Universe. :twilightsmile:

>>6799851 Glad you're enjoying it so far. Hope you're ready for a ride! :rainbowdetermined2:

It was interesting reading the chapters as if the reader was Celestia...or a curious member of the staff. And while it's uncommon for exact details of an event, including dialogue, in a letter, I'm not surprised as much since it's from Twilight.

Thanks for the good read, now for the rest.:eeyup:

"Diety" should be "Deity" in the chapter title.

>>6954031 Thanks for that. I'm always misspelling that word, and the spellchecker doesn't seem to parse the title for some reason.

>>6954802 No problem.

In Firefox, at least, one-line textboxes have the spellchecker turned off until you right-click each one and hit Check Spelling. Worth a shot. (Although in general spellcheckers are somewhat less than reliable....)

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