hmmmm I'll give this a chance

Title: "Room for one more"

Tags: Dark Comedy Adventure....

A title like that and no shipping/romance tag? You now have my full attention.  * Proceeds to read*

an interesting start to what i hope is an equally interesting second act.

will begin watching with gusto

whats up with all the twilight fics i mean its not like I LOVE THEM or anything hehe

GO TWILIGHT(why did those horrible peaple have to ruin the name of my favrite pony and time of day)

by the way its not comical enough to be considerd comedy yet but im fin if you leave it that way

Skylight Blast

Thank you.

Biohazard

Yeah, no plans for shipping in this one. Too much going on

GodOfBrown

Image: http://tmcgrafx.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/fireDemon.jpg

>>405163405163

It's gets funnier and darker and... adventurerer

>>405189405189 well if i hadnt already tracked it i wouldve

do not sue me i have nothing

Curses, another great start to a story, and no second chapter yet posted to follow it!

Can't wait to see what's in store here, tracking eagerly

>>405271405271

I was debating with myself whether I would hold off until tomorrow to post both of them at the same time and, well, this happened. I won the debate by the way.

Second chapter in the workshop.

Twilight and Luna seem a tad shipped in this first chapter, but if you insist. I've enjoyed it so far, but I'm reserving judgement until I've seen more.

>>405329405329

Yes and no, friendshipping was what I was going for and I had an idea kicking around about Twilight watching Luna dance among the stars which found it's way nicely into this story. I hope the next chapter quells any rumours you've been hearing and entertains you all the same.

I loved reading this

>>405350405350 lol, all in good fun then? Eagerly awaiting the next chapter, then

Edit: The Department of Redundancy Department called. They want me to stop stealing all of their copies of the word "then."

Heh, I am not objected to the LunaxTwi friendshipping, not sure what others objection is.

On a side note, taking up the Fausticorn avatar is taking on a pretty big pair of shoes to fill, best of luck with it!

>>405423405423

>>405455405455 I made Lauren Faust laugh? I AM A COMIC GOD!

DAT Pic is BADASS

>>405436405436lol OBJECTION!!! (guess where thats from and you'll get 20% cooler)

>>405478405478

Aaggghh I see it everywhere!

Phoenix Wright!

>>405478405478

LMAO Phoenix Wright is best Pony Attorney!!!

>>405503405503Eeyup

I like shipping, but the lack of it isn't stopping me from faving. Want to see wat happens next! and cute friendshipping is good as well

This reminds me of Tom Servo's Room for One More Whore.

For criticism, I would say work with punctuation. There are a few sentences that could do with a comma here and there, either because it was missing or because something else had been used in its place. Think a little about how what you read sound in your head, then use that to decide wether to put commas (short break) or period (long break/new sentence).

I liked it, though. Faved for more

good first chapter/prologue, im interested to see where this goes

to bad there ain't a romance tag on it though, since i can see the setting for both a twilestia and a twiluna

>>407526407526

Ah, the cursed comma. Doesn't break a reader's attention so much as just annoys the hell out of the editor looking for where they went wrong, Thanks for the heads up, I'll look closely when I read through it again.

Second Chapter is nearing completion. Will definitely be done by tonight.

>>407566407566

Yes and no.

I went crazy(er) trying to decide whether I would have a romantic side plot like with Price but in the end it was scrapped. The love and affection we're seeing is between new friends and a mentor and her student (that she thinks of as a daughter). For me at least, it is more realistic and easier to handle, especially seeing as I know what has to happen and how that's going to affect their relationships later on the story.

I enjoyed that

Aaaaaaaaaand now I wish Scribbles was an actual MLP character. Narcolepsy, HA! Good chapter, I really enjoyed it.

>>410442410442

Thank you

>>410893410893

Adds a bit of relief to the tone. Lightens things up and when it is comically appropriate, falls alse-ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz

: Uhnnn, Havoc?

ZZZzhh-What?! Huh? -- Oh.

i usually dont like OCs, but scribbles seems awesome, another thing thats awesome is the story!

>>411777411777

Image: http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110419102213/mlp/images/4/48/PinkiePieBeard.gif

Thank you!

>>405692405692

I just realized you wrote Curls!

I love that fic! Need to pick it up again. It's floating around my favourites somewhere

The timeline of this fic is hard to piece together, but I am enjoying it so far.

>>413776413776

I think I fixed the spot where the confusion is.

Luna sleeps during the day remember?

>>412618412618 Um, wow Always makes me feel warm inside when I recognized

this is pretty good keep up the work..cant wait to see what happens next.

>>452521452521

You only have to wait twelve or more hours. I need to sleep but the next chapter is done and will be edited tomorrow.

It's a doosy

sweet! next chapter lol

>>457967457967

Being planned and typed out as I type this comment... somehow.

Glad you enjoyed it and are wanting more already!

Noticed a small layout gltich- Celestia's reply seems to have formating issues. (Unexpected linefeeds.)

>>459629459629

Did that fix the issue? On my end it is perfectly readable and such but I did notice it wasn't formatted according to how I write letters so that's fixed now.

Ohhhhhh! I think I know what you're getting at. Celestia is just writing in multiple paragraphs. That's why there's extra lines in the text.

I had to look up linefeeds by the way

>>460300460300

Fixed now. Every second line was only one word long- it can happen if you copy from a source document that doesn't have word wrap.

>>460385460385

Thanks for pointing it out! I didn't see anything wrong on my end so I would have just left it like it was.

Enjoying the tale I'm spinning?

You'd usually only see that kind on thing at certain screen widths/resolutions.

The build-up is certainly interesting, but the critical time will be when we start to find out what's going on... I'm guessing that's why you've switched to Twi...

How do you pronounce "Cuirass"?

>>460453460453

'Kwi' - 'rass'

It's french

one major question do you  have any questions for me to ask

awesome chapter, really liked it! i couldnt find any obvious errors, although i had to re-read a few sections of the story before i got what was going in in said sections; that's probably only because im a bit tired, but im mentioning it just in case its not just me. anyways, how long until the next chapter? no pressure though!

>>461539461539

What do you mean? Should you be having questions about the story? You should be wondering about why the wolves are riled up and if Samael is really trustworthy and what was that thing that Zecora thought was Rainbow Dash was and why Pinkie Pie's bottom left second molar was aching even though we know Discord is still locked up. And what will happen when the Demon Emperor finally decides to show up and how Equestria's military, which hasn't seen real action in centuries, will stand up to a battle tested veteran force with unknown capabilities. And how the Elements will fit into saving the world and so on and so forth. Those are the ones off the top of my head anyway.

>>462654462654

Awesome, thank you!

Which sections? I've been told my writing is sometimes hard to follow because I churn out chapters in one or two sittings. A stream of consciousness on to the page. It is good for speed but maybe not comprehension.

The next chapter is planned as well as the next one after that and I'm planning on releasing both sometime during the week, Friday at the latest.

It'll be a double update that concludes the first act. Like the season finale this weekend! Ah, see what I'm doing?

>>463309463309 yes

awsome chapter. keep it up.

after this chapter, more than ever, i cant get over that there isnt a romance tag on the story, maybe its just me; but the celestia part was screaming "romance tag warning" in my face. (twilestia romance to be exact) maybe its just my brain finding small pointers which i interpret in the wrong way.

is there any way we can have a drawing of Samael?

another thing, did you mention how many equestrian defenders there are? (if you did; i cant remember)

anyways, awesome chapter! looking forward to the next one!

>>472199472199

Thanks! and in case you were wondering about Celestia, I'll tell you. She's cracking.

Image: http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/110/1/4/samael_by_uikd-d4x0obi.png

That's as close as I can get on such short notice. I'll find a better one and use it later.

I've been hinting the Equestrian military is under strength or otherwise engaged elsewhere since the beginning of the story. Luna hints that Equestria is currently engaged in islands to the south. Celestia keeps fretting about it. Applejack is bitter that Canterlot could only spare five hundred ponies for Ponyville.

>>472522472522

thanks for the picture, i have some thoughts about it, but i think ill take that in the blog you posted a few minutes ago instead.

about the military; two hundred thousand 'elite' demon soldiers....ouch! i cant wait to see how this turns out!

>>472677472677

'Dark' for many reasons. That is one of them!

>>472199472199 I have permanent shipping goggles.

>>473317473317

i have shipping goggles for twi with luna or(/and) celestia, its the reason im unsure if i really do see possible romance between celestia and twi

>>473317473317

>>474650474650

I rewrote the first chapter. It has less shipping and more friend-shipping. That should clear up the Twiluna everyone was seeing.

As for the Twilestia everyone keeps seeing. That's intentional.

>>474661474661

oh, how i hope that you're not feeding me (and the rest of the readers with a twilestia addiction) false hope

>>474731474731

Always have hope.

Price didn't have a romantic sideplot until it was mentioned in the comments and I wrote it into the story. Room For One More has something already in the works that justifies all this buildup so do not fret and do not worry. I have a plan.

wow this is getting [pretty grim fo rthe ponies, please tell me this will have a good ending to it not just one where all ponies are destroyed..?

>>478772478772

It'll have an ending that is satisfying, bittersweet, and provides closure.

I write all my fics like this. I make it bloody close...

But don't you worry about your favourite characters or Equestria itself. I love them just as much as you do.

Daemons in Equestria, Timber Wolves attacking ponies in a directed fashion, a Changling of a sort, and an cross-plane war? You've drawn my attention in the most effective fashion! The few secrets of the story so far are enough to keep me guessing and predicting! I need to know what happens!!

I am frightened by this. Thirteen Legions of Daemonic soldiers, and all of them have been set upon the innocent world. How unfortunate. But what can you expect when your world is so fertile, beautiful, and, most importantly, unguarded. This will either end badly or very badly.

>>498717498717

When I thought up the story for this way back when, the first thing I thought when I finished the plan was, "Oh dear... I don't want to see them go! "

The story will be tense, it will be dark, it will make you laugh, but the end is my secret.

>>500490500490 I have no doubt that you carry many dark secrets, my friend. I won't pry, for I value the story too much to have such details revealed before their time.

th-th-they got fluttershy... NO NO NO the deamons will pay dearly for this and i wonder if gale survived next chapter then anyway this is really intense i hope things get better and i do hope they get flutters back soon or if she gets corrupted all hell will break loose *twich*... *twich*

anyway so far so good keep it up looking foward to the next chapter.

god this story is getting heavy.

>>598259598259

Hopefully in a good way.

>>598103598103

Tune in next time to see what happened to Fluttershy!  

please tell me this is going to have a decent/ happy/good ending , cause as it stands now all i see is death and destruction everwhere, with almost no hope to save equestria.

>>598294598294

As I have said before and will say again, tomorrow is life's second chance. Things are always grim to start and get worse before the end but tomorrow brings a new day to make things better. Just because you lost something or someone doesn't mean you can't continue living, continue fighting. That was what Vic was trying to tell Twilight before the end. That just because you lost someone doesn't mean you can stop. Until the journey is over and the enemy defeated, keep fighting.

It's a theme that you will all become familiar with should you choose to continue. The pony you route for may fall or fall on hard times but no matter what, the story must continue.

And yes, I did write a good ending.

Fluttershy froze. No one had grabbed her and she had been left out in the open. Bullets fired at her kicked up plumes of dirt and cobblestone. She screamed but no sound came out, fear paralysing her vocal chords.

Looks like these demons have the accuracy of an Ork without any of the DAKKA to back it up. Also, these demons have the half human half goat design right?

>>602538602538

Ork Aim!

YOU WIN THE PRIZE! I never in a million years would thought anyone would've guessed it so soon!

And yes, I posted a few pictures in my blog describing what the demons look like.

As for the lack of Dakka (shooting expertise and quality long range offensive weapons in layman's terms), I can explain their style of battle very simply. Killing at range isn't as fun as close combat. They've been doing this whole 'war' thing a lot longer then anyone else and have come down with a few simple tactics. First, long range bombardment. The fire raining down from the skies proceeds every major engagement and causes chaos on the ground and in the air. Two, the fast movers which you will get a description of later preform bombing runs after the ground and air troops move in, giving more cover and more of a chance to get into close combat. And three, Elite troops move in and mop up the remaining defenders after the regulars have thrown them into disarray. You have only seen the elites once, guarding Samael. They're the red nasty things with wings.

Next chapter will be up in good time and will quell your worries, or exacerbate them depending on how much you like Ponyville.

Cave Jonson, We're done here.

a few chapters from now (in which fluttershy has yet to reappear):

"all hail the new lord of demons! FLUTTERSHY!" - important looking demon guy

"um, hey everyone..." -fluttershy

just a silly thought i had which i decided to share

so everyone of their guards died besides Cuirass (who was abducted) and gale (who fled)...and they are also missing fluttershy, which means that they cant use the elements. i absolutely LOVE how you make out fights in this story, i want to ask though: the equestrian military's fire arms; im guessing that they aren't using muzzle-loaded minié bullets like the demons are, since you were talking about twi loading a cartridge? that would mean that the demons' firearms are quite inferior to the equestrian military's, wouldnt it?

on another note; i hope there's going to be some fighting which include twi among others (meaning that she isn't just dead weight in fights, while at the same time being the absolute victory condition for both sides)

>>608514608514

A few things,  Cuirass fled rather than fight. Gale was thrown out the window with three demons attached to him and you're so very close with Fluttershy!

Yes, the Equestrian military has better fire arms than the demons who use muzzle loaded muskets and such instead of the single action cartridge rifles used by the ponies. Notice how they were able to pin down the demons on the street with the sustained fire of Cuirass and Gale while it took many more demons to pin the ponies down at the fountain.

And yes, as you have no doubt guessed, I've sent Derpy, Lyra, and the mane six, minus one, along to Canterlot. We are going to see much of the nastiness of war as performed by the ponies aforementioned. There will be blood, as is said.

As for Twilight wrecking demons and wolves, that will happen buuuuuuuuuuut won't happen the way you expect.

You love the action? Thank you! Plenty more of it planned for the story, believe me. Lyra gets a few parts, Zecora shows her stuff. Even Derpy has her moments of badassery. All will get there day in the sun as much as their day in the mud.

Tune in next time to find out what happened to Fluttershy. Why the wolves are so restless and will Celestia let Samael live? All in the next chapter!

>>609277609277

"Cuirass fled rather than fight. Gale was thrown out the window with three demons attached to him"

okay, i mixed it up, i was very tired, that wouldnt usually have been a problem; but add my allergies to that...

"you're so very close with Fluttershy!"

"As for Twilight wrecking demons and wolves, that will happen buuuuuuuuuuut won't happen the way you expect."

so twi will be kind of badass but not badass in the sense that im thinking of...ooookkkkaaaayyyy. how do you what im thinking?

what im really really starting to spin my head around is this sentence, from the description:

"Twilight Sparkle is thrown into a battle for her very soul as the powers of this world and the next vie for her allegiance and she doesn't know where to turn. Her choice should be clear right? Right?

A story of trust, questions and betrayal"

>>610359610359

I have an idea of what my readers think because I have a grasp of human psychology and have crafted the story just so...

I think.  

Twilight Sparkle is a very powerful unicorn, possessing an almost plot device like power, so it would logically follow that she would take part in the defense of her country.

The way that has always been the case is Twilight fighting alongside her friends buuuuuuuuuuuuuut I've written the story to muddy the issue. Fluttershy is beyond their reach so the Elements' use is in question and you know someone is going to be betrayed by the end.

You forgot a quotation mark for Twilight towards the beginning. Right where she's giggling, but can't remember why.

And thus, Fluttershy got her greatest wish granted. She became a tree.

Also, even though the Fluttershy-abuse is kind of shocking, she is turning out to be a complete badass in this fic. she has this whole quiet confidence and determination thing going for her, it's much better than the pathetic wet blanket she usually gets depicted as in other fics. Nice work I say, five yays

>>873637873637

Thanks, everything I post has typos of one form or another.

>>873647873647

When I thought up the plot point, I laughed for a solid minute. It was too perfect! The problem was separating her from the rest of the cast.

>>873706873706

Although, I am curious about Gaia's angle in all this. Sure, she might not like ponies because they are kinda controlling when it comes to nature

but surely demons will be worse right? unless they are really environmentally conscientious demons

>>873733873733

Like Samael said, the Demon Emperor creates new Hells wherever he goes. So in a way, yes, the demons are worse.

Remember how Celestia wrote to Twilight saying that something woke up and wasn't pleased? That was Gaia, waking up in a world where she has been forgotten by the mortal races. Gaia made the world, as the legend goes. Being forgotten is unsettling for such an old and powerful being. You'll learn more of her motives in the chapters to come I assure you.

i finally remembered from where that demon "fight" reference was from

i remembered just at the end of the chapter.

good work btw, a few mistakes yes, but as i said, didn't really disrupt the flow!

and now shy's a tree

lastly: need MOAR!

ok this is getting good.

>>17076761707676

...

I have another chapter to write over the holidays. Time to save this sunken wreck.

>>17258811725881Oh, so it's not abandoned then? It's been sitting on my plan to read list because I wasn't sure if I should start reading. I'm looking forward to seeing how it goes

fluttertree? aw, I thought that when I finally wrote that, It'd be original.....

Gaia is a jerk. Fluttershy has a choice, he doesn't get to take it from her.