- Member Since 15th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen Dec 17th, 2022
Neon Czolgosz
"Violence for violence is the rule of beasts" - Barack Obama
Neon Czolgosz
Joined 15th Dec, 2011 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- ShamefulHorsefucker · 5.5k words · 390 26 · 15k views
- Neon Czolgosz · 8.7k words · 321 27 · 8.5k views
- Daharispilton · 11k words · 257 26 · 12k views
- Neon Czolgosz · 5.6k words · 284 18 · 6k views
- That_One_Brony · 21k words · 234 26 · 9.4k views
- Bandy · 6.1k words · 274 30 · 11k views
- Serina · 6.6k words · 181 24 · 5.7k views
- doctor dapples · 3.2k words · 269 22 · 8.2k views
Featured In15
Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,812 members
Rule 631,248 stories ·3,993 members
M/M Shipping1,286 stories ·2,805 members
RariJack537 stories ·1,941 members
The Properly Organized Rarijack Group383 stories ·778 members
My Little Fetish16,594 stories ·8,566 members
Equestria After Dark511 stories ·2,102 members
The Coltcuddlers1,174 stories ·2,212 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.036 seconds
Total duration
1,067 users online
1,811,946 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Queerosexuals? That's a keeper. Also the way you twist words is once again magnificent to behold.
First thoughts.
Role reversal! Never could have thought of AJ as the bottom. Quite refreshing though. Also points for not going with the cliché AJ/RB. I'm not really a big fan of R63, but sometimes it seems to work, like here.
You keep repeating how strong the unicorn is. Wouldn't once have been enough? He's strong, and He's also strong! What a shocker!
Do your ponies have other parts to their private anatomy except flanks and buttholes? Where are the buttocks? The thought of Elusive jumping to the side like an action hero from a John Woo flick, emptying his load midair to reach the flanks/Cutie Mark was kinda funny.. Observe., the hindquarters of a pony. Why not cream the tail? The back?
How is it possible for the ponies to perform anal sex with no preparation? Just saying "lube" doesn't mean it would be fun or even enjoyable, unless AJ would have been practicing with some unfortunate fruit. I don't think he has. I know, I know; suspension of disbelief and stuff. TBH, the portrayal you gave in that other first time buttsex story with Lickety and Rumble was far more enthralling, save for a few even a bit too graphic and realistic descriptions... (sewage cannon. OH MY GOD the sewage cannon). This was clearly a fantasy clop, not meant to be realistic, but that feeling didn't carry from the start to the finish. Maybe it was because your descriptions were so hasty. Well, not hasty, but the acts themselves seemed to be very short compared to the other events. I could FEEL Elusive spending several hours with his morning chores, But she fucked AJ silly in less than 5 minutes. Maybe if you gave a bit more description on the clope, some more meat on the bones as it were, the story would benefit.
TL:DR: Good, but could have been better, now it felt like an exercise in writing clop for the sake of clop, with no ambition. Not the usual Chuck I've come to know and lurv.
I crame.
1698655
That was quick.
OP:
Have not read, but I approve the concept. It is in my to-read list.
is on my read later list
1698655
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/30612850.jpg
do you live on fimfictions?
EDIT:
i like
1698676
btw love that avatar
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2010/12/4/2eca8d60-7d57-4acd-a192-beb501206446.jpg
1698655
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw8490_small.jpg
I shall see if this is good or not at a later point.
1698717
OP:
It might have been a bit out of character for the two near the middle, BUT...
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/157/158/Clop%20clop%20Twilight%202.jpg?1312254457
1698902
i feel like that pic is also made for me
1698911
You should read my 'Pleasure' fic. Highly rated.
1698933
*added to "to read" list*
Hmm, decent clop story you got here. Rarity/AJ was never something I shipped, but since it was Elusive/AJ, good job on ya for making enjoy this pair. I liked the visual descriptors you had going on here, and the clop was...well clop, very nice.
If I were to gripe at ya, it would be the turnabouts Elusive and especially AJ make during the course of the story, Not so much with Elusive, since there many ways to portray the high-maintenance male character but I would have guessed he would be a little less physically forward with AJ, since I guess I would just assume he more likely outwit than overpower. But then that falls over into how AJ, makes a turnabout with his character.
It's just I've read a lot of "straight guy is closeted gay slut" stories, and I guess this is more of a personal gripe with the trope rather than your writing. AJ goes on a bit of a homophobic rant, then 5 minutes later he's taking it up the butt? I guess the transition is just really jarring. I'm figuring that this AJ is based on another fic's AJ (the Dusk Shine/ Rainbow Blitz one), and while it took him several months to get over it, it feels weird to see him change so readily, and be a bottom both ways also. Guess I was just disappointed that AJ didn't actually throw up and punch Elusive when he started to give him a blow job, then storming out with tears in his eyes.
Though, overall good read. Short, got to the point, not too many frills, and delivered what it promised.
assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/riker.gif
This is quite good
We need MOAR rule 63. Also, Elusive's morning ritual remind me of Bateman from American psycho. Coincidence?
1700029
Not at all a coincidence. It's taken nearly word-for-word from the script. Applejack cuts him off just as he's about to go into the 'I simply am not there' bit.
1700035
Using quotes from American Psycho. I fucking love you.
You need to write either a sequel or second chapter to reveal if/what the dress he makes for AJ looks like and have them use it, make this a series i'd read it. <3
After that third paragraph I was surprised this didn't end with axe murder - although, after that watersports fic and the sewage cannon, I would not have blinked if it had.
For some reasons I initially thought that Elusive would be under and Applejack above.
Glad to see it works greatly nonetheless.
Very nice, I liked it.
I particularly enjoyed AJ's submissiveness. I'm a real sucker for that.
Nice.
damn all these m/m fics to hell! why are they so hawt? ah well, that's the good thing about being bi m/m, m/f, f/f 's all good
1701321
How right you are :3
I'm straight, and this was well written. Good for you. You get a thumbs up.
This is glorious
I love you, Chuck.
Queerosexuals??? Seems legit.
Hot!
thumbs up!
Beautiful and sexy!
Overall pretty darn good as usual, Chuck! A little shorter than I would have liked; more detail and interaction would have been lovely; still a hot little number though.
I have but two things to say:
1. Soprano as r63 sweetie belle... I like it, well done.
2. I DEMAND A SEQUEL! You really are good at this and I would love to see this story continued.
For Great Justice!
Nicely written
I came so hard my balls hurt and I needed a paper towel to clean up
Well, despite that you messed a few of the names up for R63 versions of canon ponies... this was rather nice and steamy, I liked it! Definitely have to check out more of your work; I might do that now in fact (like the aged-up Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara had on Read It Later for a bit, same with Rumble Splits Lickety, even though this helped with a certain matter beforehand
).
1738512
The only R63 name I changed from usual was Silver Bell/Sweepy Bell to Soprano, and I think that was a good decision, because Sweepy Bell sounds fucking stupid. Glad you generally liked it, I'd love to see what you think of my other fics.
1738609
Also not sure of Shining Armor's R63 you gave him, even though I looked it up sometime recently.
Well, I can't exactly argue with you there, but you also left Caramel's name when supposedly, his R63 name is Toffee and not one of the few (if Applejack isn't the only one, I think) canon ponies to have same name in either universe. Granted, I didn't point that out, but didn't think I needed to until now.
And reading the one now that's supposedly set also in Pipsqueak's Day Off universe (Winter Warmth), which I haven't read and not sure if will/have to, to read the Rumble Splits Lickety sequel. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png Liking it a bit, I think!
1738631
I'd recommend reading Pipsqueak's Day Off, if only because I think it's the best thing I've ever written, even without clop. But yeah, go crazy. Hope you enjoy them!
Really sexy. But I have to point this out. Show, don't tell.
Example:
"Elusive places his toned, white forelegs on Applejack's back and slips his member between Applejack's slick, golden flanks, the tip poking the farmer's tail. He moves his erection around, spreading the drizzles of lube across his lover's luscious butt, letting Applejack feel the heat of his length. He lines his cock up with Applejack's flankhole, then leans forward to nuzzle his friend's rough mane, inhaling the smell of sweat, musk, and a hint of apple peel."
Look here, you keep on saying "Elusive did this, he did that, then he did this and that..."
Let's look at the first sentence of this paragraph:
"Elusive places his toned, white forelegs on Applejack's back and slips his member between Applejack's slick, golden flanks, the tip poking the farmer's tail."
It would be better if you say it like this:
Placing his toned, white forelegs on Applejack's back, Elusive slips his member between Applejack's slick, golden flanks, the tip poking the farmer's tail.
Now, why is this better? Purely because I mentioned the subject first, and the predicative last. Always mention the subject (the person/thing that is being affected by the verb, in this case, the subject is Applejack and the verb is buttsex.) first, and the predicative (the person/thing who is doing the verb, or in this case, doing the subject...
) last.
In summation, the one being done cums first, and the one who is doing the subject cums last.
...
...
...
It's ok if chuckfinley wrote it.
no sequel to this yet?......
1700145 1700035
See, I didn't know if that was necessarily a good thing when I saw it.
But I guess I can't complain, it was appropriate and I understand the using of excellent quotes in script. So fine- I'll deal with.
You win this one, Aquaman.
This one.
This one..
This one...
This was good, you should continue if
Maybe next time we get to see AJ's dress?
This was great, now all I want to see is 63'd AJ in a dress or read another story where he IS in a dress. This was great, my one regret is that there isn't more where Applejack is actually wearing a dress as he gets rutted.
that was awesome serious brohoof! /)
>////////////////> nice......the ending sold it though XD
you need to write a sequel!
i did a reading of this on youtube. here
2109314
That's your link to a Pony Shaolin Showdown reading.
2111215 oops! just a sec.