- Member Since 6th Nov, 2012
- offline last seen Feb 20th, 2014
JohnnyNorthrain
Private Investigator from Chicago transported to Equestria by means unknown. Just trying to survive as the only Human around.
JohnnyNorthrain
Joined 6th Nov, 2012 ·
Offline
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Kinky.
Hot.
1731107
1731156
I'm a big fan of sex without intercourse. Expect more in the next chapters when I get around to them.
Alrighty then, let's see where this goes
I like it a lot... but the tenses bother me... for example
"and when she would come down towards his balls she’d moan a bit"
sounds awkward, I don't think you're supposed to use "would." Would is the conditional tense (i think), not past.
It still works, it just bothers me.
Still very good.
1733187
I'll work on that. This isn't my first rodeo but it is my first clop fic.
For a very first clop fic its pretty well written
P.s. Maybe you can read my story called my day in ponyville
E-E-Excuse me while I now try and go eat dinner with an erection
atta boy Braeburn x3 just give your sister's friends her package..... you naughty post pony you......