<

TalonMach5

Joined March 2012
232 followers

Sequels

  • The Book of Water: The Heart of Winter
    Part two, of books two of four, in the Great Slave King Saga. An anthology of Equestria's history

    117,349 words · 880 views · 168 likes · 9 dislikes

Stories (4)

  • The Great Slave King
    King a slave of the diamond dogs, becomes a god and plots his revenge against those who wronged him.

    196,701 words · 5,355 views · 501 likes · 23 dislikes
  • Equestrian Tales Told by Tavernlight
    The Great and Powerful Trixie is telling tales in taverns and pubs all across Equestria. From the stately inns of Canterlot and Manehattan, to the backwaters of the soutern frontier.
    8,181 words · 578 views · 49 likes · 0 dislikes
  • The Book of Water: The Marriage of the Slave King
    Book two of four, in the Great Slave King saga. An anthology of Equestria's history
    234,563 words · 2,736 views · 327 likes · 21 dislikes
  • The Book of Water: The Heart of Winter
    Part two, of books two of four, in the Great Slave King Saga. An anthology of Equestria's history
    117,349 words · 880 views · 168 likes · 9 dislikes

Blog Posts (14)


This story is a sequel to The Great Slave King

It has been nearly five hundred years since the events chronicled in the Book of Earth: The Great Slave King transpired. Since then, the man made a god has been busy trying to introduce the technology from the land of his birth to the magical realm of Equestria. As the years passed, the Lord of Earth, no longer a godling, has grown into his powers and has become a force to be reckoned with. Under the tutelage of the Ladies of Air and Summer, he has become as great as any of the other Prime Elemental deities.

With the assistance of his servants, Scourge the Hunter, founder and master of the Order of the Shadow; Arch Duke Fifi le Yipyap, once the Slave King's master now turned slave, and regent of the Domain of Earth; and Nightmare, the Slave King's first creation and constant companion, he has turned the wild and untamed lands of his realm into a wealthy and prosperous nation.

Now approaching his five hundredth year as the Lord of Earth, the Slave King is about to meet the greatest threat he has ever faced. Once again, the Slave King must stand alone against a unified pantheon plotting his downfall and eventual reenslavement. When presented with the pantheon's final ultimatum, will he stand his ground and fight, capitulate to their many demands, or twist their schemes against them?

Look inside and see gentlereader.

Book two of four, book one can be found at The Great Slave King

Part two can be found at The Book of Water: The Heart of Winter

TV Tropes Page: The Great Slave King: Special thanks goes to gentlereader Abstract Indigo

True cover art is forthcoming.

First Published
1st Dec 2012
Last Modified
1st Dec 2013

Comments ( 1,074 )

#1 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

its alive?

ITS ALIVE ITS ALIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEe

, WAKE THE WENCHES, BECAUSE ITS TIME TO CELEBRATE.

#2 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1720863 Thank you for comments gentlereader, It was never a question of if I would write the second book but only a matter of when. With 2012's NANO it was the perfect opportunity to feed your need for more Slave King. Hopefully you like the direction I take the story. Until next time gentlereader!

#3 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

Woot, a sequel!

#4 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1720888 Thank you for your comments gentlereader. A sequel indeed, the second of four planned stories in fact. Enjoy this latest offering with my thanks. Until next time gentlereader!

#5 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

I bow to your every powerful writing and compelling story.

#6 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1720974 Thank you for your comments gentlereader, anything in particular you found especially compelling?

#7 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1720984

Its your writing style, I always can imagine the characters and locales in my head while I read. You provide enough information to help the image form, but leave the rest to the reader. Really top quality writing, always leaves me coming back for more.

#8 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721008 Thanks gentlereader, hopefully I've improved since my last entry. But I was more interested in knowing what you thought about the plot characters etc so far

Tau
#9 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

It's here, it's finally here. Rejoice people and thank the mighty author.

#10 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

excellent, excellent  *claps* I have been waiting to read this a brilliant job.

#11 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721055 Thank you for your comments gentlereader, it was my pleasure to share this story with you.

>>1721085 Thank you for your comments gentlereader, was it everything you were hoping it would be?

I just can't wait till I get my first questions regarding the plot etc, those are always so much fun to answer.

#12 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721095 Indeed it was well worth the wait I am already anticipating the next chapter.

#13 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721102 It's already written and waiting to be published next week.

#14 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

Ah the sequel is finally here. Excellent!

As I didn't get around to commenting on your previous story, I'd like like to say how much I enjoyed it. Characters were well-developed and rounded, and the premise was interesting, while also managing to avoid the large trap of turning the protagonist into a Gary Stu character. His motives were something that resonated with me, and neatly showed the tragedy that one can become if they allow themselves to be consumed by rage and sorrow.

There's not enough to go in yet in this story for me to give any significant feedback, but it's a promising start and I look forward to reading more.

#15 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721164 Thank you for your comments gentlereader, I do enjoy seeing if what I've written resonates. Hopefully you enjoy the new characters I'm introducing. What did you think of the addendum, I thought it might be a useful refresher for people in case they had forgotten who some of the deities were plus including a few of the others.

#16 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721177

I did find it a useful refresher myself and very helpful in quickly getting back up to speed from where you left off previously. There are certainly times where I find myself wishing more authors would either do what you've done, or alternatively, put up a character sheet on their blog or profile.

#17 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

Time for a romance story and we open up with a city being sacked. Sounds about right.

So who keeps popping random humans into this land?

#18 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721269 Thanks for your comments gentlereader, I decided to have the random humans popping into Equestria as a tip of the hat to humans in Equestria stories. You know how they normally go, brony comes to Equestria and tries to get with his favorite pony. Because of this humans have a rather poor reputation now. Additionally the Slave King's behavior doesn't help things. The reason for humans entering into Equestria won't be fully explored until book three I'm afraid.

The reason for starting off the story with city being sacked, was to hopefully grab the reader's attention and also give you a healthy dose of Slave King antics. Plus conflict ensures that his neighbors will be paying him a little visit. Hopefully the romance won't be a botch, I'm trying my best to make sure it flows naturally. If I mess it up I'll be upset having wasted something I set up back in the beginning of the first book.

#19 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721319

Well romance stories do tend to start off with a bang.

Wait, bronys actually exist in your universe? That's weird. Anyway, was it a massive tree that connected all worlds in Norse mythology; is it like that?

#20 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721347 Well not brony's per say, but more along the line of the run of the mill HIE fic. Yes the Yggdrasil, it used to exist in Equestria until Lord Ouroboros burned it down. Now only its echo connects the realms. All under the watchful eye of Jormungandr.

#21 · Chapter 1 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

yes yes yes :pinkiehappy: the next book

#22 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

All these demigods watching Equestria. Who watches Earth, and what of other worlds?

#23 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721536 Well regarding Earth, probably one of the Earth's greatly worshiped deities. Equestria is a realm much apart from Earth, so whether any religious icons are taking an active on Earth I couldn't say. Technically the Equestrian are all full fledged deities not demigods. A demigod in the Greek would be someone like Achilles, Hector, Jason, Theseus, and then you have demigods who became a god like Heracles and Dionysus. But barring technology and brief moments where the worlds touch any mixing of Equestria and Earth is extremely limited.

#24 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721532 Thank you for your comments gentlereader, I'm so pleased I could make your day. Mind telling me what you found particularly enjoyable about the story?

#25 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721567

Hmm, I wonder if the Earth deity is concerned with his/her children being kidnapped into another world. Probably doesn't matter.

#26 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721678 well when you got 7 billion humans, a few are bound to slip through the cracks. Plus with so many wars going on, a handful of humans going to another universe probably isn't considered that big a deal. Though I probably won't touch much on Earth, book three will feature a human invasion of Equestria as part of the main storyline.

#27 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

wow just wow:pinkiehappy: now i cant wait for the next chapter:twilightsmile:

#28 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721770 What hooked you out of curiosity? What did you enjoy the most about the story?

#29 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721709

Ooh, let it be Russia that invades. They make great invaders, if a bit cliched. Giant manly men riding ursla majors into battle.

#30 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721806 I haven't really considered their nationality, but might make it a unified Earth deal. Humanity is looking for new resources and discovering a way into Equestria is the answer to all their problems. They just have to figure out how to deal with the pantheon first, and will the Slave King fall back to his previous allegiance or stand with his fellow deities. Find out sometime next year after book two is completed.

#31 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721787there is alot i liked about it but my favorite part would be how you portrey the characters of the story and how the  characters  all have a difforent  personality no 2 are exacticaly alke

sorry i dont have good spelling

#32 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721821 Oh that's fine, I just like to find out what my readers enjoy so I make sure to add more of that to future chapters.

#33 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721833thank you for asking

#34 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

Today was looking to be just another average boring day, until I saw this story in my notifications!  I was afraid you had given up on writing the other installments.

#35 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721919 Thank you gentlereader for your comment. Me give up? Outrageous! is what Sir Stouthorn would say. I attempted to go back to my other work The reluctant Cyborg but found I was having trouble. the side story I wrote using the same character wasn't well received and so it became a chore to write. But the Slave King I could never get bored of. It's a very personal story to me. It will only be finished after all four books have been written. I take it by your excitement you enjoyed the story thus far? If so what did you like the most?

#36 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721818

You know with all the alien invasion stories that we have, you would think we would know better.

#37 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1721975 Well with superior technology, few morals, and a lust for violence what could possibly stand in our way? Plus since everyone loves ponies, getting your very own as a spoil of war might make them want to invade even more.

#38 · Chapter 1 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

At long last chapter 2 in the slave king saga has begun!!:pinkiehappy:

I eagerly await what lies in store.:twilightsmile:

#39 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

I got stoned, and then read this... then I came up with the idea that a bunch of hippies helped the Slave King hold off the legions of dark forces led by the Destroyer, using the power of love, music, and excessive cannabis use to shield the allied forces until the rest of the reinforcements arrive to help force the errant souls back to Tartarus........  I think I need another joint after that one.....

#40 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1722410 Thank you for your comments gentlereader, Technically it's book two rather then chapter two. As a sneak peak there's currently five more chapters of action ready to go just waiting to be released. How do you think things might pan out?

#41 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1722588 Thank you for your comments gentlereader, the Slave king hates hippies and would probably cast them all into the Pit. Currently the hungry dead are restricted to the deep places in the Earth, tunnels, abandoned mines that sort of thing. But on occasion they come out seeking sweet pony flesh to much on. When they occurs either the order of the Lawgiver of the Shadow will take care of them with extreme prejudice. Usually through the power of excessive violence, and sharp pointy things. Currently the unmentionable one has little in Equestria beyond the power of suggestion.

#42 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

Well this was certantly an exciting read! I really enjoyed the story, keep it up!

#43 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1722748 Thank you for comments gentlereader, what part did you think was the most exciting?

#44 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1722765

Luna's chess game with the deer. That was a good bit of characterization right there.

I did notice a few places where commas could go, though.

#45 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1722800 yeah I always got issues with commas. Doesn't matter how many times I read it, I always miss some punctuation.

#46 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1722812

It's fine, it happens. tell you what, i can find the places where it needs them tomorrow. sound good?

I would offer to do it now, but i am rather pressed for time.

#47 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1722931 Sure thing, thanks for the offer.

#48 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1722940

No problem, i will get it done tomorrow afternoon.

#49 · Chapter 1 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

Well this is most interesting.  I have rapidly read much of the first story and it seems quite interesting.  The gods are often quite naive, but it is balanced by the fact that even the Slave King is being used by others who lurk in the shadows, guiding him to their ends while he remains unaware of their existence.  

And Tiroc... one of the Evil Ones.  Even the Vorpal Sword which could slay Discord and his Jabberwocky children cannot kill him.  He is in the ranks of Sutekh, the Destroyer, God of Lies, the Great Traitor, Lord of All Wickedness, the true name of the Devil.

My Mistress, great Sekhmet long battled against him before one of his tricks led her to go mad with bloodlust.  She has only just returned from 13,000 years of self-imposed exile, fragmented into a thousand pieces of her soul, inhabiting mortals in millions of lives over the space of her banishment, in penance for the innocents she slew along with the wicked in her rage when she utterly destroyed Atlantis for its blasphemy and inhuman experiments during the attempts of its nobles to become gods.

It had been Sutekh's goal all along, for he gave the Atlanteans the seeds of the knowledge, and it was also he who told the gods of the humans acts, though in secret through one of his agents so none would suspect him of involvement.  

My Lady of Slaughter discovered the truth through one of the mortal forms a fragment of her soul took hold of a mortal in another realm who served unwillingly one of the Dark Servants closest to Sutekh.  She knows not all his plans, but enough that she fears for the multiverse itself should they come to fruition.

(I'm mentioning all this because of how similar your story seems to be unfolding similarly to an idea for a massive story I've been poking around with linking an old concept of mine with Pony, except in mine Discord was the son of Sutekh and was the Dark Servant who let slip the truth to the mortal pony carrying a piece of Sekhmet's soul.  Anyway, it has this sort of setup, with every god being played against each other ever since Sutekh had been driven far into a Void and sealed.  Sekhmet, who has been slowly reconstituted through marriage of the bearers of her soul fragments, the offspring of such unions bearing the sum of the parents' fragments, at last becomes aware and in touch with enough of her power to begin opening doors between worlds, merging then the larger segments.  Hastily, she accelerates the mergers, as she fears little time remains.  It leads to something akin to these stories, where Sutekh has all the pieces in place and begins to enact his plan to overthrow the other gods, just as Sekhmet opens the door to Equestria and those two beings to bear one half each of her renewed soul meet.)

#50 · Chapter 3 · 86w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1723007 Thank you for your comments gentlereader, It appears you have the genesis of a novel there. Any plans to expand upon the idea? Regarding my Equestria pantheon, they aren't quite naive, it's just that they are the masters of their own domain but that mastery comes at a price. The plotters and schemers are quite clever but lack the power, while the more powerful of their number might be more susceptible to intrigue. The Slave King's prior alliance with Jormungandr, Strix, Lugh, and Loki was more an alliance of convenience. Now a days the Slave king likes to think himself above the other deities plotting and scheming, whether he is or isn't is up to you decide. If you haven't already, I suggest reading The Great Slave King it offers much insight into the inner workings of the pantheon and their dealings with the mortals. Once again thanks for commenting, until next time!

0 67055 451279
Login or register to comment