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Hi, my name is Ditzy Doo. Many of you know me as the author of the 'Wasteland Survival Guide'. For 200 years I wandered the Equestrian Wasteland, and through those experiences I gained the knowledge that I shared with everypony through the Guide. Now, it's time to tell my side of the story.
Well written FO:E side story with one of my favorite characters as the main character
and taking place in the early days of the wasteland. Sure, I'll read it.
So far the story is great, the flow is smooth, and I've only seen a couple of slip ups in the way of spelling and grammar. Ten Mihara, if you keep this up, you're fic is on the way to being on the same level as Project Horizons and Pinkeye. In other words, Five Stars all the way baby.
>>139729 Everything is going according to plan then (there's a plan? I just wanted to write stuff 
). Now all I need is a custom title page image thingy and I'll be set. Although I suppose that should wait until the third member of Ditzy's party joins up (hints for ch 7).
I would guess not; when Frost and his friends liberated Stalliongrad that was roughly 80 years before he told his story. If I'm remembering right, at this point in Ditzy's story that would be in another 30~40 years (my mental math could be off though)... Although since she's still around for FoE, I guess Ditzy could be there if she really wanted too.
Anyway great chapter as always. Makes me wonder though, will we hear about Bright later on in the story (if this a really dark story, I would guess Renewal would be shot down by the Enclave.)?
I was wondering cuz adder made mention that Frost did something bad to Ditzy. He doesn't say what Frost did or when it happened so it could be something he threw in there for the story.
And for now I'm holding some optimism for the Renewal so I say they get away.
Ya never mind something bad'll proly happen.
I feel really bad for Snips he was only trying to do what he was right, but like they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I have the wierdest feeling that Gnarl is somehow related to Gawd.
I do like Ditzy's new rifle it sounds like a fun upgrade!
Excellent chapter I really enjoyed the inclusion of snips even though he was insane I think it was a proper fate.
Keep up the excellent work Mihara!
I have no sympathy for Snips. Killing eight mares over some crazy obsession takes the right of sympathy away, even if he was insane and thought what he was doing was right.
Nah, you're timetable's not that far off. Gawdina wasn't exactly a young chick in the original, so Gnarl could very well be her pop. If not, then he's definitely her grandfather.
Well, I finally finished reading this. You know what that means right? Adder1(R) Unconsolidated Review Time, Go!
I've heard many good things about this story before deciding to read it for myself. And... I have to say that they're all very much founded. It's clear that a lot of work goes into every installment, from the small interludes to the bigger chapters. I didn't know what to expect when I started reading, and I was wholly blown out of the water and above the cloud cover. The single-word openings for every installment is an immediately recognizable homage to Fallout: Equestria and Project Horizons, and the level of detail and character development is simply astounding.
More on the detail, namely the atmosphere. We get to see the Fall of Equinekind from the day of the apocalypse. We get to see the birth of the Wasteland itself. The way you capture this is... simply spellbinding. I have no other suitable words for it. The description itself combined with the cruel, dramatic irony that we know only because of reading the original story just... I found myself taking a step back from the reading and thinking, "Wow... my goodness..." If anything you do best in the story, it's to capture the bleak, dreadful, empty, tainted atmosphere of the Wasteland. It is something that I think all authors of this vein of work strive and often fail to capture in their writing, myself included.
And then there's character development. I'll admit, I didn't know how anyone could pull of Ditzy Doo in the Equestrian Wasteland while still keeping that "fanon" personality of hers intact. While it's not quite what I imagined, you still do a fantastic job with developing her throughout the story. The same too can be said of all the mentioned characters, not just the main cast. Most characters with a name to the face often featured a certain depth to them. That includes Blinkie, Stronghoof, Gizmo his son, Gilda, Emerald- even Snips. Snips! This is yet another area I have to applaud you on, Ten.
I can already feel my focus slipping on this review, so I think I'll call it for now. You're doing great, Ten. Keep it up. This has been another Adder1(R) Unconsolidated Review Time.
Best wishes,
Adder1
Wow. Just wow. I must admit, I was not expecting a full, as you put it, unconsolidated review. Even more unexpected was the sheer amount of praise. I honestly don't feel worthy of it, but maybe that's just because you seemed to cast everything in a rather flattering light. I always strive to improve as I go, and it seems to be working =D
Also, just so I can put the speculation to rest, Gnarl Grimfeathers is intended to be Gawdyna's Great-Grandfather. Remember that there's still 122 years between his appearance and when Littlepip met Gawd herself. He also has the 'Skilled' Trait, which is why he's good at a little bit of everything.
Welp, read it through, and I've gotta say that it is one of the better stories I've read. There's not much I can say that hasn't already been said, so I'll just leave it at "great story, thank you for writing this, looking forward to more," and leave it at that.
Huh, considering how long I put off reading this from my favorites I'm surprised there aren't more comments...
Oh well.
I liked the little mystery, even though it was obvious to me that Apex was the one causing all the trouble from the moment I read that the town was empty. I was actually thinking that he had flat out murdered everypony at first though; It was only when they encountered the caged ponies being led to the megaspell detonation point that I realized what he was actually doing. The psychopath.
Looking forward to May's no doubt insane plan. Its to bad we already know that it will fail.
What time is it? Why, it's Adder1(R) Unconsolidated Review Time, that's what!
A certain quote from The Dark Knight comes to mind after reading this- "Either you die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." And ghouls live for a very long time. I had a nagging suspicion that Apex was up to no good with his ideology; I actually believed this to end up as another Arbu. What it all turned out to end it, though, was something that turned out all the more fitting and satisfying. I wish you could have explored the responses of the survivors of the Hovelhoof abduction, but I suppose this was satisfying enough for a chapter in any case. In the meantime, I'm seeing various signs of internal struggle among the group. Rottingtail started shared at least some aspects of Apex's views, while May is starting to turn into a downright radical right now. I'm eager to see where this is going, Ten.
Now for the naggy bits I saw...
-Between his arrival, my sharpshooting and he freshly reloaded gunner on the ground, we made short work of the remaining members of the swarm. [Should be "the freshly."]
-“Yeah well Ah'll drop muh guns when Ah'm good'n dead,” Rottingtail retorted without stepping back.\ [Might want to get rid of that slash]
-As much as there was a lot of animosity towards ghouls, there were still a lot of goof ponies out there who saw us as what we truly were: ponies like everyone else. [Should be "good."]
-Food and Water? [Unnecessary capitalization.]
-“What about yer ordinance?” [Should be "ordnance," if I'm not mistaken. There's a difference between the two.]
-I nodded firmly and slipped Stronghoof's legacy off my back, loading and priming it. ["legacy" should be capitalized, no?]
In addition to that, I noticed a lot of switching between past and present tense throughout the chapter. Just wish to bring that up.
Well, this has been another Adder1(R) Unconsolidated Review Time. Keep it up, Ten. This continues to be one of the best side-stories I've read.
Hmm, I wonder what would happen if the Fallout company made a game from the perspective of a Ghoul, Zombie, (whatever the terminology is) would be like. You get better regen, people would be more scared of you, but you can also go to radioactive places (watch out for lucidity though)
Seriously? Is there really no one within the ranks of the Steel Rangers that thinks they really shouldn't be killing off their own species for their own benefit? Granted, Gizmo had the bad luck to try to work with a rather paranoid group, but they really shouldn't just go on a hundred? year long rampage blowing everything to shit.
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