• Published 2nd Dec 2012
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Xenophilia: Further tales. - TheQuietMan

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49: With smiles and clenching jaws – Part Two.

WITH SMILES AND CLENCHING JAWS – PART TWO
(Baby, life's what you make it, can't escape it.)

Chapter published 6th Jan 2013

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Late April 1223 AC


Enjoying the view from the second floor of the Wonderbolts’ HQ, Captain Rainbow Dash and her friend Professor Star Sparkle, took a moment to sit and relax in contemplative silence. Both were warmed by a lingering glow felt deep within their chests, a glow fueled by only Celestia knew how many shots of the finest, and most potent, moonshine known to ponykind.

There was less than a hour of daylight left and pretty soon the sky would begin to work its colourful magic, creating a glorious sunset as unique as the day that had preceded it.

Star knew that this was Rainbow’s favourite time of the day. Not that they had ever discussed it but she had heard many a time from her daughter that, as evening fell, the young pegasus was apt to occasional disappearances only to be found sitting alone on the roof of their Ponyville home, or out on a balcony of their Canterlot apartment.

After a while Star felt it was safe to broach another question, one she’d been considering letting pass them by for the last few minutes. “There’s something else that’s bothering you isn’t there?” She asked, her voice carefully casual.

“What makes you think that?” As Rainbow took another sip of ‘shine she didn’t look at her companion, her attention instead focused through the window to the world outside

“The princess seemed to think there was more. She said you’ve been more… What’s the word she used? Ah, more ‘confrontational’ than usual the last few weeks and when she means you, my dear, that’s saying something. Something else is bothering you, something quite major and I think it’s something that’s come to a head rather recently, am I right?”

Star let silence fill the room again. Her young friend had been quite open with her today, whether it was just the moonshine at work she couldn’t say, but she didn’t want to push too far lest the pegasus clam up on her.

After slowly rocking her chair from side to side for a while, Rainbow swiveled herself around to take in the collection of family pictures on her wall, her gaze soon settling on a picture of her herd’s public wedding a few years before. The happy herd were sitting together on a bench in the palace gardens, an archway of flowers curved gracefully above them as they smiled broadly for the camera, a look of contented joy gracing all four faces.

By this point in the day family and friends had been greeted, blessings had been given, vows had been spoken (or sung in Lyra’s case) and many a tear had been shed. The four of them were now pressed close together just enjoying the afterglow. Twilight was lounging against Lero’s right hip, curled lazily around him so that her forehooves rested on her stallion’s lap. Lyra lay on Lero’s far left, a forehoof haphazardly draped over her favourite harp, the same harp she’d used not forty minutes beforehand... beforehoof… to serenade the gathered crowd with her vows. Rainbow herself was perched between Lero and Lyra, her wings spread wide to as if to gather her herd into a protective embrace.

Fitted snuggly around the base of each of the unicorn’s horns were matching gold bands, a much smaller duplicate proudly displayed on the middle finger of the human’s right hand. A larger version of the same design could be seen on the pegasi’s left forehoof as she held it out towards the camera, making sure that the light of the setting sun glanced from it’s beautifully polished surface.

Rainbow put down her glass and rubbed at her left forehoof, her ankle bare, the wedding band now resting safely at home. She hated not wearing it during the day but the life of a Wonderbolt could be dangerous and she couldn’t risk something happening to it. Lero had insisted on crafting all four bands himself, stating that a symbol of eternal unity such as this had to be something personal. There would be no commissioning an artisan to create them and certainly no magical assistance, just two strong hands and a lot of hard work. It meant the world to her… He meant the world to her.

Taking a deep breath, Rainbow gathered herself for what she was about to say. Maybe it was the ‘shine, maybe it was the need to just let it all out, either way she’d said more than enough so far but it seemed to be the day for it so what could another little revelation hurt?

“I guess Twilight’s told you that we’re trying to have foals… With Lero I mean.” Rainbow wasn’t sure exactly how the older mare would take the news. She could be stubbornly old-fashioned at times and the concept of breeding with a non-pony was an issue that seemed to divide a lot of opinions.

“Of course, dear. Though I knew about it long before she told me.” Star surprised the pegasus with her almost cheerful response. “There’s not much that gets past me these days.”

“Oh.” Was all Rainbow could say. “And you’re not… mad or anything? Not going to start on about how ponies should be with ponies or preserving bloodline purity or anything?”

The professor looked somewhat aghast which surprised Rainbow even more.

“I’m shocked, that you should lump me in with those racist idiots.” Star had to take a quick drink to calm her nerves. The very insinuation… “I may be many things, young lady, but I am not one to stand in the way of my daughter’s happiness.” A look that could only be described as ‘shifty’ quickly graced her features. “Unless of course she’s being a complete fool, in which case all bets are off.“

Calmed now she took a longer sip. “I know that Twilight’s been quietly working with Princess Luna the last few years on some very complex transmogrification spells. None of it’s been made public yet but it looks like some of the side benefits of their work could have far reaching effects in the fields of magical medicine; slowing aging, rectifying the effects of major injuries, that kind of thing.”

Rainbow was astounded, Twilight’s work had been declared top secret by non-other than the princesses themselves. “How do you know all this?”

Star just looked at the younger mare like she’d just grown an extra head. Which taking Twilight’s recent discoveries into account could be more than possible by now.

“Really, my dear? There’s very little I’m not privy to these days, just think about who my children are. My son; the ex-captain of the Royal Guard, co-ruler of the Crystal Empire, married to a princess turned empress. My daughter; the personal protégé of Princess Celestia, hotly tipped to be Equestria’s next arch-mage and married to the only human Equestria has ever seen.” Oh crud, it was that smug smirk again. “To top it all, my dear Lucent is rather friendly with the Princess of the Night, but best not to mention that too much.”

Simply stunned, Rainbow had to ask. “How friendly?”

The unicorn leant forward over the desk as her voice dropped a couple of octaves. “Very.”

After letting the implications sink in she carried on. “Between them, I have access to the ear of all three alicorns. Plus I have my own rather extensive information network in place. Decades of traveling the globe has left me with more contacts and favours than I could count, should I care to. I dare say there’s not a university left in Equestria without somepony on its faculty, somepony important that is, that doesn’t owe me something.”

“Yeah, well, remind me not to piss you off then.” Rainbow remarked, though a slight hint of nervousness may have sneaked its way into her voice. “So it’d taken years but it looked like Twilight was about as ready as she’d ever be. The original idea was for her to cast this heat spell she’s made on the three of us so we didn’t have to wait ‘til it rolled around again on its own, then we change Lero into a pony for a while and then lock ourselves away for a week of …” She paused as if she’d just remembered who she was talking to “Err, you know, stuff that comes naturally. We figured that hopefully by the end of it at least one of us would be with foal.”

Rainbow paused again, Star could definitely feel a ‘but’ coming up soon.

“But…” There it was. “Turns out it’s not that easy. I won’t go into it now, mainly because most of it’s way over my head but it seems like, without the transformation spell being cast on him almost constantly, Lero’s body just keeps snapping back into its original shape. Not too big a deal we thought, we’ve got two unicorns after all. Lyra had picked up the basic reinforcement spells far faster that Twi ever thought she would. Seems her special talent helps her to ‘flow with the fabric of the universe’ or some such guff.”

The pegasus waved her glass around as it to demonstrate quite what she thought of the mint green unicorn’s occasional metaphysical ramblings.

“The bigger problem is that without regular magical attention any pony embryo created using his sperm tries to tear itself into two separate halves, one part pony, one part human… Neither half survives.”

“Oh.” This time it was Star’s turn to be stuck for something to say. She didn’t want to ask how many times they’d gone through the motions before they’d figured out that particular pitfall, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.

“Yep, tell me about it.” Rainbow’s eyes held such sadness but they then quickly took on a dreamy appearance. “Oh, but you should see him as a pony. He’s so handsome, tall like a draft pony and his fur’s so soft, just like a foal’s, you just want to grab him and hold him all day. He’s not quite the same colour each time either, sometimes he’s tan or orange, others he’s more of a light grey.” Her face went past dreamy and into awestruck territory.

“And always such a beautiful tail, all burnt oranges and flaming reds with the occasional strand of fiery gold running all the way through it, just slightly curly at the end. When it catches the breeze it looks like living fire.” The redness of her face caused by the copious amounts of alcohol in her system was at this point totally outclassed by the blush that graced her cheeks. “Ohhh, his hooves, such strong hooves, you just want to feel them all over your body. Still not a patch on his fingers though.”

Leaning over the desk like some kind of school-filly sharing a secret she whispered into Star’s ear. “Hung like an earth pony too.”

“Ahem, according to Lyra anyway. Not that I’d know.” Leaving Star to cope with that mental image, probably one involving her own daughter, Rainbow leant her chair back as far as it would go and rested her rear hooves on the edge of her desk before she continued. “Seems it’s easiest for Twi to go for as close to earth pony physiology as possible, making him a unicorn or pegasus just doesn’t seem to work at all.”

“So plan A was out but Twi’s gotten really good at changing just bits of him since then, the bits that matter anyway. Each time she can do a bit more of him or hold it for a bit longer and she reckoned we’re about as ready for plan B as we’re ever gunna be.”

Rainbow tapped the edge of her hoof against her glass; it made a surprisingly loud noise in the otherwise silent office.

“So once an embryo’s formed the mother’d need regular magical boosters from a separate unicorn for most of the pregnancy. She’d have to take it real easy with her own magic too as it’d probably disturb the baby’s development.”

The pegasus stopped tapping her glass; she could see it was making Star’s left ear flick and, while they’d usually delight in finding new and interesting way to drive each other nuts, this wasn’t the time for it.

“Twilight was insistent she be the first to try it, said she wouldn’t risk spells being cast on anypony else if she wasn’t prepared to go through it herself first. But then Luna said I’d be the best match, what with me being part earth-pony while Twi’ and Lyra are both thoroughbreds. Something about Lero’s pony form being almost an earth pony meant a lower chance of birth defects, less long-term complications, loads of other big words I didn’t understand.”

Rainbow’s wings ruffled against the back of the chair. “They told me I’d have to cut right down on my flying, just couldn’t risk my pegasus magic clashing with spell. I wouldn’t be able to be far from Twi for too long either. But, I figured, what the hay, except for work and stuff I’m grounded much of the time now anyway.

“So it was looking good; the magic was ready, the stallion was ready, time to get the mare ready.” She took another sip of her drink, pulling a face as the next memory hit home. “They put me on a special diet, ran millions of tests, Twi and the princess sat me through more magical scans than any pony should ever have to go though.”

Rainbow placed a forehoof over her eyes; this was the part she really didn’t want to talk about. “And then it all went downhill. Turns out that this mare...” she swept the hoof from her neck to her flank “Is barren. Ain’t no seed taking purchase in this pony’s field.” For the final statement her voice sounded remarkably like Applejack, accent and all.

Star was momentarily stunned. If there was a pony she had never expected to hear this news from, it was the young mare in front of her. “Could Twilight or the princesses not do anything?” She asked.

“’Fraid not. They tried, oh how they tried, but seems like there’s a whole bunch of things come together meaning I can’t have kids, magically assisted or otherwise. You know what Twi’s like when she’s got her egghead hat on.”

Rainbow snorted. “I mean literally got her egghead hat on. Lyra made her put her graduation cap on once while she was explaining something big and it kinda stuck. Now she always puts it on when she’s explaining the really heavy stuff at home. None of us have the heart to tell her how silly she looks.”

The forehoof returned to rubbing the pegasi’s brow. “So anyway, she’s all ‘magical resonance’ this and ‘nucleotide cross stabilisation’ that. I only got as far as ‘benign neoplasm’ and I knew it was hopeless. I didn’t need to follow most of it, I just looked at Lero, he knew what she was going on about and the look on his face told me everything I needed to know. ”

Rainbow let her glass rest on her belly while she contemplated what to say next.

“So, basic upshot of it for the non-brainiacs in the family is that my pegasus magic’s been like, uber-charged by my earth pony heritage, makes me more powerful than other pegasi. Always said I was at least twenty percent more awesome than your average mare, seems I was right.” She let loose a short joyless laugh. She seemed to be doing that a lot today. “Ironic isn’t it, bearer of the element of loyalty gets a whole bunch of her power from being the product of a disloyal mare. But it also seems that the thing that makes me such a totally kickass flyer is also what means I can’t have any kids.“

Pulling her legs from atop the desktop, she curled them back underneath herself. Resting her head on a forehoof she stared vacantly out of the window. Only half aware she watched a pair of birds resting on the outside ledge. The birds chirped at each other briefly before flying away, probably in search of a place to roost for the night.

“Twi’s been looking into pulling out some of my eggs, adding Lero’s contribution and then using herself as a surrogate. But Luna’s worried there’s just too much that could go wrong, too many variables, too much chance of rejection.” She almost spat the final word, as if it was leaving a sour taste in her mouth.

”Rejection… Story of my childhood right there.” She took a large sip, as if to clear a foul taste from her mouth. “Anyway, apart from all that, the huge amount of constant magic needed to keep it all stable for eleven months would just be too much for any unicorn, even one as powerful as Twi.“

Both sat pondering their drinks for the moment, the only sounds being the occasional sip and the steady ticking of the office clock. The admin staff on the rest of the floor had long vacated the building.

Star finally broke the silence. “You’re worried it makes you less of a mare don’t you? That, in their eyes, you’re somewhat less than you were before.”

Rainbow’s head jerked around to her companion, she looked shocked, either at the suggestion itself or that just maybe Star might have hit the nail on the head. “No, no, I… Well, a little, maybe.” She turned away, as if to hide her eyes.

“It’s nothing to feel ashamed of.” Star reached out and hesitantly patted one of Rainbow’s forehooves with her own. “We had this with Crinkle, poor thing was absolutely terrified that she’d be cast out of the herd. It took both Lucent and Velvet months to talk her down. That’s why I reconnected with Soothing again, I thought she might be able to help. She did, it took a long time but…”

Her recollection trailed off, not sure how best to continue. Her herd-sister had overcome her breakdown with time, and with help, but the toll had been heavy and even now she could still be a bit twitchy about the subject.

The pegasus pulled her hoof away and moved towards the bottle again. “Well, perhaps it’s for the best, I’d probably be a shit mother.” Star arched an eyebrow at the unfamiliar curse word but Rainbow pressed on.

“I mean, look at my own mother. Cheated on my dad, got herself knocked up by an earth pony and as soon as I was old enough to look after myself she hot-tailed it off out the door as fast as her wings would carry her.” She made a flittering motion toward the damaged door with her forehoof.

“You hear about mares that just don’t get motherhood, that’s her, probably be me as well.” The remainder of her glass was tossed down her throat and another measure was swiftly poured to replace it. “Well, doesn’t matter now. It’s not going to happen so no use moping over it.”

But Rainbow could feel her emotions gathering up again, fighting for her attention. No, goddess damn it, she still had more to say on the subject. She was on a roll and nothing was going to stop her now. A good slug of her ‘shine and she slammed her glass down, startling her companion in the process.

“It just makes me so angry. I’d never really considered it before, being a mother I mean. Some of my herd-sisters weren’t exactly nice when I was growing up, telling me I was worthless and that I’d never amount to anything. So I’d grown up thinking no herd would ever take me and as I didn’t dig mares I was pretty much resigned to winding up old, alone and unloved.”

Rainbow’s words slipped free faster now, the glass forgotten as she gesticulated grandly with her forehooves. “Then Lero came along and opened my eyes, showed me I could actually be part of a herd, like somepony like me could actually deserve to be happy. So, we were a herd, the two of us, then pretty soon Twilight made three and before you know it we’ve got Lyra as well and we’re a proper little family.”

“I love them and they love me and it’s everything I’d ever really wanted, even if I hadn’t known it. Then I got into the Wonderbolts and it was all like a dream come true. I kinda felt wanting any more than that was just greedy, that I’d gotten more than I deserved already.” A forehoof dug into the desktop. “Then Twi started on all serious about these old transformation spells and I thought, yeah, it’s possible, ya’know, it could happen. Didn’t take it as serious as her at the time though.”

Rainbow idly span her glass on the desktop. The recent urgency to get her words out was subsiding and she started to relax into her chair again

“But then Rarity’s first foal came along and she’s showing off little Diamond Dust and I started thinking, really thinking this time, about what it’d be like to be a mother. Then Fluttershy started talking about how she and Big Mac were trying for foals and I figured, yeah, why not me? I mean, Twilight says it’s doable so why the buck not? I could take a few years off from the Wonderbolts, raise a foal and come back fighting. Blazing Glory did it, twice even.”

Letting her glass settle she angrily flicked away some of the loose splinters from her earlier outburst that still littered her desktop. “But not me, not now, not ever. Looks like I can’t even do that right.”

Rainbow slumped forward again, letting her chin land on her hooves. Star just stared at the glass sitting in front of her, her ears had drooped uncharacteristically low, as if they didn’t even have the energy to remain standing, Finally she spoke for the first time in minutes, though to her it felt like years.

“When it comes to our major life plans, Rainbow dear, reality doesn’t always go the way we want it to, especially when it comes to having children.” Star sighed sadly.

“Oh, what do you know? You had your kids.” Rainbow snapped, rising out of her chair. “Two fine upstanding offspring of your very own. All off saving the world, making you proud and shit.”

“But I didn’t want them.” Star snapped back, also rising from her chair. As if realising what she’d just said she sat back down again just as quickly. Momentarily glancing up she swiftly looked away again, she couldn’t stand to see the look of shock on the pegasi’s face.

“It’s true you know, I didn’t want them. I didn’t want to be a mother at all, that was to be Velvet’s job.” She took a long pull of her ‘shine. “I had so much I wanted to do with my life, so many places I wanted to see, I was going to do such great things. A foal would have just tied me down, shackled me to one place.”

The shocked expression was not fading from Rainbow’s face. She slowly sat back down as Star carried on, her words slowly coming forth like a long held confession.

“I wanted to be famous adventurer like my great uncle Pear Cider. He was a unicorn but his mother had been an earth pony you see, hence the name. There was so much more of a stigma back then about marrying outside of your tribe and uncle Cider said he never felt comfortable around other unicorns, so he’d travel instead. Claimed he’d make more of a difference that way.”

Star let forth a short laugh. ”Took an Apple family girl as his lead mare in the end. If you think unicorns back then could be stuffy about mating with non-unicorns, you should have seen the scandal an Apple mare caused by running off with a unicorn, especially a Cavalbridge unicorn. A real bunch of tribal purists they were back in the day.”

The weary unicorn pondered her drink for a moment, the younger pegasus did the same. Like Star, Rainbow wasn’t known for being a mare of great tact, but also like Star, she had learned the hard way when to shut her muzzle and let a troubled pony get something off their chest.

“So they travelled the world together for years and years. They lead the first successful team to explore the land of Neighpon back since it had begun its self-imposed isolation. The Apple-Cider expedition they called it. They had a real hoof in re-establishing communications between the two nations, set up many of the early trade routes as well. He just wanted to make a difference, I guess I did too.”

Star gave a deep sigh. Was she ready to get back on topic or should she carry on down this conversational avenue for a while yet?

“A fascinating culture, the Neighponese, I’ve been there many times now. A little too fond of octopi if you ask me though. Used to be there wasn’t a single pegasi there, which was a shame. Mainly just earth pony farmers, some warriors too, plus a small ruling class made up almost entirely of unicorns. You’d never believe how they control the weather…”

She looked up at Rainbow, whose shocked expression had long since faded, to be replaced by one of astonishment… And maybe also a touch of impatience.

“Sorry, I’m getting off topic.” Star’s glass was placed gently on the desktop as her tale found itself back on track once more.

“Shining wasn’t planned you see, I was on an expedition to Boarundi when I discovered that I was with foal. Velvet turned us around and brought us both straight back home again. I felt like my whole life, everything I’d studied for, everything I’d planned, everything I’d spent years of my life building had just collapsed around me. I kept telling myself that when the baby was born it’d all be ok, but when he came I just didn’t know what to do at all. I’d look at him, so small and pale and needy, and I just didn’t have a clue. I just couldn’t connect with him, and the worst part was, in my heart I didn’t even know if I really wanted to.”

Tears were making their way to her eyes now. Nopony outside of her immediate family had ever seen the great Star Sparkle cry before, always so self-assured, positively radiating confidence at all times. She’d always been so sure that nopony would ever see though it all, the shell she’d carefully built up over the years.

“I was such an awful mother. If it weren’t for Velvet the poor boy would have starved in his crib. She took to motherhood like a natural. I tell you, I swear the boy couldn’t tell us apart most of the time so I let her take over and as soon as I was able to I took a position on a overseas expedition to Mericka and I… I ran away.”

Raising her head She looked deep into Rainbow’s eyes, the unicorn’s tears beginning their journey down her cheeks just as the pegasi’s had earlier.

“You want to see a real coward, or one of these mares you hear of that just don’t understand motherhood? Well, Rainbow dear, here I am, my foal not even a year old and I ran away. Spent the next few years running too. Oh I’d come home for a few months here and there but then I’d get the itch and I’d be off again. You think your mother was bad; she’s not a patch on me. At least she only left you once; I ‘hot-tailed’ it out of the door time and time again.”

Star grabbed her glass with her magic and brought it to her lips. A long, slow sip was taken as her mind pushed her once again though a past she’d rather not have to face.

“Then a few years later, I had been home for only a few weeks and the heat took me by surprise. All my time away had left me out of sync and we were still so young and impulsive. Next thing I knew I was with foal once more. I thought my life was over all over again; I had so many accolades under my belt, so many projects that needed my attention and the last thing I wanted was another foal. So when my little filly was born I just dumped her on Velvet and ran away again. I hadn’t even given her a name yet, just up and ran. I didn’t even know she was called Twilight Sparkle until Lucent tracked me down in southern Prance.”

Tears were freely streaming down her face by this point. Feelings of guilt and shame that Star had thought contained for so long finally burst their banks, building momentum as they searched for release.

“Velvet didn’t speak to me for almost a year, hardly speaks to me even now. Not the way she used to. We were like sisters once, not any more. Can’t say I blame her though. I was so concerned about losing my freedom that I stole hers out from under her. She’d tried for years, tried so hard for a foal of her own and instead I saddled her with two of mine.”

Rainbow was at a loss for words. This wasn’t the Star Sparkle that she knew; the confident mare who could dominate a room with a single look, the respected professor who terrorised her students like a bunch of tiny fillies afraid of the boogiemare. The unquestionable haughtiness that defined her very being had fled the scene, tail tucked between its legs.

Star pulled a small hoofkerchief from the outside pocket of her jacket and, with her magic, used it to dab at her eyes. Once satisfied she was presentable again she continued her tale.

“Years passed and the next thing I know my little ponies have all grown up and left the nest. Shining had joined the guard like Velvet’s older brother and Twilight had gone on to become the new royal protégé. Then Velvet had a foal of her own and suddenly there I was, a middle-aged mare sitting alone in a dig site halfway across Equestria. So I packed up my things and came home but by then it was just too late. By the time I’d decided to pay attention they were all grown up and didn’t need me any more.”

Rainbow’s mind ran back to conversations she’d had with Twilight over the years; long talks about friends and family, what they hoped for their future, what they’d learnt from their pasts. But when it came to how she felt her birth-mother, the purple unicorn had kept those thoughts very much to her self. In fact, Lero was the only one she’d ever really open up to about it and even then the human had quietly stated later that he felt it was something best kept between the two of them. Rainbow had let it drop after that; she knew well how painful a topic family could be.

Star paused to magically refold her hoofie before gently tucking it away back in its pocket. Using her hoof to smooth out the line of her jacket she pressed on, an uncharacteristic tinge of regret colouring her speech.

“I know I’m not a very nice pony, Rainbow, I know I’ve made some bad decisions in my life. I’ve been an awful friend and an absolutely terrible mother and I doubt my children will ever truly love me. We talk and we’re friendly, but I know the connection’s not really there, not like it is between them and Velvet. These are the things that I’ve got to live with.”

She looked Rainbow in the eye, holding her gaze. “But you, you’ve got it all still ahead of you. Your chance at motherhood hasn’t passed you by yet.”

Rainbow waved her glass around, spilling some of her ‘shine on the desktop where, with a gentle ‘hiss’ and a small waft of smoke, it seeped its way into the exposed surface. The desk was too damaged for the pegasus to even care in the slightest at this point. Even if it wasn’t the alcohol in her system had quashed any concerns she may have had for her employer’s office equipment long ago.

“Well unless Twilight can pull off some kind of miracle or the princesses can magic me up a whole new reproductive system then I think it’s safe to assume I’m never gunna be nopony’s mother.“

The two of them sat in silence for a moment until Star used her magic to lift a frame from amongst the family pictures on the wall and floated it over to the desk. It was an image taken just the year before at Scootaloo’s graduation from advanced flight school.

The teenage pegasus was standing proudly in her immaculate flight suit, her mane for once carefully brushed and tamed, an old and battered pair of goggles sitting atop her head, peeking out from her purple tresses. Next to her stood Rainbow Dash in her Wonderbolt’s dress uniform, a forehoof casually laid over the younger mare’s shoulders. It was hard to tell which of the two had the larger grin plastered across their muzzles.

Star floated the image in front of Rainbow’s face. “Where’s Scootaloo’s mother in this image?” She asked bluntly.

Rainbow just snorted. “You know as well as I do her mother’s dead.” She grabbed the frame and pulled it out of the magic field that had been holding it aloft. “Damn drunk flew herself in front of a train years ago. Fool just couldn’t live without her stallion. If the train hadn’t killed her the drink soon would’ve.” She tenderly ran her hoof across the image. “The idiot was so wrapped up in her own problems that she couldn’t see how much her daughter needed her.”

“No, you’re not listening to me.” Star leant - or more like half-slumped - forward and tapped the frame with a hoof “In this image… As far as young Scootaloo is concerned, where is her mother? Who was it that was there for her when she needed her, took her in to her own home, raised her, treated her like family for the better part of a decade even though there was no reason she should?”

The pegasus said nothing as she stared at the image of the young mare that over the years she’d come to see as a younger sister, or maybe more than a sister. All the time they’d spent together, the things they’d done, the places they’d been. She didn’t care how the dictionary defined it, as far as she was concerned they were family. Slowly a lone tear rolled down her cheek, soon to be joined by many more. It didn’t matter to her now that she was with company, Rainbow just let them fall, feeling no shame at her display of emotion.

Star put her hoof gently on her young friend’s shoulder. “You’ve been a mother for a long time now, Rainbow Dash, a mother and a teacher. You just didn’t know it. You’re as much a mother to that girl as Velvet’s been to my Twilight. More than her real mother was and much, much more than I could ever manage.”

Star settled back in her chair and magically lifted her glass is if in salute. “Just because a child doesn’t come out of you, doesn’t mean that you’re not their mother. ”She leant back and threw up her hooves. “So you’re not going to be birthing them yourself… big deal. Just think of all the things you’re not going to have to put up with… morning sickness for one. Oh Celestia knows how much I hated that. I mean literally, she knows. I caught her after your wedding and made sure to let her know all about what us poor old mortals have to put up with. No reason why she should be the only one not having to go through it all. Virgin princess my dock…” Whatever Star said next was lost as she muttered into her drink.

Rainbow couldn’t help but snort as the image of an irate Star Sparkle berating the Co-ruler of all Equestria - Defender of the realm and Goddess of the Sun - about bouts of nausea from ancient history sprang to mind.

Undeterred Star carried on. “Then there’s your figure going completely to seed…” She poked herself in the stomach with a forehoof. “Do you know how long it took to get back into shape each time. Plus young Shining almost destroyed my teats when he was suckling. That boy’s got quite a mouth on him. I almost feel sorry for poor Cadence.” Letting her glass move away in the grasp of her magic field she waved a hoof vaguely in Rainbow’s direction. ”Although I’m sure she’s found a number of good uses for it by now.”

Rainbow snorted again at the completely inappropriate image that flashed though her mind, an image involving the regents of the Crystal Empire and what they may, or may not, get up to in the bedroom. For some reason the image also involved strawberry jelly so maybe she’d had quite enough ‘shine for one day. Quickly she moved to hang the picture back on the wall in order to hide her embarrassment.

“Most importantly, you won’t have to take time way from your flight practice… Which means you can keep that delightfully tight tush of yours just the way it is.” Star’s forehoof moved quicker than that of a mare of her age had any right to, landing a rather loud slap across Rainbow’s flank which made her jump.

“Hey, you promised to behave.” The pegasus scowled, though there was no real anger behind it.

“I’m sorry, but you go waving that delightfully tasty morsel in my face after…ahhh… two, I think, glasses of Moonshine.” Star waved the glass around before staring at it suspiciously. Somehow it was empty again. ”And you expect me not to cop a feel. You poor deluded girl.”

Sighing deeply, Rainbow decided the time had come to cut the older mare off, pulling the empty glass out of Star’s magic field and placing it on her own side of the desk with the now virtually empty bottle. “Come on, I think it’s about time we got out of here. I’m feeling much happier now see…” She motioned to her face where she pulled the corners of her mouth up into a large grin. “So you can tell the princesses that your mission has been more than accomplished.

“Hmph. Well, if you say so.” The older mare sounded much like a disappointed foal as she begrudgingly, and rather slowly, pulled herself up out of her chair.

Packing her bottles of illicit hooch back into their hiding place and dropping the glasses back into the bottom of the filing cabinet, Rainbow ushered her reluctant friend out of her office and into the corridor. “So, what now?” She asked as she pulled the door closed behind her, ignoring the fact it no longer had any means of being secured.

“Well in the long term I do hope you’ll go and see Soothing Words.” Star put her hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder and looked her in the eye. “It’d do you the world of good you know. Apart from that though, it’s all up to you, it’s your life after all. But as far as I’m concerned nothing said today leaves this office.”

Her hoof briefly, and painfully, dug into the pegasi’s shoulder. “Seriously, if anypony finds out that I can actually be kind and considerate and caring and all that sort of nonsense I’ll deny every word of it.”

Rainbow had to let out a short laugh. “Your secret’s safe with me. Not that anypony’d ever believe me anyway,”

“That’s what I like about you, my dear. You know better than to mess with me.” Star’s usual confident smirk was well and truly back in it’s rightful place. “But seriously, think about what we’ve talked about. These kinds of problems won’t go away overnight. But with time, and a bit of help, it will get better.”

Star took her hoof back and used her magic to straighten her jacket. “Well, it’s been a long day and right now I think we could both do with something to eat.” Her ears perked as if she’d just had the most fabulous of ideas. “My dear, I’ve just had the most fabulous idea. There’s this delightful little Neighponese place down by the embassies that I really must take you to. My treat.”

She was right, it had been a long day, and much wordier than Rainbow would have liked. Food would be really good right about now, if only to soak up some of the alcohol.

“They can do some simply wonderful things with rice and they have a surprisingly large number of these tiny little fish dishes which makes it rather popular with Princess Luna’s pegasi guards.” Star gushed. “And they have a plentiful stock of this rather cheeky little rice wine that I’m just dying to introduce you to.”

“Aha.” Rainbow gave her suspicious look. “So the fact it’s popular with pegasi has nothing to do with why you suddenly want to go there then?”

Star’s eyes took on a somewhat dreamy look before she quickly put on an air of innocence that wouldn’t fool a blind mare... Or even a dead one for that matter. “My dear, I have absolutely no idea what you could mean.”

With that the older mare trotted off down the corridor towards the stairwell, her usual haughty spring back in her now slightly wobbly step.

The pegasus took a moment to compose herself before she turned back to the picture gracing the wall by her door. Running her hoof gently over the glass she offered a quick farewell to her old captain before she too trotted off after her friend.

While Rainbow was always up for some free food she wasn’t going to be staying out late tonight. After all, she had to be up early in the morning; firstly she needed to go and apologise to Spitfire, then she needed to head off across town to try and find Star’s old friend. She had a few things, a few personal things, which she suddenly felt the need to talk about.

They might not be able to fix her world in a day, but it would be a start.





WITH SMILES AND CLENCHING JAWS – CHAPTER END

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