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Kiroberos 24521

Joined December 2011
1,128 followers

    Kiroberos's Stories (2)

    • Memory Pending
      An outsider finds himself flung into Equestria, and forced into a new form. Will he fit in?

      107,946 words · 24,342 views · 1,589 likes · 31 dislikes
    • Forgiveness Pending
      Moon Mender's adventure continues right where left off. He jumps at the chance for a new life, but will his old one truly leave him in peace? Some things are better off forgotten.
      197,753 words · 4,092 views · 798 likes · 30 dislikes

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    Dreamless this time, I drifted in a void that was my own being.  Surrounding me, as much as I could call it me, was nothing.  Not darkness per say, or any other shade of color.  It was an absence of existence.  I myself was also without body, being only a thinking entity.  This was new, right?  Did that mean I was doing something right, suddenly?  A snap of realization hit me.  Everything made so much more sense to me now.  I was stuck inside of myself because the barrier I put around myself to stop the ooze was still active, wasn't it?  My consciousness couldn't slip back through the link that was still inside of me to that other world; to my other self, who I now realized wasn't as dead as I had originally assumed.  What I saw in my dreams weren't dreams at all then, but me 'waking' as my other self?

    How was it possible?  I knew enough about magic to realize that I should have died almost a week ago.  That was the nature of 'Denique Veneficus', after all.  It used my life force in order to heavily magnify my casting capability.  All of it.  That meant that either something was keeping me alive on the other side, or...

    Well, it had never been proven or disproved, really.  It was just a theory, set aside until alternate dimensions were stumbled upon.  If the Einstein-Rosen Bridge could be crossed, they debated that the time flows between dimensions might not entirely match up.  I usually stopped paying attention when 'parallel universes' and 'doubles' started getting mentioned, though.  Prior to suddenly finding myself as a pony, it didn't exactly have a lot to do with my life.  Essentially, from what little I understood, the theory was that time might move slower or faster in different dimensions.  Normally a moot point as most 'dimensionally traveling' objects got squished into a fine singularity after entering the more traditional wormhole.  Something tells me my case is slightly different, based off the fact that I was somewhat more alive than I'd be otherwise.  

    What did that mean, though?  Ultimately, it came down to only two things.  Something might be forcing me to stay alive, which was really bad news if 'they' had me.  Or time was moving so slowly there that I just hadn't died yet.  Better for Equestria, worse for me.  Now that I had found these ponies, I suddenly realized I didn't want to give them up.  But I was either on a time limit until I died or holding a link open from hell itself directly to their doorstep.  What was I supposed to do?

    * * * * *

    A stirring.  My body recovered from its exertion enough to regain consciousness, it seemed.  Slowly, my eyes cracked open.  Lavender mare staring at me, check.  Feeling like an icicle was stuck through my chest, check.  Symbols covering my skin holding back a hungry eldritch abomination of quantum physics, check.  Still in Equestria, I see.

    "Oh, you're awake.  Thank Celestia!" Twilight Sparkle muttered, exhaling weakly.

    Honestly unsure of what to say to her, and suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable, I simply nodded quietly.  Her eyes softened and lowered a little as she saw my reaction and she looked away.

    "Chin up, ponies!  He's all right, so don't let the silly thing from yesterday stop what's important," I heard Pinkie chime in from somewhere behind me, in a surprisingly whimsical voice.

    Twilight sighed, but nodded.  Her head slowly lowered and rested on the edge of the couch I resided on.  "She's right.  I apologize for my horrible behavior.  I didn't know how to react, and freaked out.  Plus all of this happened.  If you’d been at the library, I might have been able to help you.  After what happened yesterday, I should have realized I needed to keep a watch on you.  This is all," she exploded into apologies, burying her eyes in the edge of the couch.

    “Twilight!” I interrupted, if only to get her attention.  She stopped and looked back up at me, tears now going down her cheeks.  I shook my head gently however and smiled at her.  Once I had her attention, I continued with, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, so I'm sorry too."

    "I've been thinking about it a lot all of last night and I think we need to talk about it later.  But there are more urgent things for now," she muttered, nodding again but looking away from me.  This I wasn’t expecting.  She acted almost ashamed of herself.  I sighed, but was interrupted before I could say anything further.

    "Aahh-greed!  Fer example, properly thankin' ya fer the hocus pocus ya did to get the stuff offa me.  That looked mighty painful for ya from mah end," Applejack suddenly added, popping upside down into my field of vision from above.  There was a light bruise on her cheek and another on her neck from what I could see.  Based off Fluttershy's recovery time, that meant I must not have been unconscious long.

    I chuckled, and reminded, "I was the one that put you in danger in the first place.  If you'd gotten hurt..."  Trailing off, I sighed.  Yeah, I was selfish sometimes.  Ultimately, I didn't want to die.  I wanted to stay here, in this amazing heaven I found.  But it looked like my time was running out and if it came down to dying or potentially killing everypony here, was there really a choice?

    "This isn't your fault, Mender.  I finished compiling the results of my readings from yesterday.  Your arrival was purely by accident and those rocks caused the link still in you to resonate, becoming active again," Twilight explained.

    I nodded weakly.  "I'm connected to my world still and now I'm acting like those rocks, and trying to pull anything with a life signature through that link," I confirmed, not really feeling the energy she had found, somehow.  Still, she had come to the same conclusion I had.

    Her eyes lit up and she suddenly smiled. "Yes, that's what the readings say.  It explains all of the tiny discrepancies I noticed around the crater.  My machine was picking up on you as well!  It was coincidental that this dimension 'passed' close to yours at that exact moment, from what I've gathered so far.  The only two questions that remain are: how did the connection form, and why is it still stable?" she speculated, sitting down on her haunches again and looking perplexed.

    "I'll give you 'insider' information.  The original me is still alive.  Somehow," I revealed, sighing.  I might as well give her as much information as I could.  I didn't see what good any of this would do, as what was coming was pretty much inevitable.

    Twilight's eyes widened and I heard both Applejack and Pinkie Pie gasp.  "Does that mean you're two ponies at once?" Pinkie asked, sounding amazingly fascinated.

    We were all interrupted by a light snoring sound, followed by, “That’s hogwash!”  Blinking, I and everypony else in the room momentarily turned towards the older mare with the light lime coat.  Wait, I thought I’d seen her last night.  Oblivious, her snores continued regardless of the new influx of attention to her.

    Applejack coughed lightly, sounding a little embarrassed.  “Ahm mighty sorry, folks.  Granny’s not used ta havin’ to get up this early.  Don’t mind her,” she muttered, cheeks flushing a little.  Twilight blinked as well, then shook her head and shrugged before looking back at Pinkie Pie.

    "You're not that far off, Pinkie.  So those dreams and visions were dimensional bleeding, not memories.  That explains why Mender displayed elevated PTSD symptoms.  But what made the link and how are you still alive?  It would require a massive amount of energy to open an even temporary gateway," Twilight remarked, looking back at me seeming flustered.  She flipped open what appeared to be the same notebook from yesterday, and started rapidly going over her notes.  Huh, I hadn't considered that.  Posttraumatic Stress Disorder by itself would have been just fine.  But I guess I get the 'dimensional bleed' version.  I'm lucky like that.  Still, it was kind of refreshing to slip back into magical discussion so naturally.  It felt like it was comfortable to me.  I somehow felt safer in topics where I could actually contribute.

    "Now wait just ah apple buckin' minute.  Yer sayin' that he's actin' like ah link ta that place he's from?" Applejack asked, looking flustered.  Twilight seemed perplexed, but simply nodded.  "An' now everypony that pokes him gets pulled away ta that there world?" She continued.  I nodded this time, wondering where she was going with this.  "Then what happens when that one on the other side kicks the bucket, so ta speak?" she asked, uncertain this time.  Ah, that's where she was going.

    Twilight frowned, and her eyes drifted down towards her notes, as if trying to draw assurance from them.  "I...  I don't know.  There are theories, but," she spoke uneasily, before trailing off.

    "Mender's gonna stick around, though, ra-ight?" came the uneasy voice of Apple Bloom.  I glanced over my own body and spotted her sitting next to Pinkie Pie, both on the other cushion of the couch.  Pinkie looked surprisingly thoughtful, but Applebloom was watching me with a rather sad expression.  She was worried?  I hadn't thought I made that good of an impression, unless Sweetie Belle had been talking to her.  Out of the three I’d met so far, she seemed to like me the most, anyway.

    Twilight looked torn and started flipping through her notes again.  I saw a few stray strands of hair that were splitting off from the others at odd angles, and she looked stressed now that I looked closer.  Was it because she stayed up too late analyzing the readings, or because of her freak out yesterday?  Silence held for several moments and I sighed.  She didn't want to say it, and I sort of understood why.  I'll say it for her then, as it had to be said.

    "Anything could happen.  I might be fine, and the link shattered.  Or I might be reliant on that form and fall apart without it.  Alternatively, I might keep functioning but slip into a coma, my mind leaving with the link.  We don't know," I spoke up, feeling gloomy.

    Applejack let out a frustrated snort and came around the side of the couch, stomping her hoof and glaring at me.  She looked a mess honestly, with bruises covering her entire front and both forelegs.  They were ignored however, and she gave a determined nod.  "Well ah say pony feathers ta that!  That just means we gotta hurry up an' do somethin' about it," she declared.  I was slightly taken aback and it must have showed as she got a confident smirk on her expression after a few seconds.

    "Uh, what do you propose?" Twilight asked, looking as surprised as I felt.

    "Easy-peasy!  We just send somepony through with ah link ta Twi, then have 'er do that teleport thing she's so good at, pullin' both the pony, an' Mender's twin back.  Patch him up, good as new, an' we're all fine an' dandy," she elaborated, whacking the floor with her hoof to punctuate each step.

    Twilight stared at her as if she were crazy.  A light smile spread across my face, however.  It was rather simplistic and a few parts needed expanding upon, but honestly, it was a better idea than I had.  Although I had no idea how I could be two people in one spot.

    "It's feasible, although a tad more complicated in execution," I agreed, looking at Twilight.  She seemed to be the undeclared leader of the group, plus I trusted her extensively when it came to magic.  My experience with her was limited, but aside from yesterday, she had always been stable and knowledgeable.

    She watched me for a few seconds, before nodding.  "Well, maybe.  It might work, but we'll need to figure out how to make a safe portal first," she finally admitted, looking a tad flustered.  I raised an eyebrow to her, a little confused by her tension.  Was she still upset about yesterday?  Well, it seemed unreasonable to expect her not to be.

    Twilight dropped her notes to the floor, along with the quill, and sighed weakly, finally looking away from me.  "I scoured the library last night on anything to do with dimensions and came up with pretty much nothing.  Theories and speculation don't help us and the potential risks are massive," she warned, hanging her head and letting her bangs cover her eyes.

    "What choice do we have, Silly?  We need to do something to get him to feel better again, right?  You seem pretty concerned about him," Pinkie added, back to her usual sing-song mannerisms.  Well, she technically spoke true, as I doubted I'd 'get better' on my own.

    Twilight surprised me by simply blushing and remaining quiet.  Pinkie got a knowing grin on her face, but relaxed into the sofa again.  I was about to question Twilight when a quiet "Oh dear," sounded from the doorway.  Glancing over, I saw the busted front door open again and Fluttershy come in, followed rapidly by Rainbow Dash and Rarity.  Fluttershy looked momentarily taken aback before rapidly trotting over to where I lay.  Twilight watched her curiously as she brushed a hoof timidly over my skin, causing a ripple to go along the symbols.

    "It's warded," I assured her, finding the energy to smile at least.  Something about her presence was comforting, regardless.  There was something...  An echo in my mind when she spoke.  What was that?

    "How are ya feeling, Mender?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously, sitting to the other side of Twilight.  Her question snapped me out of my sudden trance and I glanced back over at her.

    Applejack snickered though, and bumped her sideways with her flank, spilling her off her hooves.  "Probably ah tad sore from when ya dropped him on his head, right?" she reminded, winking down at the now blushing cyan pegasus.  Pity I knew it probably wasn't guilt tinting her cheeks, but Applejack's flank instead.

    "Hey, if he lost the barrier when he passed out, I would have been toast if I was still carrying him!" she protested, waving a hoof dismissively towards Applejack.  True enough.  I could take a meter drop or so.  I wasn’t so sure she could survive being eaten by an eldritch abomination.

    Rainbow Dash.  I stared at her for a few seconds before I got a twinge in my head and winced.  Twilight and Fluttershy both started, and leaned closer to me, and the former asked, "Are um, are you a-all right?"

    "Oh dear.  Perhaps we should get him someplace warmer, and a bit to eat?" Rarity suggested, resting on her haunches in front of Pinkie’s spot on the couch and frowning at me.

    I closed my eyes for a few seconds as another wave of dizziness crept over me.  Her image was in the dream.  Was it a dream?  I doubted it.  Those colors.  That meant she was connected to that day.  I looked over at her upon opening my eyes, and found her also looking at me.  Then I noticed they all were looking at me now, having heard Fluttershy and Rarity.  Dash looked surprised to be locked into my focus however, and tilted her head.

    I watched her for a few more seconds before asking quietly, "Rainbow Dash, were you practicing above the field that day of the really bad storm?"

    Her eyes widened in surprise and everypony turned to look at her, Twilight grabbing her notes again with record speed.  "Uh, wait, how the hay did ya know that?!" she asked, looking honestly surprised, and vaguely angry.

    Swallowing, I realized I was right.  Twilight was right.  "Did you do a Sonic Rainboom that day?" I asked weakly, starting to get a bit apprehensive.  Things were starting to slide together again and it was starting to look bad.

    Rainbow's eyes narrowed as she glared at me but Twilight shuffled forwards a little.  "Please, Rainbow.  It um, might be important," she requested.

    "I don't see why it's anypony's business what my training regiments are," she protested, crossing her forelegs in front of her.  Why didn't she want to answer?

    "Please?  Trust me?" I asked tiredly, shifting so I could see her better.

    To my surprise, her eyes softened when I said that and she sighed, looking away.  "I...  I do trust you.  Fine.  I was practicing skywriting.  I got it in my head to try to make the message more awesome with a Sonic Rainboom.  I uh, haven't gotten them down to an exact science yet and I knew I'd be busy with the storm later, so I was practicing earlier in the day," she finally answered.  Ah, that explains why she didn't want to say anything, with the pony of her affections being in the room.

    "Did ya pull it off then, Rainbow?" Applebloom asked with a bit of excitement in her voice, surprising me.  She hopped up, using my left flank as a stool for her two front forelegs, grinning at Rainbow over me.

    Rainbow smiled at her, irritation apparently somewhat disarmed by the little filly's cuteness.  "Yeah, once.  I was ecstatic until I realized it didn't mix well with the rainbow trail and turned my message into bits of burning rainbow, falling towards the field," she elaborated, blushing again.  Somehow, I managed not to laugh.  Yeah, that wouldn't convey that particular message with the best presentation.  Nothing says I love you like burning chunks of rainbow falling from the sky I suppose.  However, it all slid together in an instant.

    Applejack snickered and nodded to Rainbow, helping her up as Twilight turned and looked back at me, questioningly.  Yup, it told me what I needed.  The rocks and I arrived at the same moment, if Twilight's theory of dimension shifts was accurate.  We were phased out of my reality at the exact second my spell activated.  It dug into me to use my life-force to fuel it at the same moment the atmosphere exploded from the energy of the planet buster.  It had been known to happen before.  Barriers were conductive to other forms of energy, and I must have gathered it like a lightning rod.  Then, as Twilight said, the dimensions shifted close to each other and Rainbow Dash did her Sonic Rainboom in the same area, generating a huge amount of energy on this side and forming the link with the resonations.  Due to the time differences, she actually had a feasible window of opportunity to do so, I calculated.  

    Of course, her Rainboom wasn't on the same level as the planet buster so there had to be some localization involved.  The field she was in probably was close, locally, to my area through the dimensional phasing.  The probabilities surrounding the event were phenomenally mind-boggling.  Regardless, the Rainboom synergized with my barrier, which was tied to me, and I bled through, splitting my life force and having a new body form due to the regenerative effect I had on me before the battle, standard issue.  Probably, anyway.  But why a pony?  My deductions sort of dwindled at that point.  Ah well.  It hardly mattered, as I had most of the pieces to the mystery.

    I must have zoned for a few moments.  "Uh, Mender?  Are you okay?" Twilight asked, looking concerned.

    "Yeah.  I well, um...  I think I was one of those burning bits of rainbow, Dash," I admitted, swallowing.  Both Twilight and Rainbow's eyes expanded to the size of saucers.

    * * * * *

    Stretching, I tried to keep warm in the high altitude air by rubbing my forelegs together. It didn't help much and my coat ended up puffing anyway.  It was still a beautiful view, however.  The hot air balloon swayed gently in the wind and I was positioned so I could look over the side.  We were quite high up, and the view was amazing.  Gentle moisture from the clouds around us clung to the side of the basket, and silently turned to frost.  It was peaceful, if not melancholy environ, that I drew comfort in.  The sea of clouds washed away the view of the ground far below and it felt like my worries went with it.  Twilight's sensor device continued to make a light ticking noise behind me, and I heard the light scribbling on her floating notepad next to her as she glued her eyes to the device.

    "This is crazy," she muttered again, after looking up from the dancing lines across the paper readout.

    Rainbow Dash snickered from the other side of me and I heard shifting of leather.  "You said that already, Twi, but you know we don't have the time to be sane," Rainbow remarked, sounding deceptively excited.  I could tell, even with the potential danger, she was getting giddy.  She seemed the type who loved the adrenaline rush.

    "We need to think this out more.  If anything goes wrong, anything at all, it could mean getting lost in a totally different place, possibly forever," Twilight warned, looking exasperated.

    Rainbow rolled her eyes and sighed.  "And if we don't hurry, what's the risk of some horrible race of unstoppable monsters invading and destroying like, everything?" she returned, adjusting her wings again.  Fluttershy stood behind her, softly manipulating the series of leather straps that Rainbow Dash wore in a makeshift harness.  Embarrassingly enough, with my current level of strength and barely having the ability to walk by myself, I wouldn't be able to hold onto her at normal speeds, let alone the velocity we needed to accomplish opening a gate.  Thus, the harness.  I’d recovered some of my strength after waking up, but I was nowhere near the level I was before.  Which was to say, I was even weaker than my prior pathetic self.

    Twilight looked beyond frustrated but she nodded sharply, accepting the point.  I had to agree.  There was no way of knowing how risky it was leaving an open connection to those monsters, because I knew full well what they were capable of.  "Without the ability to experiment, this is the most accurate method possible.  Recreate the angle, location, speed, and even the mare involved.  This is the best shot we have," I added, shifting my attention to the ground instead.

    "I know.  I just really don't like having nothing really solid to go on.  Plus, the plan risks two of my best friends," she muttered, checking her readings for probably the hundredth time.  Best friend?  She hadn't even known me a week yet.  I took a reign check on my thoughts, deciding they might be a little too cynical.  I rephrased it a little before voicing it.

    "Mmm, you've only known me a little less than a week, though," I pointed out, deciding that was phrased a little less venomously.

    Twilight stopped taking scribbled notes and looked back over at me, a slightly saddened expression adorning her features.  "You think too little of yourself, Mender.  I think I safely speak for everypony when I say you're a good pony, and a friend," she reiterated.  I'd heard her say it before, but it was more than a little difficult to actually 'listen' to it; to believe it.  Was I a good pony?  I didn't want to die, honestly.  If that's what it took to destroy the link, what was I supposed to do?  Could I honestly live with myself if I potentially doomed this entire dimension to repeat what happened in mine?  No.  As much as I didn't want to admit it, Equestria was honestly bigger than I could ever hope to be.  Was it too late to be a truly good individual, though?

    "We're d-doing this to save you, r-right?  That has to prove that w-we're your friends," Fluttershy spoke quietly, agreeing in a hushed whisper.

    I nodded gently, still plagued with guilt over my own feelings and wondering how much easier it would be to simply topple over the edge of the balloon.  No more choices, no more greed or selfish impulses.  Equestria's potential problems would be erased along with my life, and ponies could move on without me, no longer in any danger from ‘them’, the Grosh.  Shuddering at the name, I found myself considering me more as an intruder, a disruption, than just a traveler.  If I was truly a mistake, it meant I didn't belong here complicating things, no matter how kind and friendly I tried to be.  No matter how friendly they were to me.

    Twilight swallowed uncomfortably in the silence, eyes filled with unease and apprehension.  She looked stressed, like she had a horrifying secret bottled up for centuries and desperately wanted to pull it out of her.  Well, I probably saw it as more dire than it was, but she certainly looked strung out.  "Just be careful today, both of you.  You two need to be all right, okay?" she requested, eyes softening as she looked down again.

    "Relax, Twi!  I'm a pro at speed, so there's really no danger," Rainbow half assured, half bragged cockily.

    Twilight let out a giggle and seemed to agree, smiling quietly at Dash.  She trusted her, obviously.  Rainbow's boisterous nature served to vent the stress of the situation amazingly, as well.  She kept things lighthearted, similar to Pinkie Pie.  She also distracted them all from noticing I made no such promises.  If it came down to either myself or Equestria, no matter how vague the potential threat may be, I vowed to make the correct choice.  I turned and looked back over the side, lowering my eyes and steadying my resolve.  I needed to focus.

    We were at the right altitude.  A direct angle to the crater point, at roughly eighty-five degrees, and a good half dozen kilometers off the ground, moderate cloud cover around us.  A light parting of the clouds occurred and I watched the four large flags being erected on the ground level by Applejack and Rarity.  They were lined up with the crater, and angled to face us as we stayed anchored above the calculated point where Rainbow fired off the Sonic Rainboom that day.  It was a simple plan.  Fire another one off at the exact same spot, with me in the middle of it, and try to open another stable portal.

    Easier said than done, I know.  Failure at that step meant pretty much nothing, however.  I saw the pink pony circling below us still, on that strange gyrocopter machine she had.  She had finished setting up the large net directly in our path of descent.  I checked the velocity and mass calculations myself, and both Twilight and I agreed that it should stop a potentially lethal fall should the portal fail to open.  Rainbow thought it was unneeded but Twilight insisted on it.  I wasn't worried about the cyan mare's abilities so much, but on the effects of trying to pull this off with me on her back.  A solid five minutes passed in silence, before Twilight put her now rather sizable notes down again.

    "Okay, from these calculations, you're right.  I triple checked the results dozens of times, so there's not much else for it.  In all theory, repeating the same experiment as close as possible should yield the same results," Twilight agreed finally, giving me a weak smile.  On the bright side, things were significantly less awkward now that she seemed frustrated about something other than me and her flank.  Still unsure if that's a good thing, but I'll have to look into it more at a later date.  Well, provided I was still alive.

    I nodded quietly, smiling back at her.  "You did the calculations right.  With the time lapse variation, our window should still be wide open for a good forty-eight hours.  We can try this as many times as needed today and still have clearance to try something else if it doesn't work.  And empirically, this is our most accurate shot," I reminded.

    Her eyes softened towards me and she nodded, a genuine smile appearing on her face this time.  Rainbow snickered behind me, and I braced for verbal impact.  "I never thought I'd see another pony who can say so much, yet nothing at all," she remarked.

    "Hey, just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean he's not saying anything," Twilight defended, much to my surprise.  She actually defended me?  Well, technically herself, too, but still!

    "Relax, Twi!  I'm just happy hearing all the magic dork babbling cheers you up.  Or is that a hint of hot and bothered I see in your eyes?" she questioned, teasing playfully with a wink.  Twilight switched to shocked and blushing in a heartbeat.  Fluttershy, however, jerked stiffly while adjusting the middle back strap as if burned, and Rainbow instantly let out a pained choking noise as she flailed her forearms, eyes bugging out.  I tried my hardest not to laugh, as it was rude for one, but would also draw attention to my own lightly flushed cheeks.

    Fluttershy was scarlet and gawking bluntly at Twilight, body rigid.  Twilight stared back awkwardly, blushing lightly before coughing.  Fluttershy seemed to notice what she was doing to Rainbow a few seconds later.  She made a squeaking noise, and slid the strap back into place, somehow blushing even more than before.  The cyan pegasus gasped and fell to all fours, holding her neck with one hoof while glaring back at Fluttershy.

    Twilight glared at Rainbow instead.  "Okay, you deserved that," she muttered, shaking her head and wearing a victorious smirk instead.  Her cheeks were still a bright crimson, but I said nothing lest she kick me out of the balloon this time instead.

    Rainbow sighed and sat up again.  "I was just kidding.  Sheesh," she defended, rasping.

    "Rainbow," I muttered, frowning towards her.  Her eyes lowered away from me and she nodded.

    "I know.  I got you in trouble once already 'cause of my mouth.  Honest, I was just teasing," she swore.

    Twilight raised an eyebrow at her, however.  "Wait, you never got him in trouble.  What are you talking about?" she asked.  Huh?  How was being kicked out of the library not being in trouble?

    Rainbow seemed to silently agree, as she tilted her head towards the lavender unicorn.  Fluttershy also seemed to be recovered from her massive blood rush enough to give a questioning glance as well.  "Uh, Twilight, ya kind of kicked him out of the library.  I'd say that's as 'in trouble' as it gets with you, no?" Rainbow pointed out, flexing her wings out again.  She had such a way with words.

    "What?  No, I didn't kick him out.  I just um, didn't want him in the loft at night.  Is a little privacy so wrong?" she reasoned, defensively crossing her forelegs.  I rotated back around to face them again as the whirling noise ascended to my right.  This wasn't going to be pretty.

    "Oooh, but Fluttershy said you hurled his bed down the stairs and almost flattened him with it!" Pinkie exclaimed merrily, leveling her copter off with the height of the balloon.

    "What?!" Twilight yelped, turning and glaring at the new verbal assaulter.

    Fluttershy blushed, but coughed.  "W-well you kinda did.  Um, no offense.  Please don’t be mad," she muttered weakly.

    "Hey, it had a good couple meters of clearance from me," I tried to defend.

    Rainbow burst into laughter, and Pinkie looked deeply amused.  Twilight blushed furiously again and looked down at the floor of the balloon.  "Y-you could have stayed in the library, Mender.  Just um, not in the loft," she addressed directly to me.

    Fluttershy looked sad, and beat me to responding unfortunately, asking, "Y-you wanted him to stay in the m-main floor where all the p-ponies visit, and the night d-draft?"  Oddly, there was the slight hinting of disapproval in her voice.

    "No, she was planning on throwing him in the basement," Rainbow Dash muttered sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

    "Oooh, spooky!" Pinkie added, sounding oddly excited.

    Fluttershy gasped, now looking horrified and apparently having missed the sarcasm completely somehow.  Twilight glared at Rainbow instead.  "That's horrible!  H-How could you, Twilight?  He's s-sick!" Fluttershy protested, a few decibels louder than usual.  Gullible, but very loyal.  I caught myself blushing again.

    "I was kidding, Fluttershy," Rainbow groaned, slapping a hoof to her face.

    "Ug, fine!  I'm sorry.  I know I overreacted.  I'm not comfortable with things I can't study and have no experience in," she apologized, flopping onto her forelegs.

    I nodded gently.  "I know how you feel.  A lot of things can be really scary when you know very little about them," I agreed.

    Twilight smiled up at me softly, looking grateful.  Pinkie giggled and nodded behind her, as well.  "Then you just need to get to know him more, right?  He's not going to hurt anypony," she reasoned, smiling while hovering closer on her machine.

    Sighing, I slid down the side of the basket and sat down tiredly on the floor.  I'd never hurt any of these amazing ponies.  Fluttershy sat down half a meter away, and looked at me with concern.  Twilight, who was already sitting, frowned as well and scooted closer.  "Are you alright?" she asked hesitantly.

    "I’m just a little tired.  I'd never hurt either of you.  And I understand why things are the way they are," I assured quietly, looking down instead.

    Rainbow raised an eyebrow but Fluttershy tilted her head and asked, "W-what do you mean?"

    I shook my head weakly, not really wanting to discuss it.  Rainbow surprised me by suddenly letting out a gasp, followed by a feisty glare.  "You never told me what was wrong!" she suddenly announced out of nowhere.  Huh?

    Pinkie giggled lightly above me somewhere.  "He likes Fluttershy, duh!  Her saying that would kinda hurt," she explained for me.  My 'secret' being told didn't really even register in my mind and I continued blankly staring at a spot on the balloon gondola's wall somewhere between Dash and Twi's machine.

    "What?!" Rainbow Dash gasped, looking stunned.

    "Pinkie!  How did you find out?" Twilight half asked, half reprimanded.  Fluttershy looked down sadly but also wore a light blush.  I shifted my attention to her.

    Pinkie giggled again, sounding like she moved closer to the gondola wall.  "Well it was super-duper obvious, but my Pinkie Sense was a twitchy twitchin' when he looked at Flutters!  And Twi too!  Somepony's rather indecisive!" she exclaimed mirthfully and I felt a hoof patting me on the head.

    My eyes drooped and I nodded weakly, looking at my hind legs.  This was probably strange posture for a pony, but I didn't really care.  "If I'm still alive by the end of the week, I'm going to have to figure out something to fix that," I muttered, mostly to myself.

    Fluttershy frowned and shifted closer to me, putting a hoof on my left back knee.  Were all four 'knees' now, or were the front two elbows?  Twilight maintained a blank expression, but I saw her swallow uneasily.  She knew that me not surviving was a possibility.  "Don't be a frowny face.  Dash here will make sure you're totally all right!  She's an amazing flier," Pinkie assured, in a softer voice.

    Dash smiled and nodded confidently, walking towards me.  "Don't worry about it, Mender.  I'm sticking with ya through the whole thing," she assured, a twinkle dancing in her eyes.  She still looked excited but proud, confidence almost dripping off of her.  It was hard to resist her energy this time and I smiled as well, nodding back up at her.

    "Then let's just get this over with.  Hit 'em hard and fast, then we can be home and laughing by the end of the day," she offered, extending her hoof towards me, still smirking.

    Nodding, I hooked hooves with her and let her pull me to into a sitting position.  She nodded and turned away from me, lowering herself to the floor of the gondola.  I closed my eyes, gathering my confidence up again, before stepping slowly onto her back and into the harness.

    Comments ( 164 )

    #1 · 64w, 5d ago · · 1 ·
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    #2 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Just checked to see updates, saw this one did, awesome. Reading now.

    Alright, since I haven't really made any long comments on this story since I was saving it for towards the end: here you go.

    I have absolutely enjoyed this story, you've set up a great dynamic here, and i've loved the interactions between each of the characters thus far. I've also enjoyed how it's a different take on the "X gets sent to Equestria" type of story, it's nice to see a non-human react in this happy-go-lucky setting.

    Mender comes off as a great OC as well, he's quite neurotic and I just love that. He's socially awkward, anxious all the time, and just has a hard time fitting in. The fact that he winds up unconscious in 3/4 of the chapters is a pretty good ongoing joke.

    I'm looking forward to seeing how this whole portal thing winds up, we have two more chapters do we not? Anyhow, here's to some great writing that keeps me coming back for more.

    #3 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Woo! Update! Was looking forward to this.

    Edit: Wow. I'm almost scared that you're considering Mender not surviving the events that'll follow this chapter D: but that'd be crazy, what with you already considering a sequel/continuation. This was, overall, a very nice chapter. Introducing some pretty cool concepts, man :D can't wait to see how they react to the body they pull from the other dimension (or if DO manage to retrieve it). As for the various potential romances, I feel like it's leaning towards twilight at the moment. That would be fun to work with in a sequel.

    JZG
    #4 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>255182

    It was during a session of D&D. We were being extremely paranoid and checking the oranges for traps, just in case they might explode. :raritywink:

    #5 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Hey, Kiroberos, you know what I find awesome? Just after you reply to my comment, there is an update of your fic. And I love it. I mean like,  I really enjoy it. It is a masterpiece of fics. Just tell me one thing , you are not actually making Mender leave Equestria forever, are you?

    ~Morning Dart

    #6 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    If we're getting the human version of Mender in the story as well, I'm gonna be very very very excited! :rainbowkiss:

    The relationship between Mender, Twilight and Fluttershy is getting more awkward by the second :rainbowlaugh:

    Great chapter Kiro!

    -Glassed

    #7 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    :pinkiegasp: That has been my face for like the last 4 chapters solid.

    I do have to admit a little bit of incredulity at the fact that twilight hasn't asked for help from her teacher, who also happens to be a living GOD. Besides that, I have a feeling I'm going to have to crack open a bottle of Vodka to get over the last chapter. :fluttercry:

    #8 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Oooh, that cliffhanger is so frustrating :twilightangry2:

    ...This experiment is gonna end badly, I can tell.

    #9 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I predicted that this would be up today, lol. Brilliant, can't wait for the next act.

    #10 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    amazing chapter.  And Fluttershy knows :D  I still hold my belief, MENDERSHY SHALL PREVAIL!

    #11 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I want twimender. :twilightblush:

    More. Now.

    #12 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Huh, so I was right on the rainboom link, and the whole thing with his shield spell channeling energy from the planet buster, yet it never even occurred to me that he was still alive over there too. :derpyderp1:But being in two places at once is so obvious!:derpyderp2:

    Hmm, as soon as the idea was mentioned that the goo-envelopment process is attempting to drag living things through the connection, I started wondering who the pony silhouette was from that morning in Applejack's house. Since he was only half awake at the time, we still don't know if it was like a psychic bond type thing (which it seems like Fluttershy or such might have mentioned if they were aware of it too), entirely dreamed, distorted bleed-over from his other life, or a physical pony he just wasn't awake enough to see clearly. If it was an actual pony, then it's probably not good that she just wasn't there anymore when he woke up the rest of the way. Did somepony get pulled through already? Not sure who it could have been though, since everyone plausible seems to be accounted for. Unless it was Sweetie Belle somehow, but that seems rather unlikely.

    So if this plan succeeds, and they pull his old body through, maybe that'll solve the problem of having to choose Twilight or Fluttershy. There'll be one of him for each of them! Just so long as one of them is into freaky alien bodies. Actually, Fluttershy likes animals, that'd probably be perfect for her. Or maybe they could just make his old body into a pony too. More realistically, though, it seems like he can only be conscious in one body at a time, and his old body is probably moments from death anyway, even if they recover it, so it'll likely just enable him to stay alive in pony form.

    Assuming it ends up with just one Mender, Fluttershy and Twilight are going to have to hold a cute-off competition to decide who gets him. Adorable vs. Adorkable, no matter who loses, everyone else wins.

    #13 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>255182 Oh no, that's not what I meant. I thought you might think I was copying you lol ^_^ Would you mind if I used your character in a later chapter of mine? How you've set him up works perfectly with the laws of the universe I'm working with. I'll link back to here of course if you let me :)

    #14 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Oh, hell.

    ΔΓ

    #15 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    That was so awesome. I hope Mender can stay in Equestria and find love! :twilightoops:

    The next chapter can't come soon enough!!!!!

    #16 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    NOOO, DON'T DO IT, JUMP OVER THE EDGE. I'm very sorry but its for the good of equestria. Maybe they can turn mender in to stone to block the connection but mender could still stay in equestria...i know i know, but its better than to have those things even have a chance of getting through.

    The idea of evil seeping through a connection has been hanging in the back of my mind since this story started. I'm still a bit worried about the knowledge of his world he carries with him, twilight has already shown that they can be accessed. You pulled the explanation of how the whole dimmension crossing thing worked of very well. But the reveal of the evil alien name felt kind of anticlimactic, like we all suddendly should know the name. Maybe just leave it to really evil alien race.

    Its seems the ponies still do not fully realize what they are dealing with, and i fear it will cost them dearly once they go through the connection. Mender seems to have a lot of confidence in them, but it would make more sense if first he was shocked of the idea of them going to his world. He also seems to have better control of his magic, now that he is able to string his life force to a body his hormone problem should be easy to handle (if he remembers). There is one blank spot and that are the stones, I still do not fully understand what they are, are they magic portal devices since they went through the portal, would that mean that if someone in menders world would touch the ponies get teleported to equestria, why did mender not turn into a dimmension to hell immediatly, does it only work for inanimate objects? And i did miss an explanation of where he was once he had awoken, is he in the library? or did i just mis that part.

    Still great part, but it feels rough around the edges.

    #17 · 64w, 5d ago · 1 · ·
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    >>255202

    Oh god, not a firster.  Do any of you know how annoyingly idiotic the whole "first" thing is?

    I really couldn't care less how creative you try to make it.  You're still basically shouting "FIRST!"  Gah.

    :facehoof:

    #18 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I just love how awkward this keeps getting.

    #19 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Im for Twi ! Sorry Flutters... already reading another story where you are the love interest of the OC.

    I can only hope ! :twilightblush:

    #20 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>255581

    Now that would be a fun side-story!  Twilight versus Fluttershy, in an Antarctic pyramid constructed by Celestia herself...

    #21 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Hmm, some interesting reactions to his indecisiveness.

    >>255182

    Hmm, I'm gonna have to look for that, and early postings are awesome, especially when timed when I walk in my door, again :derpytongue2:

    #22 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I think I just realized we were having a vote on shipping. Or is that already over?

    If it's not, my vote goes for Moonlight! :twilightsmile:

    (Sorry Fluttershy :fluttercry: )

    Also, I'm sorry to say, I have recently discovered 'Fallout: Equestria,' and sadly your story is no longer my favorite fanfic :pinkiegasp:

    (It still excited me as much as usual, when I got the E-mail telling me this story had updated :pinkiehappy: )

    It seems to not only be Twi who can't tell when Rainbow is kidding, is it really that hard? :rainbowhuh:

    Well, thinking about it, in those situations it probably is.

    When you finish this story, I will be very sad :raritydespair:

    So I certainly hope you get over your writer's block, and finish the sequel! :duck:

    #23 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    My mind is blown :applejackconfused:

    I hope Mender's gonna be alright :fluttershysad:

    PS: THE AWKWARDNESS, IT BURNS!!

    Insane rambling aside, Great chapter! :pinkiehappy:

    MoonShy for President, that is all

    #24 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    FlutterXMender!

    I love this fic.:pinkiehappy:

    #25 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Ladies and gentlemen, our villains have a name! :pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:

    Really enjoying this story good sir, particularly Mender's thoughts, which are both insightful and hilarous. Keep up the good work!:twilightsmile:

    #26 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Hmm... Well this is gonna be a mind blowing few days, I wonder what RD's reaction will be to Mender's humanoid body. Or for that matter the PLANET DESTROYER!!!!!!!!!! :pinkiegasp:

    You and your cliff hangers :pinkiesad2:

    #27 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Ok, 2 reasons for not having a long comment. 1: It's like periphery took the words out of my mouth, which is weird but kinda amazing, and 2: because it's 0:30 am here, im practically dead on my feet, aswell as simply not having the words to describe this chapter, so I'll just settle with 'eeyup'. :eeyup: I really hope that they all get through alive, that mender doesn't permanently go back to his old world, that the Grosh don't do a number on Equestria, and that none of the others get psychologically scarred by what they might experience. Grats again Kiroberos, and I'd rather neither got mender than one of them missing out, although that's just Cus it'd be awkward and sad etc. anyways, much longer than intended, and I am already eagerly awaiting the next update :P

    #28 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Aw, I was rooting for Menderlight. They would make such a cute nerdy couple :fluttercry:

    #29 · 64w, 5d ago · · 1 ·
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    >>255648 i like your name, so i'm not going to kill you YET :pinkiecrazy:

    #30 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Bloody splendid! Love the personal interaction. And Pinkie's foglight on it :rainbowlaugh:

    #31 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Planet buster? Grosh? Getting some Spore vibes here.

    Also, "I took a reign check on my thoughts, deciding they might be a little too cynical." Looks like you conflated "rain check" with "reign in".

    #32 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    The Grosh, eh? Interesting name. I'm imagining some sort of large hairy beast with lots of pointy appendages.

    "Still unsure if that's a good thing, but I'll have to look into it more at a later date." Ooh Mender, you sly dog, what are you thinking?

    That little stare off between Twilight and Fluttershy was rather tense. Are they going to duke it out for Mender's love? Or cute it out? That would be SO AWESOME:rainbowkiss:!

    Anyway, nice pacing with the chapters! I love when an author knows how much to give out and doesn't rush the story. Still, those 6K odd pages sure go by fast. I heartily enjoyed reading this. Take it away Pinkie, for pointing out the elephant in the room! Or sky, in this case.

    #33 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    And here I was wondering what to do next.

    #34 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Think it could be a very interesting if you ended with Mender fully returning to his first body, then in the sequel he is trying to get back to Equestria. It would give you a lot of room to play around with how things were in Mender's previous life, and it would give you more time to further traumatize Mender. And who doesn't love that?:pinkiehappy:

    #35 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    My god you are such a great writer! :moustache:

    The explanation for menders dimensional crossing works out quite well

    and the akward tension between Fluttershy and Twilight is so palpable it makes me jittery!

    (random speculation --->Ranibow Dash and Mender both get transported to his world and end up having to flee for their lives and find a way back to Equestria while being chased by aliens... but thats just my overactive imagination):pinkiehappy:

    MOAR PLZ!!!

    oh and... curse you cliffhangers!!!

    PS: If there is a poll my vote goes towards Menderlight :twilightblush:

    #36 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I vote for MoonShy (haha sounds like moon shine)/ MenderShy/ FlutterMoon

    :yay:

    Hope everything turns out ok. :fluttershysad:

    #37 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    *Bzzt* "This is delta force! Urgent message for base!"

    *Static* "State the message private!"

    "The FiM fiction called "Memory Pending" has not come to chapter 14 yet, Sir!"

    *Bzzt* "WHAT!?!? MEN!"

    "Prepare to launch operation new chapter!" :trollestia:

    No but seriously nice story, i enjoy it very well! Have a track and some staches! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

    #38 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Why is this story so good :o

    #39 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Twimender ftw!

    Fluttermender just doesn't feel right at all.

    well thanks for updating I'm stuck in bed for a month.

    I'm so booooord!

    #40 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I think the easiest thing to do would be to knock off his other self. I mean, he's kind of tied to two bodies, so if you *kill* one of them, whatever counts as  a soul or life-force should cling to the other half. I see several problems with that: Mender having internal conflict over whether to return to his own kind, or forever be a pony in a whole different world with different rules and beliefs, the ponies being less than willing to kill "him", demise of the one of them severing what i'll call the "dimensional link" and potentially stranding them on what's left of Earth (not sure what else to call it). Bringing back his other self/body, if there's anything left of it could present a problem as well, to the tune off the first  two of the last problems. There's even the issues of whether a human's/pony's mind can stand being split and conscious in two separate bodies. Will their physical actions be linked/separation, could his mind end up split in two, creating two whole creatures out of them?

    That doesn't even deal with the possibility that there is something on the other side keeping him alive intentionally or unintentionally, or what the results are of a planet wrecking weapon. Black Holes anyone?

    This is an awfully risky endeavor, Twilight and her friends aren't exactly expendable, and none of them want to leave Equestria forever or die. Of course, maybe if they provide enough "power" to the link they can bring both ends of it together and make it a one-way inter-dimensional trip, after all it sounds like his pony body is a result of an energy form of part him being forced into a physical body that fits the other universe (maybe it was even random or affected by ponies nearby).

    The saddest outcome would be leaving behind a basically brain-dead pony, or delayed, but certain death. In any case, he's going to have to unbind some of that magic, so it doesn't drain him to death if it hasn't already. Tangentially perhaps being a live, and otherwise healthy pony on one end is actually functioning as an energy source that is being siphoned off to keep the other part of him alive, in which case he's going to be constantly tired and worn out on the best of days until this is all resolved.

    Why hasn't anyone even so much as contacted Princess Celestia, are they so self-assured or just typically action without much forethought as ponies and humans alike are wont to do.

    Lots of thoughts and ramblings about this. Waiting hopefully for the next chapter. :twilightsmile:

    >>255202

    Now where did I put that equally almighty scythe of last... My bet is that if I were to use it against yours they would annihilate themselves in a giant multicolored explosion. :trixieshiftright:

    #41 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Another amazing chapter.  This story is among the top of my favorite stories.  I'm looking forward to the next chapter with much joy.

    Well only one thing left for me to put in here for this comment for such a great story:

    #42 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    If this entire voting thing turns into a 'Are you team Edward or team Jacob?' thing, then there is gonna be a lot of crying... Mostly from me, BUT STILL!...

    #43 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I need to stop reading these comments..

    They were once entertaining, but now they hurt my brain. :fluttershbad:

    I like the chapters though. They're funsies.  :twilightsmile:

    #44 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>255202 All first means is that your the first to be forgotten.

    Love the awkwardness of everything happening! Also, Moonlight.

    Can't wait for the next chapter!

    #45 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    So I hear somepony enjoys ponies with theories eh? >>Periphery, you are definately winning in this catagory...for now. Haha.:derpytongue2:

    Deneque Veneficus. I did a bit of research on that one. It was bugging me for some reason until I realized it's origins. In the end I think you were aiming for "Final Magic" or something along those lines. It fits amazingly well considering what the effect is supposed to be. As always your word choice is excelent.

    I seem to be at a total loss of proper words for the reason for Menders appearance in Ponyville. The sonic rainboom being involved in the whole thing was a partial theory I had nagging at the back of my mind at one point, but it was lost in the overwhelming urge to sleep instead of think. :rainbowlaugh:

    Now, here comes my theory that may be the best I will have during the whole story (hopefully). As mentioned in this chapter there is a time difference between the two dimentions. As far as we know, Mender has been in Equestria for little less than a week. By his theories his old body should have been long dead within that sort of time period which means a week in Equestria should equal something like an hour or two in his world. If him and Dash do successfully manage to, not only reestablish a portal to his world, but also cross it, then the time difference should come into effect. Knowing his luck they very well may end up on the other side with the portal temporarily closed behind them. With this in mind, a few minutes in his world could seem like possibly an entire day back in Equestria. I can imagine this causing quite the panic with everypony else. Pehaps even some drastic measures by Twi. :twilightoops: This is the most long winded theory I have had so far and has quite a few holes and rooms for serious error, but what the hey, I like to think I'm at least attempting to come up with a logical hypothesis. Also, since it's a weekend, sleep is not high on my prioirty list as of now so this gives some time for a bit of speculation.

    WOW:rainbowderp: That turned out way longer than it should have been. Time to condense! Love your story as always. Chapter answered a lot of questions. Mender has way too many big problems to deal with. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter! Now for the biggest question tonight!!!...Battlefield, MW3, Minecraft, or Gmod? Decisions, decisions...

    P.S. (Dont take this wrong but...just where the HELL is Trollestia at during this whole mess??? They really dont know what they are getting into, do they?)

    #46 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    "I triple checked the results dozens of times"

    #47 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    it took a damn long time to get here, but I'm okay with this.

    Now it is starting to get... delicious.  :trixieshiftright:

    #48 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    You are NOT making him leave Equestria.

    Please? :fluttershysad:

    Azu
    #49 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    this chapter really sealed the deal imo, making Moonlight the most logical conclusion. while Fluttershy is my favorite pony and i almost always root for her and the OC, i have to admit twilight should win this one. while mender 'likes' Fluttershy, he really doesn't share that much in common with her. on the other hand Mender feels comfort and safe speaking naturally about of magic and theories with Twilight, not to mention they are both intellectuals and socially awkward. :pinkiehappy: theres just so many reasons why Moonlight is what it should be.

    also, I think most of the Moonshy voters are Bias towards Fluttershy just because shes Fluttershy :trixieshiftright:

    anyways, back to the story.

    *Ahem* I was right all along!! :ajsmug:

    "What?  No, I didn't kick him out.  I just um, didn't want him in the loft at night.  Is a little privacy so wrong?" i knew twilight wouldn't just kick him out! it was just pony's jumping to conclusions. that makes me feel a lot better knowing that was the case. :twilightsmile:

    Things are really getting intense! the chapter just came out and I'm already starving for more! :raritydespair:

    #50 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Oh Celestia. Rainbow Dash is flying with Mender, only bad could come out of this.:rainbowdetermined2:

    #51 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>255182

    Hmmm, if you can't decide then I will be obtuse and toss in a pony like Colgate, cause who honestly wouldn't want naturally minty fresh breath.  :raritywink:

    #52 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I saw you updated while I'm camping out in the middle of nowhere. I read the chapter at 4am because I couldn't wait. Man Ive read your story t hus far like thre e times over already and I still can't get enough. Please never stop writing

    #53 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    #54 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>255197 - MorningDart

    Magic works for me! :twilightsmile:  Some computer issues are better explained that way anyway.

    >>255202 - DJ bl4ck0ut

    Oooh, a very cool scythe indeed. :pinkiesmile:  Alas, you're actually second, by less than a minute.  Still, it's a cool picture!

    >>255205 - Spiili

    Yup, two more chapters. :twilightsmile:  I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.  It's tricky working in humor and a dark back-story at the same time, but the whole thing was a lot of fun to write.  I was tired of all the humans getting sent to Equestria, so I decided to find out what it would be like if something NOT human got sent there instead.  And thus we get Mender.  A little psychologically imbalanced and neurotic, yes, but rather harmless and innocent, being tossed into a world he's totally unaccustomed to.  Little did he realize, it's a world of colorful talking ponies and multiple blunt head traumas.

    >>255255 - GarlicParsnip

    Who knows.  It's only a considered sequel.  And I never actually said where or when it would be taking place. :twilightsmile:  I can't give away anything though, of course.  I'm very glad you're enjoying the story, though.  Things will speed up from here. :raritywink:  The next (and last) two chapters used to be one giant chapter of about forty pages.  I cut it in two (of course at the worst possible moment) for brevity and ease of reading.  So the last two chapters will be on the LONG side.

    >>255291 - Julia

    Oh... oh yeah... now I remember. :facehoof:  You guys WERE paranoid after that, weren't you?  Of course, if I recall, that was close to the assassin vine sliding burning death trap after the double trapped chest I dropped on you, so that's probably my fault.

    >>255326 - MorningDart

    Who knows? :pinkiegasp:  If I told you he was leaving one way or another, that would ruin the suspense of the story.  :twilightsmile: And there IS a reason that I updated right after replying.  I've only been doing that for the past seven or eight chapters.  I reply to everyone before I post a new chapter, on the days in which a new chapter is supposed to go up. :raritywink:

    >>255357 - Glassed

    Awkward is something Mender's good at! :pinkiehappy:  He sticks to what he knows.  Heee.  And I think I'd switch that to humanOID instead.  Most humans don't have four digits a hand and blue fur. :raritywink:  Still, I'm very glad you're enjoying.

    >>255359 - shira

    I'm glad you're still here and liking, shira.  You bring up a very excellent point. :pinkiehappy:  This is what I love about first person narrative.  You can have an unreliable narrator and not even TELL your audience.  Twilight WAS hiding something it seemed.  Hmm.  And oooh, the strong stuff. :pinkiegasp:  Does Vodka taste good with salt water?

    >>255385 - Alalic

    Cliffs and hanging abound for the rest of the story, I'm sorry. :fluttershysad:  And it might go okay.  Right?  Very cute avi by the way.

    >>255413 - Edanite Phoenix

    Cheater.  I TELL you when I'm going to be posting them in my comments. :rainbowwild:  For example, the next one will be up on Monday.  And then for the last chapter, you get to wait until Friday, Thursday if I'm feeling kind by next week.  See?  Easy.  Glad you're liking, though. :twilightsmile:

    >>255473 - Venatus

    Of course.  Fluttershy has known about his crush ever since Twilight accidentally told her many a chapter ago. :rainbowwild:  I'm curious though, if you don't mind me asking.  Why do you want Fluttershy x Mender pairing so much?

    >>255549 - SirVoid

    Vote noted! :pinkiegasp:  And next Monday is the next posting day.  I'm glad you like!

    (1/5)

    #55 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>255581 - Periphery

    Heee!  It was SO HARD not to get a hold of you via PM and snicker over you being almost dead on.  That's the worst part about writing. :rainbowlaugh:  When someone guesses so close but you don't want to ruin it for them or anyone else, so you have to live with the knowledge until it's posted.  Heh.

    And you're right, of course.  I never specified the nature of the pony, nor gave any identifying marks aside from the voice. :raritywink:  I at least should have given a size reference, though, and I think I might have accidentally wrote it OUT when redoing that scene.  Hum.  Apologies, as that was my bad.  It was an adult mare.  So no Sweetie Bell.  She's fully accounted for.

    And then it collapses into wonky. :twilightoops:  Not sure if either would be into inter-species dating and relations.  And it's hard to say, honestly.  However, a cute-off competition would be AMAZING.  I'm not sure anyone would WIN however, as even the spectators would probably die from massive brain hemorrhaging on cuteness, mixed with diabetes and sugar tumors. :twilightsheepish:

    >>255618 - Bridgebrain

    I dunno.  It would be difficult to pull off a character linkage without screwing up my second story planning. :rainbowderp:  You'd have to be way more specific, which would probably be better left to PM.

    >>255630 - Delta Gamma

    That could be for so many reasons now. :pinkiehappy:  Clever way to sign your name, by the way.

    >>255631 - Layne

    I'm glad you liked!  That was oddly specific though. :twilightsheepish:  Oh well.  When wishing, you might as well wish for the best, right?  So not only can he stay in heaven, he can stay in heaven and get a girlfriend!  EVEN BETTER! :pinkiehappy:  And chapter 14 comes on Monday.

    >>255642 - Muffinking

    Aaah.  Yes, it was anticlimactic.  Although I personally never specified that they were evil.  Their name isn't that important, and was always introduced anticlimactically.  The stones are not fully explained yet because they're not fully understood yet.  That's intentional.  Mender was always a link to his world due to his spell he cast in his old body.  The stones just re-activated the link inside of him which was dormant until now, as Twilight explained.  Also, there were several indirect mentions of him being approximately two meters away from where he lost consciousness, back on the couch in Applejack's living room.  Granny Smith, the busted door, and the entire Apple Family still being there when he awoke, for example.  Perhaps I should just come right out and say it if there's confusion, though.  Lastly, and I know I'm covering these out of order, his plan doesn't involve any of them going to his world.  You'll find that out in the next chapter, however, but it's not that important really.  He's attached to a break-line harness.  Rainbow Dash is going to pull the harness open after the Sonic Rainboom and launch him through the portal.  He's going by himself to recover... himself?  I hope this answers most of your questions. :twilightsmile:

    >>255648 - Manicjudgment

    Love and tolerate. :twilightsmile:  He's been a dedicated reader for a couple of chapters now, before he posted a first.  Besides, it's just a word.

    >>255666 - DoubleRainbow

    Mender, the conversations, the lopsided love triangle, or the story? :fluttershysad:

    >>255680 - MrBettney

    Vote taken.  Twi is winning by a mile again. :rainbowderp:  And what story?

    >>255703 - ErekLich

    It would have to be a well-built pyramid to withstand that level of cute all at once. :rainbowderp:

    >>255711 - tigerphoenix

    Oooh, finally somepony noticed! :pinkiehappy:  And maybe YOU have the good timing instead?  I'm nowhere near that good. :twilightblush:

    >>255724 - Egthoridon

    *chuckles*  This story is so far removed from Fallout that it doesn't really bother me.  It can be your favorite KiE story? :raritywink:  And the 'voting' wasn't formal or anything.  I just started joking about it, then everyone actually started voting so I went with it?  And considering it's RAINBOW of all ponies, one should just assume she's kidding unless otherwise noted. :rainbowderp:  Although why do you hope for a sequel if it doesn't compare to Fallout: Equestria? :raritywink:

    >>255771 - Parolo41

    I'm glad you liked!  And yes, Awkwardness is now a physical, acid-based entity now! :pinkiehappy:

    (2/5)

    #56 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>255778 - ShadowLancer

    Oooh, another vote for Flutters.  Interesting. :twilightsmile:  And I'm glad you're enjoying.  It makes me happy to know that my effort as an author was not in vain.

    >>255886 - Galapagois

    Yes, yes they do.  Although was their name really that important? :raritywink:  Mostly it was done to just finally stop saying 'them' instead.  It felt like it was getting a little cliché.  I'm glad you're enjoying.  We're nearing the end now. :twilightsmile:

    >>255933 - Serothi

    I am quite fond of them, aren't I? :rainbowderp:  And yes, the next two chapters are essentially all one long event, so do enjoy. :twilightsmile:

    >>255959 - Shriked

    Ironically short comment is long. :rainbowderp:  To summarize, I'll just mark down that you hope for a happy ending for Equestria, and Mender to not die but be alone and unloved forever.  *takes notes* :pinkiehappy:  Got it!

    >>255979 - Layne

    I already have your vote, silly. :twilightsmile:  It's not decided either way yet.

    >>255980 - DJ bl4ck0ut

    Whoa! :twilightoops:  Love and tolerate, ponies!

    >>256008 - TonyPony

    I'm glad you're enjoying! :pinkiehappy:  And I really, really like Pinkie.  Writing her is so much fun!

    >>256097 - Alphaetus_Prime

    :rainbowderp: *shocked and amazed* You're good.

    And I'd best go back and look at that.  I think I got confused.

    >>256145 - Master Specter

    Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.  I literally squealed when I read your description of what you thought they looked like.  Oh, this is gonna rock.  Hehehehe.  And oh yes, he's actually a playboy looking to get with both mares. :raritywink:  And ANOTHER vote for them starting a cute-off with each other?  Wow.

    Regardless, I thank you for the compliment, although I really hope you meant words, not pages.  If I turned this into six thousand plus PAGES, it would be insane. :twilightoops:  And giving Pinkie some spotlight is nice, but given your penchant for only putting up 'approved' pictures of potential love interests, that kinda scares me. :derpytongue2:

    >>256268 - DrNazus

    You do that a lot, don't you? :rainbowderp:

    >>256307 - Connorbeast

    Haha!  That would be a fun story to write. :twilightsmile:  I'm not sure if I could pass it off as a MLP fanfic though, as it wouldn't have much to do with MLP at all at that point.

    >>256402 - Enmar

    Whoa!  Um, thank you, but I don't think I'm THAT good. :pinkiegasp:  And very nice speculation.  His plan would have failed disastrously if she gets pulled with him, but I do love a good theory, too. :twilightsmile:  And I shall mark that you vote for MoonLight!  It's not really an official 'poll', but yeah.  I like listening to my readers.

    >>257011 - Tanxiaoevans

    Oooh, I like FlutterMoon too. :twilightsmile:  And so do I!

    (3/5)

    #57 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>257030 - Azradiel

    *snickers!*  Launching an assault on me, now? :raritywink:  Do you ponies want the story to end so badly?  Heh.  I'm glad you're enjoying though and thank you for the Spikes! :pinkiegasp:

    >>257040 - tytyvm

    I... have no idea why ponies like it so much. :rainbowderp:  I mean, I'm just me.  I can't see things from any other perspective.  Although I'm very, very happy that I can make this many ponies happy.

    >>257196 - StormyVenture

    Whoa!  Cold and calculated! :pinkiegasp:  Somepony's done a lot of thinking about this.  So many things could happen if one of him dies that it would be really hard to predict.  Oh, and the name of his planet is never revealed in this story.  His plan however is to go by himself, then have Twilight teleport him back.  It delights me however to realize that a lot of what you're speculating will indeed be revealed. :pinkiehappy:  And another noticed the Princess Celestia thing.  I'm intrigued.  I didn't expect anypony to notice until she was mentioned directly. :twilightsmile:  We'll just have to wait and see how ponies respond.  Just remember that this story is from first person perspective.

    >>257203 - Gildor Surion

    :pinkiegasp:  DERPY approved!  I should definitely write her into the sequel.  Because she rocks. :twilightsmile:

    >>257206 - Lordlandraider

    Nah.  There'd be a lot of crying from me as well.  I really don't like Twilight (the book series). :pinkiesick:  Honestly, I started off the whole 'voting' thing just for laughs.

    >>257288 - FlutteringShy

    You're not commenting as much as you used to, though. :fluttershysad:  Hmm...

    >>257376 - Baboosh

    Love and tolerate now. :twilightsmile:  And you won't have to wait long.  Only until Monday.  I'm glad you're liking!  *takes your vote*

    >>257444 - timma22

    Awesome avi!  And of course I love theories. :pinkiesmile:  It's a step beyond just reading, but actually thinking about a story and trying to guess ahead.  It's quite an honor.  And yes, it's Latin.  It doesn't translate very well directly, but last or final magic is a good estimation. :twilightsmile:  And sleep is a definite good thing, but your theory is even better!  It depends upon the nature of the link if there's a separate time flow.  If it were to be worked out like D&D, for example, he would give the appearance of slowing down to a crawl the second he stepped out of the portal on the other end, from the perspective of the ponies still back on Equestria's side.  Respectively, they'd look like a bunch of spastic ferrets that just snorted sugar laced with adrenalin.  Overall, it's a very interesting concept.  In other types of theories, there wouldn't be a gap per say, and they'd continue like normal.  The temporal difference wouldn't be noticeable until they tried to cross back over, in which the time difference would retroactively affect them, either forwards or backwards depending on which was faster.  However, there is a small pinhole in the theory that I personally don't blame you for at all. :pinkiegasp:  The fact that this story is from first person and the concept that Mender might very well be WRONG in his own theory of the time difference in the first place.  We shall have to see!

    And it's totally fine.  I love long posts I can respond to and that get me thinking about things.  So thank you.  I'm very glad you're enjoying this story. :twilightsmile:  And hmm.  If it were me, I'd pick Minecraft or GMod (have both), as I personally suck at military shooters. :twilightblush:  Now for funsies shooters I love.  Like Saints Row The Third.  And ANOTHER pony who noticed Celestia's absence.  Dang, I didn't expect this many observant ponies. :pinkiesmile:  Julia's probably laughing hysterically by now...

    >>257501 - oblivion2k

    Pretty avi. :twilightsmile:  *nod nod*  She was probably exaggerating, but 12 x 3 would be 36, if you're curious about that. :rainbowderp:

    Edit: AH!  And now your picture loaded too and the post makes a lot more sense now, so never mind!

    (4/5)

    #58 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>257548 - vinilith

    CREEPY Avi! :twilightoops:  And... I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

    >>257662 - Yanari

    Well his plan does involve him leaving it temporarily. :trollestia:  Beyond that, I can't exactly say without spoiling the story now can I? :raritywink:  How goes the story, by the way?

    >>257682 - Azu

    Hahaha!  Admittedly, I'm starting to lean this way myself.  Mender thinks Flutters is pretty and really, really kind to him.  Of course, she IS pretty, and is kind to everyone.  And you can like somepony and still think somepony else is pretty.  So I'd have to agree with you and say that he's probably a better match for Twilight.  Of course, we'll have to see with all the wrenches and turns I'm tossing into the second story. :pinkiehappy:

    And this brings me back to the whole difficulty saying anything even when the readers guess right. :twilightblush:  Her response and motives have been written for the better part of a month and a half, and I certainly didn't change anything, so you simply guessed her motives correctly.  I always have a strong urge to contact ponies ahead of time and let them know they guessed right, congratulating them.  It's a PAIN to resist that.  Heh...  I'm glad you're still enjoying, though!  Next chapter comes out on Monday. :twilightsmile:

    >>257894 - Ponyman130

    Or AWESOME! :rainbowdetermined2:

    >>258034 - Fourpony

    Oooh, you're right!  She's probably awesome to kiss. :pinkiehappy:

    >>258304 - dotHampster

    I shall continue writing forever. :twilightsmile:  I'm considering making an actual serious attempt at it eventually.  You know, with an original story and for actual money?  But I doubt I'll ever give up fanfiction.  And probably never get tired of ponies.  They've made... a huge impact on my life, which I'll always appreciate and remember fondly.

    How was camping? :pinkiesmile:  And I'm glad you're enjoying my story.

    >>258450 - Lordlandraider

    Aww.  Thanks you guys.  :twilightsmile:  You're the best.  All of my readers are awesome.

    (5/5)

    #59 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>258835 Nah, I just so happen to catch you at the right times. Usually when I look for something to do, I come to Fimfic.

    #60 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    I also noticed Celestia's absence, but I didn't think it significant to the story until I read your replies to other people. I thought it was just a choice not to include her in the story at all.

    >>258835 Wait, so I'm not just deriving meaning where none exists? I must do more speculation!

    What if Mender's second body came through, and survived, and was somehow a pony, and then one copy went with Fluttershy and the other with Twilight?

    That doesn't really even make sense but given that you've thrown quantum mechanics into the mix it could work.

    Speaking of quantum mechanics. Perhaps the time dilation is caused by relativity in the fifth dimension, wherein the different universes are just 4-dimensional entities moving around relative to each other. And maybe the portals are like wormholes opened by the negative energy a Sonic Rainboom creates with the rainbow circle to cancel it out, as all the kinetic energy goes into the sonic boom and the continued flight.

    Or maybe I'm just overthinking this :derpytongue2:

    #61 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>258847 Ha, thats actually a good way to avoid shouting at a lag. Just say "black magic at work, nothing to do here"

    ~Morning Dart

    #62 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258822

    Quite a few reasons!

    1.) Fluttershy is adorable when she's around Mender

    2.) Mender used to be adorable before he "found out" that Fluttershy was treating him like an injured animal when he was around Fluttershy

    3.) For some reason, I love just about any FluttershyXOC ship.

    4.) Fluttershy needs more shipping in general!  She deserves a caring stallion moreso than any other pony!

    #63 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>258835 usually you would be correct, but i'm insane and i have pinkie pie powers, the laws do not apply

    #64 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258835  (kiro) Nonononono not like that! What i meant was that seeing either twilight or fluttershy being 'rejected' would be really, really sad... I do hope he survives though, and that they get through it all intact etc... One last thing: am I the only guy that misses those conversations between you, flutteringshy, akela and Julia? I dunno why, I guess Cus it just seemed... Normal... To see you all talking 'bout whatever after each chapter... Bro hoof to Periphery aswell for the annoyingly similar theories to my own :twilightsmile: that may all look/sound really weird or badly worded, but I'm not always that great with phrasing stuff :S anyways, see ya on the comments list of chapter 14!

    #65 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258829 The conversations, mostly.

    #66 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258822

    Ha! What ever happened to that self-conscious author who was afraid no one would like his story? Now he's telling me to enjoy my drink with my tears :trollestia:. I think our author is all grown up now :rainbowlaugh:

    #67 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258847

    MoonGate or Col-Ender (Celestia those are terrible :facehoof:).  

    JZG
    #68 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258959

    Wow, I'm including in the "Missed Conversations"? :raritystarry: That makes me feel special. :raritywink:

    #69 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258829  Thanks.

    You know, I just realized... If Twilight sent a letter to the princess, she could show up just in time to fix everything.  Or, at least to present alternatives. :trollestia:

    ΔΓ

    #70 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258822

    Long chapters? HELL YEAH, my favorite.

    #71 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Fantastic story! I *LOVED* the beginning!!! It was one of the best "first contact" description I had the pleasure to read (and I read a lot of HiE stories :) ). The rest is extremely good too - it reminds me of My Second Life, and it means something (MSL is on my favorites list and only the very best stories end up there). Will this gem also be awarded this - only time will tell :ajsmug:.

    And finally the necessary

    M O A R !!!

    #72 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258829

    I like noticing peoples/ponies reactions to things, gives me a sense of who they truly are, at least in my opinion.

    The whole Celestia thing has been nagging me in the back of my mind for a couple of chapters now, mostly at work so I tend to forget to comment about it (not WHILE I'm working, just while at work being bored and thinking).  Mainly because I know if I were in her hooves I'd want to know about a mysterious pony who just up and appeared in my kingdom, not to mention the circumstances surrounding Mender as a whole.  If she has been contacted, I also find it interesting how she's not shown up to investigate, or anypony from Canterlot really.

    I guess I'll also toss my hat into the voting ring after a while of not being able to decide between FlutterMoon and Moonlight.

    My vote, Menderp :derpytongue2: or if you so choose, MoonDerp, runner up would be for the best pony, RD, but shes mentally taken, and rather smitten it seems. :rainbowkiss:

    As for timing, your the one who controls that post button :raritywink:

    #73 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I am more excited for the next chapter than any so far.  Something tell me things are only going to get crazier and better from here.  Thanks for writing such an awesome story.:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

    #74 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258847

    It was good. Tiring, but good :)

    and hey, if you ever do actually write a book ill be sure to throw some money at my screen for it!:twilightsmile: and is there anything I can do to convince you to write a sequel?:pinkiehappy: cause ill do it. Won't even think about it. Oh, and for the voting thingy , I'd like twilight and mender :scootangel: keep being awesome buddy.

    #75 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    *checks comments*

    DAMN RIGHT there should be a sequel. I checked this site 3 times today to see if this was updated.

    #76 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259231 (Julia) of course y'are! Why wouldn't you be? :derpytongue2:

    #77 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258847 I had noticed Celestia's absence as well, but assumed you had a good reason for it. Seeing as her powers and knowledge far outweigh the mane 6, I assumed that either she had completely slipped their minds, or that she was on important business or something.

    #78 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258829

    Oh god i feel so stupid for missing the location eplanation:facehoof:. But i have to mention destroying a planet full of sentient bipeds is kind of evil in my book:trixieshiftleft:.

    Great chapter, keep it up.:pinkiehappy:

    #79 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258842

    That's because I'm struggling to keep up.

    Periphery outclasses anything intellectual I might have to say, because I don't analyse things like he/she appears to.

    I can always outsilly her, I suppose, but I feel a random-link war would be somewhat out of place at the moment.

    I am awaiting the perfect moment to strike! :rainbowdetermined2:

    Oh, and what happened to Akela? :fluttercry:

    #80 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258857 - DrNazus

    A worthy place to come when bored. :pinkiesmile:  Well the next release is on Monday, so you know ahead of time to pop in then if interested. :raritywink:

    >>258892 - Alphaetus_Prime

    No, she's in the story.  Just not until the ending of this one. :twilightsmile:  She's technically already been in the story too, it's just that Mender's not aware of it.  And yes!  You were the first person to mention Spore at all, which was the original crossover that I used to connect to this story.  Then I changed too much stuff and I decided to just drop it. :twilightsheepish:  Although your first theory has already been suggested by Periphery.  Cloning Mender WOULD be a good solution to the Fluttershy/Twilight debate.  Possibly better than just letting them both have him. :pinkiegasp:  *is having fun playing with emphasis tags*

    Your second theory would indicate that you believe space to be the fourth dimension and time to be the fifth, and thus the causality located by the shifting places of the fourth be intrinsically linked to the fifth which would control the time flow.  A very solid theory.  Although amazingly enough, your description of the Sonic Rainboom would go a long way towards making it more physically justified.  Usually a sonic cone exists after an object creates a sonic boom and exceeds the sound barrier.  Having her explosion not actually being a sonic boom, but an implosion reaction to a whole mass of negative energy would actually be more feasible.  Although scarily, that would put her at risk of opening up a dimensional rift every time she flew fast enough.  She'd be delighted; Twilight would be horrified. :pinkiehappy:

    >>258903 - MorningDart

    That's how every morning getting my computer to turn on starts for me. :rainbowderp:

    >>258908 - Venatus

    Admittedly, Mender has cooled off quite a bit around her since he realized (assumed) she didn't like him like that.  Although I have to disagree with point 1.  Fluttershy is ALWAYS adorable. :pinkiehappy:  How do you feel about Big Mac?

    >>258917 - DJ bl4ck0ut

    Not even Pinkie can escape the Love and Tolerate rule. :pinkiesmile:

    >>258959 - Shriked

    What are the other options, though? :rainbowhuh:  If he can't pick one, he'd have to either turn down both of them or pick both of them.

    And I fully agree.  FlutteringShy is still around as you can see, but Akela hasn't shown up for five days.  I mailed him today to see if he's alright, so we'll see I guess.  I should set up a group for just talking about stuff.  Less formal than all of these commenting and replying stuff.  Or maybe Skype or some other messenger.  Huh.  You're included of course, Shriked.  You're one of the ones that has been here since the start. :twilightsmile:

    >>259032 - DoubleRainbow

    Whew.  I'm glad you like the story, then. :twilightsheepish:  You had me scared for a second.

    >>259132 - shira

    Pha!  Not much gets me to actually laugh out loud, so congratulations good sir or madam. :rainbowwild:  And you've been here since the beginning so I have the utmost respect for you.  You were the one who thinks it's going to end on a sad note, however, not I.  I just went with it.  You know me better than that, though.  I still am shocked beyond words by how many ponies have been enjoying my work.  It makes me really happy, so while still self-conscious, it's a pleasant surprise? :twilightsmile:  Or maybe because you're a longstanding reader, I feel more comfortable joshing you? :derpytongue2:

    >>259202 - Fourpony

    Wow, those remind me either of a political scandal, or a giant robot video game. :rainbowderp:

    >>259231 - Julia

    Of course you're special, Julia. :rainbowwild:  You've made all of their reading experiences much more enjoyable by making sure I suck a lot less than normal!

    >>259233 - Delta Gamma

    Maybe in one of the epilogues, even? :raritywink:

    >>259250 - GarlicParsnip

    Mine too!  Because I hate watching my page count! :pinkiehappy:

    (1/2)

    #81 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259263 - Happy Thoughts

    Oooh, a new reader! :twilightsmile:  And they're a tease!  Holding out their approval like a dangling carrot.  Hmph. :fluttershysad:  Well I'm glad you liked so far, although this isn't a HiE story. :raritywink:  He never was 'human', as that much has been established.  You can call it a KiE story instead if you prefer.  Anyway, I hope the rest meets your approval as well!

    >>259267 - tigerphoenix

    Oh, no doubt!  I mean, she's the ruler of all Equestria alongside her sister.  If a mysterious pony appeared in her domain and was a potential security risk to the welfare of all of her ponies, of course she'd want to check in on it!  I agree fully. :pinkiegasp:  If I were her, I'd have someone watch him almost constantly for a while to make sure that his intentions were pure and that no strange magical things were happening around him.  Maybe even someone who can use magic to peek inside of his head!  That would be the best assurance of danger or loyalties, right?

    Julia's actually suggested MoonDerp before. :rainbowlaugh:  At least they'd have a lot in common, and the meeting would be easy.  *stares tantalizingly at chapter fourteen, fifteen, and two epilogues just sitting on his computer, waiting to be posted* :raritywink:

    >>259299 - Jayfeather

    Thank you just as much for reading it. :pinkiesmile:  Every author likes attention, but I think the biggest sense of achievement for me is knowing that so many ponies have read my story and gotten genuinely entertained.  Honestly, that's what makes it worth it for me to keep writing.  It's not the attention or kudos, but that warm feeling I get when I make ponies... happy.  Or sad.  Or crying. :rainbowderp:  Or forming a lynch mob to murder me...... :fluttercry:  That... kinda went downhill...

    >>259355 - dotHampster

    Tiring is good sometimes. :pinkiesmile:  I'm sitting on an original novel idea right now, but it's in heavy need of a re-write.  And a sequel is already in the works, depending on which Epilogue I stick with.  The one can't... exactly... have a sequel. :rainbowderp:  The only thing slowing down the writing process right now are ideas.  I have the overall theme and conflict for the story already.  It's just the small stuff in the middle that I'm having... issues with.  You know, when you have point A and C, but can't think of a point B?

    And another vote for MoonLight! :twilightsmile:  I'll try, even if I tend not to think of myself as awesome.  But I am your buddy, that much I can do.  *snickers*

    >>259425 - SirVoid

    Thank you for the confidence in my skills. :twilightsmile:  I'm glad you're enjoying the story, but you could just flag it with an email reminder.  Unless of course you like checking three times a day.

    >>259557 - Bridgebrain

    Aside from the Elements, anyway. :twilightsmile:  I don't think even she can match those and their unique effects.  You are right, though.  She was not forgotten about.  Actually, she's mentioned in the next chapter if I recall.  Just a mention, however.

    >>259561 - Muffinking

    True enough.  It's either evil or totally psychotic. :twilightsmile:  I mean, if you lived in fear  of your own mortality for four thousand years and thought everything else was a danger to your wellbeing, you'd probably be a little psychotic too.  But maybe I'm trying to look from other being's perspectives too much.  It doesn't justify mass murder and genocide, regardless.  And you're not stupid. :pinkiesmile:  I'm looking over the chapter right now to see if there's anything I can do to tweak some of your other suggestions.  I love constructive criticism.

    >>259642 - FlutteringShy

    I just like hearing from you.  You don't have to try to beat anypony else here. :twilightsmile:  And I'm not sure where he is.  I sent him a message today asking if he was okay or not.  Hopefully he'll reply soon.

    (2/2)

    #82 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259767

    Well if i'm going to be a beta reader I better start training my abillity to give constructive criticism right:twilightblush:.

    #83 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259762 (Kiro) D'aaaawwwww thanks :raritywink:and is there anything distinctly wrong with them just being close friends? Bearing in mind that this is coming from a forever single English teenager, but you get what I mean :derpytongue2: none of this means I'm against moonlight or moonshy, 'twas just my humble opinion :pinkiehappy: if I had to go with one though, it'd be moonshy, since the D'awwww-ness would probably reach HNNNNG! Levels :pinkiecrazy:

    #84 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258829  Now, when did I say it didn't compare? :trixieshiftright:

    Oh and, what does KiE stand for? :rainbowhuh:

    #85 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259762 i did mention that i was insane right? :pinkiecrazy: (

    'cupcakes' insane)

    #86 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259767 I assumed that, having used the elements herself, she was still considered to heavily outweigh them in that way. In the show, I think she only lets bad things happen so that the next generation (the mane 6, especially twilight) would have learned as much as she knew, or at least as much as she could give them to learn. Trollestia status really, but with good intentions :trollestia:

    #87 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259787 - Muffinking

    You're onto a good start. :twilightsmile:  Noticing things that are off in a story is important, beyond just spelling and grammar.  I sometimes have issues with flow and description as well that I like to nail down before it hits post.  You've been very helpful with this chapter already.  I'll probably peek at it over the weekend and see what I can switch or improve upon by Monday to be swapped alongside the posting of the new chapter.

    >>259813 - Shriked

    *snickers*  There's nothing wrong with being close friends with a girl.  But if she has feelings for you and you have feelings for her, exploring them might be even better than friends.  Of course, without that friendship as a basis, there's not a very stable or healthy foundation in my opinion.  Further issues reside in if you feel those special feelings for TWO females.  As to Fluttershy or Twilight returning those specific feelings, it's hard to say as both are acting tad weird in this last chapter.  HMM.  Oh well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. :twilightsmile:  And I'm not sure if I should induce brain hemorrhaging levels of cuteness into the story.  "HNNNNG!" might be a bit too intense for poor Julia's mind, as she thinks Fluttershy is already almost that way.

    >>259827 - Egthoridon

    "...sadly your story is no longer my favorite fanfic" :derpytongue2:

    And it stands for [His Race Name] in Equestria. :twilightsmile:

    >>259832 - DJ bl4ck0ut

    Then why are you reading a story like this? :rainbowderp:  I do not promote or endorse that character interpretation of Pinkie Pie, I'm sorry.  She is a pure and happy, innocent spirit that can get depressed and hurt if she feels her friends are ignoring her, just like the rest of us. :twilightsmile:  People have done a lot weirder than pretend a stack of rocks can talk when emotionally traumatized, without resorting to, you know, murdering their best friends in sadistic ways. :ajbemused:

    >>259883 - Bridgebrain

    I was always under the interpretation that she couldn't manage to use them anymore.  Otherwise, given her reaction to Discord, one would think that she'd simply deal with threats like him herself, as he was rather dangerous.  In all other events, you are no doubt completely correct.  The best way for them to learn their lesson is by having to fix everything themselves. :twilightsheepish:

    #88 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259954 i like it :3 (okay, i'm not ALL crazy, just in the comments :pinkiecrazy:

    #89 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259954

    Wow, someone is busy today :pinkiesmile:

    Hearing from me about what? I've nothing to say about anything! :twilightblush:

    #90 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259954

    Spelling and grammar errors are likely the last thing i will detect in your story, and i want to stress that the things that i detect are like pieces of dust on the mona lisa. I also started my own fic, its not much more than an epilouge right now and as organized as my brain is. But maybe you could give me some pointers on it if you have the time...maybe:fluttershyouch:.

    #91 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259970 - DJ bl4ck0ut

    Well alright. :rainbowwild:  I'm glad you're liking it regardless.  Don't mind me.  I just dislike Cupcakes.

    >>259974 - FlutteringShy

    You're my friend, Flutters. (Still unsure if you actually LIKE the name Flushy.)  :twilightsmile:  I just like hearing from you.  You can talk about anything, silly.  On here, in PM, or via email, whichever.

    And yeah.  I won't be online much longer.  I'm just catching up on a few fanfics. :pinkiesmile:  I actually READ a few fanfictions myself as well, you know.

    >>260014 - Muffinking

    I'm not that great of an author, MK. :derpytongue2:  (*notes that both Muffin and Muff would be bad nicknames*)  I only have two years of direct English training.  My primary focus is actually in computers.  This is only my second... er... third time posting something online for others to see, so I'm nowhere near a professional.  You could definitely give me quite a bit of assistance, which I would gladly return the favor. :twilightsmile:  And I think you meant prologue, unless you're working backwards with the story.  I could proof it for you and help you brainstorm a bit if you wish.

    #92 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>260052

    :facehoof: oh god, for someone with a master diploma in english from an international organization i'm being very stupid with words. I will pm you the prolouge:twilightsheepish:

    #93 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>258835

    I said pages? Man, I really need to proofread these things. Also, the approved badges aren't only for potential love interests, they just kinda turned out that way. Purely coincidental. One day I just decided to start using these when I saw them on EQD. But maybe I'm secretly psychic, a new breed that can read people's mind through the Internet! On second thought, I'm not sure I'd want to.

    Does this mean I hit the Grosh thing on the nose? Is Equestria going to be invaded by radioactive super Yetis? WILL THEY HAVE SNOWCONES?

    And now a word from our sponsor.

    #94 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>259767

    I know what you're saying heh. I'm in the middle of writing a story of my own, and I find myself coming to that every now and then.:twilightsmile: so you're trying to decide which epilogue to use? I remember you saying that you had two a while back, but I didn't realize you needed to choose which to make 'canon'.

    And I'm curious, do you have proof readers? I don't think I've spotted any punctuation or grammatical errors in your story. Granted I never exactly tries to find any.

    And I read in another comment of yours that you specialize in computers huh?? That's awesoome :pinkiehappy: I'm actually a code pony myself. Would you be willing to talk nerdy sometime? :rainbowlaugh:

    #95 · 64w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>260052

    Flushy :heart:

    I've nothing to babble about, for once. 'tis a rather disconcerting feeling... Imagine if Pinkie Pie suddenly started hosting funerals, instead of parties, and you will understand :fluttershysad:

    #96 · 64w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>258829

    Ha HAH, My plan succeeds! Just keep throwing out random theories until something sticks, thus tricking people into thinking I know what I'm talking about instead of just spouting confused nonsense!

    Speaking of which, my next prediction is that when he recovers his old body, they'll decide that he has to swallow it whole, Pinkie Pie style, in order to stabilize himself permanently in his pony form. That makes sense, right? Ooh ooh! Then his cutie mark will be an Ouroboros! I started writing that idea as deliberate gibberish, but now I actually kinda like it! Plus I just noticed the word Ouroboros even sounds strangely similar to Kiroberos.

    #97 · 64w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>259974

    >>260052

    HOLY CRAP :pinkiegasp:

    GUYS :pinkiesmile:

    I'M BUCKING BACK :pinkiehappy:

    Oh god, I've been seeing the email notifications on my iPhone, but it won't load fimfiction, and I haven't had access to a computer. I've been going insane trying to find a way to get to the story! 'Kir, sorry I worried you, but do you still want me to be a beta reader? Because I would bucking LOVE THAT. Pwease? :fluttershysad:

    Flushy, I've missed you! I'm so sorry I worried you and 'Kir. My parents don't like me using the internet. :fluttercry: But now I'm back and better then ever! REJOICE!

    >>260306

    I noticed that too, Periphery. Glad I'm not going crazy. . . unless you're crazy too. . . a̷̢͜R̷̸̛͜͞È̕ ̵̛҉̨̨Ý̨̨͢͡o͘͡U̴̶̡͘?̨̛͡ :pinkiecrazy:

    #98 · 64w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>260395

    :heart:

    Glad you're back sweetheart. REJOICE!

    I promised myself I wouldn't cry when you came back... Oh god, here are the tears :fluttercry:

    #99 · 64w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>260395

    Cute.

    and not sexual at all...

    :trixieshiftleft:

    :trixieshiftright:

    Not sexual at all...

    #100 · 64w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>260518

    Lol, the REJOICE! video isn't available here in the states :rainbowwild:

    No! Flushy! Don't cry! You'll make me- Oh god, here I go. . .

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