AJ Sleeps in

So basically AJ sleeps in not really sure what else there is to put. First attempt at a slice of life thing so dont expect any sex gore action or violence

And FYI I JUST REALLY LIKE THE PICTURE

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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Yasturo

Yasturo #1 · Dec 15th, 2012 · 1 · ·

Herp Derp, looks good. Watching it

Autumn Wind

Autumn Wind #2 · Dec 15th, 2012 · · ·

That was pretty cute, and well developed for what it was.

Your grammar and spelling seem to be pretty good, though you have a few obvious mistakes here and there. "Preformed."

Also, some of your sentences are rather clunky: "Blood now pumped more vigorously to her face, and she had now become aware of the biting cold assaulting her face. Instinctively she drew the covers up above her face, only to leave her feet exposed." (Three "her faces" in two sentences.)

I would strongly advice rereading your fic and correcting such things, as I am currently under the impression that you wrote this and tossed it here without taking the time to review it.

As a writer, you definitely have potential. I encourage you to keep practicing.

Quick mention: You mention a picture but have added none. Also, I don't think this fic needs an Alternate Universe tag. It feels pretty in-universe to me.

Finally, you might want to make the short description on the fic something different to just the title in all caps. It looks a bit silly on the front page.

Listie The Scribe Maid