• Published 15th Jan 2012
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Whooves, Doctor of Psychology - nowego



Doctor Whooves is assigned to Ponyville to assess the mental health of the Mane 6.

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Chapter 15: Day 15

Day 15

“Whooves.”

“Mmmph...”

“Whooves.”

“Ugh, go away.”

A single hair was telekinetically yanked out of my coat, causing me to yelp and start upright. “Hey...”

I blinked like an owl, taking in my surroundings. “How did I...” It came back. “Aw buck!”

I didn’t just say that in front of... “Uh, hehe, sorry Miss Sparkle.”

The Bearer of the Element of Magic looked at me, unimpressed. She levitated a plain box onto the coffee table. “I brought you some breakfast.”

I peeked out the windows. The sun had only just started edging over the horizon.

“Bit early for a bookworm, isn’t it?”

“Yes, well, I have some questions that I needed answered.”

The sound of the door into the waiting room closing caused both Twilight and myself to look over to see Rarity entering. “What a coincidence. Me too.”

I dropped my head. “Ugh, fine. But first...” My hoof went up pointedly. “Coffee. Or some semblance thereof.”

Rarity furrowed her brow. “Well, I suppose I could run back to-”

She was cut off as Twilight groaned in exasperation. Her horn glowed for an instant, summoning a steaming-hot coffee-filled styrofoam cup into existence with a white flash.

“...how convenient,” I mused.

“Is it fitting for his majesty?” she asked, sarcastically.

“Oh yes, it’s quite good.”

“Are you comfortable? Would you like a cushion?”

I set the beverage down. “Okay, shoot. What’s got your mane in a knot?”

“Yesterday... at the library?”

“Yes, I remember.” Here it comes...

“How did you know about my talent in organization?”

Oh. That’s it? I can still talk my way out of this clean! “Winter wrap-up. Don’t you remember?”

“Yes, and? How did you know about it?”

“Well I ought to. I was here for it.”

“Oooh,” she said rather ungracefully, staring into the distance.

“Did you have any questions that were actually worth waking me up at this hour for?” I was really surprised–thankful, but surprised–that I had actually managed to fall asleep.

“How about explaining how you know about my gem-spell? I don’t recall you being around to help with that.”

“Uh... why, don’t you remember? You told me about it.”

Rarity cocked an eyebrow.

“In that conversation we had?” I tried to wink without it being blatantly obvious to Twilight. She’s just an egghead though, right?

“Oh... yes,” she resigned, giving me a ‘this isn’t over’ look.

“So, we all good?”

“I... guess. I feel kind of stupid for making this up to be such a big deal,” replied Twilight, apologetically.

“Y’know, if you wanted to make it up to me, you could always...”

“Yes?”

“...never do it again.”

Twilight’s ears went flat against her skull. “Oh very funny.”

“I thought so.”

Rarity continued to scrutinize me as I sipped my coffee in silence.

“So, any word from Doctor Flat Line?” inquired Twilight after a moment.

“That’s a negative.” I kicked my rear hooves up. “Look, Miss Sparkle-”

“Why are you calling me that today? You know you can call me ‘Twilight’ like everypony else, right?”

“Well... I guess yesterday I didn’t have time for the formalities. Anyway, I was saying; don’t feel like you have to hang around. I know you didn’t know Colgate particularly well, so-”

“Whooves, a pony almost died! You almost died.”

I was really getting tired of being interrupted by that time. She did have a good point, though. I don’t even know if there is a documented case of death in Ponyville by anything other than ‘natural causes.’

“Fine. Your choice. Just sayin’.”

At that moment, the rubber-flapped doors swung open, revealing a bedraggled Redheart. Yowzer, she probably slept less than I did, I thought, standing.

“Oh, hello,” she said, obviously not expecting anyone in the waiting room at that hour.

“What’s going on?” the three of us chorused.

“I’m actually heading home from the night shift to catch some shut eye–it was a long night. Right now, her vitals are stable at least–looks like she’ll avoid a long coma. Still no sign of exactly when she’ll regain consciousness though.”

“I see.” I sank back down. I wasn’t sure what else I was expecting, but now there was just more waiting.

“We’ve moved her to a regular room... you could hang out in there if you’d rather. The chairs there are more comfortable I think.”

“What room?”

“213.”

I bolted for the stairwell. “Sleep well! Luna bless!” I yelled over my shoulder.

There’s only two floors in the hospital, so it was impossible to not be able to find the room, and hardly enough to cause labored respiration.

213 was a corner room, making it one of the few single-bed ones. All the curtains were closed, making the windows only identifiable by the glowing outlines they cast. Colgate herself was on her side, covered with blankets and hooked up to several monitoring devices that beeped annoyingly frequently. If not for her pale appearance, she might have been sleeping.

You stupid mare... you may be an idiot, but we still want you. I sat down with a thump by the side of the bed.

Come back...

“Ah! You’re here. How convenient.”

I whirled around, looking for the source of the untimely interruption. The unfortunate recipient of my glare was none other than Flat Line.

“Can I help you, Flat?”

“Call me Line. Doctor Line.”

I spaced out for a moment. Ouch, that’s so... me.

“...but as a matter of fact, your qualifications could help me out a bit here. Just your signature here,” he said, extending a clipboard. “Paperwork. You know how it is.”

I snagged the clipboard from him, flipping back a few pages. Yes, there’s a lot of paperwork and signatures mixed in with the medical community, but if there’s one thing I know from my limited contact with it, it’s that those actually mean things, even when there’s so many of them.

My bad mood from being interrupted only swelled as I flicked through page after page. “Is this... a certificate for the involuntary restraint of Colgate?” My teeth were almost grinding on each other.

“Yes... but I need a psychologist’s signature on the last page and,” he paused, reaching over to flick a few pages, “here on the third line.”

“Can I see the equipment? You know it takes special steps to restrict unicorns, right?”

“Of course,” he sniffed. “Everything’s by the book here.”

I felt another painfully familiar sensation wash over me. We would’ve gotten along perfectly a month ago, I realized.

By then, Flat Line had gotten the restraints from one of the staff and was lifting them out of their sealed medical package. A series of thick, bleach-white nylon straps floated out, followed by a ring made of some kind of engraved, yellow-toned metal, large enough around to fit a unicorn’s horn and maybe twice as tall as it was wide.

“This is it?” I asked, indicating toward the aforementioned ring.

“Yes... treated with a spell to inhibit any magic coming off the horn it comes in contact with. Why? I thought you’d be familiar with these.”

“Oh, I am. Just wanted to be sure.” I reached out with my hoof and flicked the ring out of Flat Line’s levitation cloud and onto his horn. He gasped for a moment, pupils shrinking to the size of a piece of eight, before his magic aurora flickered like a radio’s tune with bad reception, dissipating completely in an instant or two. The straps came tumbling to the floor.

Flat Line was visibly sweating, legs starting to loose their stability. With a firm hoof on his chest, I backed the helpless doctor into the hall.

“It’s ponies like you-” and me “- that cause this stuff to happen. Here’s a lesson from the future you: take a friend over a rulebook, every time.” I looked over to see the same freckled pink nurse from the night before, staring in shock at me and Flat Line, whom I had managed to push against the opposite wall.

“Miss, could you do me a favor and get a EMI-096 Patient Transfer Form? That is, unless Flat here has any objections.” Dumbfounded, the mare looked to Flat Line, who eagerly nodded. “No, seriously, Flat Line,” I said, taking my hoof off his chest. “Your approval would make this a lot easier. And by approval, I mean voluntary approval.”

Flat Line looked at me like I was crazy. I don’t blame him, honestly, but it’s still not the best kind of looks to be getting.

“Colgate’s out of danger from the effects of the spell now, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t have moved her here. So now she’s my specialty. Think about what’s best for the patient.

Flat Line blinked. “You just restricted me involuntarily and shoved me into a wall, and now you expect me to give you-”

“Yes. Yes I do. And you’re going to too, because you don’t have a single legit reason, by your books, not to transfer custody to a more qualified individual.”

I hated to play off the cold, by-the-book logic side of him, but I knew it would have worked on me.

He stared at me for a bit, but gave in after a few seconds. “Okay, fine. But if you screw anything up, the EMI will be hearing about it! This is still my hospital.”

And for those of you not familiar with medical terms, EMI stands for Equestrian Medical Institute.

The nurse scurried off down the hall after the requested form. I reached up and removed the magic-inhibiting ring from Flat Line’s horn. He looked at me in surprise.

“This might be a foreign concept to you, but seeing as how we’re going to be in each other’s proximity for a while, we might as well start on the whole trust thing now.”

I could see the gears in his mind trying to fit my behavior into his existing schemas.

“Trust... riiight.”

At that moment, the door from the stairwell burst open, a brown stallion with a cropped, light-colored mane busting in. By his uniform and belt, I guessed he was some kind of security.

“Freeze!”

Wow, I’m good.

“It’s alright. Nopony’s a threat here,” said Flat Line, slowing the guard’s advance. “And you can come out from the stairwell now, miss.”

The nurse’s pink head slowly extended out.

“Did you get the form?”

“You still want to give him custody?”

“Of course. It would be impolite to not return some of his trust,” he said, disdain dripping off the words like condensation from a bottle of sarsaparilla. He pushed his spectacles farther up on his snout. “Besides, after we sign the crazy fillyfooler off, she’s his problem.”

Ah, the truth. So bittersweet.

The nurse produced the requested sheet, keeping a wary eye on me. Flat Line looked it over briefly before deftly filling it out. That completed, he hoofed it to me. “I know you’re going to read it anyway, so I won’t bothering pointing out where to sign.”

He pushed me the form, which I looked over, beginning to fill out my section. It took a bit longer, what with not having magic at my convenience. I signed the last line with a flourish, right as a strange sound...

...Oh! Been a while since I heard a doorbell...

No, that doesn’t make sense either. The sound of elevator doors sliding open finally put the pieces together. I looked back at the two unicorn Bearers, who were exiting the elevator.

“Wow, Whooves, you can really move when...” Twilight trailed off upon seeing the strange scene that had unfolded in the hallway; Flat Line, covered in tangled straps, a confused security guard, the terrified look on the nurse’s face, and myself... well, in context of everypony else, acting normal was weird I suppose.

“Um... am I missing something?”

Rarity’s expression bore the same sentiment.

“Nope!” I replied cheerfully, lifting my hoof from the paper, letting it snap back to its natural scroll form. I tossed it to the nurse.

“I guess I’m done here,” commented Flat Line. He walked into the waiting elevator, the other employees of the hospital following him in. “Good day, doctor.”

The door slid shut.

“Should I be concerned about any of that?” asked Twilight, not convinced.

“Yes,” added Rarity. “Specifically the reasons behind the presence of the security and the indent in the wall?”

“Yeah, well, just for future reference, never try to make friends with somepony that’s too much like you. It’s really annoying, trust me.” Past or present.

“Okaaay...” wondered Twilight out loud, not sure what to make of my seemingly random comment.

Rarity peeked into Colgate’s room. “Gosh, she’s so pale...”

“Flat Line seems to think she’s past danger of slipping back. It’s just a matter of when she wakes up now... and her mental state when she does.”

“Well, that’s good news at least,” interjected Twilight.

“Whooves,” wondered Rarity, “you don’t think she’d... try it again, do you?”

“...I hope not.” Internally, I knew the real answer to that question probably was going to have a lot to do with what I said when she did come to.

“What now?”

“Well, I intend on being here when she wakes up. So I guess you know where to find me till that happens.”

“But it could still be hours yet! Days even!” protested Rarity.

“It’ll be what it will be. I appreciate the support, but I don’t need any pity. It’s my responsibility, both as a psychologist, and as the cause... partially, leastways.”

“Care to expound on that last part?” injected Twilight, adopting a more serious tone I haven’t heard her use as often, except in the more serious circumstances.

“Sorry, but no. It’s something she should have the decision to spread around if she wants, not me.”

Twilight and Rarity looked at each other.

“Whooves, we know we’re not going to talk you out of this...” started the white mare.

“...but you really need to get a grasp on things. Go home, take a shower...” continued her friend. I wondered if the last part was said for any particular reason.

“...get some supplies, anything you might need for the next few days, then come back. Don’t worry, we’ll be here the whole time.”

I turned it over in my mind. They were right, of course. I didn’t have so much as a blanket. “You’ll come get me if she wakes up?”

Twilight nodded. “Of course.”

“...okay. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I trotted toward the stairwell, slowing after entering to catch a tail of their conversation.

“...have you noticed he seems prone to obsessive tendencies?”

“Yes, from the moment I met him. Of course, it can prove helpful in certain situations.”

“For his own benefit, I hope he falls asleep in the shower.”

I moved on. Didn’t want to have that nagging feeling of guilt for eavesdropping on my conscience. Besides, it’s probably better that I don’t know what they think of me.

Outside, the sun hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn’t expected it to be that high already. My hooves pounded faster as I picked up the pace.

Turning the corner of my street, I trotted up to my door, fumbling for a second with the keys.

“W-whooves!”

I was tackled from behind with enough force to send both me and my attacker through the door, landing yet another dent in my drywall on the inside. Coughing, I waved the dust out of the air as I emerged from the pile of debris.

A sudden yank on my tail pulled me the rest of the way out. I regained my standing, turning to discover the identity of my attacker and/or rescuer.

“Ditzy?” I didn’t really know what emotion I was supposed to be feeling at the moment. I needn’t have worried, however. Ditzy had enough for the both of us.

“Whooves!” She hugged me tightly, but released as quickly as she had initiated it. “I... I’m s-sorry! I found the n-note, and I left... I’m so sorry... y-you didn’t want to be with me, and w-were going to l-leave. They said...” She sniffed for the eighth time. Her voice was cracked, and her eyes red from what must have been hours of crying. “...s-said...”

I pulled her into a hug, resting her head on my shoulder. She broke, unrestricted sobs wracking her body, causing it to shudder spasmodically.

“T-they... they said somepony had c-committed sui- suicide... said y-you had drowned! ...that you w-were dead...”

I stroked her mane. “Ssh...”

Tears soaked my coat.

“...a-and I knew it was bec-” She nearly choked on her emotions. “...because of me!”

Her body shook in my embrace as a new onslaught of grief overtook her.

“Now listen, you stop this nons-” I started, but was cut off.

“W-whoofs...” her voice was distorted through my coat, besides the fact that she was biting her lip. “...I’m n-never leaving. Never a-again. I’m here, for... for you, f-forever. Can y-you... forgive... me?”

A drop of red joined the clear.

With my hooves on her shoulders, I gently pushed her out of the hug, giving me room to look into her eyes. Those big, crossed, watery, amber eyes.

“No, Ditzy. No I can’t.”

A breath involuntarily escaped her. Her eyes closed.

“How could I, when you haven’t wronged me? Ditzy, look at me.”

She did.

“There’s nothing for me to forgive.” With that, I wrapped my forelegs around her, bringing her in for an enveloping kiss... encompassing, but not forced.

I could feel her hyperventilating chest against mine begin to slow with the passage of time. She needily returned the hug-like gesture, pulling her tighter into the intimate muzzle contact.

After several moments we mutually broke it, instead tilting our heads down, brows touching.

“Thank you...” she murmured.

“Ssh...”

“Sorry I...” she pulled back. “...got you all wet.” She sniffed, wiping her muzzle.

“You okay?” I asked, noticing the red bead coming from her lower lip.

“I am now... now that you’re here.” She managed a weak smile.

I put a foreleg around her. “Come on, let’s get cleaned up.”

A few minutes later, I was drying myself off with a towel... or rather, re-drying. Ditzy started to apologize again for shaking herself–a method which I had just learned was somewhat common among pegasi.

“Hush now, love,” I admonished.

She followed me into the kitchen, where I quickly began collecting quick, convenient foodstuffs into a basket.

“Um... what are you doing?” asked Ditzy from the doorway.

“The unfortunate truth is that somepony did attempt to end their own life yesterday. She’s recovering, but I need to be there when she wakes up... which might be a while.

“That’s horrible... why would anypony try that?”

I looked at her.

“Oh... did she love somepony?”

“That’s the problem. She’s laid many, but loved few, if any.” I moved to the next room, grabbing some covers and a favorite pillow. “And I’m responsible for making her see that.”

“Can you help her?”

“I don’t know.”

I paused in front of my phonograph. It’s heavy, but it sure would be nice... I added it to my paraphernalia.

“I... I’ll stay with you too.”

Shoulda seen that coming. “How’s Dinky doing?”

A pang of guilt tripped across her face. “Oh, yeah.”

I had my gear packed up into my saddlebags, waiting by the door.

“When will I see you again?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll find you. Besides, we have the rest of our lives.”

“...it won’t be enough.”

I smiled encouragingly, giving her a peck on the cheek. “Just remember not to think too much.”

Turning, I galloped towards Ponyville’s hospital. I knew the route pretty well by now, making good time into the building and up to room 213.

As I trotted down the hall, a raised voiced surprised me, my ears pricking up. Suddenly, as I approached the room, Lucky burst out into the hall, hooves scraping desperately to get a grip. Seeing me, he jumped to put me between himself and the door.

“Doc! Help me! She’s crazy! And she just won’t shut up!”

“Colgate’s awake?” I asked, startled.

“No, not her. The other unicorn! The purple one!”

“Wait, are you talking about-”

Twilight jumped out of the room, clipboard and a plethora of scrolls and quills floating around her in her halo of magic. “Wait, Lucky, I still have 312 pages of... uh, hi there, Whooves.”

She adopted a grin, that–for lack of a proper descriptive term–resembled the look a Cheshire cat has when it’s hiding something.

“-Twilight?”

“I was just asking a few... um... questions...” She looked at the ceiling, down the hall, at the carpet... at anything except me. “Rarity had to leave, had a... thing, at the... place. Y’know how it is... fashion calls.”

I raised an eyebrow at the lavender mare and her lists. “I understand. In fact, now that Lucky’s here, we can keep an eye on Colgate. I’m sure you have things to take care of back at the library.”

“Oh... okay, sure.”

I watched her telekinetically carry her belongings into the elevator. I smiled and waved. “Thanks again, Twilight.”

The doors slid closed with a ding. I turned into the room, Lucky following on my tail.

“Aren’t you even worried? Don’t you believe me?”

“Yes to both of those. But I’m not going to try to fix her on the basis of a conversation that occurred between you and her, specifically one that I didn’t hear.” I bent down next to Colgate, looking for signs of change. “That would have been one I would have definitely liked to listen in on, though.”

“No, trust me, you wouldn’t have. She asked a billion questions... and all about-”

“Romance. Or dating and related areas, anyway.”

Lucky nodded slowly. “How’d...?”

“Before all of... this,” I said, gesturing widely to the whole Colgate situation, “We had an interview scheduled on the subject for today. It’s her latest study subject.”

“Yeah... she’s still deciding if it’s a subordinate of friendship or a parallel priority. Whatever that means.”

I chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’ll nail her down eventually.”

“You’re going to what?”

“It means... ugh, nevermind.”

Silence dominated for a few seconds as I sat down, still looking at Colgate. I felt over-protective. Looking to the side, I saw Lucky watching her as well.

“Hey,” I started. “Thanks for saving my life.”

“No, thank you for saving hers.”

“Hey, that reminds me,” I said, tapping my chin thoughtfully, “weren’t you supposed to be at Sugarcube Corner?”

“What? Not that I knew of.”

“What do you mean? I told you when we were right there!”

“...all I recall was you saying something completely random... something about me being good with foals.”

I smacked my face with my hoof. “You were supposed to stay and watch the Cakes’ foals! Although, looking back, I can see how that might not be the message that got conveyed.”

“Ya think?”

I leaned back in my chair, only to receive a sharp complaint from my stomach. Darn it, I always forget about food under such circumstances. “Hey, want some granola bars?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

I tossed him one. He took a bite before spewing it across the room as the clock struck on the hour. Looking down at my own bar, I thought, I didn’t think they were that past date.

“Sorry, I’m gonna have to get a rain check,” he said, standing. “Gonna be late for work.”

“Oh, of course. Out of curiousity, what do you do?”

“I, uh...” He thought for a moment. “Gotta run!”

He disappeared out the door. Strange...

I looked up to see what hour the clock had struck. Seven o’clock. No wonder, then. Hay, it’s almost-

Hooves approaching the door, followed by a white head and pink mane signaled the arrival of Redheart.

-time for the night shift.

“Doctor Whooves.”

“Nurse Redheart.”

“So... I heard there was a bit of a showdown with Flat Line?”

“Not so much... I just managed to get him to sign over custody.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? I heard somepony got ringed.”

“‘Ringed’?”

“Y’know... magically inhibited.”

“Oh, yes. There was that.”

“All turned out for the better?”

“So far.”

Redheart went over to one of the machines, switching out an IV. “You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that. He’s needed something like that for a while. I just... never could give it to him. Guess I never had enough ‘devil-may-care’ in me for it.”

I had never really thought of myself that way. In fact, I always considered myself somewhat conservative in that respect. “Well, actually, as a nurse, it would be kind of stupid to do that. Unless you’re looking for a different area of work...”

She half chuckled. “Not so much that, but... well, there’s a reason I volunteered for the night shift.” She closed a panel on the machine, work apparently finished.

“Well then, thanks for giving it to him. Watch your back.”

“You too.”

She left.

And here I was, in a dark room with nothing but a granola bar, an array of make-shift bedding, and my phonograph.

Time to make use of that thing... I hope I brought enough disks to cover these last few days.

...Which, obviously I did.

That should cover it for the last couple of days. I shan’t bother to actually count.

And now I need to catch some serious sleep. If ‘serious’ is a healthy kind.

Goodnight.