• Member Since 15th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 4th, 2022

Scott Grimm


I just write for fun. Don't take things too seriously.

E

Unknown to most ponies, even to her closest friends, Fluttershy has a baby sister who was born with a mental disability. On the first day of school, Fluttershy wants to ensure her sister has the best possible experience, so she takes matters into her own hooves. But after overstepping her boundaries, Blossom snaps back at her sister claiming she doesn't need her help. Now no longer taking help from her sister Fluttershy, how will Blossom fair on her own?

(This is in no way making fun of any mental disability.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )

:fluttercry:

I can fully understand how Blossom feels.

Surely some pony like Applejack could help out with Fluttershy's problem, right ? :fluttershyouch:


I mean AJ of all ponies would understand what it's like to have a sibling or two.:ajsmug:

Nice start...please do keep up the good work.

i enjoyed this and i hope you continue it

Lovely story, I enjoyed reading up to here. Something that annoyed me however, was that you used apostrophes incorrectly throughout the whole chapter, you didn't use them when they were needed and used them when they were not needed. I only noticed a few correct uses of apostrophes. This is not that important though, and do keep up the good work, I am enjoying this.

I know exactly how Blossom feels, and I feel the exact same way... :fluttercry:

1850711 Wow that sucks if your going through that right now, I feel for you man.

1849287 Yeah... Grammar and punctuation nooooooooot really my strong suits :derpytongue2:

1848824 I am very glad you enjoyed it. The responses have been good thus far so it's looking like I will continue it. :raritywink:

1848400 You would think so, but Fluttershys current circumstances are different then anything AJ and Big Mac would have.

1848333 :fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry: INORITE?!:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

Well I just loved this story and absolutely cannot wait for the next one!

Go now and post it! Hurry! Go post!:heart::pinkiesmile::rainbowkiss:

Teasing is never fun in class :fluttercry:

if blossom was my sister i wouldn't sit there and do nothing, i would stand up for her and protect her no mater what.:flutterrage::twilightangry2:

who's with me.

1880835 I would defend her, if she was in the same class as me and I knew about it :\

Thank you anyone/pony else

Name of story: Guardian Angel Fluttershy
Grammar score: 5
Pros:
very unique plot
solid, believable OC character
Characterizations all seem good

Cons:
various grammar/proofreading errors; misused apostrophes and wrong words

Notes: All and all a very good start to story. There's a lot of potential here. For the grammar problems I'd recommend just doing so proofreading work before submission (trick I use- wait a day or two to proofread, makes it less likely for me to just see what I meant to be there rather than what is there) or find an editor in one of the many groups.

Enjoy the review. When you have time, please check out my story Peice of Chaos

Thank you, and I'm looking forward to more :pinkiehappy:

Guardian Angel Fluttershy

Grammar score: 6

Pros:
- Good OC
- Interesting premise
- Interesting

Cons:
- This kinda bugged me a bit, but why is Fluttershy fine with speaking confidently over here own sister but not otherwise. Perhaps this could be explained more.
- I am not brilliant at grammar, but towards the beginning there seemed to be some typos...
- Unless those particular fillies are bitches the younger ponies seem far more prone to being vindictive and bullying than normal. This might be peer pressure, but I am unsure :applejackunsure:

Notes: A good start and I shall be interested in seeing where this is going, but I am uncertain of a few elements. These did not really detract from the story, so please write more :twilightsmile:

If you could review my story Winter Solstice I would be very happy :pinkiehappy:

It is a good start so far. I'd like to see more chapters in the near future. :raritystarry:

Autism and speaking problem certainly do not mean mental retardation by any measure. Many autistic individuals are rational, and loathe to be seen as mentally inept.

Very nice characterization of colts and fillies. Children are quite vile in speaking their minds like that. It's odd that we as adults don't wish to engage in a tongue exercise to outright roast a child for the venom that they can spill from their mouths at times.

Dang cliffhanger by the way. You had me hooked bad.

2874060 Yeah... I probably should finish this story huh? :twilightblush:

My brother has autism...usually, with the speech problem, it's not stuttering, it's more of a slur...its really confusing :applecry: ...the only weird thing is...I can almost always understand what he's saying :rainbowlaugh:

Please continue this.

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