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More Stories5

  • E The Ballad of Firebrand and Olivine

    Spike recalls a bedtime story about a dragon falling in love with a pony.
    3,135 words · 3,371 views  ·  283  ·  2
  • T Of Age

    Rarity is on a mission to learn more about dragons, stop a war, and discover her true feelings.
    83,206 words · 9,023 views  ·  880  ·  17
  • E Ladies Don't Freak Out

    Oneshot. Rarity panics when she thinks Spike has left Ponyville for good.
    1,109 words · 6,695 views  ·  626  ·  11
  • E Rarity's Diary

    Rarity muses on the events of "Secret of My Excess".
    1,303 words · 3,345 views  ·  152  ·  2
  • E Lunch Dates

    Rarity and Spike do lunch and discuss the latest happenings in Equestria. One-shot series following each new episode.
    4,818 words · 1,343 views  ·  181  ·  5

Blog Posts63

  • 28w, 3d
    SEASON FINALE

    WOW.

    THAT WAS FREAKING AMAZING.

    2 comments · 212 views
  • 30w, 3d
    Miss you guys.

    Hi all. Obligatory "Sparity" episode day post.

    I thought today's episode was super cute. Not my favorite episode of the season, but I was so pleased to see them explore Spike and Rarity's relationship more that I didn't mind that the episode itself wasn't the most spectacular we've had. Loved that Spike was forced to concede that Rarity isn't perfect. Such a great moment of growth for him. Also loved how much Rarity valued his friendship, beyond just liking having him as a yes-man. All in all, very sweet, and didn't destroy my Sparity headcanons (or my fanfics), so I count it as a win.

    Going more shipping specific: Rarity thinking of Spike as her most supportive friend is NOT a sinking of their ship, as some people are oddly claiming. On the contrary, I feel it bolsters it. This episode established that these two spend a lot of time together--time that usually doesn't get mentioned on the show, but now we know based on context that it must occur. It also established a growing bond and a level of comfortableness and familiarity between them--separate from their other friends. Spike's never been welcome as a side-kick to anypony other than Twilight and Rarity before, and this episode reaffirmed that. We saw it first in Season 1 with A Dog and Pony Show, and I feel like this episode is the natural follow-up to that initial arc. It's been some time since that episode. Spike's no longer just a puppy trailing along. Rarity's no longer just giving him unfeeling orders. They've clearly gotten closer since then. Culminating in this episode, Season 4 has had small moments of Spike being true support to Rarity, and Rarity honestly seems to appreciate it and value him in return. It's a nuanced relationship that is playing out pretty much the only way it could in a cartoon like this. They're never going to be a romantic pair on the show, so it's just nice to see the writers acknowledge that Spike and Rarity have a special bond and have their own personal stories together. Rarity saved Spike from himself (Secret of My Excess), and he's now done the same for her. They've seen the ugly sides of one another and are closer for it.

    In other news, I miss you guys and I miss this site. I wish I had more time in my life for writing. I barely have time right now for my original fiction, much less fanfiction, and it's stressing me out. I need to write, and haven't been able to do so.

    I really hope you're all doing super duper awesome. Also, I hope enough of you are taking up the Sparity-writing torch in my absence. Brohoofs to whoever is.

    7 comments · 202 views
  • 37w, 3d
    Headcanon Conversation. Episode Spoilers.

    "So Apple Bloom ran away."

    "Yes!"

    "With the delivery of pies you were supposed to take to some far away town."

    "YES!"

    "Was this before or after you bubble-wrapped your entire house?"

    "Rarity, that's not important right now! Can you watch Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo for me or not?"

    "Oh, alright. Tell them to come on over. I'll be here waiting. But do warn them that I have some very important clients coming by later, and I won't tolerate loud noises."

    "Come on OVER? You mean, by themselves? Rarity, do you have any idea what could happen to them between Sweet Apple Acres and your Boutique?! They could be kidnapped, or get lost, or trip on a little bitty rock and scrape their little bitty knees!"

    "Applejack."

    "Or get stung by a wasp, or set upon by a pack of timberwolves, or get into a freak hanglidin' accident, or--"

    "APPLEJACK. Take a breath, dear! My goodness. Do you even remember what you taught me about sisters being like apple pie?"

    "Yeah, yeah, of course ah do, but speaking of pies, mah sister is--"

    "I'm just saying, that perhaps you should take a moment to think through how your actions have appeared to Apple Bloom. I'm the first to acknowledge that our sisters aren't the most responsible of fillies, but don't you think you're being just a bit...overbearing?"

    "APPLE BLOOM IS HEADED TOWARDS A FIRE SWAMP WHERE A THREE-HEADED PONY-EATIN' MONSTER DWELLS IN THE SULFURIC SMOKY SHADOWS."

    "Ah, well then. Perhaps we should hurry after all. I'll be right over."

    "Thank you."

    "But do remember what I said! Don't underestimate your sister! She's got a more sensible head on her shoulders than Sweetie Belle, at the very least."

    Applejack barely even hears her, already running off. Rarity pretentiously poofs up her mane, hmmmphing to herself.

    "Well, well, well. Who's the better big sister now?" she asks no one in particular. Then she gathers her things and heads off towards Sweet Apple Acres.


    ...And with that, the episode would've been a million times more entertaining.

    Real reviews to come later.

    -paleowriter

    4 comments · 224 views
  • 40w, 3d
    More Episode Thoughts

    Hi all! Hope your lives are all going well. Mine is still super swamped and crazy. Fanfiction just isn't in the cards right now, and honestly, I probably miss writing it more than you miss reading it. Fingers crossed I get a chance to work on it again soon.

    Anyhow, going to give a rundown of my thoughts on the past few episodes.

    Pinkie Pride blew me out of the water. I wasn't sure what to expect. Even though I love Weird Al, I was super concerned about having a "celebrity guest star" in an episode...especially in a Pinkie Pie episode. But it totally worked and was amazing. I haven't been able to do this yet this season, but Pinkie Pride earned it: I award this episode a 10/10. Just brilliant. Loved all the songs. Felt the emotion throughout. Every character was handled carefully and lovingly, and for such a goofy, silly episode on the surface, it felt the most "real" to me of any so far this season. I know I'm biased, since Pinkie is my favorite pony, but that actually makes me tougher on her episodes. This one knocked it out of the park. Excellent, all around. Can't wait to rewatch on repeat.

    Simple Ways was an okay episode. Good for some laughs, and had some stellar Spike moments, but overall pretty forgettable. The way they handled Spike is probably my favorite show-version of Spike. He's super supportive of Rarity, and becoming more and more mature about where he stands with her. His 4th wall camera look was priceless. I know some weren't happy at how he was reacting (or rather, not reacting) to learning that Rarity had eyes for somepony else, but it served a magnificent contrast to Rarity's own dilemma in this episode and demonstrated that Spike is in many ways, much wiser than supposed "older pony" Rarity. So bonus points for that. Spike has come to terms with where he stands with Rarity, and I'm happy to see that acknowledged in the show. Also, to see that Rarity turns to Spike for comfort. Just...beautiful.

    Overall, though, Applejack stole the show for me in Simple Ways. This episode may have actually moved Applejack up from 4th to 3rd of the mane six for me. So that's saying something! I'll give this episode an 7.5/10. Would've been a 7/10, but Spike's support and Applejack's hilariously deadpan treatment of Trenderhoof raised it up for me.

    Today's episode can be summed up in one word: adorable. Loved Fluttershy today, which is rare for me. She's usually just "okay", but today she shined. Great writing for her. And yes, this definitely rehashed a big chunk of the plot and lesson from Green Isn't Your Color, but with enough of a twist that I was mostly okay with it. Rarity wasn't jealous at all. Instead, she was perceptive, seeing what Fluttershy wanted before Fluttershy could even admit it herself. Pinkie, in contrast, was not. I don't think Pinkie was hugely OOC in this, though. I'm on the fence with her behavior. Part of me knows it was over the top to the point of being cringe-worthy, but another part of me wonders if that was Pinkie's master plan all along. So I'm okay with Pinkie in Filli Vanilli.

    The return of Flutterguy was hilarious, and actually realistic for the plot. Loved Fluttershy's progression throughout. So overall, this episode made me smile enough to forgive the continuity overlooks (really, the ponies should know by now that Fluttershy has stage fright...seriously, how did they assume she'd be okay with singing in front of a crowd?). I'll give it an 8.5/10. Would've been a 9 if the characters had been more understanding of Fluttershy's fears from the get-go, but since they (mostly) caught on fast enough, I think an 8.5 is a reasonable score.

    Generally speaking, I'm enjoying Season 4. It's got its ups and downs, but seems to be on a reasonable streak at the moment. My biggest complaint is how they're dealing with the Twilight stuff, but I can't fault individual episodes for that, as much as I fault the season as a whole. Also, I know that I'm personally fading in my obsession and interest, as I usually do after a few years in a fandom, so I'm not as "in love" with new episodes as I once would've been. Things just aren't as rosy as they used to be. A lot of the original fun and charm is gone, and that's OKAY. This observation isn't meant as a slight against the show or the fandom. It's just how I personally progress as a fan. My interest eventually wanes, and I accept that.

    But while I might not be as invested in them as I was a couple years back, I am still enjoying the new episodes. And I'm happy the fandom is still ginormously huge and dedicated.

    More power to those of you who are still going strong. *brohoof* Seriously. Props.

    3 comments · 204 views
  • 43w, 3d
    Uh...hello again.

    As you may have deduced, my life erupted in busy times. They're still ongoing, by the way, but I felt like I owed people some sort of explanation for suddenly disappearing. So here I am.

    I desperately want to get back to doing my Lunch Dates series, but I'm going to be frank: I don't know how or when I'll be able to do so. My writing life has changed drastically in the past 8 weeks (all good things), and I can't commit to fanfiction like I could before. So basically...I'll get to it when I get to it, and do promise to try and get to it. That's kind of the best I've got. Really, really sorry. I'll do what I can.

    As far as Season 4 goes, here are my basic thoughts on the past few episodes since Rarity Takes Manehattan:

    Pinkie Apple Pie was a complete hoot. Loved it. Couldn't find any real serious faults with it. Just a heck of a lot of fun, with a great song, and some excellent characterizations. 9/10.

    Rainbow Falls was a confusing episode, but it did get me teary-eyed at the end, so I wouldn't say it was a bad episode. It had a lot of continuity problems, and I felt pretty bad for Dash getting stuck with lame team members when she could easily be the star of the Equestria Games herself. Kind of wanted them to let her go and shine on her own. But the moral they went with was necessary for the season-long shimmery-rainbow maybe-related-to-that-box arc that they're going for, so I guess that's okay. And of course, Derpy. Probably a 7.5/10. Would've been higher if they'd just explained more of those continuity issues better.

    Three's a Crowd was loads of Discord fun. Loved his song, loved his gags. Really enjoyed practically everything about this episode. Except...for two massive flaws. Number one, Pinkie. My poor baby. What are they doing to you? I was literally shuddering watching her bits at the beginning. That was honestly terrible. There's no way around it. That was just shoddy writing for Pinkie Pie, and I'm really ashamed it got through. She was so out of character, it hurt to watch. And the second issue was Spike. Generally, I'm okay when they randomly leave him out if it is for an entire episode. But this time, they expressly showed he was around (at the beginning and end), and yet throughout the whole middle he was mysteriously absent at the library. Just a simple explanation as to WHY would've been all I'd needed. So despite a truly epic song sequence, and some fabulous scenes, this episode only gets a 7/10 because I really can't get over the two flaws. Especially the one with Pinkie Pie. If you're someone who doesn't love her to the extent I do, you probably would rate this episode higher. But she's hands down my favorite pony forever and always.

    And with that said, I look on to next week's episode with great trepidation. I want to be hyped for it, but Season 4 has been really hit or miss with Pinkie, and we just had a GLARING miss.

    16 comments · 257 views
  • ...
 555
 14,387

Spike orders a How-To guide book to win Rarity's heart. Will Spike be able to follow all the steps like a true gentlecolt? Will any of the steps actually work? And just what is Rarity looking for in her friendship with Spike, anyway?

Image by VanilleCream at DeviantArt (used by permission).

Totally awesome fanart by Multiversecafe found here: http://multiversecafe.deviantart.com/art/How-to-Woo-your-Lady-in-9-Easy-Steps-285329019

First Published
12th Jan 2012
Last Modified
12th Mar 2012

Ohh.. A nice little story so far *tracking*

There was just this one little line that irked me, which was the line with the finger sandwiches.. Though it was mostly because I still have this image of Pinkie's pinky pie in my head from that comic I read a day or two ago, hmmm... Oh well, still like it none the less.

#2 · 149w, 6d ago · · · Step Two ·

PROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO but cmon why you gotta make it hard for spikey wikey?! xD Awesome Job keep writing.:pinkiehappy::pinkiegasp::derpytongue2::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::raritywink::twilightsmile::yay::scootangel::ajsmug:

#3 · 149w, 6d ago · · · Step Two ·

>>125573 Thanks! Glad you like it, even if it's giving you flashbacks to certain comics. :pinkiesick:

>>125681 Hahaha, That's a lot of awesome emoticons. I enjoy approval accompanied by amazing pony faces. New chapter will be on its way in a few days!

#4 · 149w, 6d ago · · · Step Two ·

I just feel bad for rarity... I hope every step doesn't backfire, maybe have a couple where everything turns out better than expected, just to shake things up

#5 · 149w, 6d ago · · · Step Two ·

>>125741

Lolz My Little Spammer Spamming Emotes is Magic EEEMOTES! xD

You better make more, its hilarious.

#6 · 149w, 6d ago · · · Step Two ·

Oh, another one from fanfiction.net showing up here. Nice. Fav'd and tracked.

And I actually hadn't seen this chapter before. Ow. This isn't going to end well (more precisely, I believe it IS going to end well, but there'll be a heck of a lot of bumps along the way). I feel somewhat reminded of "Once Bitten, Twice Shy", and since that's one of my favourite MLP fanfics, I consider that rather distinguished company. Pray continue, good writer. :pinkiehappy:

"Big waste of time, if you ask me. Why spend your life mooning over somepony who might never return your feelings, when you could be doing something constructive with yourself?"

Part of me agrees with Twilight, while another part thinks she needs to get laid ASAP.

#8 · 149w, 5d ago · · · Step Two ·

>>125792 Don't worry too much. :raritywink: Good things happen in the story, too. But it's no fun if it all just works out right away.

>>125798 :pinkiehappy:

>>125898 I decided to post my fics here, since I've had a few requests for them to be on fimfiction. I live to serve! And thanks for the compliment! I feel honored to be in such good company.

>>126133 Haha. Oh, Twilight. :twilightsheepish: At least she seems happy enough with her bookworm life.

#9 · 148w, 3d ago · · · Step Three ·

:moustache: So naive... But so romantic.

Nice!

#10 · 148w, 3d ago · · · Step Three ·

Like the fic

Spike trying to be a smooth operator :moustache: and Rarity getting either jealous or confused as all hell :raritydespair:

#11 · 148w, 3d ago · · · Step Three ·

>>148470 Thanks for commenting! As a sidenote, I think the Spike moustache emoticon might be my favorite part of fimfiction. I am pleased that you used it. :moustache:

>>148561 And you as well. Everypony should respond with moustache!Spike in the comments. And thanks for commenting in general, too. I'm having fun messing with Rarity's head in this fic. :raritycry::raritydespair:

#13 · 148w, 3d ago · 1 · · Step Three ·

>>149339 Indeed, good sir. :moustache:

Time for Spike the Pimp to work his stuff on that mare! :moustache:

A very good story so far! Tracked my good sir!

#15 · 148w, 2d ago · 3 · · Step One ·

:rainbowwild: SLURP!

:raritycry: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!

Gets me everytime

#16 · 148w, 2d ago · · · Step Two ·

Ooooooh nooooooooo...

Why Sweetie? Why you gotta make it so hard on Spike? Oh, that childhood innocence... :unsuresweetie:

#17 · 148w, 2d ago · · · Step Three ·

>>150162

Oh, just for you...:moustache:

Please, may we have more? I's always such a sucker for romance...

I gotta read more! Even the infamous Chapter 5!

Please get your creativity on!

-PwnyBrony :duck:

#18 · 148w, 2d ago · · · Step Three ·

>>152767 There shall be more, never fear! (Unless you're Rarity or Spike, then you should be fearing. Because I CONTROL YOUR DESTINIES). (...or...at least I do in this fanfic...) Thanks for all the comments! I do love comments. And moustache!Spike. Bonus points go to you for including him. :moustache:

#19 · 147w, 6d ago · 1 · · Step Four ·

:moustache:

Another awesome chapter that came so soon! I :heart: everything about his fic, I'm going to make an account just to track this. Though I already have it bookmarked, if that's not too creepy hehe. :pinkiecrazy:  

I can guess the next chapter is going to have some awkwardness? I hope so :D.

#20 · 147w, 6d ago · 1 · · Step Four ·

lolz make MOARRRRRRRRRRRRR:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

Rarity finally know how Spike feels bout her, YESSSSSSSSSSSS.

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:  

#21 · 147w, 6d ago · · · Step Four ·

>>159848 Thanks! Bookmarking this fic isn't creepy, it's flattering! And yes, awkwardness ensues through basically the rest of the whole fic, so I'm glad you're excited about the prospect of it. :twilightsmile:

>>160123 FOR EXCESSIVE USE OF MOUSTACHE!SPIKE, YOU GET A PENALTY....of AWESOMESAUCE. :moustache::rainbowdetermined2:

#22 · 147w, 6d ago · · · Step Four ·

So...many...urges...to hug Spike....HNNNNNNNNNG...aww geez damn near crushed my laptop...SWAG!:moustache:

#23 · 147w, 6d ago · · · Step Four ·

Oh my goooooshh...

At last Rarity sees it!

I really hope the CMC help get the relationship rolling in a hilarious way! That would be fantastic!

CUTIE MARK CRUSADER CUPIDS! YAY!

I hope Spike doesn't have TOO much trouble with the infamous CHAPTER 5! I'm sure we're going to get some good laughs out of the next chapter(if it doesn't get TOO awkward:raritywink:)!

Once again, I must offer my thanks for another great chapter.

I know the next chapter will be great as well and I am eagerly waiting for more to come soon!

Once again, THANK YOU!

-PwnyBrony:duck:

P.S. I shall now give you a :moustache: as an offering for more! Use it well!

#24 · 147w, 4d ago · · · Step Four ·

It's awesome :moustache:

I wish Spile all luck in the world.

#25 · 147w, 2d ago · · · Step Four ·

This is a really good story. I can't wait to see more. :3 :yay:

#26 · 147w, 1d ago · · · Step Four ·

>>160921 Spike always could use a hug. Poor desperate guy.

>>161039 I accept your offering of :moustache: and am currently using it to power my creativity levels!

>>164921 Thanks! He'll need some luck pretty soon...

>>170517 Thank you! More is on it's way! It'll be a few days yet, since stuff came up and fanfiction had to be put on hold for a while. But I'm back at it now, and you should see a new chapter later this week if all goes as planned!

#27 · 145w, 5d ago · 2 · · Step Five ·

Hah! Nice. It was actually working, but Twilight messes it up.

#28 · 145w, 5d ago · · · Step Five ·

This is getting better and better. :pinkiehappy:

#29 · 145w, 5d ago · · · Step Five ·

Now I'm going to be all antsy until the next chapter is submitted! :raritydespair:

I love this story it's going in a great direction, keep doing what you do! :pinkiehappy:

#30 · 145w, 5d ago · 1 · · Step Five ·

Oh...

Ohhh...

What's gonna happen next?!?!

I've got Butterflies in my stomach!

:fluttershbad:: W-what do you mean???

Uhh... It's just a figure of speech Fluttershy!

Great chapter! Keep it up! :moustache:

-PwnyBrony:duck:

#31 · 145w, 5d ago · · · Step Five ·

Oh twilight why'd ya have to say that:ajsleepy:

#32 · 145w, 5d ago · 1 · · Step Five ·

Good for Twilight! The book's starting to slide into 'creepy pick-up artist' territory.

#33 · 145w, 5d ago · · · Step Five ·

Nice, MOAR!

#34 · 145w, 4d ago · · · Step Five ·

I'm really liking this story, but I'm not sure about how you want us to feel about Step 5.  Are we supposed to approve, disapprove, or make up our own minds?  I guess I'd like your opinion on this sort of trick.  If you don't approve of it, why'd you make it start to work?  If you do approve, do you acknowledge how slimy it is to toy with the emotions of the object of your affection as long as the outcome is favorable to you? :twistnerd::unsuresweetie:

Though considering Twilight messed it all up, I suppose it's all a moot point anyway.  :trollestia:

#35 · 145w, 4d ago · · · Step Five ·

>>203631 Indeed. :twilightblush:

>>203647 Thanks! Glad you think so!

>>203875 I will! And hopefully the next update will be online in less than a week!

>>203993 Aww, don't taunt Fluttershy after what she had to go through in this chapter! :fluttercry: Kidding, of course. Thanks for commenting!

>>204069 Because she's trying to run damage control, lol.

>>204381 Yeah...it's been interesting trying to write for the book. Getting in the head of "Smooth Fox" and coming up with things I'd think a pony like him would recommend is fun, but occasionally creepy. ::twilightoops: At least Twilight's trying to keep things reasonable.

>>205662 Yes sir! :rainbowdetermined2:

:moustache::moustache::moustache:

#36 · 145w, 4d ago · · · Step Five ·

>>206448 Hah. I don't approve. I'm on Twilight's side of things. Just because I write something sleazy-ish sort of working, doesn't mean I agree with it personally. :raritywink: This is just what's going on in the story. And I need to keep messing with Rarity's head, because that's fun stuff. :raritydespair: ...Sorry, Rarity. At least she semi-knows about it now, and gets to be appropriately p*ssed off.

So never fear. The story is far from over. And I get the feeling from your post that you'll like the next chapter. It's consequences time!

#37 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Five ·

TWilight and Spikes keep on screwing things up. THEM FOOLS! :raritycry:

#38 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Five ·

Tracking. The plot is so simple yet you manage to make it so interesting with character interactions and thoughts. Keep up the good work.

Also it's Spike x Rarity. Ho yes.

#39 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Five ·

Congrats on getting on EQD! Can't wait until the next chapter :pinkiehappy:

#40 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Five ·

Super confused rarity? I gotta see this! Very well written so far. Good job! :pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss:

ATTA BOY SPIKE! ATTA BOY! :rainbowlaugh:

#42 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Five ·

Grats on getting on the trixie supreme late night show!

#43 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step One ·

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

that is all.

#44 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Five ·

More....I must have....more :pinkiecrazy:

#45 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Five ·

Great story so far, definitely following this. I find it hilarious... and true, the steps do work. With my gf, I was nice to her, helped her out always, and always dropped hints that I liked her. Then one day I inadvertently did step 5, I got extremely sick and missed 2 and a half weeks of school. When I came back, she admitted she liked me. But I agree with Twilight, Spike should totally skip step five. As we can see, it's just ending in disaster. Can't wait to see more of this.

#46 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Five ·

>>215857 Same... AH NEED MAH FIX, MAN~

#47 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Five ·

Do you have a version for royalty? Alicorns, for example? Just wondering...

*Shoves picture of Luna under the bed*

#48 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Three ·

I'm really liking this! Rarity getting jealous? This could have the potential to be an actual episode, if Hasbro saw it. Also, just for you.:moustache::moustache:.:moustache::moustache:.:moustache::moustache:.:moustache::moustache:.:moustache::moustache:.:moustache::moustache:.:moustache::moustache:.:moustache::moustache:.:moustache::moustache:.:moustache::moustache:. one more, and this comment gets blocked. Oh well.

#49 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Five ·

Need MOAR!!!!:heart:

Can't wait for the next chapter.:rainbowkiss:

RarityXSpike ftw

#50 · 145w, 2d ago · · · Step Five ·

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

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