• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Monday

KitsuneRisu


Somedays, I sit, looking at the stars. I muse and wonder. I meditate and reflect. And I find the miracle in a new day of life. Especially since I swallowed so much glass the day before.

E

It is the day after Applejack and Rainbow Dash made their relationship official, and Rainbow is giddy with excitement to see her new-borne mate. However, Applejack doesn't seem to share the same sentiment, and in the hours that follow, strange behaviour and hushed secrets make Rainbow Dash desperate for the truth. But soon, she finds out just how life can change... in just one day.

Receiver of a Honourable Mention for the AppleDash competition! Hooray! =D

Extreme thanks to TheShadow, TwilightFox and HerpyDerpy for the help and support!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 84 )

I already told you but I will do it again; great story man. Really good, I want to see more from you.
Also good luck with the contest...and now write more AppleDash! :flutterrage:

Good stuff. Fantastic emotion. If you aren't careful, I may just have to put you on my watch list.

I keep clicking the upvote button but it's not changing anymore.

Hell, AppleDash isn't even my favorite pairing for either of them, but... this was good. For a good while I was scared this wouldn't have a happy ending. But it did. Good job, sir.

1763754

Put him on your watch list already.

That was simply beautiful, KitsuneRisu. The emotions between Applejack and RD felt softly and awkwardly genuine as opposed to what could have easily been an exaggerated mess; I believed I was reading about a couple that had finally relented and accepted each other as more than friends, and it was cute and friendly and deep and wonderful that they were now nervously in love.

Your dialog as ever was superb, and the entire story read in the voices of the characters with all the natural flow and ease one expects from an episode - in fact if not for the underlying romantic tones, this WAS for all intensive purposes an episode. Especially Pinkie - you do the best Pinkie as PointlessGizmo does the best G&P Trixie.

The little fluttery feelings shared between the two come the conclusion, and the GREAT ENDING? All perfect, all perfect.

Good luck with the Appledash contest - for someone who used to berate me for bringing it up all the time, this coupled with your fantastic Magnet makes me wonder if you were just teasing me all along.

Excellent work. Exceptional work.

I'm glad you're writing so much.

:pinkiesad2:

Beautiful story... I mean... I'm not an AppleDash fan, and you hit *me* in the feels! ... :pinkiegasp:

Seriously, very believable story. Each of the characters personalities fit to a tee. Plus, it made me laugh when it needed to, but it also brought on manly tears once or twice there... Like Sparkill said, if not for the shipping, it could almost be an episode.

But that's ok... we like shipping, right? :rainbowkiss::heart::ajsmug:

I think you know the answer... :eeyup:

Tears of sadness, tears of joy. All the feels! :heart:

1763212
No. I will not. I refuse.

1763754
ORLY. I'll have to try harder then. :yay: And I will break your heart with my Celetwistia fic. =D Or.. brain. Maybe brain.

1763940
Thank you! And haha, actually, AppleDash isn't my favourite either... I'm RariJack, much to the chagrin to every AppleDash fan here. Well, that and as I said, Celetwistia, which is BEST SHIP.

1764673
But... but... I hate Pinkie ._.
And NO. APPLEDASH SUCKS. SUCKKKKS. *rage* I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I WROTE THIS.
Possibly because there's this contest thing.... :scootangel:

How the heck did this fic get 6 thumbs down in 12 hours?! This has gotten more thumbs down than my HORROR FICS in this amount of time. Who the heck is bombing this and WHAT THE FREAK FOR? I thought Romance was ACCEPTED. What's going ON!?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

1766457
Hey, thanks man! And of course, thank YOU for the help with the editing.
I like... I like... pizza....:eeyup:

1767090
Rollercoaster OF CELESTIA. :trollestia:

1767469
I prefer Rarijack as well. Honestly, I prefer TwiDash to TwiLestia, but a good TwiLestia ship is always nice.

1767493
RARIJACK FOREVER. I'm working on a RariJack one now actually!
And TwiDash? I dunno, I could never see Twilight or Pinkie Pie in any relationship outside of one that is horribly misconfigured and very awkward for all parties involved...

By the way, CeleTwistia isn't TwiLestia, in case you were thinking of that...

one's :trollestia::twilightblush:

and the one that is actually my favourite is....

:trollestia:...............:twistnerd:

1767469 >How the heck did this fic get 6 thumbs down in 12 hours?! This has gotten more thumbs down than my HORROR FICS in this amount of time. Who the heck is bombing this and WHAT THE FREAK FOR? I thought Romance was ACCEPTED. What's going ON!?

I don't know. As I understand, AppleDash attracts a bit of negative attention, so maybe there's people who auto thumbs-down any story that drops in the AppleDash folder in the shipping group? I really can't imagine that there would be this many people that took the time to read this and still could live with themselves after clicking the thumbs down.

And I eagerly await the brain-heart destroyage promised by your CeleTwistia fic.

1767469

Oh Kitsu you silly pony, who would take Rarijack if one can have awesome Appledash? :rainbowlaugh:

And now stop the act and get to work on the next Appledash, you're one of us now.

I shall not cry. I refuse. :fluttercry:

1767469

"How the heck did this fic get 6 thumbs down in 12 hours?! This has gotten more thumbs down than my HORROR FICS in this amount of time. Who the heck is bombing this and WHAT THE FREAK FOR? I thought Romance was ACCEPTED. What's going ON!?"

It's called jealousy. That's what you deal with. There are folks that simply go to a story's title and thumb it down solely because they DON'T LIKE YOUR AVATAR, HATE YOUR STORY DESCRIPTION, or simply DESPISE THE PREMISE without giving it a single ounce of further attention.

Then they hit their favorite clopfic folder, wank one out, and go to bed satisfied.

Idiots. WISH I WAS THIRTEEN AGAIN.

1767469 Psh, silly, everypony knows RariLight, FlutterPie, and AppleDash are best ships! :pinkiehappy:

But seriously, holy hell, you don't even like AppleDash?! But...but...you pulled it off so well and...and... *explodes*

1767936
Well that's not possible because I only added this story to that group AFTER the thumbs down, right after I woke up...
And I thought AppleDash was one of the more popular pairings? Honestly, I don't know, because I actually don't really... know anything about shipping. Truthfully.

Also, not to blow my own horn but I'm fairly sure the people who voted it down didn't really read it. And if they did and voted it down anyway, I WISH they'd explain WHY! I mean, I'd honestly like to know. Even if it were something like "I was in a bad mood because I spilled soda on my jubblies and I wanted to take it out on your ugly face". At least it's a reason.... :facehoof:

1767994
I REFUSE. I AM NOT ONE OF YOU. >=|
I am not one of those people who think that Applejack and Rainbow should be a pair because their characters are in tune and their rivalries hide deeper emotions and how their relative mentalities lead to a perfect combination of Applejack's nurturing/motherly kindness and Rainbow's playful flagrance/strong will, together which makes a complimentary duology in couples psyche profiling....

Nonsense. Nonsense and stuff. :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

1768096
Do it. DO IT. YOU MUST TO DO IT. Do it for them. Do it for their heartwarming connection. Do it for the adversity that they overcame and do it for the sacrifice that Dash made for what SHE knew, in return, was the right choice. Do it for all her love. ALL HER LOVE.

Most of all... do it for the girl.

1768200
But... but... that's what I do...
Three or four times a day.... =(

Maybe I should change my avatar... No one likes Duri anyway haha.

1768320

PEOPLE! LET US JOIN TOGETHER AND SHOW THIS LOST LAMB THE WAY!

Let us all gather around and tell him about the wonder and power of AppleDash and how it shall set him free!

My brothers and sisters, who is with me?!

1768262
I don't even like Shipping.
Seriously.
Really, if you want to blame anyone for this you can blame Chocolate Milk, Twifight Sparkill and Tchernobog.

And now comes HAPPY STORY TIME! Everyone LOVES Happy story time. RIGHT?

I have not read any shipping fic to date for enjoyment or by my own volition. I do not like romantic film, books, or stories. I hate the Vampire Diaries. This is a stark admission. About 5 months ago I decided I wanted to try a 'ship' fic that didn't HAVE any shipping in it. That was back when Chocolate Milk was still around, and we came up with the idea to do something that was but wasn't. It was a relationship fic about the journey rather than the results. It was about self-exploration and discovery and junk like that, things I really love and enjoy writing about.

The product that came out of it was Magnet. After writing a bit, Twifight decided to tell me to add more stuff to the Applejack chapter, so I thought about it a little and decided to add a bit of depth to make the story deeper and to complicate things. Originally, it didn't have that thing that if you read it, you'd know what I'm talking about. It was just going to be just like every other chapter. It seemed to work. I read a few things at that point, including Tchernobog's very own Blue Wings to get some idea of how to write ship stories and what this weird thing called emotions are all about.

Despite this, it wasn't being received well, and even EQD told me to bugger off with it because I suck at writing and my style is shit and why does my god narration intermingle with thoughts and blah blah and so I got a bit dejected and left it behind for months to work on real life stuff. But I was busy anyway, starting up my own company, so I had to leave writing behind for a while.

So after that hiatus, I then came back in full swing with my latest horror fic, 6 walk in. With that having been done, I decided to finish off my uncompleted 2nd draft chapters for Magnet and post them. Suddenly I get a message from a couple of really top notch community members, INCLUDING Tchernobog who was like 'hay, your writing is acceptable and does not make me want to set your head on fire. Come look at this contest thing.' And I was like 'yah, ok'. So I joined cuz I'm a complete tool and I just want everyone's love and acceptance.

OK, not really. I joined because I guess I thought it might be fun. So I wrote this. I'm glad you think it's well-written. To tell the truth I have no idea what I was doing or what this thing is. I'm not sure anything is what and who how the where. I'm just glad that by some incredible Celestia-driven power it didn't turn out to be a wreck of immense proportions.

Because, romance? I know nothing. NOTHING.

Or... do I? :yay:

1768380 Psh, like I need an excuse to blame Tchernobog for something AppleDash related. :derpytongue2:

You fooled me about not knowing anything about romance. Maybe I'd understand if I read your other story you mentioned, but I didn't, so I don't. All I know is it's 5:30 in the morning and I should be asleep. Confound these ponies, they drive me insomnia!

1768421
I didn't fool anyone! I tell the truth!

1768360
Oh, go away.
I raise the banner of RariJack HIGH. HIGH I SAY! UPON ITS FRILLY FRAME DOTH THE WHITE AND THE ORANGE MINGLE, CREATING SOME KIND OF ORANGE-WHITE THING!
And I carry this banner proudly into battle. Into battle against the evi...
wait.
Oh yeah, AppleDash fans are reading this. Um... AppleDash forever! yay! =D SUpport me and junk! Tchernobog and Bookplayer, I love you! :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

ARGH, I can't contain these feels:raritydespair:

Spoiler:
Really glad it didn't turn out to be a terminal illness of some sort.
You should SERIOUSLY consider writing an epilogue for this. Maybe their return, a wedding or a foal (adopted or magical)

You did a really fine job, considering you're a RariJack (hate it :pinkiehappy:) shipper

Alright. I was on the verge of downvoting purely because I don't like the subject matter. But it's well written and the characters are true to the show.

The intro and outro though (the "Elation" and the "For it was the unexpected" bits), just left me with this look on my face. Way too... wishy washy / sappy / lame.
cdn.stripersonline.com/e/ef/212x176px-LL-ef378953_eww.gif

1768792
Nah, Terminal illness is overdone innit =) Besides, I don't want AJ to die, and that might not have been realistic for a one-day scenario.
And I will take your recommendation under advisement! I didn't think about that when I wrote this, for sure, but I wonder how an epilogue would go... You know, I think there's enough for a full sequel rather than an epilogue. AppleDash's Adventures in Appleloosa or something maybe? Because an epilogue is meant to tie up everything and I think this fic ended on a pretty satisfactory emotional note.

And oh you guys, leave me alone! ;_; RariJack is... is... the BEST..... ;___;

Ironically:
AppleDash fics I've read to date for the purposes of research into this fic: 8
RariJack fics I've read to date for ANY REASON: 0

I'm not doing the ship honour, am I? =)

1768858
Thank you for the restraint... heh heh.
Anyway, yeah, I don't usually write romance. But thanks for the feedback anyway! I guess the first bit is pretty soppy. It's a running thing of mine to start my fics with some kind of poetic doohickey. From my horror to adventure to nearly everything. This is my first attempt at a really real love love kind of romance fic so... I'll probably need to tone back the schlock.

Thanks for the words!

1769148
Sequel? SEQUEL?!! Do it

1769262
You did fine without me giving you ideas:pinkiehappy:

1769282
But the magic lamp only granted me three wishes, and I wasted 2 asking for a Zecora doll and the Favourites collection. =(

1769295
You fool, you should've wished for more wishes:flutterrage:

1769308
I FORGOT ;_; I WAS LIKE
I must wish for PONIES.
On a good note, my collection is filling up nicely!
SO GIMMIE IDEAS.

1769324
No can do, I don't want to screw with your artistic integrity:twilightblush:

1769341
Inte... what?
What is this word... integrity? :applejackunsure:

1769353
I have no idea:pinkiehappy:

1769364
I forgot what we were talking about... :derpyderp1:
Ah well! Time to go work on some other fics! =3

1769384
Yeah, fics like this sequel for example:ajsmug:

1769148 A sequel?! You must.... you must, YOU MUST! :raritystarry:
Heh, anyways, this.... AMAZING :ajsmug::heart::rainbowkiss: Had my full attention from beginning to end. I wonder how both of their lives will change from now on, not just their relationship. :duck:

1773108 1769406
Thank you so much! I will... consider it =)
Honestly, in the writing and planning of the story, I wanted it to be encapsulated within the story. Everything tied up, everything happy.
A sequel will definitely have to be of a much different tone. It'd be lighter, more 'slice-of-life' but probably I can think of a heartwarming plot or something that's relatable to the reader.

And I think I have the perfect idea, too......

For, in light of the most recent episode, Rainbow Dash has forgotten about one very important thing that she neglected to wrap up before leaving, and soon she might realise that there's something she needs to bring along with her to Appleloosa....

1773199 Gasp, bringing Scootaloo along? :pinkiegasp: Isn't that almost like jumping the gun? Seems like most people are gambling on Scootaloo's life story.

1773582
I live in the moment. And trust me, no one wants to see her life story more than me. I wanted that even more than her sister thing with Dash, honestly. I just wanted her to have a story and a character. Being buddy with Dash is a good chip in her life, but doesn't really explore or open her up as much as something else would.

But yes, why not? I think the idea of a strange family dynamic would be a nice departure point for a sequel. If canon comes and bites me in the ass, I'm sure it'll fit with a couple of changes. Wouldn't be TOO hard to pre-empt it with a few carefully noted thingamabobbles. A line about leaving her family... a mention of her other friends in Ponyville...

If anything, the fic can also be about her adjusting to new life as well; something hard for a child of her age, especially under the wing of a mentor. Dash would not be a true mother or father, hence the strange dynamic, and would be more akin to a master watching over an apprentice.

That's what I'm envisioning now, anyway. Feedback is always appreciated. :twistnerd:

1773654 *plays mysterious music* Ohh, this is gonna be good :trixieshiftright:

Just when you think you know how it's gonna end...
NOPE author throws multiple pink physics defying curveballs:pinkiehappy:

Excellent, excellent work here. I love the fact that Applejack calls RD sugar rush :3

ARGH, I can't contain these feels:raritydespair:

Spoiler:
Really glad it didn't turn out to be a terminal illness of some sort.
You should SERIOUSLY consider writing an epilogue for this. Maybe their return, a wedding or a foal (adopted or magical)

You did a really fine job, considering you're a RariJack (hate it :pinkiehappy:) shipper

Appledash rules

Have some subliminal messages :pinkiehappy:

1775380
'Aplledash rules?' :twilightsmile:
APLLEdash?

1775046
Why thank you! And yeah, Sugar Rush, X3 I felt AJ needed her own special pet name for Dashie...

1775583
Damn my spelling :p

1775583
I always thought so too :3 and sugar rush fits perfectly :):pinkiehappy:

1776030
You should see all the rejected names by my editor... haha

1776073>>1776030

My Editor Sense is tingling...someone is talking about me...
Yeah, but you know how horrible the others were. I was just sparing you the humiliation.Everbody would've have laughed at the other ones. And the 'Sugar Rush' was the first really decent name you came up with, I actually liked that one too.

1776745
Awwwww, how sweet. =) Like I care about your opinion =)
..... Pumpkin.

1776745>>1776758
I'd love to see this list XD

1777198
Before I even got TheShadow involved, I think the placeholder nickname in my first draft was "Sugarpie".
And it went through like a whole bunch of really bad ones before I left it as "sweet corn" I THINK, which TheShadow shouted at me a lot for.
Then I changed it to Pumpkin and then schmoopy-bear.

Which I really thought was good!

But then you know. TheShadow made me actually THINK of a nice one. :facehoof:

Login or register to comment