A reply
It had been three days since Rarity sent her care package to Thunderlane. She Hadn’t expected much in return from him but she was still disappointed that he hadn’t at the very least replied. Rarity had put a lot of time and thought into the package, Thunderlane could have at least acknowledged it. But it was of little consequence, she had an inventory to do.
With summer quickly approaching Rarity was expecting the usual ‘wedding rush’ as she called it. Everypony simply had to have their wedding in the summer, so it was not uncommon for Rarity to get two or three wedding dress orders a week. After doing the royal wedding last year she was expecting that number to rise at least a bit.
“Personally, I think it’s overdone, ” Rarity said partly to her self and partly to her Persian cat Opal, as she trotted around the shop taking inventory.
“I personally would much prefer a wedding in the winter.” Rarity said to the white cat.
“The bride wouldn’t get as sweaty in her dress, their wouldn’t be any bugs to ruin the food and it would probably be a lot cheaper too. It’s simply more practical and original to have a wedding in the winter.” She mused while counting out white gemstones. Opal purred in agreement, batting a piece of lint around in front of herself.
Rarity was just jotting down on a clipboard how many yards of white, off-white, eggshell, light beige, extremely pale yellow, alabaster, and pearl materials she had when her personal doorbell in the back of the shop rang.
“I bet that will be a letter from the first the first of our blushing brides to be,” Rarity cooed at Opal as she headed for the door.
Rarity opened the backdoor, not to a new bride, but to a lanky yellow stallion with a bushy red mushed under a couriers cap.
“I have a letter for Miss. Rarity? From the Wonderbolts Academy?”
“Dear Rarity,
Thank-you for your generous care package.
The other cadets and I really appreciated some fresh fruit. Especially after eating the slop in the cafeteria. I never thought Sweet Apple Acre apples could taste better!
As luck would have it, I actually am in need of fancy outfit. I have a family event in Canterlot soon. So if the offer still stands, I’d like to get a fitting done and discuss the suit. I’ll be in Ponyville soon. The academy is letting us off for a few weeks. No doubt RainbowDash already told you though.
Write me back if you have any concerns.
Yours truly,
Thunderlane.”
“Oh dear,” Rarity muttered to Opal. “ I really hadn’t expected him to take me up on the offer of a free suit... especially not so close to wedding season.”
Opal meowed in indifference, turning back to the toilet paper she was working on unraveling.
Rarity continued to take inventory, all the while chattering worrying to her aloof feline.
“I suppose it won’t take too long. I should be able to squeeze him in somewhere...”
With that the bell above the boutique door jingled softly. The first of the future brides had arrived at Rarity’s doors. She could hear female voices floating in from the showroom. It would appear the bride had brought her maids along as well. “Oh joy..” Rarity groaned softly. She plastered her most cheerful smile on her face and prepared for the worst.
Rarity flopped onto her couch with a sigh. Opal flopping down beside her.
The past few hours had been the longest of Rarity’s career. The customer had to have been her most demanding and fashion blind client to date.
She was constantly asking if Rarity was absolutely sure that a bright hot pink wedding dress would be in poor taste. And if it was maybe possible for Rarity to create a 30 foot train for her? Of course in the same blinding shade of pink with a vile puke green trim. The brides maids and Rarity had spent hours trying to convince her that a white dress would be much more flattering, and that a 30 foot train was far too impractical. Finally they got her to settle on a white dress with a soft pink tint, and a much shorter train. A soft green bow to be tied behind her back.
At least the brides maids hadn’t shared the same awful taste in colour palettes.
Turning her head, Rarity noticed the opened bright blue envelope on the coffee table. A bright yellow bolt superimposed on the back. The letter from Thunderlane. Hopefully he had better taste.
“ A family event in Canterlot... I wonder what it could be?” Rarity pondered, hovering the note above her in a transparent blue glow of magic from her horn. She skimmed it over a few more times, but there were no clues as to what the event could be.
I know Thunderlane is from Ponyville originally, so what would his family be doing in Canterlot? I swear they all live here. Rarity contemplated, turning the idea over in her mind. Perhaps they have ties to the princesses? She pondered, reading the letter over and over again.
“No, no, that would be just silly. Ponies go to Canterlot all the time. We had Twilights birthday at Canterlot in fact.” Rarity said to Opal, who was preoccupied licking her own toes.
Rarity trotted off to her office, leaving Opal to finish cleaning her tiny toes in peace. Regardless of why Thunderlane is going to Canterlot, I need to set up an appointment with him for a fitting. Then I’ll have to start planning that wedding dress. Rarity sighed to herself, just thinking of all the work that was bound to come this wedding season.
“Well, I’d better get started.”
To be continued.
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Continues to be good. Plus your pacing is nice and leisurely, matching the mood of the page.
Just a suggestion, but it's an idea I tend to stick to...you might want to put the letter portion in italics to help visually distinguish it from the rest of the narrative so that it doesn't get confused with regular dialogue. I know you've already formatted it in such a way as to make that apparent, but I find that putting it in italics helps even more. Otherwise, keep up the good work.
Also...
Random capitalization is random.
GOOD NOW LET THE MATING BEGIN *evil laugh*
You have my interest
, so please do continue.
Hm, I like what you have so far, although it is a bit early to say for certain. My only real gripe is that there were some significant mechanical errors which is always a problem, but even so there were not enough of them to make the story hard to read. I am also slightly worried that this may be dead based on the chapter dates, but hopefully I am wrong on that.
Moar please
I like this, pity you cancelledit.