Triumph of King Sombra

Twilight Sparkle rode a train to Canterlot in silence. She was all alone in the train wagon; she had failed her most important test. Evil King Sombrero had won. Or maybe his name was different, it was not important now.. If only Princess Cadence hadn’t missed her target... but it was understandable. She, and Shining Armor had been extremely tired, and Twilight’s brother had never been that good at Throw-A-Fillyfriend contests that were regularly taking place in Canterlot. Truth to be told Twilight suspected that it had been one reason why Queen Chrysalis had helped her and had teleported her right to Cadence. Twilight could swear that changeling queen had been moving like she had some broken limbs. Besides that Twilight could have also asked Rainbow Dash for help to get the crystal heart. She would get to the chamber in ten seconds flat, and for sure would not step onto a floor. Celestia’s most faithful student, now regretted that she hadn’t taken class in organization in School for Gifted Unicorns. Self learned skills, might have been enough for Winter Wrap-Up, but they failed her in the most critical moment.

But it was not important now. Important was that Twilight had failed. It was not their mission - it was Twilight’s. She was the pony who had been supposed to rescue Crystal empire, and she had failed her mission. She had failed her test completely. Her despair had been enough to let her teleport outside King Sombras’ empire, but she was too drained to stand a chance against him. She had to come back to Canterlot to report back to Princess and seek help.

“Sister! Thou must go with me and rescue others from Crystal Empire!” said agitated Princess Luna to her sister.

“No, Luna,” replied celestial alicorn. “It’s Twilight test, we cannot do this. She has to be the one to defeat King Sombra, whose heart is black as night.”

“First of all, it’s thanks to all those poetic metaphors, that I snapped at you 1000 years ago. I’m working on report which clearly states that my night is clearly more safer than your day,” said Luna, and then continued.
“Secondly, Twilight has failed, and we have beaten him once before so why shouldn’t we do it again? We’re stronger than thousands years before, maybe this time we’ll do better.”

“No, Luna!”

“But aren’t Princess Cadence, the Elements of Harmony, and whole World in danger?”

“No, Luna!”

“But what if we...”

“No, Luna!”

Princess of The Night opened her mouth to express another argument, but she was interrupted again, by:
“No, Luna!”

Luna sighed heavily and said, “Fine, fuck it. At least I have more dialogue lines than in previous multi-part episodes.”

When she was leaving throne room, she met Twilight Sparkle returning defeated from her mission.
“Welcome back, Twilight Sparkle. Tia knows what have happened and is expecting you,” she said and went back to her bedroom.

Twilight Sparkle looked down at her hooves while she was hesitating whether she should have entered and face her mentor after her failed test, or should have she thrown everything away and start to live as a hermit. After all Star Swirl the Bearded had lived in cave for few years and during that time he learned many new spell by self-discovery. Another advantage of this was that she wouldn’t have to face Princess after humiliating defeat.
“No!” she threw that thoughts away, “I have to be brave, for Cadence, my brother and friends.”
And she opened the door.

“This is the worst! Possible! Thing!” Rarity was clearly unhappy about her current condition. Now, when King Sombra has won, he chained everypony again, and made them his slaves. Whole city was damaged, and covered in black crystals, and snow, since the snowstorm on the outside was dragged along with Evil Emperor.

“I’m tired of all this walking, these chains are completely out of fashion, and those...” she pointed her forehoof to black crystals on her horn, “does not match the color of my mane!” She stopped walking and sat on ground to cry.

“Oh give us a break, and get up. We have to keep moving,” said Rainbow Dash, who was chained in line, right after white unicorn.
“Not only you have enough of this, you drama queen,” she continued and pointed to her wings, which were unusable because of similar black crystals covering them.

“mphhhh pffff ffff pssfffff pphhhh!” Pinkie Pie wanted to add something from herself, but she was unable, because her mouth had been sealed shut, by similar crystals.

“Girls, I really don’t want to bother you,” quietly said Fluttershy, “but, don’t you find it strange that we’re only keep walking in circles, and this,” she make a break, to gulp and shiver a little, “evil emperor is only standing there and makes evil laugh from time to time?”

“Shy, you should known better, that that’s probably what evil ones are doing. Good can never comprehend evil,” replied Applejack.

“But it’s beginning to get cold, and he has been just standing there all the time. Isn’t he getting cold?” yellow pegasus asked and then added, “I swear I’ve heard him coughing a little during last hour.”

“And even if it’s true, then what you’re gonna do about it, huh?” asked rainbow maned pegasus.

Fluttershy didn't reply to that, but she simply changed direction of moving to the direction where King Sombra was standing dragging everypony else behind her.
All others, including crystal ponies and Shining Armor who was carrying his sleeping wife on his back, turned to the source of disruption in chain. They didn’t object though, because, everything is better than walking all day in circle.

Rainbow watched in disbelief how her shy friend was approaching, similarly surprised evil unicorn.

“Tell me she isn’t-”

“Hello mr. evil emperor,” started Fluttershy.

“She is.” Rarity replied to Rainbow.

“Aren’t you getting a little cold standing here all day? If you don’t mind couldn’t we just go inside to not to catch cold or something.”

“GROWL! HEHEHE! SLAVES! SNRK! WALKING! SNRK!” he screamed incoherently at Fluttershy.

Fluttershy moved back scared at first, but after a few second, she gathered her courage again. She wouldn’t be simply pushed backed by this. Those events with Iron Will had teach her, to be somewhat assertive.
“Mister Sombra, I understand that we are your slaves, but couldn’t we be your slaves somewhere where is warmer? Also why we are keep walking in circles. Please don’t be angry with me, but isn’t it a little... pointless?” Dozens of other ponies started grumbling that Fluttershy is right.

“Yeah,” said one of the crystal ponies, “should you have some evil mine where we would be forced to work. There would be at least a little warmer.”

“Or better,” added Rainbow Dash “you could make of us army of mindless drones, who would conquer all Equestria. That would be totally cool.” Many of other ponies were agreeing with her.

“You ruffians, don’t know anything about what true villains do. The real villain would choose most fragile and beautiful damsel of his slaves, lure her to his chamber, and then force her to-” Rarity paused in mid sentence when she noticed that everypony is looking at her with mixture of confusion and disgust.
“What?” she asked. “This is how it is described in my favorite novels.” Her confidence diminished even more when she saw completely heartbroken look at Spike’s face. His trip to teenage jock dragon colony has proven him, that he is almost completely stripped of dragon instincts. However one, the most primal, instinct had remained, and it was telling him that there is no worse humiliation than being replaced by B-class movie villain, by his love interest.

“As I was saying,” Fluttershy continued her speech, in order to break awkward silence, “why can’t we go somewhere inside, like your castle, and then be your slaves?”

“BURP! CAN'T! SNICKER! MWAHAHAHAHA! GO! GROOAAH! SNRK! CASTLE! HEHEHE!”

“But why can’t we go to your castle? You know, even if you don’t want us to go, you should do it. You really don’t look that good.”

“GROOAAH! GRAH! CAN’T!” said evil emperor, but his stern expression was cracking already, and tears started leaking from his eyes. “NOT BURP! GRAAAU! KNOW!“

“You don’t know how to get inside? But isn’t it you castle?”

“GRRRR! PARENTS! GROOAAH! SNICKER! ME! ROAR! HATE! GRRRR! GRUAU! SPEAKING! ROAR! GRRRR!”

“So your parents were the nobles of Crystal Empire, and wanted you to be death because you have difficulties in speaking.”

“HEHEHE! KILL! ROAR! DOOR! SNRK! ACCIDENT! GURGLE! BWAHAHA!”

“They want it to look like accident, so they ‘show’ you the way to that doors which were enhanced by black magic.”

“BURP! CURSE! GRUAU! FEAR! GROWL! GROOAAH! CHAIN! GURGLE!”

“And it cursed you to lose almost all of you speech, and to look like an evil wizard. And everyone was so afraid of you, that you have to chain them for their own good.”

“Hey!” Applejack whispered to others who have now surrounded talking pair, and were listening to them in quiet. “How does Fluttershy understand anything, from what he’s talking?”

“AJ, she’s taking care of animals, and evil rabbit,” replied Rainbow Dash, and added, “and I mean really evil rabbit, not ‘evil’ like that,” she pointed at Sombra. “She has practice in that.”

“Okay, mr. Sombra, I think I got it, but why did you curse all empire to disappear?”

“GRUAU! BANISH! SNRK! TEETH! GROWL! WRONG! HEHEHE! HUZZAH!”

“Oh so, you wanted to just ask, if you can take at least toothbrush to your banishment, but by accident it came as an ancient curse.”

King Sombra just nodded, and for another few seconds there was an awkward silence. Nopony expected this turn events.

“So what should we do know?” Rarity was first to break the silence.

“Maybe,” started Fluttershy, “if you let us to use the city’s library we can find a way to break a curse. But you have to unchain us in order to do this.”

“HEHEHE! SNICKER! SLAVES! GURGLE! ESCAPE! ROAR! BWAHAHA! ALONE! GRRRR!”

“But please mister Sombra. We promise that we’re not going to escape. We still have to break those black crystal anyway.” Fluttershy pointed to her disabled wings.

Others were also promising, that they would help him to get rid of curse. Pinkie even managed to recite pinkie promise in sign language. King Sombra was still hesitant, but just then snowstorm gained strenght, and new wave of shrill cold hit emperor, causing him to shiver and sneeze few times.

“MWAHAHAHAHA! PLEASE! BWAHAHA! ACHOO! BWAHAHA! DO! GURGLE! HUZZAH! ACHOO! GRUAU!” said King Sombra, and released all of ponies from their chains. And Rarity picked up spike, who was still lying in place. She really hurt him, and she felt obliged to convince him, that she didn’t mean anything like that.

“Thank you. Let’s head to the library,” said Fluttershy, and so they did.

Back in Canterlot Twilight was standing right before her mentor. She was struggling in her mind to find a way to break the news to the Princess.

“Princess, it’s simply because I’ve had a headache day before test, and couldn’t sleep well.” No, this won’t do, Celestia’s personal student should be always ready.
“It was not running away, just tactical retreat...”, “Grading rules were unclear...” No, she couldn’t say that. She was better than average lazy student. She took one deep breath and greeted her Mentor.

“Hello Princess Celestia.”

“Hello, Twilight I know about your failure,” well, problem solved - Twilight didn’t have to say, anything Princess already mentioned it first. It couldn’t go any better, “which caused massive amount of evil force spreading across Equestria, not to mention imprisonment of your brother, Princess Cadence, your friends and all ponies from Crystal Empire.” Okay... It could go better.

“I hope that you’re aware of consequences of your failure, Twilight Sparkle.” said princess. Her expression was completely cold and lacks any signs of compassion.

“This is it,” thought Twilight, “she’s going to send me back to magic kindergarten. Or because, I’ve betrayed trust of Equestria, she’s going to send me to the prison. Or to the moon. Or to the prison on the moon. Or would she just erase me here right here right now?” Twilight was sure, that with each second the walls were getting closer and closer. She briefly considered teleporting away, but there was no sense in it. Princess would easily caught her. No! If she was going to die here today, she’s going to die with dignity.

“There is only one thing that can be done now,” said Princess and waited few second, so the words would sink in Twilight’s mind. Then she continued, “You have to take the exam in second term.”

“But, Princess! I had a headache day before exam, and grading rules were unclear and...” Twilight stopped losing last bits of her pride due to panic attack, when she realized what Princess had said.
“Wait... what?”

“Yes Twilight, you have to try again to pass this exam, and if you failed, then you’re going to pay... fee for repeating the class.”

“But... but...” Twilight was too confused to make any coherent sentence.

“No Twilight, I can’t make any exception for you, because you’re my personal student and one of the Elements of Harmony. This school have reputation, I have to maintain, and you need to pass this exam before you can take pre sending to the moon.” Celestia said sternly. She had been already accused of nepotism few times, and she couldn’t afford to make her school look bad.

“But it’s not about that. What about Crystal Empire?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that Twilight. We’re going to prepare Platinum Empire just for your second term. And if it won’t work we always have Emerald Empire, Gold Empire, Fire Red Empire... We thought about everything, so you don’t have to worry about it. It’s all in your fee.”

“Princess, but you’ve said that if Sombra will conquer Empire, than hope and love would not be reflected along all Equestria. What about that.”

“Don’t worry Twilight. We’re safe. As always, it’s the lower class who will take the impact. Besides, those black crystals, are rare and lovely. Our school needed to be redecorated for a long time.”

“But Princess, what about Princess Cadence-”

“Oh, that stupid cunt,” Princess broke Twilight in mid-sentence. “Don’t worry she’s not going to return.” When Princess saw shocked look on her student’s face she continued, “That mongrel was never part of our royal family. She was supposed to be an unicorn, but due to rare genetic condition, she grew a part of wings.” Princess paused and look through the window to her garden full of pony statues. “In the past we had very good way to rid of that abominations, but recently that whole pony rights movement have become strong, and we had to dismiss our good practices, and become more sneaky.”

“Princess, but how can you say such things about Cadence. You always seemed to like her.”

“Twilight, I expected better from you. Did you really think that I was defeated by power of love during her wedding?” she asked her student. “Of course not. I was expecting, that bug queen will do her job correctly. So did Luna, and she didn’t come to help. Unfortunately if you want to have something done, then you have to do this yourself.”

Twilight was having difficult time to grasp whole situation. It was not possible, that Princess would say such a things, about her babysitter. Cadence didn’t deserve this. Well, there had been one time when her babysitter had punished her for something Twilight hadn’t done, but it didn’t change anything right? No! It must have been a part of test. Of course! Why Twilight hadn’t thought of this before, Princess was just testing her. So Twilight calmed down, and asked princess another thing.

“I understand Princess, but what about my brother. We can’t abandon him, captain of our guard.”

Princess Celestia sighed. “Yes, I’m also depressed about loss of such a fine soldier, but he was just so clueless. From the beginning I gave him subtle hints, that he should break up with that Cadence, but no. I’ve even suggested to him, after all this mess that he could say, that he had never loved her and it was all just effect of Chrysalis’ mind control. I even offered him, to find him a new spouse of one of the Elements of Harmony; I’m sure that this dressmaker friend of yours wouldn’t refuse to captain of guard. But no! He refused.” Celestia groaned, and then she said, “Well, he was never the sharpest knife in the drawer, that’s why he wasn’t my most faithful student.”

Twilight was calm. It was just a test after all... or maybe her tutor was right? Maybe Cadence had been indeed the reason why her brother was now taken away from her. When she was still a little filly she at least once saw, that her babysitter dragged her brother to his room, while trying to make sure, that Twilight wouldn’t see her. She failed in that, but because she locked room Twilight could only listen. She heard a lot of moans coming from her brother, and several minutes later, he came of the room completely drained. At that time Twilight was to scared to ask about anything, but she swore to herself to learn about what happened from only source of information, that could be trusted - books. She had planned to learn about it, just after finishing her studies of old Nightmare Moon legend, but then her life had drastically changed and in all that confusion she’d forgot about it. Now, however, she was sure, she knew the truth - Princess Cadence was a vampony! It was good to know that her mentor had known this all along, and managed to save her before she would share the fate of her brother.

But one question was still unanswered.

“You’re right, Princess, but what about my friends?”

“Have you found anything?” asked Fluttershy. They have been searching library for few hours. Unfortunately crystal ponies were still under amnesia, so they didn’t remember anything, and couldn’t really help them much.

“Nothing yet,” said Spike, who was now in better shape, but still looked more down than usual.

“Didn’t have any luck either,” said Rarity while searching through another dozen of books.

“HUZZAH! NEIGH!” King Sombra was also unsuccessful.

“Hey guys, do you know that they have that limited edition of Daring Do comics?” asked Rainbow Dash, only to be met by disapproving looks of everypony else. “I mean... I’ve got nothing too,” she corrected herself.

“It’s useless, searching this library will take days, and we don’t even know if book we want is in there,” said Rarity.

“PFFFF! MPFFF! PFFFF!” Everypony turned to Pinkie who had a book Door Curses Or How To Get Rid Of Unwanted Visitor (And Wanted Also) on her back.

“Pinkie, how did you find that book so quickly?” asked Fluttershy.

“It was under ‘D’, silly!” Pinkie replied using morse code.

“May I?” said Rarity, and took book from Pinkie. After few minutes of reading, she closed a book and said, “I think I’ve got it,” everypony perked up hearing this, “but it’s more serious thing than before; just making a fair won’t do, we need to take more radical measures. We need to... make a barbecue.”

And so few hours later, elements of harmony, and all crystal ponies were making a huge barbecue party. There were many bonfires placed in circle to keep place relatively warm, despite huge snowstorm, which was still taking place.

At the center of the area, where previously fair had been taking a place, were situated several grills. Besides them was King Sombra, who was now dressed in cooking hat, and white apron with “Darkness Chef” caption on it. He was making sure that all hayburgers, haydogs, and skewers with hay, would be made just perfect. On his left side was Applejack’s and Pinkie’s stand with apple juice, and all possible apple confections. Next to this Fluttershy, with help of Rainbow Dash was grilling all types of vegetables. Zucchini, eggplant, potatoes... everything was eaten by crystal ponies. Everypony was having a great time, so it was not unexpected that soon one of crystal ponies flashed back to his not cursed form and said, “I remember now - it wasn’t anypony from here who installed those damned doors. She was traveller from Equestria!”

Seconds later, there was another flash, and another purified crystal pony said, “You’re right, and I remember that I saw, that she lost one white feather, while going to castle.”

“Yeah, and I remember that she used her horn at least once,” said another citizen.

“Guys, I remember now! We’re all taking part in crappy season of some cartoon!”

Soon whole place became illuminated by another flashes. The biggest one was coming from crystal heart, which was now pulsating, with bright light, as more and more ponies became purified, and gave it their energy. After few minutes its energy reached critical level and it discharged covering all Crystal Empire in blinding light.

After few minutes, everypony could finally see again, and Applejack asked, “Did it work?”

“I think so,” replied Fluttershy, “look at the sky.” All clouds and snow were gone, and was replaced by sunny weather.

“Oh yeah!” shouted Rainbow Dash, when she made a few loops in sky, thanks to her, now fully functionable wings.

“I can speak!” cried Pinkie. “You know what that calls for?”

“Hold your humans Pinkie, what about King Sombra?” asked Applejack, and everypony looked at the place where Emperor had been. Now in the same place a grey unicorn was standing. He had black hair, and beautiful emerald eyes covered by his small glasses. His frame wasn’t that tough as it was before, in fact it was smaller than average stallion making him a little girly. All stares he was getting, was apparently making him very uncomfortable, because, he blushed, look down at his hooves, and said. “H-Hi... I-I-I’m r-r-real-ly sorry, f-for a-all of this.” His speech was still not perfect, but it could be understood now. “S-so... I guess, n-n-now you’re g-g-going to punish me?” he continued, and retract even, more, like he would like to disappear. He was doing everything in such a cute way,, that if there was international unit for adorableness, he would get 0.95 Fluttershy.

Looking, at current events, Spike thought, that it was good moment, to set his record straight with Rarity.

“Rarity, I’m sorry that I’ve thought such a things of you back then, I should have known better than-” He was silenced by Rarity’s hoof coming to his mouth. Rarity looked at him, and then she pushed him away, and quickly galloped to Sombra.

“Darling. Of course, we couldn’t blame you for things, you haven’t control on. We forgave Princess Luna, we can forgive you. Now please allow me to make you new comfortable clothes instead those old rags, you were wearing.”

“I-I... don’t k-know...”

“Please don’t be shy Darling, I couldn’t be the element of generosity if I didn’t help pony in need...”

And so, everything was coming back to normal in Crystal Empire, and everypony was happy. Well, besides Spike, who committed suicide two days later, but he always was a party pooper.

“Twilight, you’re smart filly, and I thought that you’ve already figured it out.” Celestia was a little disappointed on her student. “I’ve let you stay in Ponyville, so you could learn something about friendship. You see,” Princess Celestia pointed to several stained glasses around them, “elements of harmony can defeat my jealous sister, or that old trickster goat, but they simply can’t do anything good when fighting any more serious enemy,” she said, and again looked at her student. “You must simply know, when to let go the past, and move on. Even the Pony Rangers changed their morphers in third season.”

“But Princess they are my friends, I can’t just leave them there!”

“Twilight, I’ve always thought that they had bad influence on you. Just look at them.

“Pink pony on cocaine, who stole my cupcake. There is investigation about missing ponies, who had refused to be her friend. In few weeks there will be warrant to search basement, where she lives.

“Arrogant rainbow-maned speedster, whose speeding records had to be paid by me, or else I would have scandal after imprisoning element of harmony.

“Pegasus who is afraid to fly, and steals my animals, and does Discord-knows-what to them in her shed.

“Drama queen which not only treats her little sister miserably, but also my nephew. Yes, he deserves all of this, but only I can make his life a hell.

“And finally apple redneck, who is too busy to notice that her little sister is constantly bullied. I wouldn’t be surprised if she wouldn’t care much if her sister would try to throw somepony off the cliff. Also, I’ve always like pears better.”

Princess stopped to take breath after her monologue. Twilight was conflicted inside. On the one hoof it was against everything she had learned up to now. On the other hoof, maybe Princess Celestia knew better. After all, she had correctly guessed sinister motives of her babysitter. Besides many times in Twilight’s educations, she had passed through this type of moments. Like on math, when after introduction of real numbers, integers suddenly, despite what was said previously, could be divided by each other.

Still, something felt wrong to Twilight about recent situation.

“Therefore,” Princess Celestia broke Twilight’s train of thoughts “I’ve decided that it’s high time to introduce new, better friends to you,” she said and 6 new characters entered the room.

“Meet Pear Pressure.” She pointed, to athletic female earth pony, with body colored on green-yellow color, and with pressed pears as a cutie mark. “She’s from Stalliongrad, and there they have rodeos with bears. And even when she was sick, she always have got first place in those tournaments.” Princess Celestia levitated a necklace to her. “She will become the Element of Earth, and will be placed as a leader of team, which will prune all those apple trees from Sweet Apple Acres, and place some better fruits there.”

“Dark Storm.” He was a black and red unicorn with bat wings, and dragon, yellow, eyes. “He is top ace flyer in equestria, mostly known for performing Triple Sonic-Mega-Rainboom. This trick was enough to create water tornadoes for half of Equestria. He refused to join the Wonderbolts, because he didn’t like their rules, even though they have beg him on their knees. Thrice. He will be the Element of Wind.” Princess Celestia said, and gave him his necklace.

“Diamond Eyes.” This time female unicorn has stepped up. “ She is the most beautiful unicorn in the world. She won the first beauty contest, when she was still in her mother’s womb, and currently is the most popular model, not only in Equestria, but also for all foreign species. She will be the Element of Water.” Necklace she was given was the most beautiful of everything Twilight has ever seen. “She is also a generous pony, who spends all her time, helping several orphanages. She have even adopted eight foals, and all other fillies and colts are jealous of their mother.”

“Jungle Queen.” This one was dark green earth pony, and dangerous look in her scarlet eyes. “She was abandoned by her parents in Everfree Forest and spend there almost all her life being raised by manticore and timberwolf. She can understand all animals, and make them do anything she want. She is also a pacifist, but she will beat to unconscious anypony who will mistreat her friends. She is the Element of Fire.”

“Wimp.” Princess Celestia pointed to small, black unicorn, who sits at the corner of room, with his eye covered by his violet mane. “He used to be bipedal creature from another world where he was sick of his life, but he was transformed into a pony, and now he cuts himself here.” She levitated another necklace to him. This had sharper edges, than others. “He will be the element of heart, because nopony else wanted it.”

“And finally, you need a new fax machine.” Princess pointed to purple dragon, who was looking similar to Spike, but was bigger, so he was about same size as pony. “This model is already castrated, so it wouldn’t want to hump any of other elements, and it’s bigger, so it can be useful in fight.”

“Princess, I really appreciate all of this, but I still-”

“Shush Twilight.” Princess Celestia stopped her. “I still haven’t told you about your upcoming exam.” She stepped closer to her student and said in husky voice, “Do you know that library in Platinum Empire is five times larger than in Crystal?”

“W-what?” stammered Twilight. It was difficult to her to even grasp how large this library would be, also either her senses failed her, or suddenly air around her started to feel hotter.

“That’s right Twilight. It has more books than any other library in Equestria. Every category you can think of, had to be broken there into subcategories, and then those subcategories splitted again, and again, and again...”

Now Twilight was sure, that it was indeed getting, hotter and hotter here, especially in one certain place in her body.

“This library,” continued Celestia, “is so big, that it even has books, only about books that are there.”

Twilight was now sweating and salivating. She was stepping uncomfortably from hoof to hoof, because heat between her legs, was unbearable at this point. But still some thoughts nagged her in back of her head. What about her friends?

Princess Celestia was completely unfazed by this, and continued, “The library has all books written by most knowledgeable ponies that ever lived. It has all books written by Star Swirl the Bearded...” Celestia pause, for a while, to look at her student, who looked, like she was about to explode, and after a few seconds of waiting she finally continued “...including his first one, with his personal autograph.”

Then Twilight came. After few minutes of resting, her mind was finally clear, and she declared, “I shall be ready to exam in no time.” She turned to her new friends. “Come on we have an empire to save!” she said and they went to Ponyville. They had only few month, to get ready, but with friends like that, there was no chance to fail.

“Are they gone?” asked mysterious voice.

“Yes, you can come out my dear,” replied Princess, and The Great and Powerful Trixie came out from behind of princess’ throne.

“You remember the deal?” asked Trixie.

“How could I forget. Three weeks from now Twilight will be banished, my new most faithful student. And do you remember your part of the deal?”

“Yes, but Trixie still thinks that black cape sucks. But if it’s necessary then The Great and Powerful Trixie will do this. Nothing can stopped Trixie from revenge!” Trixie said and started laughing evilly. Princess Celestia eagerly joined to her. Her new student deserved this moment of triumph. After all she also was going to be replaced soon, because blue fur really wouldn’t match new design of throne room.

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Xexilf

Xexilf #1 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

This... this sucks.
Parody is one thing. Hatefics are something i can understand, and they can even be good. But this... sucks.

anomaly

anomaly #2 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

1707512
Well, "this sucks" is not the most helpful opinion, but nevertheless thanks for first comment.
I guess I'm about to get siderodromophobia.

HyperRandomness

HyperRandomness #3 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

Okay, so I can see immediately that there's a King ~~Sombrero~~ Sombra joke. In the image.
Oh, this should be good.

Engage ACTIVE REVIEW!

'Evil King ~~Solstice~~ Sombrero had won.' How is she still alive? Wouldn't she have been trapped or killed or something?

Slight excessive/misuse of commas here.

She (remove comma) and Shining

faithful student (remove comma) now regretted

Other grammatical stuff, too.

important now. (What was) Important was that

pony who (remove 'had been,' insert 'was') supposed to rescue

Oh, now I see. She teleported out. That sorta still makes no sense, considering she tried to do that and her spell backfired due to ~~Somnia's~~ Sombra's crystals... or something along those lines.

report back to Princess and seek

Which Princess?

and rescue (the) others from (the) Crystal

“It’s Twilight('s) test, we cannot

Okay, this is really sounding like an okay story so far. The only big problem I'm seeing right now (aside from Twilight suddenly being able to teleport away) is that you need an editor. Little mistakes like this can ruin a good story and its immersion.

those poetic metaphors (remove comma) that I snapped

Are you reading these things aloud? Seriously, read them out loud and put little breaks where the commas are. Commas indicate small breaks and should be placed accordingly. If the breaks make no sense, then remove the commas.

stronger than thousands years before,

I thought it was just ONE thousand.

and (the) whole World in

“First of all, it’s thanks to all those poetic metaphors, that I snapped at you 1000 years ago. I’m working on report which clearly states that my night is clearly more safer than your day,”

Fine, fuck it. At least I have more dialogue lines than in previous multi-part episodes.”

static.portent.com/images/2012/05/wait-what-dog.jpg
Excuse me? Did Princess Luna just swear?
That's pretty darn OOC, if you ask me.
Also, where did her speech pattern go? Between two sentences, she has suddenly taken on a modern style of speech.
How about NO.
Also, fourth wall.
Pinkie is pretty much the only one that the fandom allows to break it. Limit that.

After all(, insert comma) Star Swirl the Bearded

You seriously need an editor. You really do. I can't keep reading.

That is all.

anomaly

anomaly #4 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

1707550
@commas
Yeah... the problem is that I'm not native speaker, and in my country rules about commas are different. I thought it wouldn't be that bad, to make it unreadable, but I guess I was wrong. From now on I will surely get an editor.

@Twilight escaping
Key words are "Her despair had been enough" she saw that King Sombra has won, and she knew that she has to escape from her prison, or everypony will be dead for sure. People were able to open locked car doors by bare hands when someone's life was threatened, Twilight has her enraged fire form, when she is mad. I don't see a reason, why one uncontrolled powerful magic burst couldn't help her in such situation.

@Luna
Well, she's not talking in old style because at this point she doesn't give a damn anymore.
Seriously though it has random tag, so I won't see a reason why only Pinkie could make 4 wall jokes. It's supposed to be more random, then normal.

HyperRandomness

HyperRandomness #5 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

1707614
Hm. Point taken.
I guess people can do pretty crazy things under the right stress.

I guess it'd make sense if Luna just dropped the style. It's not like anyone was speaking it anyhow.
Plus, yeah, random. I shoulda made note of that.

Quick note: if you need an editor, I'm available for that on the weekends.

Regidar

Regidar #6 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

DAT SOMBRERO

EliSka

EliSka #7 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

Ok... I have to agree with 1707512... I wouldn't go as far as to say it just plainly sucks, but hatefics really don't serve any purpose.
Sorry, but why do you even watch the show?
And "may contain some butthurt about crappy 3 season"? Really? After what... 3 episodes you just declare season 3 crappy?
Sure, compared to all other vilains Sombra wasn't great, but he was NOT the main focus of the episode. Why don't ppl get that?

Xexilf

Xexilf #8 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

1707884
Normally i wouldnt just say something sucks, but here there wasnt much else to say. It wasnt even entertainingly bad, or had one seriously hideous downside in an otherwise mediocre work, it was just everything of it was bad and boring, not even negative highlights.

I wouldnt even be so generaly say hatefics dont serve any purpose, even a hatefic can be done entertainingly (although it admittedly is rare)
but this was... not.

Just Some Random Guy

Just Some Random Guy #9 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

1707884
*cough* 4 episodes *cough*

anomaly

anomaly #10 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

1707884

Well firstly. I don't say that this season is worst than anything. Maybe I should skip this part in description, but I'm saying that, in my opinion, for now this season is nothing else, but disappointment. Still I think, that it is at least as good, as an average cartoon, but the thing is that from this show I expected more. You like it, it's great, but you've been warned that I don't.

Secondly, although I said and it is inspired by hate, it isn't meant to be just hatefic/trollfic. I've even gave it to read, to person, who doesn't say that this season sucks, and he didn't told be that it's just a butthurt, and he actually liked it. (Or he was just trolling me.) He is also non native speaker, so he couldn't help me with grammar that much.
Please, don't tell me that you thought that I've actually thought, that new team is better than old, or something.

Finally. I really don't like this season so far, because:
Episode 1-2:
Rainbow Dash is a bitch to Fluttershy.
Twilight and Celestia are treating everything like it's a test. You know, if lives of all nation, and Captain of Guard, and princess would depend of it, I wouldn't take it as a test, but I would send army, and both other princesses. Sure, they cannot fight Sombra (still I don't get why Princess Celestia/Luna can't, but let's say it's okay), but they can at least help looking for a clues, or give some refreshing spells to Cadence, so she wouldn't lose her powers so quickly.
And there are many more things, that are wrong with these episodes. I've parodied some of them in this fic. Sure, a lot of them are small things
Of course, that not every thing was bad - scene when Twilight comforts Spike, that she would never get rid of him is great. But it's only cherry on a pile of shit.
Episode 3:
For me it was the best episode this far. Scene with Pinkie Pie quietly jumping to water was brilliant. But still, it's the same writer, who wrote Feeling Pinkie Keen. He sure, likes Pinkie Pie, and he surely thinks that Twilight is an idiot. Come on, shooting (probably) false Pinkie to oblivion because, she was scared when other sneezed aloud? She sure was concerned about not getting false positives. Not. Actually, judging by her bad jokes in next episode I'm pretty sure, that they've sent away real Pinkie. if that's the case, then maybe it won't suck that much.
Episode 4:
Oh, boy. Barbs Seed. Filly who was bullied, but that expressed only but one sentence which Applejack said. Also Cutie Mark Crusaders, who wanted to throw her off the cliff, and Applejack who really does take all of this lightly. Yeah...
I wouldn't mind this that much if creators would post stupid things, about how proud they are, that they've touched topic of bullying.
Episode 5 preview and premise:
Twilight is banished from Ponyville.
...
Is Twilight really that stupid? Is Ponyville really that stupid? And why black cloak? And is Trixie being reduced to stupid villain/Sombra's puppet.
My headcanon cries.

Who knows, maybe I'm wrong, and from this point season would be great, but for now I don't like it.

EliSka

EliSka #11 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

1708090
Love it how most people have stopped watching the episodes for the sake of a nice cartoon and now just looks for things to hate on... How about you look at the good things instead?
1+2
RD and Flutters: say what you want, but that is class A shipping material Apart from that, Dash maybe just wants Fluttershy to stand up for herself.
Celestia: Duh... It IS a test. She trust in Twilight, and obviously there's more coming for Twi in that sort of test. As in preparation for future episodes.
Sombra: Yeah, yeah i get it. 1/10 on the Discord scale. Still, as said the episode focuses on Twilight's fight (mostly with herself).
3
Does the writer really matter?
The idea of letting paint dry isn't my kinda idea of how to get the real Pinkie either. Still, i like the episode for the comedy.
4
This is an episode on bullying. If you have never been bullied, you might not understand how big of a thing that is. I'm from a country with one of the highest suicide rate, and many of them are caused by bullying. While I don't really like the song that much, I think it's a good episode. And Pinkie Pun wasn't THAT bad.
5
srly? You judge an episode before you have seen it? Sorry but it's clear you're already biased for the future episodes.
That being said... "thanks for the spoilers"... I try to stay away from them.

All in all this season has just started. And while it has been the weakest season start in MLP:FIM yet, it has a lot of room for potential. I for my part am gonna wait and see.

anomaly

anomaly #12 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

1708427
Oh boy...

Love it how most people have stopped watching the episodes for the sake of a nice cartoon and now just looks for things to hate on... How about you look at the good things instead?

I knew mentioning parts I liked in episodes 3 and 1-2 was bad idea. It totally ruins your strawman.

RD and Flutters: say what you want, but that is class A shipping material
wait... let me get this straight... Rainbow Dash abusing Fluttershy is class A shipping material?
Okay... *backs away slowly*

Celestia: Duh... It IS a test.
Yeah, and life of hundreds of crystal ponies is worth nothing more, than a grade to Twilight. Great moral.

Sombra: Yeah, yeah i get it. 1/10 on the Discord scale. Still, as said the episode focuses on Twilight's fight (mostly with herself).
And guess what? I know it's not about Sombra! You don't have to repeat it two times. You know, even this fic is mainly focused on Twilight.

3
Does the writer really matter?
The idea of letting paint dry isn't my kinda idea of how to get the real Pinkie either. Still, i like the episode for the comedy.
Yes if he/she repeats the same stupid things over and over, than it matter. Also, if writer doesn't matter, let's make Uwe Boll produce this show from now on. Also as I said, I think this was best episode so far.

4
This is an episode on bullying. If you have never been bullied, you might not understand how big of a thing that is.
Whew, good thing to know, that I was never bullied. After all it were just false memories.
You know I really would like to see episode(s) about bullying. I would even like to make it three parter instead of having Crystal Empire. Bullying is more important issue to kids - target of this show, then some evil villain.
Problem is, that while idea can be good, realization is bad. Showing that CMC would not told anypony because they would be squealers or something is bad. Reducing all idea that Babs Seed was bullied to one sentence from Applejack is bad.

You know what... screw this. I'm not going to persuade you anyway. Sorry but I'm begging to think that you labeled me hater already, and you didn't even read my comment. You like the show? Great. I don't like it for now.

Oh and:
That being said... "thanks for the spoilers"... I try to stay away from them.
When I want to avoid spoilers I'm adding fimfiction, ED and other pony sites to leechblock. Try it.

EliSka

EliSka #13 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

1708590

This is pointless. We're stuck in a confirmation bias. Neither of us is gonna take what the other said serious since we both have our opinion set.
And that's good, actually. I think everyone should have his/her own opinion. So let's preach the mlp ways and stop fighting.
I had a run in with jehovah's witnesses today, and I have enough of people who stay firm on their views anyways, for the rest of the year.
So I to end it on a good note: I have learned today that I should not read/click on something which is obviously a Toll/hatefic if I know it's gonna annoy me. I hope you use your writing skills for a story even I will enjoy the next time and wish you a good night.

Gherkin

Gherkin #14 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

1708590

wait... let me get this straight... Rainbow Dash abusing Fluttershy is class A shipping material?
Okay... *backs away slowly*

You'd be surprised. This was in the feature box a few weeks back.

anomaly

anomaly #15 · Nov 29th, 2012 · · ·

1708827
It's clopfic not shipfic. I'm completely OK with these theme as a clopfic (I even have it in my faves), but if there would be serious shipfic based on this theme, or another toxic relationship it will make me shudder. Like this.

Heartless