• Member Since 17th Jul, 2012
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BlackRoseRaven


Deadhorse.

Sequels1

T
Source

This story is a sequel to Zecora's Pinata


Cadence has a secret, knows there's something else she'd really prefer doing in life. But after Shining Armor is kidnapped in broad daylight, she knows she has no other choice but to use these skills to get him back. Here's to Rust and mrmayortheiv for their suggestions.

Second story in the Songs for Lost Children series.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 68 )

1765622

Thanks very much. I hope it proves enjoyable.

Looks awesome! I shall point my thumb to the sky as I read! :scootangel:

Now that was awesome! Cadence was such a badass! Also, do you have a thing for warrior princesses? It's just that I'm noticing a pattern...

This was awesome Blackrose! Another great story.... and I have to agree with Rust... I HELPED :rainbowkiss:

Seriously though, 16500 words. in. one. day. You are a beast!

......... Until proven otherwise, in my mind this is canon.

And in other news: "Aliens."

1767231

Thanks very much, and for the faves, too. But for once I can totally say someone else definitely suggested the badass Cadence part. Which. Clearly is a very bad sidestep. So I should probably just say 'yes' and hope that I pull it off well.

1767534

Yes. Yes you did. I never thought of badass Cadence before, honestly. Thanks for the fave and the suggestion and hope you enjoyed.

1767965

Thanks for the fave and... yes, because otherwise I probably would have just done Cadence. But you were the first to note Shining Armor and the most convincing, all-in-all. I'm glad to hear it was enjoyable for a quick short.

1771235

Thanks for the fave and... well, I think I probably. Went maybe a little crazy with the everything. But now I'll be thinking of Cadence beating people up for the next few days myself, so yes.

At first I thought this might be just a random story (not that it isn't) showing off Cadence and Shining Armor beating up ponies. But nope, it's not that simple.

Small cast, but fits the one-shot. Cadence and Shining Armor are enjoyable to follow and the two interacting is definitely the highlight. It was nice to see how she reacts differently to say, Celestia, then to Shining. And fun to read Cadence's little tiara quirk (twas most amusing). Overall I found the characters well represented with great interactions (what I find you do best).

Aside from Cadence being BA, at first I thought it was going to fit in completely with the main series (not that she isn't or couldn't be BA), but then you sneaked several hints that shows that it goes in with your 99 Worlds deal (in which, I presume, at the center lies the true world. Making everything you write technically fitting in). Cadence coming down as a shooting star was the first hint, as similarly (as I recall) Celestia, Luna, and Sleipnir arrived to their world. Makes me wonder who this Cadence might have once been... Second was the mysterious 'dragon'. Not too much of a description of him, but it's enough, surely it is none other then Valthrundir.

The descriptions were good, but, as always, your fight scenes blow everything out of the water. Well done. Sometimes I find myself skimming such scenes, but yours I find difficult to. I enjoyed reading the flashback/backstory because of it's fairy tale like presentation, and it makes for an excellent backstory at that.

All in all a most excellent story to add to your repertoire!

1775703

Well, you know me. I see something, and I have no choice but to twist it as much as possible. I'm glad you found the character interactions enjoyable: it was a little tricky, because I wanted a relationship that would reflect their characterization, but I didn't want to copy Luna and Scrivener.
I'm glad that you were able to catch the 99 Worlds hints, too. You called both right, yes... and I am glad the fairy tale remembrance fit in nicely. I wanted to do something semi in the style of what I did in Decretum, but make it a little more... broad. This seemed like the best way to kind of link things together and clear things up. And of course I'm very glad to hear that you thought so much of my combat scenes. I just try and make sure it flows out properly and make sure I always have some mind-scarring villain appear.
Thanks for the favorite, too, and I'm just glad this ended up being good overall. As always, I really appreciate the comments and hope I continue to write stuff worthy of reading in the future.

An excellent story!

Do you plan on continuing the saga of Cadence and Shining Armor? :applejackunsure:

1779132

Thanks very much. And... I'm not sure, to be honest. It's possible, but I think I'm going to work on something else first. Maybe. Possibly. I am but a slave to the will of my hands.

1806689

The 99 Worlds stuff mainly concerns the Natta Edda, a series I did. It's six stories, starting with Moonrise, and goes through uh... quite a lot. It's kind of the universe that all my stories are set in, and pretty much everything ends up connecting back into the stories of the Edda in one way or another.
Thanks very much, though: I'm glad you found it a good read, and the fave is quite appreciated too. Sombra I actually had in mind for this because I don't think he'd fit much into any other stories I did or may do, but for this he seemed to kind of fall naturally into place for the role. That and I always end up playing around as much as possible with characterization whenever I get half a chance to.

1806903

Not really. There's a few tongue-in-cheek allusions that some people have picked up on, but nothing major. Most of my shorter stories and one-shots are like that, you don't need to tackle the Edda to understand what's going on and put most things together.

Been wanting to re-read this, but things. I did find this song, reminded me of the story.

When I saw yesterday that this had updated, I dropped what I was doing and switched over to read it. I really enjoyed the first story, so I was very excited to read this. I had always wondered if this Cadence would be returned to (If not in another story set here than in a visited world).

The cast has expanded, we get another princess, some guards, and a half-changeling. Its always interesting to compare other versions of Luna to the one from Blooming Moon Chronicles. If I was more of an analyzer I'd get really into that, alas, I am not. Miss Take is intriguing, looking forward to see how she pushes the main couple. Will it bring them closer? Or apart? (Which idea is actually not too subtly hinted at the very end). Cadence is very much pushed by her desire to know of her past, which is understandable. It'll be fun exploring it.

As always, looking forward to see what you write! (Now to get back to reading through the mammoth 'Glory Be', which is nearly as long as the Harry Potter series alone.)

3536391

Thanks very much. I'm really glad to hear that since. You know. Been almost a year and all that since I posted this and I wasn't sure if anyone would even remember it by now. But it was something easy to get me back into a little bit of ponywriting, which was much needed. I probably won't have the time to continue this until January, but I kind of have an idea of where things are going now, and the future chapters should be more encapsulated and episodic.

This is absolutely fantastic! I've been looking for a story with a Shining-Cadence battle couple, though I think Shining can probably stand to be perhaps a little more helpful here. There are a few problems with some of the dialogue, which has periods in weird places sometimes and is a little distracting, but other than that, this is just great. I would devote more time to other means of drama other than combat if I were you; not every chapter has to have some kind of action in. Then again, it is your story. Needless to say, this has become one of my favourites on the site and I greatly anticipate future updates.

3724033

Thank you kindly, I appreciate that, and the fave as well. I really have just been kind of. Ambling along with this as a kind of personal time thing. It's not really meant to be a serious story or anything, but I am glad that it's enjoyable. It's just. Something to write ridiculous action sequences in with a vague storyline. And the periods thing is kind of a thing that shows up in a lot of my work. It's a weird little tic. I have a lot of weird/bad writing habits.

Shiny is going to end up in the doghouse if this keeps up

Holy shit, this is featured!

Congratulations on a spot in the featured box. It's about time people started to realize what good writing is.

This chapter held several surprises for me. One of them being that the 'dragon' mentioned in the first chapter- when this was just a single chapter story -who gave power to and corrupted King Serenite was Valthrudnir. Second was this:

My daughter was a gift from Heaven... she fell on a lucky star, and she has always carried that fortune with her. And that same luck will carry her far away, where neither you nor I can hurt her.”
“What?” Valthrudnir frowned, then his eyes suddenly widened before he snarled and seized the king by the throat, hauling him up to eye level as he snapped: “What are you talking about? What do you mean, a 'lucky star?'”
The king snarled... then suddenly grinned, whispering: “She was my daughter. She brought hope, happiness back to me after so many years... alone, defending my kingdom from the barbarians, every day wondering if I was doing right-”
“I am not interested in your life story, Serenite! Did your daughter fall from the sky?”

I doubt you'd believe how wide my eyes went at these revelations. The identity of the mastermind behind everything, and the heavy hint to where Cadenza came from, and in turn the implications that they bring forth.

“Daughter, you know what the point of this puzzle is.” King Serenite said gently, and Cadence sighed before the king asked again: “Who do you leave behind?”
“None of them.” Cadence replied, looking up at her father with a smile, and he tilted his head before she said softly: “I let them all escape and stay behind myself. I know enough defensive magic to protect myself even if the building collapses on me. I have the best chance of survival... and it would be wrong to rush in to save them, and then abandon one pony because it was too hard, because my life was put at risk.

It seems as though King Serenite/Sombra really took what his daughter said to heart.
I love the light you're shining on Sombra here. He may have been turned into a monster, but he held on just enough to lay the groundwork needed to save his kingdom.

Right now there's a few questions at the forefront of my mind.
-Will we find out who Cadenza is?
I don't see how these ponies would be able to unless Valthrudnir returned. Which, depending on if this is connected to the '99 Worlds Saga' may or may not be possible.
-I sort of just covered this one... but, will Valthrudnir or Thesis return? I suppose only time can tell.
-Is Serenite completely gone now, or is there some of him left somewhere in Sombra?

Edit: I just read some comments here, and I realized that someone noticed the connection to your '99 Worlds Saga' right away...
I'm not sure how that makes me feel.

3835302

Thank you. I. Really have no idea why or how, but hey. I'm glad people are liking this one.
From the start, the idea was sort of... she's one of THOSE ponies. But I never meant to really build on that. As the story's developed, though, since this one is supposed to just be kind of... you know, no-stress writing where I just go with what comes to me, it's gotten more heavily involved in that universe.
Also I really wanted to write about a younger Thesis. And someone beating a young Thesis at his own game. Even though whenever I think about Thesis I get sad.
I never kind of thought I'd expand too much on Sombra, either, but I'm glad I did now and that this story's developed past it's initial "I want to write something ideas plz" start. There's only a few chapters to go, but even though I'm trying not to get super-into-things, this story's giving me a chance to expand a little on things I was only able to give glimpses of in the big universe story.
Your questions will all be answered in time, though, that I can promise. And no worries. I was actually surprised myself that a few people caught the reference. I originally was going to leave it so this story was 'maybe-connected,' although now it's clearly graduated to 'definitely-connected,' yes.

I figured cadence was going to be some sort of amnesiac ancient warrior, wasn't expecting valthrudnir to show up and clear up that picture, and a younger but still insecure thesis as well.

excellent chapter sir, as expected. just a quick question: where does this fit timeline-wise with the rest of your stories?

3954603

Thanks. I was more worried about this one because it's delving into a lot more crazy. But uh, this runs roughly parallel to Zecora's Pinata and thus occurs post-Glory Be.

3955220
Thanks for the info, and after reading the rest of your stuff, this barely registers on the crazy meter.

This story sure is updating a lot for one having the title of "On Hiatus."

3961267

It was delayed for around... a yearish, I think, and now it's finally just about done. But it could be finished and posted tomorrow or in a month from now depending on how busy I am, so I'm just going to leave the status until it's complete.

3961568
If it's getting attention again, it's not on hiatus anymore. You should probably set it to incomplete: I only faved and tracked it because its my habit for all faves, and many people might just read it, fav it, and leave it without knowing you're going to be updating it. On hiatus stories pretty much mean dead ones around here, and this story definitely isn't.

3960400

Really? I have no clue why. But it's nice that people are liking this story so much, at least.

Is this Taken with Cadance as Liam Neeson?

If it is, I will give you this many penguins.

From the description, I'm imagining this is one of those "we need to win a dance contest to raise enough money to save X" type stories. Heh.

3965931

That's not a horrible way to describe the start of the story. Then from Chapter Two on it gets much crazier.

Now that was just the tits, mate. Bra-vo.

5/5 would will read again.

3972949

Thank you very kindly. Although really, your idea helped kickstart all this. I never thought about writing anything about Cadence until you suggested something. But I'm glad that it proved so enjoyable, since the story ended up. Crazy and a vehicle for more craziness in the future.

This story seriously needs some better cover art... No offense to whoever made it.

...you really love ellipses, don't you? In prose, which I find a little strange. In dialogue, sure, as its pretty much just shorthand for "he/she paused," but I'm a bit perturbed by its incision here as a bit of a paragraph break within a paragraph.

Not the first writing quirk I've seen on fimfiction, and certainly not the worst, but I can tell its going to bug me every time I notice it.

Also, it needs some proofreading. I noticed several errors and I'm only about a quarter of the way through the chapter. If the writer is actually paying attention to these comments (Which I hope he/she is), then I wouldn't mind helping with some proofing and editing. Right now, there are a lot of simple mistakes that need to be fixed. Since you're recommended by one of the writers whose opinion matters to me, and your story is actually good, I feel like it should look its best. This story deserves that much.

3983930

I have a lot of little eccentricities in my writing, but uh, I never noticed how much I used that in particular, actually. Huh. Thanks for pointing that out. I'll have to remember that.

3984632

Thanks, I appreciate that. I've never actually had much luck finding a beta of any kind, and this story in particular is going to be pretty rough because this is all first-draft stuff. I mean, this first chapter, for example, was literally written in one day and posted in the evening. I'm honestly surprised that it's been recommended and people like it so much because really, the entire plot is "Cadence finds reasons to punch people in the face."

As soon as CK said it was pinging decretum, I had a feeling our favourite disembodied head would show up...

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