1
12
20
Joined August 2011
631
9,935
When a young human super-soldier falls to Equestria, he must move on from his dark past filled with war, tragedy and bloodshed. Will he embrace this new chance at life, this new beggining? And most importantly. can he protect it when an ancient evil returns for a second time?
(NOT a Halo crossover.)
Cant wait to read it! Have fun with it.
Oh, one more thing: as I know the ponies never seen a human before so they should be more surprised. A strange, 2 meters tall, bipedal and tailless creature with small eyes... I should be affraid of him if I were a pony.
Just sayin'
Well as we know,Twilight can get too curious for her own good,and after saving Ponyville from an ursa minor (and any other creatures she has faced in fanfics that are based before these events) she should have earned the trust and respect of the residents of Ponyville.
But thanks for the advice!
Hey, started reading your story, really liked it so far. Not sure if you know, though, but the title should be "New Beginnings". I'm not sure if you're able to change the title after submitting it, but if you can, I'd recommend doing so. I almost didn't start reading because, due to the misspelled title, I was afraid the rest of the story would have all kinds of grammatical and spelling errors (which fortunately, it didn't). Other than that, keep up the good work, I look forward to reading the rest of this fic!
Also, Zephyr, Nyx is Twilight's adopted daughter. I recommend reading Past Sins if you've got the time, though, it is amazingly well written.
i really like these crossover stories you think maybe after this story you could do one featuring mewtwo from pokemon? i'd really like to read something like that and i've had the idea of pairing mewtwo with princess luna they'd make a good couple they both long for something for mewtwo it's finding a purpose and acceptance and for luna it's making a friend anyway keep writing this story and maybe write the new story i just suggested.
Sorry buddy,but I'm not a pokemon fan.Don't know who you are talking about.And,after I finish this one,I'll be writing more!Have 2 ideas so far,1 is a sequel to this,and the other involves a road trip around Equestria.The second one will be written.Sequel,not so sure.
That's all I'm saying!=P
Just started to read this, what got me interested the the halo reach pic ( big halo fan) and then instantly recognized Nyx ( past sins, awsome fic that I've followed from the it's very first release). Right now, it seams to be a decent fic (bit no *Past Sins*) but my only problem is that these d@m ponies drive me to insomnia 
but seriously, so far not bad fanfic and might possibly recommend to others 
Ok, I've just got done reading this and I've come to this conclusion:
1. Defeantly a halo type cross-over with MLP with the armor, background story and ships AI.
&
2. the character Wolf is defeantly like a master chief type cast, but I detected a bit of Star Killer from *Star Wars force unleashed* after he started to use telekinesis.
After this analises (sorry about any typos) I find that this has the potential to be an epic story, but I'll wait and see.
You're rushing. Slow down, develop and expand the scene, take you're time. What you have here is a good author overview of what you want to happen, but to me as a well developed reader (my fanfiction.net favorites list has over 1600 stories listed) it's too chaotic, fast paced and too lacking in detail for me to immerse myself in the scenes, or to engage/sympathize with the characters
But don't put too much detail that you're readers are spending an hour just to get through one chapter. Trust me, I've seen it happen, and while the plot is interesting, slogging through so much useless information to get to said plot points was absolutely horrendous.
To sum it up, you need more details, but don't put too much. Find that happy medium.
You show great promiss, you just need more practice.
man was it the financial crisis that made you so imaginative ? love it ! where did you get all those ideas? i will definitely be watching this one. Seems like Hamish was right , there are some Bronnies out there with some imagination ! Mind if i mail you for advice later on ? Oh and please give my store a look .
That's not the point, think of how long the ponies knew of the diamond dongs existence, probably for 1,000+years.
For the Human:
A sentient Biped that carries a mysterious weapon that can easilly take down a manticore, and rides a metal horse that runs on two wheels, that only has hair on their head, and is a couple of feet taller than the ponies.
As Black Alicorn's friend, I can tell you something.... It's a spoiler, but whatever, you will read it within 4 days :D
So, Wolf will meet somepony.... As the Scout said in Team Fortress 2: Look at me, look at me!
If it wasn't clear: It's going te be me! Or at least my ponified alter-ego, check my profile pic :)
And we learned something important today: Befreind the authors, they can involve you in their works!
Reset Password
Resend Verification Email
9,935 ( 118,877 )
More
Less
Post Comment
Refresh
have I made many mistakes?
.Fixed now.
Please just let me fix the grammar!
:)
Cancel
Send