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Celestia wants a quiet evening in.
Shining Armour wants a word with her.
These two things are, unfortunately, incompatible.
Because Shining Armour's words are all about his little sister, and her place in the monarchy.
Thanks go to S. Aitken, Celicam, Zerbin, Cloud Wander and Tisis Antony (aka, Mike) for their help. I'm forever in their debts.
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I like it. Whether you consider it worthy of more or not is up to you. I'd personally like to see more, but I can see this working as a one shot as well.
I think it is perfect how it is right now, continuing it might just turn it darker and will just create question that a oneshot does not need to answer.
Still would be interesting if continued, just would need more work.
Well, this is well written. Well done!
Good, well written story.
Wouldn't mind a sequel 
Very interesting. One small issue is the the excessive use of parentheses.
Loved this paragraph.
This is a excellent oneshot. It draws the reader in and leaves them wanting more.
Not bad, really, but to get a fave from me, you'll haveto show me what you have in store, but nonetheless, you get a thumbs up, so keep up the good work
EDIT: WHAT!!? That was a one-shot? Oh, come on! It's really sad to leave your readers hanging like that, but at least it was good, maybe you will make a sequel, at least I hope so...
Wonderful.
I'm going to join source1 in applauding the paragraph in which Celestia talks about things to come. The idea that Discord of all creatures is just the tip of an iceberg is, well, chilling. I put a lot of thought into my own short story (Roots, found here if anyone's interested) about the threats of the past, but now I have to wonder if there isn't more unexplored territory out there in the future...
On the other hand, sometimes Celestia just doesn't sound like herself in this story. I can't imagine her telling Shining Armor to shut up, for instance, or ever forgetting the name of someone she considered as important as Twilight Sparkle is now. I think you might need to rewatch some episodes and get a better sense of her overall voice and mannerisms.
Twilight would accept. Twilight is too well trained, too dependent on Celestia's approval. Celestia could ask her to jump off a cliff and she would.
1965922
I'll agree with you, Celestia sounds a bit off. I suppose me headcanon was working overtime.
1965879
I wasn't thinking of writing another sequel. I'm not sure what else you could say, really.
1966023
Keep telling yourself that.
1965515
I won't lie, that paragraph was pretty fun to write.
I'm afraid I cannot follow the trend of praise for this story.
On the plus side, it's intriguing and well crafted.
But on the other hand, there are some things that irk me about it.
For one, Shining Armor is pretty far out of character. I can understand that he is concerned about Twilight, but he's being incredibly rude and disrespectful to Celestia. Regardless of how lax the Royal guard is, there's a limit to how far any military organization can allow insubordination, and this is so far beyond that line it's not even funny. There's also the matter of why he thinks being an alicorn is such a terrible fate. After all, he married one!
Then there's Celestia. Well... actually, I have little to really criticize here - I think you did a good job of characterizing her. Even if, as you say, she's a little off, it's not harming the story.
But what was the point of that story and flashback? All it showed is that Celestia's first student turned her down. And what was this "rot" that is mentioned? At the end the nameless student politely refused and left. Nothing evil or dastardly befell anyone involved.
1966132
It's more or less established canon that Twilight and Shining Armour are very close, so I thought that'd extend to him being protective of her. It's not that he thinks that alicorniacation is a bad thing, he just doesn't want it happening to Twilight.
And the flashback was rather to show that you can turn down alicorniacation, that it's not written in stone. Although the very fact I'm saying all this means I ballsed up in some way. Ah well, life is a learning experience!
1966194
Just wanted to clarity: you showed that Celestia's offer can be turned down quite thoroughly, the problem (in my eyes anyway) is that you spent nearly half the story on what was essentially a flashback to show that one detail.
1966224
Ah, fair point. Well, now I know. I appreciate your honesty!
Good job, I enjoyed it
I gotta admit, I hate stories where Celestia get's replaced, especially with Twilight. One reason is I prefer for all of my favorite characters (i.e. everypony) to stick around together (forever) and Twilight-as-next-princess fics typically mean Celestia going bye bye
In the end it's just a matter of taste.
But I liked this one (especially since there was no replacing!). It dealt with the issue from a bit of a different perspective--that is, how Shining Armor felt about it.
Nice job
Twilight loves Celestia way to much to say no.
It may even take her a few days to talk herself into it but Twilight saying yes is a foregone conclusion.
To be brutally honest? Twilight will Love every minute of it.
I would LOVE to see a follow on Fiction of Twilight either accepting or rejecting Celestia's request and then a Slice of Life for a while.
Personally I vouch for Twilight Accepting but I wouldn't mind either way. I am interested to find out what happens when Celestia Asks.
Holy hot damn, there needs to be a multi-chapter sequel to this. Where hopefully it starts with her being asked, taking time to consider it, hesitatingly accepting, and dealing with all the shit that happens.
This is a great piece of writeing in my opinion. I just had to fave this by the time I reached the paragraph where she discribes the evils wakeing up.
If that isn't a hint at a sequal then you are a damn tease dood. If you do continue this in a sequral I for one would thougherly enjoy seeing where you would take it.
But if nothing comes of this, it is an excelent one-shot and a joy to read.
I can't tell if celestia is evil or just plane lonely or both. You sir are amazing and I really hope they consider putting this in the accual series.
1971491 I think she's just lonely, and tired. She doesn't really seem to be doing anything evil near as I can tell. But we'll see how much of her story is truth.
Heh, looks like she said yes.
Ooh. We enjoy this concept greatly! We will be following thou for more scrolls. Well done hoof servant, We art impressed.
I hope Twilight continues to realize that Celestia never meant any harm. but was just lonely. far far more lonely than the doctor ever has gotten a chance to be. she's more than twice his age.
2586419
The thing I keep banging on about is that he doesn't know what age he is. He's lying. How could he know, unless he's marking it on a wall? He could be 8,000 years old, he could be a million. He has no clue. The calendar will give him no clues. - Steven Moffat
Also the doctor is the last of his species.
Neat! I like where this is going.
2587173 True.
2587609 I still get your point though
Is this...going to be continued further? It's marked as complete but, that was also the case before you posted this marvelous chapter. I'm getting mixed messages.
2608034
I don't know. I wasn't going to write another chapter until suddenly I was stuck on an island with no computer and no internet and nothing to do but write. So maybe if that happens again, but I don't know what I'd do with it.
Aaaaaaand this is the reason why I wish there was a way to remove an upthumb from a story. Celestia was written terribly in this new chapter, which I didn't think was needed anyway. The first chapter was clever, subtle and well done. This...feels like it was written in half the time, and with half of the energy. That said, I loved the first chapter and wouldn't dream of downthumbing it by virtue of an awful chapter on its own.
It says a lot about the wisdom of that unnamed unicorn's choice that only one pony alive recalls her and does not know her name.
To paraphrase Ghostbusters with a far more important life lesson: when someone asks you if you want to be a god, you say yes.
The thing that makes this story so much better than the usual "Twilight doesn't want immortality for whatever reason" sour-grapes stories is its open-endedness. Twilight's rejection lacks finality; her hastily constructed reasons sound like those of someone not given enough time to think (an especially painful situation for someone used to giving careful thought to decisions), reacting and scrambling for justification for a gut feeling because that's all they've been given the time to have. And the ending, in which she has the tiara with her, allows her to reconsider in the fullness of time. Perhaps that is the mistake Celestia made the first time, with the unnamed unicorn, and very nearly repeated here: she put them on the spot, and did not allow for the answer to be "let me think about it". And as much as I'd like to say "what's to think about?", it is at least understandable to mull over such an important decision, and to not want to be forced to make it on the spot; to be given time to overcome gut feelings and really think; it's also not a decision Twilight is likely to have given significant thought to before this point, and the sheer permanence of it would certainly contribute to a desire to put the utmost diligence into the decision.
I'd certainly love to see a continuation of this story, featuring further insight into Twilight's thoughts and feelings about this. But if not, and this remains the end of the story, it's still satisfying in its open-endedness; that's not normally a property I find appealing in a story, but here it works.
3780148
I agree with your sentiments wholeheartedly.
Aside from doing the stupid decision, she was also selfish; being in a position of power means you can do much, much more for those under you.
Immortality not being a huge positive is propoganda by the coffin industry.