Sounds epic Im really enjoying this already!

Long chapters 1-2 times a week? Epix

Totally tracking

Well this look interesting, Tracking.  

One thing always annoys me when I read about equine joints 'bending the wrong way'.  I never see it that way.  I look at the comparative anatomy of the skeleton, and you see clear correlations to parts in human legs, but the placement of the joints is different.   The joints bend the same way they do in human limbs, but are just in a different position.

The upper bone is much shorter than it is for a human, and usually people don't realize it is there when they view the horse.   It's more like the bones in the foot are now taking up half the length of the leg, so the 'backwards' joint is more like an ankle than a knee.

Looks like an interesting concept, tracking to see what comes next

So a human (I think) from the future? Also, how did he not pick up on the word "Sir"? If they didn't have males, they wouldn't

t have the word sir would they?

Well I guess he was tired and not thinking straight (He thinks he's going to be eaten), but he just seems so observant of he's surroundings, but he doesn't notice Sir.

this is AMAZING

>>125864125864

Thank you!   I write to make ponies happ... well, entertained, so proof that it's working is always appreciated.  Dun worry about it being abandoned, as it's actually finished already.  I'm only delaying the chapter releases to get final edits done on each of them before posting.

Edit:

Oh dear. O-o  Looks like I'll have to reply to each in one massive one, otherwise I'll spam.  Well, alright!

>>125869125869

Thank you very much.

>>125878125878

I very much agree!   It would be totally normal for a human if we could get used to walking on the tips of our toes. Which would be really cool!   Well, except that all of our toes would be lumped together into one massive block of soft tissue, bone, and keratin.  Then I couldn't type!   But thank you for the criticism.  The only issue is that I didn't exactly say he was human prior.

>>125907125907

Thank you.

>>125945125945

Oooh, you noticed!    Much applause!  I always have a special fondness for observant readers.  Anyway, to properly answer, he's panicking.  It was mostly the bunny's fault.

>>126064126064

Why thank you.   It's not THAT good, though.  But I thank you for letting me know you enjoyed chapter one.

Tracking after 2nd paragraph... Back to story

I'm so tracking this.

It is really interesting.

>>126272126272

Yaaaay!   I'm glad you approve.

>>126388126388

Oooh, thank you.  I write to entertain, so I hope you like.

>>126425126425

You, good sir, are epic.   *totally saves picture*

This is really good also its kind of funny

Tracked, can't wait for more.

Really enjoyed this.

I'm looking forward to the next chapters, how many are there if I might ask so I can start panicking when it get close to the end.

"Ew!  I think I stepped in something,"  "Yes!  She was distracted by my, uh, strategically placed trap" if thats what i think it is, then he must be a damn good strategist in his world.

You had me at "Consciousness stirred.  That fundamental spark of awareness."

OK seriously, this is awesome! Can't wait to read the next chapter

-Glassed

Now THAT is how you do a first chapter. Bloody brilliant! Wonderful descriptions, great interpretation of what would happen and both seriousness and comedy in equal blends. I never rate after a first chapter but this is the first time I've had to control myself from doing so.

I have high hopes now

Edit: >>The only issue is that I didn't exactly say he was human prior.

I like you already Kiroberos

Edit^2: Holy crap did this just get featured? On it's first day!?

Image: http://memegenerator.net/cache/instances/400x/12/12855/13164178.jpg

5 stars from me! and tracking! Keep it coming!

awesome story man, please, revise faster!

I normally don't do the (human or something) visits Equestria from another universe, across the galaxy, etc, just because I feel those authors put a bit too much of themselves into that style.  I mean, who doesn't want to visit Equestria, but to read about it in a self serving format, not my cup of hay.

But THIS however...  I am pleasantly surprised.  Well done, so much detail, interesting back story for our main character (which is barely hinted at as being human, which is intriguing) and with a sci-fi magic background, so many possibilities.  Great war torn personality, and we'll see if he can integrate.

My main curiosity is to see if you'll have transformed his magic into the driving forces behind the three races.  Since he's not a Unicorn, will he be able to channel his magic into bucking an apple tree, or making something grow, or feeling the landscape through his hooves, etc.  Maybe when he gets a cutie mark..  =P

he had magic?

interstelar support warrior?

completely (and comprensibly) paranoic?

cute ponies?

awesome!

Wow. Normally I'm not a fan of "X in Equestria" stuff, but three paragraphs in and I was glued to the screen. Can't wait for chapter 2.

jesus loves you...ALOT

And I was just wanting a new human in Equestria story! How did you know?

Looking good, so far. Magic in the human world? shows promise!

ATTACK THE HUMANS

Image: http://i.imgur.com/D3dR6.gif

I think Kiroberos may have started something here. There are 40 ratings. They are ALL 5 stars

>>126537126537

Only kind of?   Thank you for reading, though.

>>126550126550

Wow.  I honestly wasn't expecting this.   Thank you, though!

>>126560126560

Hahaha.  Abusing the fact that it's done already, huh?    There are fifteen chapters in total, and two epilogues.  One for each ending of the story.

>>126566126566

Heh.  Well, he wants you to think that, anyway.   Angel was REALLY scary!

>>126569126569

Well I do have an excessive love for description and detailed feelings.   I'm glad you liked, however.

>>126608126608

Wow, thank you.   Honestly, this surprises me greatly.  I didn't think that it was a super good story.  I mean, I hadn't written anything for the better part of a year, so I felt really rusty.  Heh, and I never DID say he was a human prior.  And wait, what?  Featured?  I thought that was a new story thingy up there.   Wow, I'm honored...

>>126636126636

WOW!  Thanks!  And truly epic picture.   I honestly didn't think the story was this good.  I'm glad so many ponies are getting entertainment from reading it, however.

>>126699126699

I can't revise too much faster.    The quality will drop and I can't have that at all.

>>126721126721

Personally, I couldn't agree more.  Author inserts aren't really my thing to read about, so I would definitely never write one.  The key is, Mr. Pony in the story isn't an insert.  He has a few of my qualities, but not all.  Writing about myself would be boring.   Some of his qualities I also wish I had, in return.  As for the magic, however, I'll only state that you'll need to read and find out.   I wrote this fic to be different from most 'Interdimensional Traveler in Equestria' anyway, so I'll eagerly await hearing more from you as to how I do.  I love constructive criticism.  

>>126795126795

Yes, maybe, obviously, definitely, and thank you!   I'm glad you enjoyed it so far.

>>126864126864

Ooh, thanks!  I'm trying to write this to be essentially an experiment.  It should be a little different from most of them.  Plus, this is the first time I've attempted the 'Unreliable Narration' approach.

>>126867126867

Um, thank you?   And what about humans?

>>126949126949

Heeee.  Someone didn't read the prior comments.   I never said he was human.

>>127097127097

Oooh, a last minute comment! You're sneaky tricky!   And I have no idea what's going on.  I... just wanted to entertain ponies.

I'm almost finding what details he can remember to be more interesting than the story! I can't tell if it's some kind of schizo-sci-fi/magic world, or a straight blend, but I'd rather like to see his old world (or what's left of it). Of course, the story (all one chapter of it) is fantastic and well written, even from the always-difficult first-person! Track'd, for great justice.

that guy is soo lost I laughed!! I am tracking this

Seriusly though.. I can only compare your story to one other and that is through the eyes of another pony... But he just took a turn down a road idk if I like.. But yours is absolutely brilliant

Why are you not on eqd yet!!

>>126159126159 So not human... It was that he used to use magic where he was from that made me think he might not be, it was just they had horses on his home planet so I thought that it must be (excuses, excuses, excuses )

enjoyed it none the less, and congrats in being featured in the top corner... thing

>>Kiroberos

See now you have all our expectations up. This is where you prepare yourself for raving fans who spit out catch phrases like they get paid to.

I KEEP PUSHING F5 BUT THERE IS NO NEW STORY. A FIX MUST BE FOUND!

Make your editor move faster, you've teased us this much we need to know what happens

Please allow me to collect the pieces of my mind. They scattered around the room when you blew my mind with this amazing story. Brace yourself for tracking.

>>127204127204

Ironically, I've actually found third person to be the hardest for me to write.  Omniscient third person tells too much for my tastes, and limited tells too little.  I guess I just miss out on the full field of feelings that first person can demonstrate.  It's easier for me to relate to a character when I see directly through their eyes.  Dun worry, though.  You'll see bits and pieces of his old world.   Maybe he'll even go back one day.  I'm very glad you like the story, though.

>>127208127208

Yeah, he's kinda a ditz like that.  He very easily gets distracted by long tangents of thought trains.   I'm happy you're enjoying the story.

>>127263127263

Well I'm glad you're enjoying it.  What's the other story, if I might ask?  As for EqD... ah.  Well, I kinda sent them an email like, uh, I think it was three weeks ago now about the story, but never got a reply.  But I mean, they're super busy, right?  They just hit like, a hundred million page views.  Their email is probably flooded with stories that are just as good, if not better.

>>127266127266

Heh.  No, not human.  I'm an old fan of the Sliders, however, so yeah.  Paralleling is loads of fun.   Anyway, thank you for leaving another review, and being so observant.  I'm eager to see how you respond to the rest.

>>127369127369

Was that an example, or are you now a 'raving fan' of the story?   And honestly, I had no idea it would be this entertaining.  I would have uploaded it weeks ago had I known it would make this many ponies happy.   Maybe I just lack confidence.  Hum.  Oh, and I am my own editor.  My actual proofreader finished these a while ago.  She's finished through chapter thirteen now, and should be done looooong before I get there, posting-wise.  I myself am just touching them up with some final revisions and plot-hole smoothing out.  Making sure they flow at the pace I want, and have all the details I like.

Edit:

>>127421127421

Can't... keep up with... comments...   And wow, you seem as surprised at my story as I am with everyone liking it.  Impressive, as I'm pretty dang surprised.  I'm glad you like it, though, and hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters too.  Thank you for commenting.

Angel still reminds me of the Rabbit Guardian of Death (don't know its real name) from Monty Python.

I smell a good plot. Can't wait till the next update.

very good story. dont feel required to reply to everyone. reply to recurring or interesting questions and statements and then thank everyone else for their good reviews....

tracking this. very very good fic.

very good story. dont feel required to reply to everyone. reply to recurring or interesting questions and statements and then thank everyone else for their good reviews....

tracking this. very very good fic.

very good story. dont feel required to reply to everyone. reply to recurring or interesting questions and statements and then thank everyone else for their good reviews....

tracking this. very very good fic.

very good story. dont feel required to reply to everyone. reply to recurring or interesting questions and statements and then thank everyone else for their good reviews....

tracking this. very very good fic.

o_o I'm a relatively new user to this site. Haven't figured out 'tracking' yet. That having been said, I haven't tried to. Before I joined the site proper, I would just throw the story into a MLP Fics subfolder in my bookmarks...and check each one daily. I still do this. So, while I may not show up to you as 'tracking'...Checking This Daily Now. @@

I like stories that take the HiE approach but add a twist to it. Too many of them are of the "teen brony finds himself in Equestria and quickly befriends mane six" type. Worse is if the character instantly begins to fall in love with one of the bearer of Elements of Harmony and/or have to fight an emerging ancient evil due to him being a heroic and nigh-fearless human/pony/pegasus/super-powered unicorn (or *shudder* an alicorn). Departing from that overused and trite formula, even by a something small, such as by the protagonist being a friendship-hating jerkass , grants the fic a fair chance to excel above the average HiE stories. This fic deviates from the stale standard by hinting the non-brony protagonist may not originally be a human, him not adapting to his new form and location in seconds (many fics do that) and last but not least, not having him stroll into Ponyville filled with exuberant aplomb and excessive anticipation of meeting the mane six.

Plus he isn't an insufferable cool-head, exemplifed most humorously by him fearing an innocuous bunny <insert apt Monty Python reference here> and a (seemingly female-dominant) town of ponies so fiercely he soils himself.

Very enjoyable, eagerly anticipating more!

>>127426127426

You have thirteen chapters ready and you've only posted one!?

You are a bad bad man.

Don't bother replying to everyone, I have a feeling you're about to be overwhelmed. Think of it as a pony pile. Don't question it just feel the love (also post more chapters )

Tracked. You have a talent for writing, is your cutie mark a quill or typewritter perhaps?

You're characters reations to the world seemed in line with someone who has recieved a concussion.(besides the whole 'new world' thing)

You can really turn a word, you have blown my mind good sir.

Seriously, this is me.

Image: http://www.dumbdrum.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/head_explode-470x327.jpg

Awesomesauce. Fiving, faving, tracking, watching!

>>127494127494

Heh.  Indeed.  His fear of Angel stems from something else, however.

>>127519127519

Yup, my mind totally went in the gutter.   But yes, it's plotteriffic.

>>127535127535

Er, I'll only reply to one of your reviews, as they all seem to say the same thing.  You have some serious scripting lag and repeat on your end, it looks like.    The comment submission script appears to have fired off repeatedly.  But yes, I know I don't NEED to reply to everyone.  I just like to.  

>>127544127544

Aww.  Well if you gave an email address to the site, you can mark the little 'track' check-box in the upper part of the story page, directly to the right of the story title.  Once you check it, it'll pop up with an option to send it right to your email address whenever I update, which will be once or twice a week, probably.   If you don't check email, it'll just show up in your tracking list accessible from the green bar at the very top of the website when you log in.

>>127546127546

So what to call this?  "Alien in Equestria Who's Actually a Paranoid Ditzy Clutz"?    That seems a tad long.  HMM!  I do agree fully, however.  Alicorns are obviously something special, there being only two in the show and both of significant power.  He's essentially a unicorn with moderate level, exceedingly specialized magic, who can't use magic.   I tried to portray him as realistically as possible, in the same manner that I attempt to portray the main cast as close to their established personalities as I can.  I'll rely on you ponies to let me know how close to the mark I get, though.  Thank you for your very detailed review.

>>127598127598

Thanks!   Probably either on the weekend, or very early next week will be the next chapter.  Dang, I'm addicted to emoticons...

>>127600127600

I wouldn't say READY.  I'm still doing a final reading myself before I post anything.  But yes, chapters one through thirteen are currently proofed completely.    Fourteen and fifteen are done, as well as both epilogues.  They're simply not proofed yet.  My editor is a very busy girl.  I just don't want to release something before making sure it's the absolute best I can do.   And I'm stubborn!  Ah'm gonna try ta reply ta everypony 'ere!  

>>127608127608

Part of it's the concussion.  Part of it's just him being an idiot.   He does that a lot.  Tends to get a bit awkward, I've noticed.  But thank you!  I try to make it as realistic as I can.  I try to shy away from nothing as well, which you'll probably see if I post more stories.  My rating might go through the roof later.  Eh.  I'd also be more partial to a quill.  Oh, and do try to keep your head together.  It might be hard to read (and live) if you don't.

Edit:

>>127661127661

Dang you ponies.   Always sneaking a comment in as I'm typing up replies.  Oh well!   And that's the best kind of sauce.  You have some nice rhythm there.  Maybe I should peek at your story.

Very amused by this guy's rampant speculation.

Damned carmovorus ponies!

Sooo watching this, 4/5 so far

Jup. I like it when characters think. Not nessecarily by hearing them thinking but to know that they DO.

Hmhmm. And concerning that he's quite the analyst.

All in all, a thinker, not a bad one at that but has his moments when you think 'well, I guess you had to be there to come up with THAT BS..' Reminds me of Twi sometimes, actually..

Tracked,  5 / 5, keep them coming!

Horseapples, that was a gewwwwwwwd story.

I demand moar. MOAR.

Seriously though, tracking, and release the entire story at once for crying out loud, you're teasing me

I'm very pleased with the response to this, and you shouldn't be surprised. I TOLD you it was good.

I gotta say this story has really grabbed my attention.  You have a great hook, a masterful writing style, and a character I wanna know more about.  I also find it interesting that for all we know, this guy isn't a brony.  The memory loss is handled well, and I'm sure that the hint of a war to end all wars is gonna be important.  You're doing a great job, and you earned all the readers you already got.  Keep up the great work!  

>>127672127672

Heh.  That's kind of a main fault of his.  I borrowed the idea from somewhere else, too, but I doubt anyone could guess where.   Thanks for reviewing, btw.  Also, your avi scares the crap out of me.

>>127758127758

I know, right?   They're scary!  Thank you for commenting and rating, though!  Oh, and very nice Freakazoid.  

>>127794127794

Heh.  He's good at thinking, but then he over-thinks and starts jumping to conclusions off what he thinks of.  You're very right.   Again, it's more a fault of his than anything.  Thank you for critiquing, though!

>>127916127916

Aww, but if I release the entire story right now, the quality would drop.   That I don't want.  Although this wasn't the response I was expecting at all.  Maybe I'll be nice and release chapter two either Saturday or Sunday instead of Monday as planned.  I didn't think the story would be this well liked.

>>128076128076

Why hello there, Miss Editor.   You should really get an account.  And try writing ponies too!  I know I don't often think my work is good, too.  You don't have to rub it in.  

>>128120128120

Heh, you'll get more hints as time goes on.  But I'm glad you're being entertained by the story.   Thank you for the comment.

>>127263127263

Yeah, I wasn't too fond of CardsLafter's last chapter...it kind of made me feel bad in my tummy. But I can't wait to see where this story goes, this story looks like it's going to be epic. I love the writing style.

Awesome!!!

Publish the rest out now I need MOAR!!!!!!!!!!

I at his trap

by god this is an amazing story my stars take them all

Ok it's been about 30+ hours at this point. I think it's time for us to start demanding MOAR

Hellz yeah. This is going to be awesome!

>>128338128338

Glad I wasent the only one.... Yea that last chapter was amazing..l until the last last last part I was all like gaaaaa... Nooooooo... And now I found this so now I'm like eeeeeeeee!

I look forward to reading what happens next in your story

Enjoyed chapter one very much.  Cant wait for chapter two.

The concept reminds me of Through The Eyes of Anotherpony.... HRMMMMMM

Flippin' stellar, very well done.

"EW I THINK I JUST STEPPED IN SOMETHING!"

"Strategically placed trap."

...

Did you just shit yourself?

Image: http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT54f8I92k07HFJdix3C6BU0O9HyYbN5cSyyR9FBT1WVF5ogUSQ

Okay, never mind, it's all good. Albeit a little strange.

>>129405129405

And you wouldn't call Through the eyes of another pony strange?

Strange is good!

Poop traps are better!

Nice, im really liking how this is looking, not your average HIE story at all.

That has gotta be the single most enthralling chapter 1 ever!!! definately get these next chapters posted ASAP! Oh and @thejayowl Y U ATTACK TEH HUMANS WITH HEAVY BOLTER?!?!?!

>>130028130028 Because a heavy bolter is the best kind of bolter.

Also, WE NEED ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS

AND NUCLEAR PYLONS!

>>128338128338

I did a search for the name.  Interesting concept indeed.   The narration style is a bit strange, though.  Hmm.  First person aware is always awkward for me when not found in a journal or something.  Perhaps I shall read this.

>>128529128529

Heh, I couldn't publish it all now even if I wanted to.  The absolute FASTEST I could probably manage is a release every three or four hours.  But if I did that, I wouldn't have time for D&D or Skyrim.   I'm glad for the vote of confidence in the story, though.

>>128746128746

Thank you!   *feels like Mario*  I'm glad you like the story.

>>128937128937

You're counting?   Well I shall strive to get chapter two released tomorrow.  Everyone here has been so nice to me that I really should strive to be quicker.    But I won't sacrifice quality for quantity.  I want to give everyone my absolute best.

>>128969128969

Thanks!  I'm glad you like so far.  Update probably tomorrow.   I really like that emoticon.  Hmm.  I guess I relate with Twilight the best.

>>129005129005

Okay, you guys are really making me curious now.

>>129149129149

Awesome!  I shall strive not to disappoint!   Epic avi, btw.

>>129161129161

Thank you.   Tomorrow!

>>129344129344

Apparently it is.   I'd not heard of this fic prior to writing, but perhaps I should look into it.

>>129400129400

Thank you!   And NO, HE DIDN'T!   He PEED himself when seeing the bunny and she stepped in THAT.  Oy.

>>129405129405

I'm... glad you liked?   Wait, you didn't think I was copying or something, did you?

>>129484129484

It IS strange.  It wasn't POOP though!

>>129587129587

Heh, it just takes the barest concept.  Considering it's not a 'human' at all.   Thank you, however.  I'm glad you like so far.

>>130028130028

Thank you!   I love entertaining ponies, and 'enthralling' is definitely something I strive for.

>>130335130335

Well I can supply the chapters, but I'm not registered or licensed to sell nuclear pylons.   The chapter however, you can expect tomorrow.

must have next chapter plox?

A human from a war-ridden future, now as a pony, in a pretty peaceful world with cute creatures, that he thinks are actually terrifying monsters that will tear him apart? Humor galore! I can already tell this is going to be a lot like Through The Eyes of Another Pony!

On the topic of that story, I read that you didn't know it prior to making this fic, so I hereby say, that YOU MUST GO READ THAT FANFIC. Honestly, it is BRILLIANT.

>>130481130481

"Through the eyes of Another Pony" is a fanfiction by CardsLafter which is a bout a brony falling into Equestria and mucking about. On the surface, it looks like your average, everyday, mary-sue self-insert schlock of a story... and in a way it is. But the guy writing it is so damn talented and crafts the thing so damn well, that he somehow makes the impossible possible and makes a story that should be absolutely unbearable and makes it hilarious and engaging. Proof that you can make a good story out of anything if your talented enough.

The guy probably thought, just at first glance, that you were trying to copy off of "TtEoAP." Don't worry, the story is nothing like it. At all really. The only similarity that I can see really is that they both made a crater when they arrived.

Anyway, this story is really REALLY good. I'm very interested to see what happens next. Your hinting that the human in question just might not be, well, human at all, is a very interesting idea and I've got to say that I'm interested to hear more about that world and what he'll do in this one. Hope to see the next chapter really soon

My good sir,

From your previous comments, I am lead to assume that you are somewhat unsure about your artistic abilities in this story. I am writing here to tell you now...that you are very, VERY wrong in your theory that it is anything near standard much less sub-standard in any of our eyes. This first chapter alone has not only envoked the deepest feelings of excitement for the stories continuation, but has also lead me to create my own account solely for the purpose of writing this message to you and tracking the story. I literally created this account not five minutes before typing this. This is truly an amazing first chapter to what is promising to be an epic tale. The explanation of each and every movement and thought upon his awakening is not only thought provoking and a great hook, but also makes one wonder about his origins and the war he has fragmented memories of. The details of his every challenge and encounter is very well written and the random comical outbursts are perfect for the situations. I share your sentiment towards the first person writing style and enjoy your use of his percetive abilities to help and hinder him in his short time in the new world he has been thrust into. This is truly an amazing story and your being "rusty" as previously stated is not being shown at all. Bravo.

Condensed version: SWEET JESUS. THIS IS AWESOME. MOAR.

Magic? Pollution? I wonder where he's from?

Anyways, this was awesome! I'm definitely tracking this! Can't wait for the next update!

Very nice story, I like where it's headed.   

A fine beginning.  Why?  Because I'm interested in seeing what happens next here.  A very welcome atypical departure from a familiar theme, and nicely handled, too.  Oh, and hiding from the ferocious Angel Bunny?  Priceless. :)

Lol I love it how you've somehow managed to put almost every genre tag on your story.  It made me laugh and is one of the things that made me read it.

P.S. Chapter 2 tommrow !!  OMG.

>>130494130494

Tomorrow afternoon.   And thank you.

>>130788130788

I give up.  Nobody actually reads the entirety of these replies it seems.   I'll just let you all be shocked later on, then.  I'm glad you like the fic, however.  I hope you'll enjoy the rest.

>>130807130807

THANK YOU~!  You listened!    Okay, I take that back and don't give up.  And no, I'd not read that story prior to making this one.  I shall perhaps read it now, however.  And I do hope this story will be 'different' enough to keep you interested.  Is tomorrow afternoon soon enough for a new chapter for ya?

>>131102131102

Wow.    I thank you kindly.  It's partly due to who I am.  I typically don't consider the work I do of high quality.  I'm also a little disheartened over EqD's response, but I'm wondering if I should try submitting it again and if 95% of the email simply didn't get read.  I'll think about it.  But I do thank you.  I know I say that I only do this to entertain ponies, but hearing someone say that I'm really succeeding at that goal means a lot to me.  It cements me into thinking I really can't release anything except for my best for you guys.   Maybe I'll ask you guys for help instead.  That might be a better idea.  Thank you again for leaving such a detailed review.  I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

>>131219131219

Someplace really, really crappy.   And you won't have to wait long, now.  I just have to finish coding up a parser program I'm making to format the story for posting.  That should speed things up a bit.  It'll be done by tomorrow afternoon.

>>131223131223

YAY!  Derpy!   That means it's headed in circles and into the closest tree!  Wooooo!  I adore Derpy.

>>131323131323

HE HAS REASONS!   Bunny Phobia will probably come up again if I continue writing about him, as well.  And unbelievably, this wasn't inspired by HiE stories, although I now recognize the similar elements.  But if I tell anypony what it WAS inspired by, it'll give away spoilers.

>>131349131349

Every tag?   I don't have ALL of them.  Funny, sad, adventure, and romance.  That's not too many, is it?  I'm gonna need your guys' help for that later.  EqD wants very specific tags, and I need help deciding what to give this story.  The sad isn't very well represented yet, same as the romance.  But that'll change in reasonably short order.  And yup, chapter two tomorrow.  It's ready and right on time so far.   Glad you're enjoying it so far.

This is definitely a great start and I am sad that I had delayed reading it for a while.  Your descriptiveness is phenomenal, you my friend have a great talent.  Looking forward to future chapters, and did I read correctly that there are 2 endings?  Are we going to see them both or are you going to decide which to use based on feedback?

Two words: SPEECH MARKS

Other than that (albeit major) point, it's good.

There aren't enough facehoofs to go around for all the hilarity this chapter holds, excellent work sir.

Also, as Municipal said, all speech should be enclosed in quotes, makes picking it out much easier

>>132775132775

OH CRAP!    My parcer program I just made ATE THEM!  Re-uploaded!!!  Everypony, please refresh the chapter and they'll be back.

Wot. Why... Who... WOT??????!!!?!!??

I'm sorry about the goofup with the quotations, everypony.   My parser program I made to format my scene breaks automatically ate them and I didn't notice before posting.  Everyone who read it and saw no speech marks, just re-read now.  I uploaded the 'correct' version of the chapter now.

>>131903131903

I'm glad you liked the chapter so far.   And yes, you're correct.  There are two endings to the story.  I'll be posting both of them and leaving it up to the readers which they wish to accept.

>>132790132790

Yeah, I apologize.  *points up*  My parser program did it and I just didn't notice before publishing.   I hope you forgive me.  I'm glad you liked the chapter, though.

>>132800132800

Huh?

That guy... Wow... He's got the wrong idea... BIG TIME!

Carnivorous? Ponies?

If I wasn't already in love with this story from chapter 1, then I wuold say that I've fallen for it now

-Glassed

Awww yea chapter 2 reading now.

YES! An update!!

Our poor nameless protagonist. How he ever survived daily life is beyond me but his suffering brings me joy

That chapter was gone all too quick

we're not crazy carnivorous ponies...

Edit: Also so well done 100% worth the wait no... 120% worth the wait

Oh the hilarious effects of paranoia, and the ever present rocks it leads you into.

Ahh Chapter two was equally as enjoyable as chapter one.  Thanks.  Eagerly awaiting chapter three.   

Geeze, what'll happenwhen his fragile sanity comes into contact with Pinkie Pie?

acctually theres more then this chapter facehoofs to go around!

also, fourpony, ever read "cupcakes"

I'm riveted for the next chapter like the hull of a vintage ocean liner.

>>132898132898

Yeah, and that smiley in connection with your statement has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with a certain fiction by the name of "Cupcakes", riiiiight? ^_^

Anyway, I was really curious after reading the first chapter, and after reading the second I am definitely looking forward to reading more.

Great job!