It's not marked as complete. I'm holding out hope for more.

And now it is.

OK, the ending was depressive but strangely fitting for this story. Thank you.

Damn. Just...damn.

I hope Twilight and the others have an epiphany from this. All he ever wanted was peace, and all they ever gave him...was hate.

What a sad ending.
I will be carrying this for a while.

Well my guess was...completely off target. Except the banishment/imprisonment part. Still though. Eesh, you can come up with some pretty grim stuff, you know that?

My knee-jerk reaction is dislike since I'm a fan of the canon Consequences story and I quite like the character of Emeris. Initially it feels like a twisted version of the original story that is dark for the sake of darkness. It slips a bit further down the enjoyment scale after that because one of my favorite scenes in the original was Gary's breakdown after Celestia acknowledged him as one of her little ponies heralding the beginning of his redemption and the end of his curse. This version just had things sink further into despair after a similar scene.

The ending I find a bit troublesome as well. Not the fact that Emeris essentially died, but rather because it was the main six who did it. Maybe it was understandable, maybe it was necessary (obviously only you would know for sure since we're dealing with magic), but the problem I have with it was that it took the decision out of Emeris' hooves.

Personally, I think I would have tried to make Emeris' sacrifice a conscious choice. Maybe the ritual failed and he decides to end his threat once and for all. Maybe the ritual goes wrong, but Emeris has enough self-awareness to end things on his own terms in a desire to save Equestria. Basically, give him the agency of choice rather than just have things go horrifically wrong.

Ultimately, I'm not going to give the story a Downvote because I don't think it's bad as such. However, I think the entire concept of Consequences works brilliantly as a Dark Comedy and this attempt to make a tragedy around the concept of a Gary-Stu feels a bit like trying to put a square peg in a round hole, so I can't really give it an upvote either.

I can however give you a downvote for the four thousand words that could have been put towards the next chapter of the canon story though, so eat it. (NOT SERIOUS)

5280075
There may be an epilogue~

5280098
You are welcome~

5280101
Not of their own free will, but yes.

5280123
That means I did a good job.

5280124
It's a (horrifying) talent

5280400
He actually did make the decision though. Celestia offered him a choice. He chose this, to be ripped apart and banished, because the alternative was further suffering and death of those around him.

He went into this knowing full well it would hurt, that it would be agony, and that at the end, he'd be returned to the horrors of the Beyond.

And don't forget, he let go.

5280400
Emeris isn't dead, because that would simply be too easy. We saw his true form at the end of the chapter, unbound; not a pony, but an eldritch entity of unimaginable power, unconstrained by simple reality. A horror exceeded only by the Great Old Ones themselves.

Something so terrible cannot be unmade so easily.

His name is Emeris Fillson. He was, he is, and he shall be.

M'ris Fhtagn

5280433 As long as the dawn comes, as it were. They realized how monstrous they were to him, and it hurts like blazes because, not only did they hurt him, but now it is too late to fix the damage they caused.

I saw that this was updated and i was all like
Then i saw it was complete and i was like

Self-sacrifice. There is no greater measure of a man than the willingness to give everything to save others.

Emeris, you truly were a good man.

than sad
but I have a question?
not have been better to go to an uninhabited , hermit life seems better than living in a world of unspeakable creatures, and perhaps they eventually find a cure for the curse but delayed years

Damn... that is grim as hell but oddly fitting...

Oh, that was just painful to read... My poor heart...

...

EMERIS!

The real sad thing is the main 6 will never know just how bad it actually is...

I would like to throw my vote for an epilogue.

Course I have no idea where you go and that makes it cool if you find you can do one.

I wonder if Celestia, Luna, and Twilight will go round and round about whether or not the right thing was done. That could be a fight that has severe repercussions.

Thanks for the entertaining stories.

Aggh! You're squeezing my heart!

This one kind of fell flat for me. I was hoping for a bit more than just this ending. You wouldn't have to go and write an entire alternate Consequences of Unoriginality, but it would have been more interesting if the story ended with the ritual having the same basic effect and a brief showing of how the various ponies treat him now that they can actually be civilized to him. Obviously it would be much shorter than Consequences, since there wouldn't be any real drama if/when he moved to Ponyville. As it is it seems like he becomes a monster just because you wanted to write it that way, not as a logical result of anything in the story (if anything I'd imagine that kind of pain would just render him unconscious). That, and him turning into what I think is a vaguely humanoid energy being, sort of a friendly and weaker Great Old One, highlights the fact that you never really explained what his deal was in Consequences or this fic. Regarding his dimension-hopping, I mean. He knows of the Great Old Ones and refers to them as real beings, and recognized Equestria from knowing about MLP, but neither story really does anything with that. I think you said there was a sequel coming for Consequences, so maybe it'll be important there, but as it stands if you had gone with the standard "human shows up in Equestria, nobody knows how" nothing would really have to change.

Sorry to keep including references to Consequences of Unoriginality, but this is a spinoff and I'm not sure it would make a lot of sense to someone that read this without reading the original.

5280497
5280101
They didn't want to, the curse made them hate him. Kind of like how none of them actually wanted to worship him in the main story. They can't really be held accountable because they didn't have any say in the matter.

5397201 Not the impression I got, but if that's the case then they're golden. Bet they still feel like garbage because of how things went, though.

5397215
The idea here was that instead of the ponies acting like they do in a Gary Stu self-insert fic (by metaphorically and literally sucking the protagonist's dick), they react with the kind of hostility that people like me do when we see those OCs. Also:

Twilight felt the terrible tugging sensation snap like a rubber band, and the horrible compulsion went with it. An almost beatific smile spread across her face. Finally, freedom. No longer compelled to assault and hate, she could act how she desired and tell Gary the truth.

This next bit is directed at Andoriol.
Actually, thinking it over I feel like that part was kind of clumsily worded. I get that the idea is Twilight is happy she isn't consumed by irrational hatred for someone she has no actual problem with, but the last bit sounds more like it's building up to a love confession than just her being nice like she wanted to be. Kind of a nitpick compared to my other comment but that was bugging me when I first read the quoted bit there. Also, despite all my criticizing I actually wish this had been longer because it would have been interesting to see Twilight and her friends interact with Emeris after the way they were forced to treat him. Or if you still want to go with the "turns into a monster" ending, it would be interesting to see them try to sort through their emotions since they more or less had to kill him after they spent two years (unwillingly) treating him like shit. For a society as dedicated to friendship and harmony as theirs, that has to be extremely traumatic for the ponies.

5397239 A good point.

5397201
You bring up fair points! I was actually debating on how to end this, whether to go with the current iteration of a more downer ending or a happier one, but my pre-reader made a convincing point that a downer ending fit the tone of this story better.

He became a monster partially because I wanted to write it that way, partially because he snapped, and partially for additional reasons (You're right, normal things would just go unconscious under that kind of pain). But it wasn't permanent, he actually came out of it just before he was banished, he did let go.

Sadly, I haven't really got to touch heavily on his nature yet in either story, seeing the form we did was more of a teaser for things that will be in the sequel to Consequences of Unoriginality. That and his dimension hopping are going to be expanded on in time. The whole "being a brony" thing I might actually just hack out, I've been looking at the story recently and realized that it doesn't really add anything to it at any level. A simple knowledge of wtf MLP is would be enough for the purposes of the story.

5397239
And yeah, that was clumsily worded, but I couldn't get much better without breaking the flow.

I'm playing around with the possibility of an epilogue for this, which I'll write if I have time and inspiration

5397344 It'd be nice to see an epilogue, if the muse strikes and you have time. I am also still interested by ideas of what would happen if his "curse" were to be lifted, but he otherwise remained unchanged.

Not a bad way to end this, but I feel it would have been more emotionally impacting if he did commit suicide, giving those of Equus time to reflect on who he was. and why he chose that route.

But then again, I have a different thought pattern, so yeah.

I can't see Celestia being that emotionally attached to him. And even if she was, she deals with mortals dying all the time and has a tight reign on her emotions.

She does not bawl. She would never risk reality by failing to banish a reality-breaking-thing.

This is probably the worst characterization of Celestia I've ever seen.

... Damn

Nyanthorlap

Nyarlathotep. And Cthulhu lives on Earth.

wow, would like to see a sequel of this alternate universe.

there's got to be more than this!
this needs moar sequel to it!
woot!

Now this gives an idea.

Is there any possibilities of you creating another alternate reality where emeris, as alway's, goes through with Celestia's plan (that involves the elements again) to save him only for thing's to suddenly go horribly wrong cause instead of this scenario or the original scenario of him losing his wing's, he instead loses all his poeer's and the Gary stu curse suddenly take's form, a physical form going by the name 'Gary stu' since it's literally the curse taking form on the real world after being separated from it's 'host' and in this case isn't actually evil but it's (since it's not truly a person or 'someone') action's and end goal could be considered flawed, astray, and think's that what it's doing is actually right, and and the Gary stu curse actually cares for emeris enough that it wouldn't fatally hurt him intentionally (but will still hurt him enough to keep him out of it's way) and is hellbent on exacting vengeance and (flawed) "justice" againt's the ponies that wrong emeris.

After this, I don't actually know where the rest is going to go, maybe emeris confront's the gary stu but instead of fighting it with equal power, it would be like the archer vs shiro thing from Fate/Stay night, a battle of ideal's, will's, rights and wrong's and so on so forth. I would like to know if you would consider this idea since it was stuck in my head after seeing that emeris lost control in this story and thought about 'what if the curse gets separated from emeris and Gain's a mind if it's own?'.

If nothing else it seems like he might have recovered some sanity at the last moment so he might have a chance in the beyond?

I hate bad ending.

5960306
She didn't bawl because he died. She bawled because she truly believed that he could be saved. There's a critical difference here - against death you can do nothing. This was not such a case, and the decision was made for her.