Occational writer, more likely to write scenes, drabbles and the like than full stories. That said I have one long story in the works pushing 10k words and another longer fic in mind as it's sequel.
Six Elements of Harmony bound Nightmare Moon but only four stars are seen aiding her escape. Meanwhile the Doctor has a surprise that doesn't go as planned but can he fix it?
11th Doctor centric
Grammer and spelling corrected but if anyone finds any I've missed please tell me!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Some of the spacing here is a little off, I'm afraid.
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Think that's the spacing sorted now, I'll double check it again in the morning when I'm not so dozy
The best part of this story is how ponification is not something the characters can immediately adapt to. They are skittish like real horses and are not fully aware of how to control it (Amy running off in sheer fear). The only other story I've read that does this satisfactorily is Rebel Against the Night where the ponification of an entire world actively affects how battles are fought.
Given how quickly this fell down the list in the "recent" stories section, you should put a better summary of what to expect. This is a Doctor Who / MLP cross with emphasis on the Doctor Who part. Most of these crossovers start with assuming the audience is more familiar with MLP. This story assumes you are more familiar with Doctor Who (Series 5/6 being the main point of reference).
As for the dialogue, the story could use more banter between Amy, Rory, and the Doctor to establish their characters for people unfamiliar to current Doctor Who in general. In fact, you may need to include more explanations in story of who Rory and Amy are in context for MLP only fans to understand. Rory has slowly risen from the second hand pathetic boyfriend character to Mr. Centurion "Where's my wife" Badass. Amy herself is very outgoing and adventurous. The eleventh Doctor is also different than the tenth who was more "human." The whole Doctor getting sent to Celestia is very much like how the eleventh doctor seems to fall into problems or traps more often. Most MLP fans would probably be far more familiar with tenth doctor since "Twelve" and "Timelords and Terror" are written closer to the tenth than any other Doctor.
I'll try and sort that, I'm going to have to rewrite chunks of it since the reply I got from ED showed a ton of errors I completely missed : (
It's really hard to show minor grammar mistakes here or on ff.net so I'll leave that up to ED.
excellent story, i can see this going on equestria daily if it gets any longer
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Thanks for the support : )
I'd really like it too be as well but at the moment there are apparently too many technical errors for them to accept : /
Still I'll let it settle and read over it again once I've written some more of chapter 3. Hopefully a bit of distance will make them easier to spot : )
If you need help pre-reading, I can take a much closer look, but only with your permission.
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That would actually be a big help, it seems that for every point I spot I miss another two sometimes.
Most things that were pointed out by ED were fixed. There were a few points I didn't agree with so I've left them as is.
Currently working on:
Zecora's lines in chapter three,
Those take some thinking you can see!
Put in rhythm, rhyme and meter,
If gotten right the story's sweeter. : )
(And Zecora looks to be getting a fair amount of dialogue too! Yay!)
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I am not sure where to send you a pre-read review (and in what format). If you could provide info so I could contact you (through ff.net for privacy, for example) . We could do a google doc thing.
Sent a PM on ffn, with the doc links. I think I've got it set up right with the most recent edits of C1 and C2.
This is spectacular. As two of my favorite things happens to be MLP:FiM and Dr. Who, this story fits right nicely with me. It's also very well written.