• Published 2nd Dec 2012
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Xenophilia: Further tales. - TheQuietMan

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74: All the colors of the rainbow - by Stitchwolf

All the colors of the rainbow - by Stitchwolf
Chapter published 15th July 2014
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A calm breeze wafted past Lero’s face as he strode toward the Carousel Boutique, a garment bag slung over his left shoulder. He briefly glanced up toward the afternoon sky, satisfied that the few clouds the weather team had stationed above Ponyville didn’t pose a risk of meeting an errant Everfree cloud and beginning an unexpected downpour later that evening.

Thoughts of Rainbow, Twilight and Lyra had been forefront in his mind for the last few weeks, tensions rising at first imperceptibly and then growing day by day as this year’s Grand Galloping Gala approached. The previous few years had been easy enough, the herd had simply decided not to attend the event. Lero had heard tales of the disastrous first time Twilight, Rainbow and their friends had attended, and having himself never seen the appeal of grandiose balls, he’d simply suggested they skip it in favor of a nice evening meal out. But this year, after Twilight’s elevation to the rank of Duchess, Celestia had none-too-subtly suggested they should all attend this year’s Gala.

Thus began the stress that had been slowly building the past few weeks. Twilight had launched herself into research on proper royal decorum and protocol, and had then insisted on impressing such information onto Lyra and Rainbow, lest they, as Twilight had put in, accidentally use the wrong hoof to carry a glass of wine and in so doing somehow cause the fall of Equestria itself.

After their last session it had taken several hours of soothing words and mane combing before Twilight’s eye would stop twitching and hairs in her mane would stop springing out of place.

While Lyra -- having grown up in Canterlot -- wasn’t unfamiliar with it all, he and Rainbow seemed to be at wits end trying to keep up with the etiquette lessons, which Rainbow had universally declared to be ridiculous, outdated and completely not awesome.

Pushing his way past the front door to the boutique and listening to the chimes signal his arrival, Lero reflected that perhaps he’d gotten lucky in that regard. As a male, if not a stallion, his duties at the Gala would consist of standing by his herd, maintaining polite conversation with any mares or stallions who approached, and essentially trying his best to look what they considered to be ‘as respectable and handsome as a proper stallion should’; a nebulous concept amongst ponies which he barely understood even now.

Lero was greeted by the muffled sounds of a rather irate unicorn and pegasus duo emanating from the other side of the closed door to Rarity’s inspiration room. Rainbow had been stressed all week, the additional etiquette lessons for the herd compounding her already sizable workload. He had known from that morning when she set off to have a new dress made that Rarity and Dash would end up coming to at the very least verbal, and he hoped not physical, blows.

Recalling his duty as stallion of a herd to help calm things down, Lero strode cautiously to the closed door and hesitantly taking in a deep breath, raised his clenched hand for a solid knock.

“Rainbow, is everything okay in there? Rarity, I’m here for my appointment.”

The muffled arguments suddenly ceased, and an aura of light blue magic enveloped the door before it swung open. His pegasus herdmate stood on a dais on one side of the room, glaring at the unicorn on the other as though her gaze might will Rarity to spontaneously combust. Rarity herself looked little better, her jaw clenched and her tail twitching before she shook her head slightly and turned to the door, a smile beginning to replace the grimace which had seemed moments before etched on her face.

“Lero! Oh, I’m so sorry to keep you waiting. I didn’t hear you come in and Rainbow and I were just… discussing options for her new dress. Yes, just a simple discussion, and I was so caught up in the moment that I simply didn’t hear the door chime. My apologies.”

Lero glanced between Rarity and Rainbow, and remembering that sometimes discretion is the better part of valor, simply shrugged it off. “Of course. So should I come back later? I thought Rainbow would be done here an hour ago.”

“So did I!” The polychromatic pegasus muttered, trotting over to her human and nuzzling under his hand. Rainbow then glared over at Rarity. “So? Are we done? Can I finally go?”

Rarity sighed, shaking her head a little. “Of course, darling, of course. But I’ll need to see you again in a couple of days once I’ve put together a suitable replacement design. As it is I’ll need to figure out a way to break it to poor Twilight. She was so looking forward to seeing you in the initial design.”

“Not cool, Rarity. Not cool.” Rainbow stated and glanced up nervously at Lero. “Fine, whatever. Good luck with her, Big Guy. You’ll need it. I’ll see you at home later tonight.”

With a quick few flaps of her wings and a gust of wind Rainbow was out the door and into the sky. Rarity for her part simply sighed and stared up at the human before her. “Honestly Lero, sometimes I just don’t know how you put up with that mare. I love her dearly, but every now and then she just makes me want to scream.”

“Don’t be too hard on her, Rarity. She’s been having a tough few weeks,” Lero said, making a mental note to devote a good deal of time tonight to comforting the pegasus. “Twilight’s just as stressed, if not more so. Only Lyra seems to be mostly unaffected.”

Something about the waters of a calm stream wearing away even the roughest of boulders, Lero recalled her saying.

“Well, she is in a herd with a Duchess now. Responsibilities such as the Gala are bound to become more and more common.” Rarity shuddered slightly at her mention of the Gala before igniting her horn and swiftly levitating the garment bag from Lero’s shoulder, quickly peeling it away to reveal the suit she’d designed for him shortly after he’d first arrived in Equestria. “At least she has you, Twilight and Lyra to help her through it. Still, you might want to remind her that I’m only trying to help, and yelling at me isn’t necessarily conducive to my muse.”

“I take it that’s why she was still here just now? What was she so upset about?”

Rarity glanced to a pile of fabric on the floor before shrugging it off and focusing on the suit suspended by her magic. “It’s… nothing, darling, just a minor design disagreement. At least she finally agreed that it was time for me to design her a new dress. If it was up to Rainbow she’d probably wear something outdated like her old Gala dress, or the one she wore at Cadence’s wedding, both of which are horribly out of fashion now.”

“But those were just a couple of years ago…” Lero stated, idly wondering how fast Equestrian fashion changed. He’d never paid much attention to it, or even Earth fashion from back home for that matter. What was the old line? Fashion is a form of ugliness so absolutely unbearable that we have to alter it every six months? Probably best not to mention that to Rarity.

Rarity, grinning, raised both forelegs off the ground in a quick clap of her hooves. “Exactly! A couple of years ago Pegasopolis traditional was in fashion! Now it’s all new Prench Rose! And just look at this suit, Lero! Now don’t get me wrong, it looks fabulous on you, but the cuffs are much too wide and the lapels are far, far too skinny for today’s fashion. These days the style is to emphasize not just the breadth of your chest but it’s depth as well! And sweet Celestia, what was I thinking with this button stance?”

Lero blinked and stared at the suit as it floated in the middle of the room, completely at a loss for words. “Okay…. But you can fix all of that, right? Or make another in time for the Gala? Somehow I doubt Twilight would forgive me if I told her I had to go in my work casuals.”

“Oh, of course, my dear. You’re a stallion, so you’re easy, design-wise. Emphasize your chest and natural coloration, perhaps take in a little fabric in the pants to draw some… but not too much… attention to your flanks, and voila,” exclaimed the unicorn happily. “Now given your herd and your importance as a Duchess’ stallion, I’ll at least have to work in some of Twilight’s coloration into your suit, perhaps around the cuffs in the tie, but that should be more than doable.”

“What about Dash and Lyra’s?” Lero queried, concerned about maintaining equity. He’d learned very quickly that developing jealousy in a herd was something he wanted to make sure to avoid.

Rarity tilted her head and stared at the suit, considering her options. “Well, given that it is the Gala and Twilight’s first as Duchess, her coloration will need to take precedence. Perhaps I can work together a purple tie with aquamarine patterning of some form. But with Rainbow… well, if you plan to display her feather in your hair then perhaps trying to work it into the suit isn’t needed?”

“That sounds fine. I’m sure whatever you come up with will work. You haven’t let us down yet, after all.”

Rarity beamed at the praise, her telekinesis quickly placing the suit back in its bag and gathering up a tape measure and quill to replace it. “Of course, of course. Now, why don’t you head into the changing room over there and remove as much clothing as you feel comfortable with. I’ll just take a few new measurements and get right to work.”

Lero nodded and headed to the changing room, careful to avoid knocking his head on the low arched entrance. He was glad that Rarity had remembered he didn’t like removing his undergarments in front of anyone outside of his herd. When he’d refused the first time she’d misunderstood his nervousness for belligerence and had nearly torn them from him in exasperation. That had resulted in an awkward conversation he was glad he wasn’t required to bring up again.

While quickly removing his jeans and shirt, Lero thought back to the muffled yelling he’d heard earlier. He normally wasn’t one to meddle, and he knew that even with as notorious a gossip as Rarity could be, she rarely did so about her clientele, but he also knew he’d need to help calm Rainbow down later that evening, and it would be far easier if he knew what they were arguing about and could plan his response to it ahead. Gathering up his loose clothing, he called out to the alabaster unicorn in the other room. “Mind telling me what it was you and Rainbow were arguing about? I don’t mean to pry, but I’m the one that has to live with her after all. I take it she didn’t like a design idea?”

An exasperated huff could be heard as Lero exited the changing room, Rarity already motioning for him to take his place upon the platform for measurement. “She didn’t so much have an issue with the idea so much as the… hmm, how I can put this… the direction. You know that both Rainbow and Twilight have never much been one for fashion. And while I understand why and where it comes from, I’ve been trying to broaden their horizons as it were, especially now that Twilight has been elevated. Twilight seems to understand, but Rainbow simply won’t budge.”

“Well, maybe I can help convince her if it’s that important to you. What is she taking issue with?” While knowing Rainbow wasn’t one for dressing up in general, something she had slowly begun to change when going on their herd date nights, Lero wondered what Rarity could have come up with that had gotten Rainbow that riled up.

“Well, I know this might sound a little far out there, design-wise, but…” The designer mumbled, seemingly a little unsure of herself. Suddenly she steeled herself and raised her head high. “Simply put, rather than Rainbow’s rather traditional ‘my dress has to be predominantly rainbow striped like my mane’ style, I suggested we do something rather different. Something Bold. Something Daring...”

Lero cracked a bit of a grin and nodded. Perhaps whatever Rarity’s plan was, if introduced appropriately by someone she trusted it might be something Rainbow would like.

“I want to make her a dress that’s predominantly a single color, namely a dark blue, with hints of black!”

Lero blinked, his mind suddenly blank. “Wait, that’s what the argument I interrupted was about? That’s why Rainbow was here for three hours?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Now, don’t misunderstand me, I can certainly make her a dress of another color if it really comes to that, but the importance of this opportunity cannot be overstated. She’ll be present right next to Twilight and Lyra at the Grand Galloping Gala! All of the nobility will see her in this dress when Twilight is presented by Celestia. Even Princess Luna will be in attendance, if the rumors I’ve heard are true. I simply must convince her to wear my dress idea. You understand, don’t you?”

Rarity had begun pacing as she continued her diatribe, her hooves pounding the floor as she exclaimed each point with a pound.

Lero tried to think back through the conversation, trying to discern why this had made Rainbow Dash so irate, or why Rarity seemed so wound up about the prospect. Perhaps it was just his male human heritage echoing down through generations, but the only thought which crossed his mind was ‘It’s a blue dress. Who cares? Why are they arguing over it?’

Cautiously, and mindful of the fact that he was facing a unicorn who could control the hundreds of clothes pins in the immediate area with deadly precision, Lero took in a breathe. “Well, I suppose I could talk to her about how important this is to you. Maybe she might come around then?”

“Oh, would you? Please? Please. Please! Please! Lero! Please, do it for me!” the fashionista exclaimed, dropping down onto her haunches to beg theatrically. “It would mean so much!”

Baffled, Lero simply nodded in agreement. He didn’t really understand why this was so important to her, but on the other hand, Rarity had worked wonders before for all of them.
“I can’t make any promises, but your designs haven’t let us down before, so I’ll give it my best shot.”

Rarity quickly lifted herself off the ground and smiled broadly. “Excellent! I know you won’t fail me, you brave stallion, you. Now, let’s get these measurements taken care of and off you go!”

----------------------

“Rainbow! Twilight! Lyra! I’m home,” Lero announced as he stepped through the entrance and into the Golden Oaks Library.

A magical pop sounded through the main room as Twilight Sparkle suddenly teleported in before launching herself at her husband and wrapping her forelimbs around him. “Lero! I take it you’re back from Rarity’s? I hope things went better than they did with Rainbow. She was in a pretty bad mood when she got home and Lyra dragged her out to go sparring to calm her down. Spike went with to watch, as he put it, ‘a kick-flank’ martial arts battle.”

“Oh boy. Any idea when they’ll be back? Rarity wanted me to talk to Rainbow about her dress for some reason.”

Twilight considered his words for a moment before sighing dejectedly. “Honestly, no idea. It could be a few minutes, but given how irate Rainbow was, I would expect her and Lyra to go at it for a while until she calms down.”

Lero frowned a little before leaning over and giving her a quick kiss, gently running his fingers through her mane. “Well at least you seem to be a little less stressed than yesterday. Anything happen I should know about?”

“Well, I sent a letter to Celestia telling her about the three books I’d read on etiquette, four on intertribal diplomacy and three on emergency hostage negotiation tactics and asking if there was anything else she could suggest I brush up on for the Gala,” Twilight exclaimed with a touch of mirth. “And she replied and told me to, and I quote ‘calm down, relax, and remember that the Grand Galloping Gala just a tedious, boring party’.”

Lero chuckled as he sat down on one of the reading cushions scattered about the library, pulling Twilight down to rest her head in his lap. “Well I hope you’re a little less worried about it now. So does that mean no etiquette lessons tonight?”

“Nope, still gotta do those! You still forget to stare into a stallion’s eyes when bowing but not to when bowing to a mare after all!”

“I still don’t understand why that matters, Twi,” the human said as he shook his head. “It seems like a rather superfluous distinction.”

Twilight chuckled, her chest rumbling in Lero’s lap. She blushed a little and stared up at him. “Well, traditionally if you stare into a stallion’s eyes when you bow, you’re showing a fellow stallion respect and that you’re paying attention to him. If you do it to a mare, then as a stallion you’re either challenging her position over you or…. Umm… suggesting she should try to assert more authority over you… usually sexually.”

Lero coughed and his eyes widened, staring down at her. “Oh, hmmm, maybe we better go over that one a few more times then, no? Just… just to be sure.”

“Now you see why these lessons are so important? Sure, they’re old fashioned, but they do have certain connotations the nobility still follow.”

Lero nodded rather more enthusiastically before running his hands down Twilight’s sides. “Since you’ve done so much research on this, maybe you can help me understand something else. Why is Rarity so intent on Rainbow wearing a dark blue dress? And why did Rainbow get so angry about it? It’s just a dress, after all.”

Lero suddenly found his lap vacant as Twilight lept up. “Just a dress? Lero, it’s not just a dress! Rarity is putting her life’s work up for all of the nobility to see in a venue where it can’t be ignored. It’s going to be my first time attending the Grand Galloping Gala as not only a Duchess, but as a member of a herd. We’re all going to be wearing Rarity’s outfits. The rest of the nobility will be taking note. You know I’m really not into fashion but even I’m sure they will be. It’s important that Rainbow wear that dress.”

More than a little taken aback by the vehemence of her declaration, Lero cocked his head to the side. “Okay, so you’ll all be wearing Rarity’s dresses, and I’ll be wearing her suit. I’m sure this’ll be great for her business and all, but if Rainbow doesn’t want to wear dark blue, why can’t Rarity just make the dress another color? Why was she begging me to try to change Rainbow’s mind?”

“Lero, color is important. It’s culture! It’s tradition! It’s… it’s validation!” Twilight nearly cried out.

“Validation? For Rarity? Why does she need it? She’s already one of the most sought-after designers in all Equestria. She did Cadence’s wedding dress! How much more validation does she needed? Is it really worth making Rainbow upset for?” While Lero had promised Rarity he would talk to Rainbow about changing her mind, and he still would, he was becoming less and less convinced of its merit.

“For Rarity? This isn’t for Rarity! This is for me! Validation for me! And for Rainbow! And for thousands of other ponies! If anything Rarity is risking her career making this dress!” Twilight almost snarled, before suddenly seeming to realize who she was yelling at. She let out a whimper and hung her head. “I’m sorry, Lero, I didn’t mean to get angry with you. I just got worked up. Forgive me?”

“Wait, what? How is this about your validation? Or Rainbow’s? Or other ponies’? I mean, of course I forgive you, but can you please explain to your dumb old human why you and Rarity are so smitten with this dress, and why Rainbow hates it so much? Because frankly I’m just confused at this point.”

“It’s not the dress I care about, Lero! It’s the symbolism behind it!” Twilight explained as she slowly moved to sit back down next to Lero, folding her hooves beneath her and nosing his hand gently. “I was hoping to avoid having to talk to you about this. Rainbow practically begged me not to. But this is important, and you deserve to understand. Tell me, Lero, do you think I’m pretty?”

“Of course I do!” the human exclaimed without hesitation. “You’re beautiful. You, Rainbow, and Lyra, you’re all beautiful. Why would you even ask that? You know I’ve told you that many times before.”

The purple unicorn smiled up at him and gently pressed her muzzle into his palm. “Now tell me, Lero, honestly, which one of us is prettier?”

Lero was taken aback by the question but quickly shook his head. “You’re all equally beautiful, Twi. You know I couldn’t pick between the three of you.”

“And I know you really mean that, which is one of the reasons I love you so much. It’s one of the reasons we all do. But it’s also not true. At least it might be to you, but if you ask other ponies, be they male or female, they can answer that in a second. Between the three of us, Lyra’s prettiest. Empirically she’s not even all that attractive, but of the three of us she’s top.” Twilight explained, almost as though reciting facts from a textbook.

“That’s crap, Twilight, and you know it.”

The unicorn bit her lower lip, her soft chuckles trailing off in a sigh. “You’re the love of my life, Lero, but you can be so obtuse sometimes it’s infuriating.” She bumped her nose against his hand again. “You’re thinking like a human about this and not a pony. To understand this I need you to start thinking like a pony.”

Twilight closed her eyes and stretched. When she spoke again, he could clearly tell by her tone she was slipping into lecture mode. “And it’s not crap, Lero, it’s fact. Now think; haven’t fewer stallions told you to find better mares since she joined? I know Chuckwagon did. I bet he’s not the only one. Tell me honestly. I promise won’t be offended.”

Lero thought back for a while, recalling his confrontation with Chuckwagon and his herd, of some of the guards’ statements during the blank plague… he knew that some idiotic ponies didn’t find Rainbow or Twilight all that attractive, but to him it had never mattered what they thought. He loved them, plain and simple. He found them attractive. Even so, he had to admit he had heard a few comments of ‘hey, congrats Lero, it’s about time you got a good looking mare in your herd’ from more than a few stallions when Lyra had joined them. “Just a few comments from idiots, Twi, nothing that matters. I know you’re pretty. You all are.”

“Then tell me this; ignoring Lyra, Rainbow and I, who amongst our friends is prettiest?” Twilight queried, her posture and voice clearly indicating this was important and he had better be paying attention. “Pinkie? Rarity? Applejack? Fluttershy? Who do you think, empirically, that is, is most attractive. And think like a pony on this.”

Lero began to recall his first kiss with Rainbow Dash, and how she’d convinced herself she was an ugly freak, a notion he had worked hard for her to shed. She’d told him she thought she was ugly because of the smaller size of flank and rump. So which of their friends had the biggest rump? Well, Applejack was clearly one of the largest in that respect, but most of that was muscle and Rainbow had also mentioned she considered herself an over-muscled freak. So maybe it was Pinkie? Working at a bakery had certainly left her with quite a bit of pudge in several areas. Maybe Rarity? Given her frequent trips to the spa she clearly put a lot of effort into her appearance. “Honestly Twi, I don’t know. I’ve never really looked at any of our friends like that. At a guess… maybe Rarity? Maybe?”

“Rarity’s a good choice, but she’d probably be number two or three. No, the most attractive of our friends is Fluttershy, without a doubt. She was even considered so beautiful she pretty much had a modeling career temporarily forced on her.” Twilight chuckled in remembrance. “Now, knowing the answer is Fluttershy, can you tell me why?”

Lero considered the bizarreness of this request, but understood that this was clearly something important to Twilight. He couldn’t even imagine a human woman being his girlfriend and then suddenly pointing to someone else and saying ‘She’s hotter than me. Tell me why?’ in a way that didn’t end up in some form of a trap requiring a lot of chocolates and flowers to make up for.

Still, he also couldn’t imagine Twilight leading him into that kind of relationship minefield and so he pressed on. “The length of her mane, maybe? And tail? Those seem to be longer than most other ponies.”

“Good, that’s one factor. Now, what else? What about her coloration?”

“Well, she’s yellow, obviously, with a pink mane and tail. Why? They wanted her to be a model because she’s yellow and pink? Is that a rare color combination or something?”

Twilight shook her head and smiled. “A little rare, but not significantly. No, she’s the prettiest of our friends because she has the complete package. She’s got wide hips and flanks without too much muscle, a long mane and tail in one of the preferred colors, a body coloration in another preferred color, and her wings are generally immaculate because she preens a lot and rarely actually uses her wings strenuously. For a pegasus mare it really doesn’t get much better, unless she’d been born white with a yellow mane rather than yellow with a pink mane.”

Lero considered what he’d just been told for a moment. The wide hips he understood, at least. With women wider hips were usually a sign of physical maturity and birthing potential, like larger breasts. But the rest made little sense to him and he said as much. “White is considered more attractive than yellow? And pink is attractive too? And a pegasus who barely used her wings is more appealing that one who does? Who came up with these rules? And what does this have to do with Rainbow and Rarity’s dress?”

A chuckle resounded through the room as Twilight considered how best to explain all of this to her stallion. “Lero, maybe I better start by answering your last question first. No single pony came up with these rules, they’re sort of a cultural evolution. Though it can be argued if you want one pony who’s responsible more than most, it would be Princess Celestia.”

“Wait, so Princess Celestia decided that Fluttershy was the hottest, and that you and Rainbow aren’t? That doesn’t sound like something she would do.”

“Well, it’s not something she did consciously, and it took centuries to happen. I think by the time she realized what had happened it was too late to turn it around easily. I suppose I ought to explain this from the beginning. You remember the tale of Nightmare Moon, right? Of Luna’s fall and Celestia sealing her up in the moon? That event can probably most easily be seen as the catalyst for it all. You see, before Nightmare Moon, ponies of every color were generally considered equally attractive. Some with brighter coats, or manes and tails, were more likely to attract a stallion, but also more likely to attract predators, so there was a bit of a balance, evolutionarily. Stallions found bright mares more eye-catching, but it was the darker colorations who were less likely to be seen by predators and bring them down on the herd. Even the diarchy was equal in that respect. You had the light, bright coloration of Celestia, balanced by the darker, more somber coloration of Luna.

“Nightmare Moon, though, was the beginning of that change. Her cultural influence would be compounded in time by others, all lending an association of evil and corruption to those of darker colors. You have King sombra, a jet black unicorn stallion who enslaved the Crystal Empire. Then you have Tirek, or the changelings. Even magic done with evil intent was simply referred to as ‘Dark’ magic. But Nightmare Moon was the one that really started it all. Ponies began to shift their perspectives, but not directly because of her, but rather because of Celestia.”

Twilight took a long breath and sighed, staring up at her lover before continuing. “Princess Celestia once told me her greatest regret was the banishment of her sister. She acted in haste, and she considers her actions a failure. She’d lost her sister for a thousand years. But even in her grief she had to soldier on and govern for the good of Equestria. She tried to govern fairly with equality to all, but soon some of the nobility noticed a trend forming. They found she seemed to be favoring her time and her decisions to ponies with lighter colorations, such as white, yellow, orange and pink, and seemed to be more reluctant to even see those with darker colorations; blues, purples, and blacks in particular. The nobility and upper classes took this to imply that perhaps those with darker colors were somehow worse ponies, or perhaps more likely to be aligned with evils like Sombra and Nightmare Moon.”

“So Princess Celestia became some sort of color racist after Nightmare Moon? Or color tribalist? White supremacist? I don’t even know what the proper term for that is here...”

Twilight shook her head a little and chuckled. “Some believe that. I once asked her if it was true and she admitted to me she might have subconsciously favored lighter colored ponies, but not for reasons the nobility thought. It wasn’t a matter of her thinking ponies with darker coloration were evil or corrupted or anything like that. Blues, purples and blacks are the colors most associated with the night and Princess Luna, and thus by extension became the colors most associated with Nightmare Moon. It was simply that those were the colors which reminded her of her sister, and thus her greatest failure. Those ponies were, to her, subconscious reminders that her sister was no longer at her side and it was all her fault. It wasn’t about hate or prejudice at all, it was about grief.

“No one knew that at the time, of course. From the perspective of the nobility, all they cared about was the fact that if Princess Celestia preferred lighter colors, then they had better get with the program. Fashion, a luxury at the time meant to set the nobility and upper class apart from the rest began to favor colors and designs which emphasized whites, yellows, oranges, anything that could make you look more like Princess Celestia and less like Princess Luna. In order to increase a noble family’s chances of having a lighter colored son or daughter, mares and stallions with lighter colored coats became favored as marriage prospects. And as with everything, these views eventually trickled down to the general populous. A thousand years of that and you have the world today.”

Lero considered everything his herdmate had just told him. On one hand it seemed ridiculous, that a yellow pony was considered more attractive than a blue one, but on the other hand it made a certain amount of sense from a historical point of view. Was humanity all that different after all? Women still wore high-heeled pointed shoes after all, even though they were terrible for your feet, because hundreds of years ago Catherine De Medici was insecure about her height.

“But surely Celestia must have realized what was going on a long time ago…”

“She did, but only after many years and only after she was able to begin moving past the betrayal and loss of her sister. Given that she had to raise her sister’s moon, with Nightmare’s face emblazoned on it every night, that took a long time. Remember, it’s not like the nobility announced they were trying to curry her favor like this. Not to mention that she was rather busy dealing with other higher priority issues, like putting a stop to the culling of the thestrals some ponies had begun to engage in due to their close ties to Princess Luna. There were rebellions, gryphon and minotaur invasions, and a lot else going on because when the diarchy was reduced to a monarchy many of Equestria’s enemies tried to take advantage of the weakened crown. What the nobility had decided to wear wasn’t exactly something Celestia considered a priority.”

Twilight rose from her seated position and began to pace, her tail swinging back and forth in a rhythm Lero had begun to recognize as symbolic of her irritation. “There are, of course, other aspects to what ponies consider attractive. While wider hips on a mare are more attractive for ease of birthing, and a broad chest and firm, muscled rump for stallions imply they’re strong enough to work the fields and help protect their foals, there are also tribe specific factors. Large wings are considered attractive on a pegasus, be they male or female. But strong, muscular wings are considered attractive for males only. It symbolizes they could carry their foals with them if they ever needed to escape danger. For a long time muscular female pegasi was also considered attractive back in the old pegasi warrior days, but now a lithe, lower-muscle form is considered more attractive, since it means their herd is stable enough that they don’t need to fly hard or escape danger and thus are more suitable for a stallion to safely raise his foals with.”

“That’s why Fluttershy’s consider so attractive. The complete package, right? She has one of Celestia’s favored coloration, wide hips and flies so little she barely has much muscle at all, at least compared to Rainbow for instance, right?” Lero asked, finally beginning to sense where this was going.

“Exactly, but even more than that, her long mane and tail harken back to Celestia’s own ethereal mane and tail. For all intents and purposes she might as well be the pegasus version of Celestia. And frankly, to most stallions -- especially pegasi stallions -- that’s as good as it gets.”

Lero considered for a moment, glancing at Twilight as she continued to move about the room. “So I take it there are similar standards for unicorns and earth ponies?”

“Yes to both. For both unicorn and earth ponies, a broad chest and rump is attractive for stallions, but there are differences for mares. Earth pony mares are expected to be stronger and more muscled, but not excessively so, so they can pick up any slack should the farm need it. Even if they aren’t farmers themselves, it’s expected earth pony mares will be stronger than their unicorn counterparts. Unicorn mares, on the other hoof, are expected to be taller, even lither and less muscled than their pegasi counterparts, since their magic is supposed to replace earth pony strength for most of their day-to-day activities. A thin unicorn mare is a magically powerful unicorn mare, or so the old saying goes. And by the same token, unicorns, both stallion or mare, consider a longer, more pointed horn to be more appealing, since it implies a more magically powerful unicorn, even if statistically that doesn’t seem to be the case.”

‘You know what they say about guys with big feet, or in this case mares with long horns…’ Lero’s mind sudden filled in. Then of course, remembering the near foot-long spike on Celestia’s head when he’d first met her and its intimidation factor certainly enabled him to figure out where that cultural notion had come from.

“That’s also why Prince Blueblood is considered the most eligible bachelor in Equestria five years running,” Twilight continued, making sure Lero was still paying attention. “White coat, broad chest, long, flowing yellow mane and tail, a horn second only to the princesses… there are mares who would give anything for a stallion like that.”

Twilight suddenly caught herself and blushed. “Not… not that I noticed, mind you. I mean, maybe, just maybe, I might once have had a crush on him when I was just a filly and still studying under Princess Celestia in Canterlot…”

Lero smirked, trying hard to hold in a laugh as he pictured an awkward adolescent Twilight Sparkle curled up in a library, reading book after book about how to seduce Prince Blueblood. “Of course, Twilight, of course. You’d never stoop to noticing such a thing.”

“I’m glad we understand each other,” Twilight chuckled in response. Then, seemingly remembering what spawned this conversation, became serious again and continued. “That’s also why Rarity would be number two or three on the list. She’s got a gorgeous white coat, large hips, little muscle, and a rather full, plump rump. All assets. Her hair -- purple -- is a detriment. That’s why she takes so much care to style it, in order to take the focus off the color and onto the design, trying to mimic Celestia’s flowing mane. I think that’s why Spike had such a crush on her for so long. Celestia raised Spike until I was old enough to take care of him, and I think for the longest time he had a bit of an Oedipal complex. Rarity simply reminded him of the mare who raised him so much that it was only natural. Thankfully he grew out of that stage.”

Lero suddenly wondered if Rarity’s treatment of Spike over the years implied she knew about that or not.

“So that’s a primer on pony attractiveness.” Twilight suddenly stopped pacing, facing away from Lero and refusing to even look in his direction. She took a deep breath and then asked, “Now given everything I’ve just told you, how attractive are Rainbow and I?”

Lero ran his hand over his chin and considered her question. He still thought all of his mares were beautiful, and sexy in their own right, but that wasn’t what his purple unicorn wanted to hear right now. She was referring to culturally, and according to pony culture and society, the results weren’t good. Rainbow Dash was the opposite of what pegasus society told her to be. She didn’t have terribly wide hips and that was only emphasized by her lean, low-fat athletic body. Her wings, rather than being dainty and with little-used perfect-conditioned feathers were strong and often ragged due to the high performance stunts she liked. She preened, of course, and pegasi feathers were notably resilient, but it was clear to anyone looking who used their feathers more when comparing Rainbow to Fluttershy. Rainbow was also blue, and even if it was a light blue maybe that was enough to lump her into the less desired color group? And her mane and tail, while not particularly short, also wasn’t overly long by any stretch of the imagination, and did clash, as she’d pointed out to him.

And then there was Twilight, whom Lero now realized would be considered even worse off. Purple, with a dark blue-purple mane and tail, she definitely fell into the more Nightmare Moon-like side of the color palette. While enormously magically gifted, her horn had never been particularly long, and her diet and sedentary lifestyle of studying and reading left little chance for her to maintain a lithe physique. Lero’s eyes suddenly widened in realization; according to pony cultural standards, his mate, his beautiful little sparkle, would be considered… ugly, or at best unattractive. Some stallions he’d met had told him so, usually to their detriment, but now he began to truly understand why.

Twilight had turned back and now looked down at her seated human stallion, seeming to sense the change in his demeanor. “Now do you understand, Lero? Rainbow and I… we both know how other ponies see us, both stallions and mares. We’ve both had to sacrifice a lot for our dreams. I wanted to become the most magically talented unicorn ever, and some might say I did, but it came at the cost of a lifestyle and diet that might have at least helped give me a figure to offset my coloration, height and horn length. Rainbow chose to pursue becoming a Wonderbolt and in so doing took on a physique more in line with a pegasus stallion than a mare. In the end we both made those choices and don’t regret them, doubly so since you entered our lives. But there’s one choice we never made, one that society made for us, and that’s to tell us that our colorations aren’t attractive. That our colorations aren’t good enough.“

Twilight took a deep breath and a look of steely determination overtook her. “And that’s something we’re finally in a position to change.”

Suddenly it all began to make sense. The dark blue dress. It all came back to that.

He’d known, from their first awkward kiss years ago, that Rainbow hid her true feelings about how she viewed herself from everyone. While she was always happy to revel in any attention derived from her flying skills or heroics, she was never comfortable with others viewing her only as a mare. And now, here was Twilight and Rarity, using Twilight’s new position as a Duchess to push for a social change, and dragging Rainbow along with it, putting her on display for all to see as part of that.

That demonstration, that… celebration of what she was, was the key to the whole thing. Twilight wouldn’t make the same mistake Celestia did in her grief; she wouldn’t favor one color pony over another. She’d decided to set an example by forcing herself to be proud of her coloration, to embrace it and clothe herself in it for all to see. For that she was going to need the support of her whole herd, of everyone that loved her.

“That’s why you and Rarity want Rainbow to wear a dark colored dress at the Gala with you. The new Duchess, her stallion, and her herd all wearing what most would consider unattractive colors. You want the rest of the nobility to notice, and in so doing it will trickle down to everyone else. You’re hoping to help restore the balance…”

Pausing for a moment, Lero considered her plans. “So I take it Lyra will be wearing something dark as well?”

“Yup, it’ll be quite the fashion statement, if you’ll pardon the pun. The five of us in dark but otherwise beautifully fashionable formal wear. Even Princess Luna has agreed to be there, just to help drive it all home. I bet by this time next year well over half of the Canterlot elite will be wearing something purple, black or blue!”

“So Rarity isn’t doing this for the fame, she’s doing to it for the statement,” Lero realized, quickly making a mental note to offer her several free massages at the spa.

“Yeah. It was actually her idea. For the longest time I just accepted that I was ugly and after a while I just didn’t care. Why care what you look like when your brother and foalsitter are your only friends and you spend all day in the library, right? But when we freed Luna from Nightmare Moon, Rarity told me that we were all heroes now and could use our fame to inspire those around us. She’s been convincing me to be proud of my darker coloration rather than hide it since the first Grand Galloping Gala. When Rarity realized my elevation to Duchess could act as a major springboard for it, she enlisted me again immediately. She’s putting her reputation as a designer on the line for this,” Twilight confirmed. “Her cutie mark is about bringing out hidden beauty, and -- as she so tactfully put it to me -- she’s ‘willing to risk everything to make sure ponies see the beauty right in front of their faces, even if society’s been too stupid to see it before.’”

“No wonder she was so passionate about it this morning,” Lero chuckled. Suddenly the full implications of that passion hit Lero and the smile fell from his lips. “Now I see why she fought Rainbow on this for a solid three hours.”

Twilight’s deep lavender eyes were studying him, hoping that he was drawing the right conclusions. “We need Rainbow for this, Lero. We have to show a united front.” Her gaze slid over to the blue feather braided in his hair, a look she ensured he wouldn’t miss. “I may be a Duchess now, but she’s the head of this herd. Without her involvement it could be seen as me trying to usurp her due to my new position. Now we might be able to carry this on our own, but I can’t be certain. Rarity isn’t. She’s convinced that without Dash, without all of us, they’ll dismiss the whole thing out of hoof using every negative stereotype we’re trying to combat, and tarnishing all our reputations in the process.”

He sighed deeply, his gaze leaving Twilight’s as he slowly rubbed his hand over his face. Gears spun in his head as he tried to figure out what he could possibly tell Rainbow to make her understand what he just realized, to make her accept that this was a risk she had to take.

Twilight walked over quietly and nuzzled over his cheek. “This isn’t just some ball, Lero, this is --“

“I get it… I get it, Twilight,” he said softly, cutting her off. He pushed her back enough to be able to look her in the face again, though kept his fingers entwined with her mane. “It absolutely breaks my heart, but maybe for the first time, I finally get it.” He saw what his words did to her and leaned forward to pull her into a kiss.

“Twilight Sparkle, my wonderful sparkle.” He gave her nose a brush with his lips. He thought of Rainbow Dash, the words she said to him when she first confessed her love for him, and wished that she could be here to hear what he was going to say. They would be the exact same either way so he’d just have to repeat it for her. “I thought you were pretty when I first met you. And you were beautiful when I fell in love with you. And it breaks my heart to know that it took someone from a completely alien culture for you to ever hear those words.”

There were tears in her eyes as she whispered his name and planted another long, loving kiss on his lips. When they broke it was so she could wrap her forelegs around him and bury her face in his shoulder, blotting the tears that still flowed.

Lero gently stroked the purple coat of that shivering leg and nuzzled at her neck. “When Rainbow gets home, don’t say anything about this. Leave her to me.”

--------------------------

It was still several hours before Lero and Twilight heard the front door swing open. Removing his apron, Lero left Twilight by the stove and swiftly walked out of the kitchen, smiling to his two returning herd members and his effectively-adopted son Spike.

“Mmmmm, something smells good, Big guy,” Rainbow exclaimed after drawing in a breath through her nose, her fur and mane matted with sweat.

The human stallion smirked and pointed a thumb back toward the kitchen. “Spaghetti Carbonara, your favorite. Shrimp for us two, no shrimp for Lyra and Twi. Gems for Spike. I figured the two of you could use a hearty meal after your workout. Speaking of, how’d that go?”

“I kicked flank!” Rainbow exclaimed, hovering for a moment before wincing and landing back down on the library floor. “Not that Lyra didn’t put up a good fight…”

The mint green unicorn simply smirked and took a seat by the couch. Lyra, looking substantially less matted and disheveled than her pegasus herdmate, peered at her for a moment before smiling broadly “Unfortunately the flank she kicked was Cranky Doodles’.”

Spike tried to hold it in but a raucous laugh soon echoed through the tree as he lost it completely.

“Hey, he got in the way after you redirected me!” Rainbow frumped as Lero wandered over and began to massage her aching wing.

“So did the tree, and the bush…” Lyra smirked.

“And Applejack’s cart, and Applejack, and Pinkie Pie…” Spike continued.

Rainbow glared a moment at her herdmate. “Hey, at least Pinkie bounces! And I did land a couple of good hits on you, if you recall!”

“I think I recall a couple in those brief moments when you weren’t laying on your back or face,” Spike considered, stroking his chin.

Suddenly Lyra rose from the couch and made her way to the stairs. “Anyway, I’m going to grab a shower. Consider it this way, Rainbow: at least this time I broke a sweat!”

“Bah!” Rainbow growled as Lyra began to trot upstairs, “One day, Horny, one day….”

Lero gestured briefly to the dragon and grinned. “Hey Spike, can you go help Twilight finish off dinner? It should be nearly done and you know how much of a risk it can be to leave Twilight cooking by herself.”

As soon as Lyra had passed him, Lero quickly rounded on Rainbow and pulled her into a solid hug, sparing no attention to the perspiration that began to seep into his clothing. Dash’s eyes widened in surprise as she wrapped her wings around him. She opened her mouth to question, though not complain, about the suddenness of his affections when his hands came up and pulled her into a deep kiss, cutting off any chance of protest.

Minutes passed as Rainbow melted into his embrace before he finally broke the kiss and pulled his head back.

“Wow. What was that for, big guy?” Rainbow asked, her lips pulling up into a smile. She ran a hoof along Lero’s arm. “Not that I mind…”

His hands didn’t let go of her head, instead continuing to slowly work his fingers over the base of her ears and his thumbs over her cheeks. Her rose colored eyes shone as he gazed into them. “Because we have to talk and you might not like what I have to say.”

He was expecting her to try and pull away and held her in his grip ever so slightly. It wasn’t enough to hurt and certainly wasn’t enough to stop her if she really wanted to get back, but it was just enough to let her know what he wanted. Her eyes flicked back and forth across his face but she was thankfully quick to notice the seriousness in his gaze.

“What… what are you talking about, Lero? ‘Cause you know I was just kidding around with Lyra, and there were no actual property damages…”

“Dash, I had a long talk with both Twilight and Rarity today.” He gave her another gentle squeeze, cutting off her inevitable protest when her frown suddenly became a grimace. “Now before you say anything else, I want you to answer a single question for me. What price would you pay so that no other pegasi colt or filly has to grow up thinking they’re ugly?”

Author's Note:

TQM: Ooooh, guest chapter! I love guest chapters. I especially love how Stichwolf's taken a big ol' jump into some of the hows and whys of pony culture. That and Twilight using her new found status as a member of nobility to give some stuffy old traditions and out-moded conventions a swift kick up the arse.

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