• Member Since 11th May, 2012
  • offline last seen March 20th

Fluttering_Ashes


T

After months of brooding and sulking, Celestia's rage finally breaks. Convinced her subjects no longer love her she resolves to turn the monarchy into a dictatorship ruled by fear. Luna is forced to seal her sister within the sun and rule on her own for a thousand years before her return.

Ummm for any of you guys who are interested I've just started up a tumblr. Its nothing special but I'll be making it an interactive part of this story and future stories. If you want to see your ideas here I'll be happy to hear them out http://flutteringashes.tumblr.com/

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 36 )

After months of brooding and sulking Celestia's rage finally breaks.

Comma between sulking and Celestia.

Hm a good beginnig i must say. I follow

3 favorites in just a few hours?! :fluttercry: Thank you all so very much! I'm touched! I really am!

I LOVE THIS.....this is a great fanfic......you are a great writer....just wow i really like this.....:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::trollestia::moustache::raritystarry:

This great I cant wait for more already :pinkiehappy:

Poor Luna, I wonder if Sombra infected Celestia with something that would feed her negative emotions. I also wonder if Celestia is trying to sunbconciously protect Luna by keeping her out of her mind.

No offense, but I physically cringed when I opened the first chapter. It is imperative that you at minimum either indent each paragraph, or add an extra line break between paragraphs for readability; I recommend both. Some of the paragraphs are also rather long (especially the first one) but that's a more general issue.

Comment posted by Fluttering_Ashes deleted May 2nd, 2013

2516937 Oh you didn't offend. I'm well aware the first chapter needs work, but to be fair I was still getting into writing fanfics. I'm a little bit better now than I was then....granted not all that much given its only been a few months, but I like to think I've grown a bit better. I'll indent my paragraphs in the future.

I think it makes for a bit of an interesting twist the way you included Discord in the story. I also like how it seems that, in the time that he's been free, he's been able to acclimate pretty well to pony society and actually find a place in the world that doesn't involve him making everyone's lives miserable.
I wonder what it would be like if he and Luna teamed up to fight Celestia. Probably won't happen since their concentrating on curing her but it would be interesting.

2518781 Just gonna tell ya right now, and its a slight spoiler, but Discord is plan B. If the elements fail (and Discord will know since he'd most likely see cities in flames since Solar Flare is a little more mass murdery than Nightmare Moon) it'd be Discord's job to stop her anyway he can. Well technically plan B is the elements, an Discord is plan C

I dislike this chapter if only because it MIRRORS the actual show's first episode. :ajbemused::applejackunsure::fluttershysad::pinkiesick::rainbowwild::raritydespair::twilightoops::facehoof::unsuresweetie: I am doing something similar to this (DEFINATELY not copying) and I had the decency to make it different than the first episode. Change it up please. Also faces are fun.

2648516 ....mirroring the show is exactly what i intended to do, at least for this sequence. And do correct me if i'm wrong, but no one ever said that I can't write a parallel series of events.I am not changing the chapter, sorry.

ALso Lemon Hearts does not have a lemon cutie mark.

2651524I never mentioned her, i think you put that one on the wrong story

2652275 No.... Year 1000 part 1 says she met Lemon Hearts who has a lemon stand at the side of the road. :rainbowderp:

2653053 :rainbowlaugh: Sorry bro. Don't even remember what story that was from! :rainbowlaugh:

Say, I feel kinda dumb for asking, but just what is a Flutterpony.
Anyway, I like how you've set things up with Discord, Luna, and the other failsafes she's put into place. Though I wonder who the Elements of Harmony are going to be I have full assurance that this will be revealed when the time s right.
Good job so far.

2659942 Oh, a flutterpony was something from G1 that I sorta migrated over to my story since I didn't think it would fit quite as well if Spike ended up with Lyra. A flutterpony, in a nutshell, is a smaller pegasus (each one about the size of your average filly when fully grown, at least in my head) but with butterfly wings instead of your normal pegasi wings. Think Rarity in sonic rainboom, but downsized a bit and thats pretty much what you get.

2511486 And i know this is a long time coming, but let me put it this way. My headcanon for this series of events damn near became cannon when issue five of the comics by IDW came out.

It was cute, and made me smile.

3332664 I do wish to add

"Lulu! You got some splainin to do!!"

3332668 Hehe, I wanted to try to add something to that affect, but I think sheepish Luna is perfect to leave off on

3332890 It is. Don't change a thing about the ending.

3332898 Oh don't worry, I never change anything that made me tear up so much.

Very nice ! :heart::pinkiehappy::scootangel::raritywink:

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