Chapter 02
My eyes slowly regained focus as I felt the throbbing and spinning in my head lessen. I couldn't think clearly, everything being a foggy miasma of heat and cotton inside my skull. Wow. It's amazing anyone used drugs when they could just go out and cave their skull in for the same effect. My frame shook with a dry cough as I sat up in the mud. How long was I out for?
The rain still came down just about as hard as before and my 'bed' had slowly been reduced to a slime bowl. That didn't tell me much, however. I estimated a few minutes that I'd been unconscious, maybe? My eyes glanced out towards the house I was parked close to, mind in a haze as another wave of nausea came over me from the motion. Stilling my movement somewhat, I slowly let the feeling pass, feeling warmth spread up my neck and head. Not good. I needed to get out of this rain and soon. A warm light came out one of the windows of the house, and gently spread across the rain soaked ground. My eyes caught motion suddenly and I made an extra effort to freeze in place, as to not be noticed.
It was that mare from earlier. Her light yellow coat was brightened in the soft light of her house and her pink mane swayed nervously as she looked up at the sky from her window. Her hooves were idly fidgeting on some shrubbery in her window garden as she watched the heavens wearily. The rain pounded down and I noticed her window was technically open. She didn't seem to mind getting a little wet, it would seem. Was it the noise that was making her nervous then? Her fidgeting drew my attention and I noticed the meticulous care that seemed to go into the gardening on and around her house. It looked like it blended in with the forest, as if it were made from a tree itself. It was very beautiful and I found myself calming down a little.
Shifting to a better position, I watched her through the underside of the tree. I'd discovered it felt considerably better if I rested with my legs tucked under me, than if I spread them out. This quadruped thing was hard. Suddenly I saw her freeze entirely and my attention snapped back to reality. My eyes went from their relaxed position to locking on her instantly, only to find her looking directly back at me. Oh. She froze, wide eyed and shrinking back a little. Oh crap! My eyes probably reflected the light from her windows but for some reason I just couldn't look away. My body locked up and I started shivering uncontrollably again.
Moments passed. Or was it hours? Neither of us moved. Ironically, she looked as terrified as I was. Any moment now I anticipated the legion of hellish carnivores to descend upon me. All she'd have to do was scream or call out! Even longer passed yet we continued staring at each other. And staring. And even a little more staring. Utter stillness existed between us and finally I relaxed my eyes a little. After several more seconds passed, I saw her frown, but her shoulders lowered from their rigid guard position at the same time, her eyes softening considerably like mine.
We just watched each other. I lost track of time for a while, either because of focus or due to my head spinning and tumbling, I didn't know. She seemed nervous but somewhat curious now. It dawned on me that she probably knew about as much of me as I knew of her. It didn't drive her to action, regardless, and she seemed content with just observing. Her pink mane tilted as she watched and I caught myself blushing slightly. She was pretty. If she were my old species, she'd remind me of some of the posters we used to have hanging in the barracks. The ones meant to sooth and relax of course, not the other kind.
I caught myself smiling slightly; probably my first in quite a few hours. My eyes relaxed a little as my focus re-adjusted. My head felt a little clearer, maybe? That sickening heat that had been possessing it since I woke up seemed to simmer down a little. Then my ears twitched, picking up a low whistling noise from above me. Wait, what was that? Some exotic bird or something? It seemed oddly familiar. She must have heard it too and glanced up at about the same time that I did. My eyes widened and my pupils felt like they might pull into my head as I watched the radiant rainbow ball of death descending towards my position, sounding off a low whistle as it fell. Oh crap! Mortar shells?! I tried to stand up and dive out of the way as best I could, suddenly remembering my training in a hurry.
My body felt weightless as the area around my private sanctum was consumed in a radiant, prismatic mushroom cloud. The raw heat from the particles released burned against my coat and the wind blast lifted and tossed me as if a feather dancing on the breeze. It felt almost graceful as I flipped once, lazily through the air as the world seemed to grind to a halt. I momentarily wondered how they had found me so quickly, and then if I would get a replay of my life before passing. The mud sizzled and quickly hardened to my mane and coat and I felt my throat go raw from the blast of pressurized air. What an amazing weapon. Not only was it utterly destructive but it managed to be beautiful at the same time.
A single moment at the pinnacle of my arc. I hung there with droplets of rain around me, standing equally defiant of gravity as they turned to heated mist from the blast. It was gorgeous. If this were to be my last moment, I could be content. I didn't realize such beauty could exist in destruction. That attack was amazing and rivaled some of the artillery of my prior technology! Even some of the mid level magical attacks would be hard pressed to show that much force, I realized. And certainly not that much style. Style wasn't bothered with largely due to inefficiency. It was an ugly time, I seemed to recall. At that moment, I was kind of glad I didn't remember most of it.
Nothing lasts forever, sadly. Gravity started its harsh tugging again and I felt my stomach lurch as I descended towards the land once more. It was pointless really. I smiled and simply closed my eyes. I was a dozen meters off the ground at this point with no barrier, nor anything to slow my descend. In my weakened condition, I'd probably shatter every bone in my body upon impact. I simply let it come.
I should have looked down first. Note to self: always look down first. The tree branch smashed into my stomach, catching me totally unaware. Ambushed, all of the air retreated out of my lungs immediately, giving up the fight without even presenting a white flag. There was a snapping noise half a second later as my weight overwhelmed the branch's load capacity and it gave out, sending me further down into the canopy with a dull thud. All four of my legs flailed about helplessly, attempting to latch onto anything with as much grace as a drunken giraffe. Seconds later, I managed to snag another cooperative branch with my hind legs.
Hanging upside down in the middle of the tree canopy, I contemplated how best to get down. My plan for a graceful end had went swimmingly, executed with style and grace that I couldn't help but simply applaud. Irritated, I swung freely a bit and tried to rotate myself around. Sadly, in my weakened condition, there wasn't much I could do to pull myself back upright. My back and stomach muscles were screaming in agony at this point. Well, at least it was a little drier inside of the tree canopy than in a mud hole on ground level, right?
"Rainbow Dash, are you okay?" was spoken quietly, a bit off to my right. I glanced back that direction and watched the rainbow light slowly dissipating.
"Heck yeah! That was awesome! Did you see that? What an amazing recovery from that dive," spoke a small looking pony that was near the location of the newly formed crater. Well, she looked small anyway. It was hard to tell, me being a good six or seven meters off the ground. And upside-down.
The even smaller looking yellow mare was exiting the house, carefully making her way around the puddles in her yard, giving herself a little boost occasionally with a tiny set of wings on her back. Wait, wings? Glancing back to the blue pony with the massively contrasting rainbow mane and tail, I noticed she had wings too. I hadn't seen those on the others from my observations earlier. "Um, that was really dangerous. Are you absolutely sure you're alright?" the yellow pony with the pink mane asked. Was this Rainbow Dash a title or actual name then? It certainly seemed fitting as a title. Wait, rainbow? My eyes shifted back to the glow that was now rapidly fading. She made that blast by herself?! My respect and similarly, fear for these small ponies increased drastically.
"Relax Fluttershy. I had it totally under control. Well, the dive not the storm clouds. I'm still working on those," the Rainbow Dash replied. Fluttershy. That didn't seem as fitting to her appearance but was cute still. Very feminine. Maybe they were names after all? I didn't have one for myself so who was I to judge the sounds of theirs? Wait, I was getting distracted. Get down from the tree before I pass out from blood rush to the head, then spy on... er, observe the ponies.
I swayed tentatively, trying to reach for a lower branch with my forelegs so I could maybe slowly lower myself down. Grace and focus. I could do this! Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to relax myself. "So the storm really isn't meant to have been this bad, huh?" Fluttershy asked, barely audible above the rain hitting the ground. My thoughts drifted slightly as my forelegs brushed against the branch I was targeting. Did Rainbow Dash have something to do with the weather? Maybe they controlled their climate through magic instead of technology.
There was a light cracking noise above me, and I sighed. Today really kind of sucked, so far. I glared back to my right defiantly, staring at the back of the small, blue and rainbow colored pony. Sure, she probably would never know, but I had to salvage what little ego was left after she absent-mindedly blew me up without even noticing my existence. By braking! I shuffled myself closer to the trunk of the tree to move the center of my mass closer to the main support and slowly took hold of the lower branch, testing my weight against it lightly. It seemed to be able to support my weight so far.
"Eheheh. I might have gotten a little impatient with the schedule. But it's not my fault they interfered with my training regiment and I had to jump things up a notch, right? Besides, I totally got this. Just head back inside and stay dry, okay?" Rainbow Dash suggested, in her much harsher voice. They seemed about the same age and acted like friends.
Fluttershy drooped noticeably but nodded. "Um, well, if it will help of course. But if it's not too much trouble, could you maybe see if there's somepony else around? I thought I saw another pony, um, hiding under the tree. That you kinda blew up," she pointed out, glancing back at the crater. My heart stopped. She knew I was a pony? She acknowledged me. I smiled mentally. Wait. Oh crap! She acknowledged me. And she didn't say to help the blown up pony! I might be in quite a bit of trouble. I'd not be able to escape from the rainbow colored one if she decided to attack.
"Psh, Fluttershy, why would anypony be out in this weather, hiding under a tree? I'm sure your imagination just got the better of you looking out into the dark," Rainbow Dash tried to assure. Whew. Wait, 'anypony'? Oh, clever. Now that I thought about it, I think I'd heard 'somepony' earlier too.
Fluttershy just nodded weakly and seemed to believe her. I felt both badly and relieved at the same time. Maybe the winged ponies were nicer? Or at least didn't eat meat. I shuddered as I remembered the horrifying blue pony from earlier and almost lost my balance. "Good! And don't worry about this storm. I'll have it all fixed up in ten seconds flat!" Rainbow Dash announced before giving a curt yet confident nod to Fluttershy.
Her yellow friend looked less than sure of the boast but slowly started making her way back towards her house, daintily avoiding the puddles. I watched her go, trying to resist smiling and blushing at the grace and simple adorableness that she oozed from every portion of her body. Well, I wasn't sure if it was blushing at this point as a good sixty percent of my blood felt like it was swelled into my skull. I squinted my eyes shut as the thought of her body formed a shortcut to the, well, other image I had of her from earlier. My body heated up and I wobbled, trying to calm myself down again. Stupid, dirty, filthy mind! Why was this such a big deal?! Their culture obviously didn't actively endorse clothing like mine used to. I was a mature, fully grown, rational, and reasonable individual. Surely I could halt these barbaric thoughts that plagued my head.
Rainbow Dash rocketed into the air at speeds I couldn't follow, shooting straight back up towards the cloud line while leaving a very familiar looking trail. Wow, well that was fairly impressive. The sheer power she must contain in her body left me in awe. I wasn't a raw attack mage though, so most displays of pure power surprised me. Still, I thought I'd seen it all. Her grace and style left me feeling somewhat cheated with what few memories I could recall of the battles I'd participated in. Then something dawned on me as my brain momentarily processed physics. Oh no.
The blast of wind hit my tree suddenly, from her spontaneous takeoff. Oh crap! I swayed and flailed trying to keep my balance. Several antagonizing seconds later, I slowed my rotation and managed to still myself, trying to grasp for the lower branch I had prior. Success! Well that was a close call. That's about the time when the branch I was dangling from snapped of course. If I had time to sigh, I would have. They're very therapeutic, I hear. My head bounced off the lower branch I'd had my sights set on as I fell backwards. Several more collisions wracked my body from various angles before I smashed, screaming, into the mercifully muddy ground below, making everything go black. Again.
* * * * *
Half a dozen worlds fell in the space of months as the sky burned and split, letting the demons through. Our allies lost half that but only had half as many to begin with. Everything was ending and our last event wouldn't be some natural occurrence, many decided, but a hostile race bent on our demise. The extinction of our species. The very concept of it was frightening and I simply couldn't wrap my mind around it. Dwelling on it too long rapidly caused madness as many had attested to firsthand. It would seem that our psyche simply couldn't hold up to thoughts of cessation of existence.
Most of my friends joined the military, either willingly or through conscription. I was one of the few who actually chose to join. Not due to a rash desire to prove myself nor through some larger sense of duty or obligation. No, I joined to stop the invaders before there was nothing left for them to destroy. Because I could easily see where they were going and it left me terrified, crying, and unable to sleep at night. They wouldn't stop until everything I knew and loved, and every person I cared about, were erased from existence. I fought to make a difference, even if it was next to nothing. To stop them from destroying everything I cherished. Because if I didn't fight, it wouldn't really matter anyway.
I made no difference of course. Our last world was the worst, as to be expected. I remembered it clearly somehow. Everything was as if a movie with no ending. The seventh world had fallen, leaving us with only our home planet. Our allies had retreated and we had fought tooth and nail for this ball of rock floating around a star. As the plans became increasingly daring and futile, what we accepted as losses expanded greatly I noticed. Eventually it was perfectly acceptable to weaponize a moon to strike out at the impossibly large fleet in our orbit. Forgotten so easily was the cherished traditions and culture surrounding the moons around our home planet. In trying to defend ourselves, we lost who we were regardless.
And even then it didn't matter. The sky exploded into flames and a haphazard chorus of screams erupted around me. Bunker number three hundred and twelve was my charge. I can't remember a point before or after thist. Ponies scattered into the corners of the bunker as I sealed it up behind me, activating the complex shielding magic with my muzzle. It wouldn't do much good of course but it helped them feel safer. The orbital strikes could eat through three layers of similar shielding in seconds. I swallowed hard and directed my platoon into guard position. The last line of defense. Honestly, we would fade away here. There was no hope at this point. Everything we could do had been tried, and failed. Some comfort was found as I stood there on the charred landscape surrounded by my friends. We were all about to die but we were to die as ourselves. I knew nothing had changed who I was and nothing the invaders did could take that away.
The hellish monsters descended from the burning heavens themselves. Massive and pale, their cyan coloring clashed violently with the crimson sky. The four long, leg-like tentacles extended menacingly towards the planet, their ships a cruel mockery of our forms. Rainbow maned figureheads jutted out from each of their hulls and an equally prismatic exhaust pushed them forwards. My mind mentally pictured the unnatural cyborg rabbits that piloted the diabolical crafts. Their entire race was bent on the utter destruction of my people and would stop at nothing to achieve their goal.
The heads of the mare-looking figureheads seemed to laugh arrogantly as they opened their mouths and fired burning, rainbow apple cores towards the surface. My body braced for impact as I conjured what was possibly my last barrier.
Wait a second. Something seemed, well, a little off suddenly.
* * * * *
My eyes slowly opened and a faint dawn light greeted them. A dagger of pain stabbed into my head as the light was processed and I groaned weakly, trying to will the image away from me. I closed my eyes again, feeling drained and sick. It was just a dream. Or was it a memory? It felt like my current memories and the old ones were kind of leaking together. Why was I not dead yet? My mind retreated into myself for the moment and I tried to ignore the light stabbing sensation at my gut. Probably internal bleeding or something. If I was lucky I'd lose consciousness and die in my sleep.
"Will ya stop pokin' him with that there stick! It's mighty rude, Scootaloo," sounded behind me somewhere. Wonderful. Internal bleeding sounded even more merciful now. The voice was lighter, maybe coming from a younger pony? What would that be, a foal?
The newly identified jabbing continued however and I kept my eyes shut. "Oh come on. I'm just trying to wake him up, Apple Bloom," was the reply, apparently from one 'Scootaloo' foal. Well, I assumed they were ponies anyway. It wasn't like I bothered to check.
"Just let him sleep, Scootaloo! Can't ya see he looks plum tucker'd out?" was the comeback, from the same heavily accented, younger voice from before. Finally a reasonable suggestion!
There was a stagnant pause and the poking stopped. "What's that stuff all over him?" a softer, previously unheard of voice asked. I became noticeably aware of the caked mud all over my coat and exhaled sharply. It actually felt kind of nice, being significantly cooler than the sun on my body.
"It looks like, ah dunno. Maybe Rainbow done romp'd with him or somethin'?" reasoned Apple Bloom. They had such unique names. Wait, romp? If that meant what I thought it did… A light heat made it to my face, separate from the sunlight. Rainbow? It better not be Rainbow Dash she was talking about. Although they pegged my gender already it would seem and I wasn't dead yet. But they were also fairly young sounding. Maybe they were part of a scouting party instead of hunting?
There was a hacking noise behind me. "No way! Rainbow Dash wouldn't romp with him. He's nowhere near cool enough," Scootaloo defended, suddenly. The heat was replaced with a twinge of irritation. Rainbow Dash was definitely a name and could only mean that egotistical blue pony from before. I suddenly remembered I had no idea how long I had been unconscious for.
"What's romping?" the gentler voice asked innocently, sounding a little confused.
There was a much longer pause. "Ah haven't the faintest," was eventually admitted, via the accented pony. I resisted chuckling.
"You don't know what romping is?" asked Scootaloo incredulously with a hinting of ego. Suddenly I realized why she liked Rainbow Dash.
There was a derisive snort in reply, followed by, "Ah suppose ya know, do yeh?" She probably didn't.
"Of course! It's when two ponies wrestle in the mud together to decide who's better," Scootaloo answered almost instantly. Er, what?
There was another pause. "Wow. That makes sense then, looking at him. How'd you know that?" the innocent voice asked.
There was a confident snickering. "Pinkie Pie suggested it to Rainbow Dash and Apple Bloom's Sis after the Running of the Leaves, obviously to decide who was better," Scootaloo explained.
"Ah remember that. It doesn't sound so bad, thou'. What did Sis yell at 'er for, then?" Apple Bloom questioned, sounding doubtful.
"And Rainbow got all pink after, don't forget!" the innocent one chimed in. I wished I knew her name. And Rainbow Dash must have been embarrassed over something. Maybe this 'romping' held some sort of social significance that the younger ones weren't aware of? Huh.
There was an apparent moment of reflection. "I dunno. Maybe she wanted to give Applejack a sporting chance? She obviously didn't with this stallion. Dang," Scootaloo finally replied. My irritation spiked back with a vengeance. Oh, who was I kidding? Rainbow Dash could probably mop the floor with my face even with me at full strength, from what she displayed yesterday. Still, Scootaloo could have been a little more considerate to my ego.
Wait, what the hell was I doing? These three assumedly ponies obviously were members of the community of carnivorous equines! Dang, they got me to let my guard down. Clever young ones. Maybe they were sent intentionally just to get me to relax and lead to a false sense of security? Were they just scouts or some sort of hunting party bent on my horrible death and roasting? My eyes opened up rapidly and I shifted my neck to glance back at where the poking was coming from.
Three tiny foal slipped into my field of vision. They were considerably smaller than the ones I saw before, so I assumed they were younger. Apparently yesterday, by the position of the sun above me and to the right I also noted. Was it morning? The center pony looked almost tan but I guessed it was just an orange coat color. Her mane was either purple, or a really dark pink. She also sported a set of smaller wings on her back. Her head was rotated away from me, looking back at the pony to her left. Speaking of, the one to her left was almost yellow in coat color, somewhat similar to Fluttershy's from yesterday. Her mane contrasted heavily being a vibrant red. The last pony, looking on from the back with careful examination, was whitish in color, similar to my coat but without the blue hue to it. Her hair was an equal measure of purple and pink, making mine far less eccentric feeling. My eyes were drawn to a tiny horn that protruded from her forehead, seamlessly connected to her skin it seemed. That was like the carnivorous pony from before.
All three ponies jumped with my sudden movement and rapidly backed up slightly, as a group. No direct confrontation. They must not be a true hunting party. Surely they could have used their superior numbers to overwhelm my defenses fairly quickly if they had attacked. I rotated my butt around so my rear and flanks were away from them and glared more directly. Out of my peripheral vision, I scanned the river bank again and planned a potential escape route. Guess I would try to fight to live another day after all.
"Oh, ya startled us. Hay there, stranger. Ah don' believe we've met before. Ah'm Apple Bloom," the red maned suddenly greeted. This caught me off guard but told me what I'd already guessed from her accent. Her smile was polite but I was on to her!
My eyes narrowed slightly and I risked a direct glance towards the river. It was six meters away or so and flowing faster after the storm last night. The one in the middle raised an eyebrow but otherwise wore a neutral expression regarding my complete and total silence. To my surprise, the white pony to her right stepped a little closer though. "Um, hello. My name is Sweetie Belle and this is Scootaloo. She uh, apologies for poking you with the stick, right?" she offered up. Well at least I knew her name now.
"I what?!" Scootaloo, the now identified middle foal asked, staring at Sweetie Belle in surprise while shoving a small stick near her feet away from herself. Attempts to act non-violent and hide prior transgressions. She was crafty! Maybe their leader?
My mind spun its gears rapidly as I thought. I came up with an amazingly brilliant escape plan within seconds. My eyes widened and I gasped, looking over the three. "Oh no! Burning apple cores are falling from the sky!" I shouted, pointing back behind them.
All three ponies freaked out and spun around faster than I thought possible. Yes! They fell right into my trap. With great agility and speed, I booked it towards the river in full retreat, tripping a half meter later and smashing along the bank when hitting the wet dirt. Less than elegantly, I managed to roll twice and splash into the water. My protesting muscles gave out rapidly but victory was achieved!
Apple Bloom walked up next to my slowly drifting form and trotted next to me as I drifted down the river. "That was awfully mean, ya know? Are ya playin' some sorta game, er somethin'?" she asked, giving me an irked look. Crap.
"Maybe he's not feeling well and just wanted us to leave him alone?" Sweetie Belle asked, following along after her.
"Or maybe he's just a dork?" Scootaloo chimed in, mirroring Apple Bloom on the other side.
I sighed, wishing I could just drown so I could escape. "Ya need ta be nicer ah reckon, Scootaloo. He ain't lookin' so good, if ya know what ah'm sayin'," she pointed out. Didn't that work in their advantage?
My head started to ache again and I felt the warmth leaking from it and into the water. Great. I hope blood didn't excite them. Reaching up, I rotated my impromptu bandage and tightened the tie on the one end of it. The stretchy tie knot was within view of my eye that was above the water now and I noticed its rainbow patterns, now my least favorite color. Er, colors? I weakly let my forelegs drop, wondering why they didn't seem to be attacking me and at the same time kind of wishing they'd just get it done and over with.
"Oh my! He's bleeding. We should get him back to the village. That needs to be tended to," Sweetie Belle suddenly announced right on cue. Crap. They did pick up on it instantly. And tended to? What, with seasonings and spices? Oh no! They must keep their food live until they cook it up!
Scootaloo sighed. "Dang, Rainbow Dash must have done a number on you. Fine, let's fish him out of the stream and get him to…" Her ironically truthful statement was interrupted by a sudden, massive gasp. It took me a second to realize she herself had done it.
My eyes shifted over to her instantly and noticed she was staring with utmost intensity at my… butt? Huh? The other two fillies on the other side zoomed in on the same spot the instant they saw her look. There was a momentary pause, and then they suddenly matched her stare. What? What was going on? I was so confused. Was my butt bleeding too?
"Oh mah goodness! He ain't got no Cutie Mark!" Apple Bloom suddenly declared, as if the world were ending. Cutie what?!
"What the hay?! He's a full grown stallion. How can he not have one?" Scootaloo asked on the other side, sounding utterly stunned.
Sweetie Belle stopped walking though. "Oh no. Does that mean we might not get ours after all?" she asked, suddenly sounding extremely sullen. My mind rapidly tried to piece things together. As an adult, I was supposed to have something on my butt or flank that indicated something but I didn't have it. They wanted one as well and seemed downright depressed that they didn't yet. Scootaloo indicated it had to do with adults, so maybe it was some sort of rite of passage?
Apple Bloom suddenly smiled, which made me exceptionally suspicious. "Wait ahn apple buckin' minute! If he doesn't have ah Cutie Mark yet, maybe he can help us get ours instead?" she suddenly reasoned. I swallowed tightly, memory suddenly jumping back to last night. There was, if I remembered correctly, something on Rainbow Dash's flank! A mark of some sort. Oh hell. It was some sort of ritualistic tattoo they got upon reaching adulthood! If I could 'help' them get it, it must be based off their first kill or something!
Thrashing upright in the water, I rapidly tried to swim away, mindful that the water was barely half a meter deep. The lack of capability to trip actually made my progress faster, however!
"Hey! She's right, don't you want to help us get our Cutie Marks?" Scootaloo shouted after me, breaking into a gallop to keep up. Damn her! If only I had half the skill she did at making all of these confounded legs move the right direction.
Panicking, I flailed rapidly into a turn of the river, trying hard to get away from the carnivorous ponies chasing me. All three were managing to keep up, sadly, and I cursed my ineptitude at this current form. I should have practiced more before coming into town. I should have prepared! How stupid was I?
"Wait girls! He needs to get that wound looked at first, then we can help him get his Cutie Mark too, right?" Sweetie Belle suddenly called out, stagnated between gasps of breath.
Wait, help me get a mark? Something fishy was amidst the situation. I glanced back to see how much distance I'd gained on them. I was disheartened to discover that it was barely five meters. Damn their little legs! Scootaloo's eyes suddenly widened considerably and she shouted out, "Hey, look out for the…"
The river suddenly turned, this time without me as I was looking back at them. My surprise set in just as the side of my head smashed into a rather large rock on the bank.
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Two words: SPEECH MARKS
Other than that (albeit major) point, it's good.
There aren't enough facehoofs to go around for all the hilarity this chapter holds, excellent work sir.
Also, as Municipal said, all speech should be enclosed in quotes, makes picking it out much easier
132775
My parcer program I just made ATE THEM! Re-uploaded!!! Everypony, please refresh the chapter and they'll be back. 
OH CRAP!
Wot. Why... Who... WOT??????!!!?!!??
I'm sorry about the goofup with the quotations, everypony.
My parser program I made to format my scene breaks automatically ate them and I didn't notice before posting. Everyone who read it and saw no speech marks, just re-read now. I uploaded the 'correct' version of the chapter now.
131903
And yes, you're correct. There are two endings to the story. I'll be posting both of them and leaving it up to the readers which they wish to accept.
I'm glad you liked the chapter so far.
132790
I hope you forgive me. I'm glad you liked the chapter, though.
Yeah, I apologize. *points up* My parser program did it and I just didn't notice before publishing.
132800
Huh?
That guy... Wow... He's got the wrong idea... BIG TIME!
Carnivorous? Ponies?
If I wasn't already in love with this story from chapter 1, then I wuold say that I've fallen for it now
-Glassed
Awww yea chapter 2 reading now.
YES! An update!!
Our poor nameless protagonist. How he ever survived daily life is beyond me but his suffering brings me joy
That chapter was gone all too quick
Edit: Also so well done 100% worth the wait no... 120% worth the wait
Oh the hilarious effects of paranoia, and the ever present rocks it leads you into.
Ahh Chapter two was equally as enjoyable as chapter one. Thanks. Eagerly awaiting chapter three.
Geeze, what'll happenwhen his fragile sanity comes into contact with Pinkie Pie?
acctually theres more then this chapter facehoofs to go around!
also, fourpony, ever read "cupcakes"
I'm riveted for the next chapter like the hull of a vintage ocean liner.
Good chapter, but question. WHY YOU NO REVISE CHAPTERS FASTER? I NEED MOAR!
WHAT IS THIS GUY?... A RETARD !?
But...but...WHY IS HE SO DENSE?!
Ha ha, romp. I hope to see that appear in a later chapter.
Sooo glad this updated, I really needed it today!
He really loves thinking that unicorns are carnivorous and likes hitting himself on the head for some reason. =P
Carnivorous ponies!?!?
>(Puts on best Monty Python voice)
"RUN AWAY!!!!"
Amazing chapter, even if his continued indifference to the fwendship is irritating... DAMN YOU PROTAGONIST, Y U SO PARANOID?!?! L33t story so far, eagerly awaiting a third chapter! Keep up the gd work brony!! Oh and the irritation is at the character, not you
He's gonna get a cutie mark of a pony-shaped head smacking into something. Because that certainly seems to be his talent.
What a story mark. when is the next chapter coming?
thou sir are a story god... much win for you
Carnivorous Unglates?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq68ghIxQLU
Lol, this is fantastic. Can't wait for more.
Next he wakes up in the hospital, cleaned and covered in bandages, and somehow interprets that as some kind of roasting preparations. I wonder how long it'll take him to finally get the hint that these ponies really aren't trying to kill him...well, except for Rainbow Dash anyway.
I suppose his paranoia is somewhat understandable, though, considering the life he came from, where his entire race was being obliterated by an alien species. Speaking of which, now I'm concerned those aliens will follow him to Equestria.
I can tell this guy has lived a life of war and destruction. He sees some innocent creatures he knows went extinct decades ago and assumes they're carnivorous and dangerous. He sees possible death in everything and constantly assumes the worst possible outcome. Remember guys, he came from a time where the entire human species was being wiped out in an interplanetary war.
I feel bad for the guy.
ah, the paranoia leads to hilarity. And it also apparently causes an attraction similar to magnetism between the skull and various hard objects, yes?
Wonderful chapter and I can't wait for the next ^.^
A romp with rainbow?
Not sure if want...
But I swear to all the good left in the world, you make this anything other than a OCxTwilight ship, and I remake your FACE.
lolpics.se/pics/29008.jpg
Guy: TEH BABEES. DEY ARE OUT TO GET MEH!
134121
Wow, serious about your Fluttershipping, much?
I think we can say with a fair bit of certainty that the protagonist is probably suffering from a fairly serious concussion, amplified by additional impacts since then, amplifying the effects of the original injury. I'm kind of surprised he can do more than drool over himself.
At least that's what I'm telling myself to justify why he's acting so stupid
Wow.
Lots to reply to tonight! Best split this up I think.
132840
I'm glad you like the story, though! I actually took that particular trait from a different character I happened to enjoy. Thankfully he doesn't have weapons, though.
Yeah, it's a running theme with him.
132842
Wooo!
132856
As promised.
132887
Once he decides the ponies aren't going to eat him, it should be better, right? Right? Hee. Hope you like the next chapter as well.
His daily life used to involve a lot more injury, actually.
132898
Epic! And... really creepy use of emoticon.
You can have MORE than 100%?
132917
But I agree fully.
Literally and metaphorically.
132930
You're so amazingly polite and kind. Thank YOU.
I'm glad you liked.
133008
It's coming...
Bad, horrible things.
133016
Epic abuse of the twenty emoticon rule, though.
He'll give you that reaction a lot.
133023
That suggestion is horrifying.
Also, please don't troll fellow readers.
133030
Epic, but thanks, I think?
That is a FASCINATING mental image you just gave me.
133042
Fine, you all asked for it now. Heeeehahahahahahahaa! *coughs* Sorry, anyway, thank you for letting me know you enjoyed it. 
I hope you continue doing so.
That fanfic is why we can't have nice things.
133067
Also, I don't want to rush the edits and get quality loss. But I'll take that as you liking it, so awesome! Thank you for letting me know.
Hmm. To answer, largely because of Assassin's Creed Revelations, Skyrim, D&D, and School.
133107
Severely culture shocked and suffering from both a concussion and PTSD, along with a few other nifty things. His IQ is actually not an issue.
133136
*points up to above post*
Dense wouldn't be a good descriptor.
Okay, splitting time.
Part two!
133163
Clarification is important! And did you have a bad day? 
See him having wild sex with Rainbow Dash or see the topic brought up to bring about social awkwardness all around?
133209
'Loves' is such a subjective word.
133246
FASCINATING! *takes notes*
This story is a hotbed for Monty Python references.
133261
Whew! You had me sad there for a second. But don't worry, I'm sure one of these concussions will knock some friendship into his head.
133274
Maybe I should redesign it?
Hey, you're kinda right.
133353
Ug. Well I thank you, regardless of that. And don't worry about the pee thing. You probably would too in that exact given scenario, with his background.
HiE.......
133425
What is this? And, um, probably Wednesday or Thursday will be the next release.
Story mark?
133433
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I write it for you readers, not the other way around. 
Whoa! Thanks!
133538
That was disturbing on many levels. Thank you.
133545
I'm glad you like.
133729
I wonder how close you are to being right, though? I mean, having an advanced alien race bent on total omnicide getting let loose in Equestria would be really bad. Oh, and your Avi still scares me.
You are awesome.
133802
You're going to be one of those HiE people that are going to be really, really surprised in the future. Ah well. I do agree with you, however. A lot of what he does is indeed justified. He's not exactly the most sane individual at this point.
133808
Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying the story! It makes me happy I wrote it.
Nah, that's just him. His skull will always be magnetized to various nearby blunt objects. Forever.
134121
... *dislikes*
Uh, right.
134159
Especially apples.
He thinks EVERYTHING is out to get him at this point.
134168
Or disappointed. Eh. *peeks around for a blacklist option, just in case* Not to you, of course.
I'm tempted to give away the actual romantic links of the story, but people might be surprised.
134268
Well he definitely has a concussion, which can make thoughts muddled and further lead to dizziness, nausea, and potentially worse repercussions if not treated. Sustaining additional head trauma certainly hasn't done much good, but if it truly makes you feel better, he's also more than likely suffering from PTSD and severe culture/system shock. Not only has he been flung into a totally different world, but his body has been twisted into barely any resemblance to his prior form against his will. Further, one of the things he's come to rely on as his strength and identity has been potentially permanently restricted. Oh, and he's potentially the last of his species after an advanced alien race genocides everything and everyone he has ever loved, and he can't even remember them due to... something. Yeah, really not a good day.
Getting better and better
I'm enjoying this story greatly :D.
From the start it gives off a different feel from other HiE stories (I'm assuming he was human). It's not the typical "OMG IM A PONY!" with a human coming from Earth. The world he comes from is one of fantasy as well. Where he comes from transforming is nothing new and neither is magic.
Wow, from what he's assuming of these peaceful ponies I can't image the horrors that his world contains. War and mass destruction, wow poor guy :(.
On a lighter note I can't help but lol at this guy xD. Just the assumptions that this guy comes up with and his terrible luck so far have me laughing the whole chapter. This is starting out as a great and very interesting story. Can't wait for more :D
Have a good one.
Damn, that pony almost has worse luck then me.
134398
You're welcome
I love this story so far <3
128257
No, it wouldn't lower the quality of the story at all.
In fact, it might make me stop trying to find you so I can beat you up with a rusty spoon until you post the entire damn story
Pleeeeeeeease
Reading this was like watching Galaxy Quest: it made me laugh like nothing before.
I NEED MAH PONI FIX
Sweet Celestia, I feel so freakin' bad for this guy. I actually got out of the hospital last week, and I had been there for a month because I fractured my skull.
Please, updated soon
This story is just pure epicness
<---- bet this is her fault
I feel sorry for the guy, but his pain bring me joy
Great hilarious chapter cant wait to for the next post. Also this guy's universe must have been bucked up if he thinks that ponies eat other ponies
P.S. you deserve a pinkie pie
134420 D: nonono I never meant it to offend you! What I meant was that he's being very suspicious about the D'awwws and HNNNGs of the story, but yeah, concussion, PTSD so on so forth :) in short, I never meant to give you the wrong idea, I actually think that the story is developing amazingly well! /)^3^(\