Angel runs into the Everfree Forest causing Fluttershy to freak out. She will do anything to find her bunny. Even going into the Everfree Forest. Flan Chan helped me with this one too.
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Remi-Chan
Joined 4th Nov, 2012 ·
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Angel is best pony.
Your face is an angel~!!!
As much as I love Fluttershy
... Downvoted because this doesn't make any sense plot-wise, and the other characters are borderline OOC (I don't think they would just let Fluttershy run off alone into the Everfree Forest like that) 
1741552
I hold you in high respect for commenting why you dislike a story instead of just disliking and calling it a day.
Hello! I'm here as a reviewer from Editors Dreamland.
The story itself is fine. I love the idea, but there are a number of issues that detract from the quality of the fic.
Like Zephyrus Scary said, this is borderline OOC. But I overlook that namely because if Fluttershy did run off to the Everfree Forrest to place frogs back in it, without the Mane 6. So that is not any issue at all. It's totally canon for her to care about her pets. You win FlanChan!
The syntax here needs to be changed a bit. Enter when ever there is a character speaking, or just change the sentence so it doesn't seem fragmented.
Ex. “Angel?” Fluttershy screamed as loud as she possibly could, which really wasn’t that loud, “Angel! Where are you?”
No response. Fluttershy started to sweat. “Where in Equestria could he be?” she worriedly mumbled to herself, starting to get extremely worried about her little bunny.
It just is reader friendly to separate ideas and when a charcter is talking!
The flow of this needs to be improved mainly because you can do so much more with her running to Twilight's library from her cottage. That might be a time for her to reflect on the disappearance. If someone is missing something, they don't go immediately to a friend, they search themselves. So there is a lot you can do to flush out the story just in that second paragraph.
This has the same syntax problem but you can just edit the sentence and include a comment to make it flow a lot better.
Maybe:
“Can’t talk!” Fluttershy gasped. She continued running, right past Pinkie, who raised an eyebrow in confusion at her friend as she flew past her.
"
."
This seems just a little to sudden. Again use the traveling as an opportunity for personal reflection that adds depth to the character.
You do a very good job with description!
Is,
, a thought? If so, use italics and spacing to signal it.
Add a description of the house to make it easier for the reader to conjure up a mental image of the house. Your leaving us hanging.
This would be the best time to add that description.
Again if this is a thought, signal it!
The wording here seems a little awkward, that might just be me, but there are some changes that would make come off a lot better to the reader. Like:
Again with the traveling issue. There is so much you can do! Include a dialogue between Angel and Fluttershy! Like how she usually talks to him. Make the characters seem real.
Those are my only real concerns
Again, I love the idea and I think you have talent, but making those changes will add to the story and make it better.
Again, head on over to Editors Dreamland to get help with reviews and editing!
Thanks for the Fic,
SilverTongue123
P.S.
Upvoted
I feel like your description is a little short. I implore you make a more specific and less choppy description. Right now you currently have either very short sentences or sentence fragments. Re-read it to yourself and make editions as necessary! Other then that good idea! I like the idea, though I had to figure it out for myself.
Not liking, not disliking.
1744802
That wasn't the Everfree Forest but Froggy Bottom Bogg.
1793341
My point being, she could go of without having her friends with her always. Regardless of location.
Ah, a typical in-a-rush story.
Nonetheless, the concept is acceptable, interesting and quite well-executed. Perhaps with some practise, your fiction will improve to a greater level.