33 - Epilogue to part 1
Days of Wasp and Spider
by Luna-tic Scientist
Preread by: KMCA
Edited by: ssokolow
=== Chapter 33: Epilogue to part I ===
Random Walk was shivering despite the warmth of all the bodies surrounding her. They pressed in close, staring up at her with liquid eyes and whispering encouragement to her and each other. The deep parts of her brain drew comfort from the press of the foal's bodies, the touch and smell of children she'd known and trained for most of their short lives, but on the surface all she could see were dead eyes and fly-blown corpses.
The mare shook her head, clenching her teeth in an effort to stop them chattering, and the vision faded. She wanted to do her best for the Masters, but they were making it very hard, and she was desperately afraid that she would not be strong enough to complete their tasks. With the fear came guilt and a worm of pain that started to gnaw its way up her spine, its teeth getting larger and sharper as it worked its way up her neck.
The worm was a familiar beast. She'd first felt its bite after the machine that tampered with her memories had made her choose between saving a friend and a Master, in a scenario that was obviously designed to test her loyalty and strength. Things had only become worse from that point onwards. They wouldn't let her sleep, pulling her away from the foals at odd times for another test. It was getting increasingly difficult to willingly follow the Master into that brightly lit room and submit to the silently glowing monster.
The artificial memories were frighteningly good, and the line between the simulated and the real was hazy at best. The worst thing was that her sense of time was starting to become dislocated; the memories brought with them days of background experiences, enough that it seemed she'd been here forever. Fusion told me that Packet is still alive, she did, I remember that. Random clung to the brief visit like it was the only thing keeping her afloat. Do I? Is she still alive? Didn't I kill her as well? One of the later sessions had required her to kick a mare to death; a mare who'd looked remarkably similar to Fusion. The reason was never explained, but she'd passed that test because it was what the Masters had ordered her to do.
Random's ears twitched at the remembered screams and the feel of bones breaking beneath her hooves, and she whimpered quietly at the back of her throat. The worm grew stronger and she ducked her head beneath her wing, teeth hunting for another feather to pull out.
There were none left.
Desperately, she nosed about, then switched to the other wing, with just as little success. Pain-of-the-body kept the worm at bay, forcing her mind away from thoughts of guilt and failure. If there was nothing left... Her lips brushed the denuded surface of her right wing, the skin rough with fresh scabs and smelling of iron, and her mouth opened of its own accord. Eyes closed, her teeth fastened on the wing joint and clamped down, sending a dull ache all the way to her mid shoulder.
"Random, please don't," a little voice said.
It was one of many that whispered to her; at first they had been full of confusion and worry, but as the testing had progressed their tone had changed to one of horror and fear. Now there was only despair, words delivered without hope of the request being honoured. Like all the rest, Random ignored it, allowing the worm to eat the plea as it crept up her neck. The pain of teeth on flesh wasn't sharp enough, and the young mare shifted her grip the tender leading edge, worrying the thin, damaged skin.
Stiff feathers brushed her muzzle, their tips tickling the insides of her lips with a sensation that was all-too familiar. Without conscious thought, her teeth shifted to the feather and closed, crushing the hollow shaft that ran down its centre. Random's neck muscles twitched, pulling the quill free. There was a gasp, but no pain; eyes still shut, the mare opened her mouth again as more feathers ran across her lips. Her teeth closed, getting a good grip.
Something isn't right, Random thought, trying to understand what had changed. I don't have any feathers left. She opened her eyes, staring straight into the frightened face of a blue colt. His own eyes were tight shut and his left wing was unfurled, its feathers against her muzzle. One of the big primaries was missing; half of the one next to it was already inside her mouth, the barbules sodden with saliva. Little trembling vibrations crept up the shaft, making the feather twitch against her tongue.
Surprise made her mouth drop open. Random's eyes rolled down, catching sight of the single loose feather resting on the foal's back. "Shock Diamond..." she croaked, the first words she'd uttered in nearly two days, "what...?" Random paused, gently releasing his feather.
The colt, his wing's trembling intensifying, reluctantly opened one eye. "Take it, take mine," he whispered through chattering teeth.
"No," the mare said, voice almost unintelligible as her throat closed up. What have I done? she thought, her vision blurring. Random leant forwards, burying her face in the colt's back and letting the tears flow. Buried under soft fur and gentle wings, the worm's teeth first lost their sharpness, then faded away altogether.
===
In his very private office, Sector Chief Orgon leant back against his chair and rubbed the sides of his muzzle with both paws in a display of frustration that none of the People ever got to see. The only other occupant in the room didn't count. Orgon trusted it more than anyone he worked with; unlike them its loyalty was beyond question.
"As much as this one will be commended for his part in this affair, he wishes that the discovery could have been a little less... messy," he said, leaning forward to clear his terminal's display. The long list of complaining messages and demands for explanations vanished, replaced with Security's eye symbol.
The level of destruction at the Institute was horrific, something that made it easy for the media to swallow the lie that the 'Makers Path' terrorist group was responsible. They might deny it through one of their tame journalist contacts, but who'd believe them? In the last few gigaseconds they'd made a name for themselves attacking Eugenics Board facilities; anything related to the servitors seemed fair game. "Fundamentalist idiots; as if the People would ever stop using the client races."
There was the slight worry that they might actually take credit for the 'attack' -- anything to promote their call for the People to lose their reliance on the creatures -- but even that Security public relations disaster would be better than the news getting out that a servitor had done it all. At least this one knows how it happened, he thought glumly, mind conjuring up the likely results of that little tit-bit escaping. Now he just has to convince the World Court that it was all a freak confluence of a weapons program with a deranged servitor. At least there were remarkably few witnesses. That was something he could thank the rogue for.
The other occupant watched him steadily, waiting for the moment when its services would required.
The real concern was the near complete lack of data on the actual fight inside the Institute. The telemetry links to the outside world had proven to be less hardened against thaumic interference than they needed to be, and what little did make it out was only tantalising fragments, more noise than signal. Analytics was still working on that, but nothing coming out of the processing farm seemed to be an improvement. Any real information would have to await the recovery of the multitude of corpses; Orgon only hoped there was something under that mess of steel and concrete rubble that made all this chaos worth while.
At least those that did make it out are under Orgon's direct control, he thought. A few taps of his desk's control surface opened the camera interface, throwing several video windows on to his wallscreen. The first two were identical, bland-looking rooms, each looking more like compact apartments than the high security cells they were. There was a Person in each, but there the similarity ended.
The first, an older female with her arm in a sling, paced the floor restlessly. She'd worked non-stop since her incarceration, covering her wallscreen with scribbles in a cramped, near illegible writing. The reams of cryptic notes interspersed with arcane quantum force-particle interaction diagrams had Security's technical services division pulling their fur out with frustration; half the team was convinced it was some sort of steganographic code.
The second, a younger male, was slumped in a chair, staring at a blank wall. He'd done nothing else since his arrival. Orgon knew the look well; he'd seen it on many a prisoner. It was the look of a Person replaying events in his head, wondering where it had all gone so badly wrong.
Both prisoners had already been declared dead as part of the 'terrorist incident', so Orgon had plenty of time to decide what to do with them. The irony is that the Academician seems to be enjoying her confinement, the Sector Chief thought, although the same can't be said for the Student.
All of the other witnesses were less important and under similar levels of control. The most unfortunate were the gryphons present at the original incident, but at least they were still sequestered for training and Orgon had time to arrange their fate. The Military would object, but they were not seasoned troops and could be replaced easily enough. The servitor witnesses to the third incident the most worrisome; all were either already dead or in the care of the Eugenics Board and being carefully examined. Speaking of servitors...
Another swipe of a paw brought up a video feed from a hangar in the walls of the Pit's huge entrance shaft. Positioned in one corner, the wide angle view was beautifully clear and sharp, showing the large cage that filled the bulk of the volume. A group of servitors lay at the centre, an overlapping melange of pastel wings and fur, all staying as far from the bars as possible. What is this one going to do with you all? Orgon thought.
"This one should have them all euthanized," he muttered. "Despite the test results, it's the only way to be sure..." He stared at the wallscreen, seeing not the video feed, but the reams of messages still waiting for processing. The complaints are not without merit; the efficiency of corral twenty seven has fallen far enough without the termination of an entire generation of servitors. Not only were the parents now poor workers, with instances of fugue at astronomical levels, but it would be at least another half gigasecond before the next generation could be raised. It was within his rights to do so... but it wasn't tidy.
"What if Orgon sends them home? It will fix this one's local problems, but there's the World Court to consider..." The Auditors were already rooting through the records of the affair and questioning all the People even slightly involved, starting with those in charge; his own interview was in a only a dozen kiloseconds. Orgon does not want to be responsible for having a team physically on Lacunae territory. At least they are doing everything by remote so far. They were questioning every decision made, questions asked with the benefit of hindsight, and had already demanded access to the full planning sessions. They knew at least one free servitor was involved; if they thought Lacunae wasn't treating the incident with the severity it deserved...
Any breach of regulations regarding servitors would be taken very seriously; woe betide the individual who committed such a violation. That unfortunate, along with any who could -- or should -- have known about it, would face Court justice. Magic and science would be used to strip mine the prisoner's mind for any incriminating memories, with failure to convince the Court's intelligence analysts resulting in a death sentence. Even acquittal left scars; the process was very stressful and a lifetime of psychological assistance was often necessary.
This is really a political problem, he thought, but this one knows who they'll point claws at. He turned to the large grey shape standing silently in the corner of his office and cocked his head questioningly. "Well, what does Merlon think?"
The other occupant of the room stirred, taking a silent step forwards to look over Orgon's shoulder. "If I may suggest a third option, Master."
Orgon nodded, studying his combination assistant and bodyguard. The servitor, a dappled grey mare, had served Orgon ever since he’d been promoted to Sector Chief. It came with the office and had assisted the three People who occupied this post before Orgon. It had sat in on countless meetings, an ignored observer to a huge number of Security activities, missions and decisions. As far as he knew, Orgon was the first Person to actually use its vast knowledge of how the Security apparatus operated to actually assist in his decision making process -- a good part of his reputation for infallibility came down to the skill of this pony.
"They all have the potential to become productive servitors; you should use that. Isolate them and continue their training, while showing their parents that they are being cared for. If you claim it is special treatment, because of the initiative they showed, then they will be put at ease."
"And the near-adult, this… Random Walk? It came close to killing one of the troopers." Orgon manipulated the controls, zooming in on the centre of the herd. A sorry-looking servitor with wings bare of feathers was half hidden amid the foals. They had huddled around the creature, pressing as close as they could.
Merlon looked at the scene, no emotion on her face. "True, but the circumstances make those actions permissible. She has also passed the full testing protocols at an incredibly young age." Here the pony's ears flicked slightly, the only sign that she was remembering her own induction into the service. "She has the makings of an excellent Security pony and it would be foolish to waste her."
"This is true." Orgon walked forward to study the images more closely. The risk is high, he thought, tapping his teeth with one claw, and this one is in the business of minimising risk. Turning away, he nodded, decision made. After a kilosecond to draft the necessary orders, Orgon returned to answering the long list of complaints.
===
The howl of engines woke Random from an exhausted sleep, and she lifted her head from under Shock's wing to stare dully through the mesh walls of their cage at the transport aircraft just settling on the edge of the hangar space. It was one of the type she'd seen flying past the open side of the chamber on many occasions, before the testing reached the point where she simply had no energy left for anything else.
A blocky machine, perhaps five lengths long and almost that wide, it had stubby wings tipped with compact plasma drives and a large rear hatch that was in the process of unfolding into a ramp. Ponies, all wearing the lidless eye symbol of Security, were trotting down the metal slope, their rubber-shod hooves silent on the mesh surface. A pair of Masters emerged from the front of the vehicle, one striding purposefully towards the suddenly alert group of gryphon guards, the other heading straight for the door to the improvised cage.
At a peremptory gesture from the second Master, one of the gryphons sprang forward to stand by the door, snapping her beak once in salute. Another gesture, this one abrupt and angry, and the guard did something to the lock and the door popped open. The Master, now the focus of every pony in the cage, walked in, his stride slower and more hesitant. The foals started to edge away, and he dropped to his haunches and started to talk to the nearest pony in a voice too soft for Random to hear.
The foal, his green coat matted and dirty, cringed at the words before suddenly pressing his muzzle against the sides of the Master's legs. He didn't seem angry at this sudden breach of protocol, just dropped to one knee to steady himself and reached out with a paw to run his claws through the colt's mane. A ripple of excited whispers spread through the herd, other foals starting to creep forwards. The Master waved at the ponies that had flown in with him and they walked into the cage, horns glowing as they scanned the youngsters.
"See, I told you that it would be okay!" Shock Diamond said, butting his head against Random's withers.
"Is it? Shock, I can't tell if this is real. I can't tell if anything is real." Random shivered all over, suddenly certain that this was all some strange addition to the tests she was forcing herself through. She stole a glance at her denuded wings, the once sleek limbs now looking ugly and deformed. They've never looked like that before, she thought, hope suddenly returning. Every memory has started with a complete set of feathers... is this really happening?
"It is... it must be. Look at Tangent Vector!" Shock abruptly stood up and pointed a hoof at the edge of the herd. In a sudden silence every eye was staring at the Master, who was fumbling at the green colt's collar. The click of a lock releasing was clearly audible, and a sigh ran through the foals as the Master gently lifted the collar from Tangent's throat and pulled the suppressor ring from his horn. That must have been a signal for the rest of the ponies; the glow of unfamiliar magic condensed over each collar in turn, unlocking and removing them all.
Apart from mine, Random thought, slumping at the Master's approach. She lay on her belly, now surrounded by empty space as the foals filed out of the cage under the direction of the Security ponies. The last she saw of Shock Diamond was the colt's uncertain backwards glance as he was shepherded up the ramp and into the back of the transport. The Master stopped a few paces away, muzzle twisted into a frown that exposed a line of sharp, white teeth as he studied her. Random started to tremble, her teeth chattering, as something twitched in her spine and started to grow teeth.
He blinked, seeming to see her for the first time, his expression softening. "The pony Random Walk DP2114 has done very well," he said, crouching next to her side and fumbling in his equipment vest for a small jewelled instrument. "That it is still functional after this level of testing is quite astounding."
Random gaped back at him, her eyes starting to swim. "Is it over, Master? Did I pass?" In her back the worm hesitated, needle fangs poised.
"The pony did," he said firmly, "this one thinks it may be something of a record, considering the pony's age." He made a quiet clicking noise with his teeth, lifting her wing with one paw and carefully extending it to examine the trailing edge.
Joy roared through Random, enough happiness to erase the aches of her body and make the hard concrete under her chest seem soft and forgiving. The worm vanished, then the joy was tempered by the attention the Master was paying to her wing. "I'm sorry, Master," she said in a small voice, "the tests were so hard... I needed something to keep me distracted, otherwise..." She fell silent as the Master laid a paw on her neck.
"The pony will not worry; there is no permanent damage and its feathers will grow back. Is the pony able to stand? This one can start to treat it in the back of the transport."
The paw moved to the collar about her throat, unsnapping the lock and pulling it free. The ring at the base of her horn went next, the sudden removal of the subtle feeling of suffocation lifting her mood still further. "Y-yes, Master," Random said, trying to get to her knees. She couldn't rise, but a strong paw under her chest coupled with a gentle haze of magic lifted her to an unsteady standing position. There, flanked by a pair of Security ponies, she made her uncertain way out of the cage and into the back of the transport.
Settling down into a padded stall, Random resolutely kept her head turned away from the now empty hangar, keeping her attention on the foals, her foals, as they chattered excitedly to the adults trying to keep them in their own stalls. Slowly she started to smile, a content, drowsy feeling washing over her as the Master and another pony started to work on her wings.
The ramp lifted with a whine, then the transport's drive thundered and lifted her away on spears of electric blue plasma.
===
It had taken an age -- nearly ten revolutions of the world -- but the ripples of Chaos' initial intervention had finally started to have the effect it desired. The events unfolding in the underground facility would propagate far beyond that small chamber; already it was following dozens of the bipeds it thought key to fulfilling its longer term plans.
That success had left it with one worrying potential problem. The ease with which the first pony had freed its genetic relative and the sudden massive increase in their ability to control the automata had given it pause. Had it just unleashed a greater threat than the Guardians? It was not afraid of two, but if they should free more of their kind...
Models spun out within Chaos, all its experience in manipulating the bipeds funnelled into its rapidly building theory-of-mind as it tried to predict the likely consequences of this action. The ponies had a different set of mental parameters to the bipeds, but they were fundamentally still all organic; it decided that the models would probably be valid.
...and if one thing was a constant between intelligent minds, it was a desire to be free.
Chaos looked out over the extent of the pocket universe, feeling the distant communion it had with its semi-independent mind fragment. It could feel tiny distortions in the brane walls, the signature of the larger spaces this one was attached to. It was a tempting thought; someday it would know enough to leave this place and really be free itself.
Assuming they could overcome the long term effects of automata tampering with their mental processes, Chaos expected the reign of the bipeds to be overthrown in short order.
...leaving it with a planet full of a species it had little experience with, all of whom had the ability to directly control the automata to a frightening extent.
The problem was a difficult one, but there was something it had briefly seen during an inspection of a biped’s mind, that one with the odd crystal implant in its cranial volume. Chaos retreated to the quiet spaces at the edge of the bubble and dove back into its capacious memory, unfolding the carefully mapped organic network and simulating it within its own mind.
Here was something it could use; a project set into motion by the bipeds that would allow them to neutralize their servant creatures -- not to prevent them from breaking free, but as a weapon against another polity. The risk to itself, should it try and activate the project, was unacceptable… but to manipulate circumstances so that the bipeds would use it themselves was a different matter entirely.
Chaos turned gleeful cartwheels through the higher dimensions, chasing its own processes through the ordered quantum foam at the bottom of space-time.
No more bipeds and no more ponies; the plan was perfect.
T H E E N D
...of part one.
The story continues immediately in Days of Wasp and Spider, Part II: Final Solution.
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Look ma! I've writted a novel!
A fine story, Luna-tic. Glad to see the first part finished. Just letting you know, it's still marked incomplete.
3631785
Well spotted, fixed (and thank you).
Whee!
Merlon is a very interesting new element. How deeply does she identify with the Security and the Masters running it, I wonder?
Coming up on a quarter-million words, and it's only part one! I am in awe, sir or madam
...that is a very ominous title. I'm kind of scared to click the link.
3632144
Endlösung der Ponifrage.
Hmn, so Sector Chief Orgon is quite reliant on a servitor that has a deep knowledge of how Security works, and he takes her suggestions. That's a tasty detail, I have a feeling that this Merlon is going to be an important character in the next story.
Nice to see Random and the foals make it out the other end. I'm a little surprised that they were not all summarily slaughtered, but on the other hand it would hardly be an economic decision to do so.
On to story two!
Congratulations in finishing the first, hm, tome? Anyway, I think you really wanted to publish this early:
One of the later sessions had required her to kick a mare death; a mare who'd looked remarkably similar to Fusion. -- kick a mare TO death?
It could feel tiny distortions in the brane walls -- why brane and not membrane?
Thanks again for the story (even though it's not yet done, it's a milestone!), and never stop writing!
Say it with me: "M. A. D."
3632767
That's slightly disgusting.
3633699
The pressures of Christmas get even to me! Fixing all the previous chapters has put me into an edit mode for the last month or two, but now it's time to get back to the coal face and start chipping away at the next one.
Fixed the first one. 'Brane' is a theoretical physics term, relating to one particular universe existing within a higher dimensional space.
3631982
Thanks -- I still can't quite understand how it got this large, but that just goes to show how rubbish I am at planning!
3632767
I see what you did there. There are parallels, but not in the way you might think based on the ponyfied phrase.
Whoo! My misgivings about a premature death for this story were fortunately wrong, it seems. Looking forward to the new story.
Luna-tic, never stop writing. Please.
Ten years later...
To be "free" and physically actualize... when he incarnates, is Discord going to be made from parts of all the antagonists we've had up to this point? :P
Making Discord sound like an ocean, now.
3634092
And when two Branes get together for a really big bang, a new universe is born!
I'm a bit confused about the name "Final Solution". Are you planning it to be the story's resolution, or are you possibly going to work it into 3 stories, because at the rate you're going, three stories sounds plausible.
On the one hand, I'm glad that Random Walk isn't being hurt anymore, but it's hard to cheer for her when I can't help but think about how Fusion is bound to try to save her, and Random having passed her enhanced conditioning training, is almost certainly going to make things go horribly awry. /sigh
Oh, and screw you Chaos.
grumble grumble.
Oh, and poor Korn. I'd wish him the best, but in his case, I'm afraid that any hope would be forlorn.
A truly epic christmas gift! The first arc of this story complete! Now for the next arc!
Jesus, that scene with Random Walk was the most physically painful thing to read I've ever seen in a fanfic. That hurt, man. I had to stop half-way through so my hands would stop shaking. I mean this in a good way though, it was really good.
Man, this story is awesome. I wish I'd gotten around to commenting sooner, but just know that I've excitedly awaited each and every update. Gravity's battle in the complex was epic.
And now, on to Part II!
3634244
No plans to -- although you got me curious: what made you think the story was going to 'die'?
3634965
Planning, yes... but I take your point. Because of the way I write this thing it's very hard to know exactly what's coming up. In a very real sense it's got a life of its own.
3635316
Not a very relevant reply (thanks for you comments!), but I just have to say 'nice hat' (there's something about a planet in a Christmas hat that is making me giggle just thinking about it).
3634315
Well, ten days, anyway...
I've figured out why Discord will gain a physical form; what I'm having trouble with is why that particular one (not happy with 'because chaos'). Ah well, that's a job for 2014.
3636008
Glad to be of service -- just don't get your hopes up when it takes me a couple of weeks to send in the 'update complete' note to EqD!
3636172
Thank you -- glad you got through it. Truth be told, I was a little worried that I went too far with Random's bit.
3636435
Ah, I thought Revolutions referred to the earth circling around the sun, wheras rotations was circling on its axis. Then again, I was never really stellar at astronomy. I thought it might have been a veiled time skip.
Well, it IS a first incarnation, right? Why not go for all the best parts? I mean, he's already dividing his mind into fragments, wouldn't it be possible that they'd each want something different? If he had to burst into the physical plane without enough preparation (guardians finally bearing down) then I wouldn't be surprised if he muddled things a bit.
glarg I don't even
I read the whole thing but I can't upvote it. Why can't I upvote it? Wait I can't downvote it either. I can't just- but- What are these feelings I'm so confused.
3636703
Slave Crown. Heh. I got that reference.
3636435
I am cursed in that every time I find a story I really like, the author just stops halfway through and never picks it up again. It's doubly true around major holidays.
3636703
Welcome!
(a bit late, as I see you have already finished it)
You have hit on the true darkness in this story; it was never the slavery, but the manner in which they are enslaved. Believe it or not, it took me quite a while to realise that myself.
3639748
The curse of the fimfic update! Ah well, thanks for your comments (it's always entertaining to follow someone's progress through the fic).
3640473
Welcome to you, too!
Thanks for your comments -- I'll change that description (no matter how many times I proof read there are always more errors).
3641920
Happy to entertain! Thanks for writing it, you complete bastard.
I still can't figure out whether I like the damn thing or not.
Thank you for all your comments!
3647160
Nope, not that. My 'unanswered question' was more about Equestria's world, than the ponies in it.
I'm keeping it as canon as I can (bear in mind that this was started at the end of season 1).
3647321
Carbon Carbon is a type of composite material (super light and super strong, the kind of stuff you'd use on high performance aircraft).
3648653
Look at it from Korn's point of view -- failure to report his suspicions is practically a capital crime. It's a bit like discovering that your dog has found a way out of your garden and into the farmer's field next door; the dog might want to get out, but the world is a dangerous place and he might end up being shot by the farmer. For his own protection you'd fix the hole in the fence.
3648913
A very small, carefully controlled point of damage. Much smaller than what happened to Fusion at the start.
3649712
(Oops, I forgot once again that commenting on each chapter while reading would spam the crap out of the story's overall comment page.
)
3653206
Never think like that; the more the merrier!
3631693
Good work and it seems you're working on another one. It's definitely a great intellectual fan fic.
3657813
And that's... bad?
(You'll have to explain that one; I've never played any of the games.)
3658258
Nope, just me struggling with 3rd person conversations (half the time I think it works; the rest I spend cursing the decision).
3659043
Thank you -- glad you are still enjoying the show!
Okay, I'm very impressed. I was not expecting this story to be so incredibly gripping. Very good writing and characterizations, excellent world-building... strike that, amazing world-building. Believable motives all around, I thought. You truly did a masterful job, here! Looking forward to the sequel.
Quick question, is this going to be a trilogy (or more?) or are you planning to wrap up the story with the sequel?
3660670
Sorry it wasn't what you expected; from my point of view the antagonists are as accurate as I can make them, given their (in most cases) controlled upbringing.
It's not a quick plot progression, agreed (I have a hard time not telling all the stories).
Thank you for taking the time to write your comment; most would have downvoted and walked away.
3674874
).
I like to think I know a little bit about everything (just enough to get myself into real trouble...
Bearing in mind that I'm a chemist, not a materials scientist...
Expansion would be highly predictable from blade to blade (because crystals can expand different amounts along different axes, so variation in the orientation of the crystal domains would cause variation), this is important because the blade tip to cowling distance needs to be as small as possible (and thus can be altered as the engine's speed/temperature changes).
Thermal expansion is less of an issue for the dropship's engine design, as it does not use combustion for thrust. It's a cross between an electric ducted fan and a plasma drive -- at slow speeds you can use the fan only (safe inside the tunnels), to go faster they superheat the air in a more 'rocket' mode. Obviously none of this requires a high temperature turbine, so thermal effects are less of an issue for them.
Thank you for your comment -- I spent an entertaining few minutes reading up on blade tip active clearance control, something that I didn't know existed (so I've learnt something too!).
Well, those last few chapters were a rollercoaster of a ride. Did I detect the seeds of Nightmare being sown in Gravity's rampage?
One thing I did really like was the stroy being told from multiple perspectives across the same time, I thought that was really well handled. I know authors like flaws being pointed out and the only one I can really think of is the joke chapter being left in, although I still liked that chapter.
Can't really think of any other critism at the moment, might come back to it later.
I'm eagerly watching the next installment- getting that feeling that obviously in the future there are only a handful of Alicorns so I know that at some point everypony is going to die and it probably won't be pleasant...
I'm getting very lax with my replies -- I blame Christmas!
3694882
Thanks; one of my main struggles is getting the characters to evolve such that they end up where they should (or at least show what could become canon characterisation), so I'm glad that's coming through.
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It was a bit of a mean trick (I suppose I could put the warning at the top of the chapter, but the horrible truth is I like to see people's reactions), but I don't think of it as a hoax chapter. It started off that way, but quickly changed into something else, a genuine alternate ending (when people ask to see what I've written, that's the version of the story they get). I have been tempted to write more along that 'fork' (especially after reading your speculation); perhaps after the current line is finished. Glad the multiple perspective thing worked for you (I know some are not keen, as it does slow things down), I do like trying to show all sides.
Thank you for writing this incredible book. It's not just great fanfiction, it is great fiction. You combined the natural desire of liberty with science, fantasy, and a good deal of metaphysics to create a story I could not put down. One thing that is particularly enjoyable is your characterization of even the small actors, such as the discipline of Hakon in this passage:
Hakon knew that he might die in the immediate future, but took care not to harm others before that possibility. These characterizations really help fill out the world.
I greatly look forward to Final Solution.
3721936
That's very good to hear; thank you for taking the time to let me know. I try to get in the mind of everyone I write, so I'm glad that came across.
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Thank you (I'm assuming all those questions are rhetorical)!
It's always interesting to see how a new reader responds (i.e. one able to read the whole thing at their own pace, rather than waiting for me to post the next bit, if you see what I mean).
3812663
Yeah rhetorical, and, on to chapter two now. Sorry for the delay, got busy with other stuff.
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Not, not too much at all; the level of detail is fascinating. Liveblog -- so you write down your thoughts as you read?
Also: do you want me to correct any misunderstandings (ones that I haven't deliberately written in, obviously!)?
3859901 Pretty much, though the actual liveblogs are WAY more in depth. My Fallout Equestria one was bigger then most fics in itself. But yeah basically writing down what you think as you read.
And sure, as long as not spoilerish, or something that will be explained soon anyway.
3874924
)
Fixed the typo, thanks for pointing that out (there are always more typos to be found
I'm sure you're right about large scale fractures, but this is a bit different: the mechanism by which bone gets stronger (due to exercise etc) isn't very well understood, but one method is thought to be by the formation and repair of micro fractures (each less than a hundred microns long).
I'm impressed by your self-restraint -- I've never been able to resist the 'just one more chapter' thing!
You mentioned Navy -- that's your day job?
3876605 Used to be. Got free of that hell hole years ago.
And yeah really really hard to resist but, really can't be late to work either. Still had to peak and see if/how she survived.
The bone thing, hmmm okay I could buy it on a small scale.
Overall REALLY loving, not just the story, but the world. The mystery of what's going on, how? Why? Where did the ponies come from, how are they being kept so obdient. When did this start? What's going on with "The pattern" and how does it relate to the story? How do we go from ALL alicorns, to just Luna and Celestia being alicorns, but the rest splitting up into the three tribes? Where's the 'Creations stones' comes from? Why was Vancia so set on hiding what happened, and yet openly talked about it. If not the military, then who was she hiding the data from? How will things get to the Equestria we know.
So many questions, and such a big, epic feeling world. There is so much going on, so muh backstory, and so many hints at things, enough to know there IS a bigger story behind all this, but not enough to really know what it is. Just a few pieces of it.
Secondly, really loving how the story is handling magic so far. There is a kind of science behind it. There are rules, there is some sort of understood order. And yet, it's not all science, it's still magic. As much as they know, there is still mystery, still some of it they just don't understand. It still FEELS like, well magic. While how it works is mostly understood, the how and why, the source, the purpose, is still a mystery. It's a really great balance.
okay gotta read chapter....
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I'm a hard SF reader/writer by preference, with a side-line in anthropomorphic creatures, so I wanted to build a world where 'magic' had some level of explanation behind it. Then there's the requirement for Celestia/Luna to control the heavens -- speed of light being what it is, I couldn't have the stars being what we think of as stars, so it had to be stuff in orbit. Same for the sun -- even if you shut off the proton cycle at the heart of a star, it would take thousands of years for that effect to reach the surface, so you have something like a white hole instead.
The relationship of the Masters with the ponies should be like the one between a military dog handler and his/her dog. You love the dog and you want it to work well, but you don't hesitate to send it in first (and in this case the 'dog' knows the Master is superior, so wouldn't have it any other way). Obviously, there are abuses of this power...
The take on magic is all mine -- the show gives us nothing to go on, but I thought it reasonable that a magic capable pony would have a mechanism to detect active magic. The best way to represent this for us poor non-magic users seemed to be by a sight analogue.
This story went through its planning phase at the end of S1, so you may find some deviations from canon (that said, most of what's in the show can be extrapolated/worked in... so far, anyway!).
I do tend to like to show an incident from multiple angles (although I try not to duplicate things too much), so it sometimes does result in a delay before you get back to a specific character; partly this is because I like to show both sides (and the effects of fog-of-war on decision making). Look on the bright side -- if you had been reading this when it was posted, you'd have had to wait a month...
Readers have called me worse than 'evil' (and by the time you are through, I wouldn't be surprised if you do, too).
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Yeah the magic sensing thing does make sense logically, just a bit odd at first. And meh, can always just work that it's some Alicorn only thing, or a skill that's atrophied over time to explain why regular ponies don't seem to have it. Though betting certain ponies do.
As to the relationship... no don't see it. I mean I get what you are trying to say but, I don't see it anywhere near that benevolent. The ponies are thinking, sapient beings, being forcibly mind raped into being pathetic, boot licking, cringing slaves to every whim of a Master. And treated like disposable tools. Expensive enough that you don't want to waste it on a whim, but without any care but replacement cost. Treated like things.
Military dogs, they MAY be considered more expandable then a person, but they aren't stripped down to that level, they are still cared for, quite deeply by most that work with them. Their loyalty is earned, not beaten and forcibly hardwired into their brains. And when they get too old to be military dogs, they are retired, allowed to live out the rest of their years in peace, often being taken in and cared for by their trainers. Not just murdered for being useless.
So no not seeing how the two are similar. Then again I really really REALLY have issues with any kind of messing around with someone's mind/memories/personality any kind of direct mental manipulation. But even then, just the utter fucking horrible way they are treated, while being thinking, intelligent, beings, who are forced, brainwashed, beaten, and altered into such servile little tools, treated like tools, and abused, murdered, maimed, all uuuggghhh yeah really REALLY hate The Masters, and can't wait to see them get some massive payback.
The multiple angle thing, it does work and really shows just how bad things can go, and how some people can make, what for what they know is the perfectly right call, and be so horribly wrong simply due to not having all the info. Or, how one fucking dumbass can screw over everyone.
Well, never something I like to hear, though, hoping this is overstatement of what you are going to do, or underestimation of what it takes to make me think that, Given who Gravity and Fusion are, can't have anything TO permantly bad happen to them... And given I made it through FOE, and it's by far my favorite story.. don't hing the story will be, well hope anyway, getting THAT bad.
Of course, I'm probably over thinking that, since the last author I know that talked about how evil readers would think he is was Somber and, well... for good reason, he fucking is, not to mention really really full of issues. But given we're this far in, and not a single hint of massive overblown gore, every character getting raped or mutilated at some point... no, I doubt it's going to be THAT bad.
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The key word is 'should'. The analogy isn't perfect -- the servitors don't retire because they don't age. Also are all military dog retired? The search dogs, yes, but surely not the ones used as guards and trained to attack.
Treated like things? Yes. From the Master's POV they are not people, just smart tools. Things to dispose of when it isn't worth repairing them (even better: the tools dispose of themselves when they know they are no longer useful). It's not nice and it's not humane by modern standards, but this kind of conditioning (and it's no different from any other kind of animal training, except for the fact that rewards and punishment are applied in the most direct fashion possible) is very effective for a given 'product'. You'll get more details on how it works as things progress.
I may have been a little melodramatic; nasty things do happen, but most of the horror is in the situation, rather than gore. FoE was the thing that pulled me into pony, but I couldn't finish it. Too dark for me.
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you should have, it is REALLY good, and SO worth the darkness. Since, all it des is make the light shine all the brighter for it.
As to the comparison. Even accepting something similar to pets... that still completely breaks down and goes into just plain EVIL territory by them doing this to thinking, rationale, sapient beings. Not animals. And literally rewrite their brains to MAKE them obey no matter what. Force them to act the way you want. All while treating them like that.
It's even worse then if they were trying to crush them, making an effort to enslave them. Rather then just the casual neglect, the simple assumption that this is right, that they aren't anything unique. Not even worth the consideration of a pet, of being a living, feeling creature. Just, it's beyond wrong, and again can't wait to see them fucking PAY for it.
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I am, forever and always, a hard SF fan. Even with magical ponies. Clarke's Third Law applies!
I think, out of everything I've written, that was one of the most unpleasant. As always, it's a case of 'what can I can do to this character, to see what they are made of'. Fusion needed to see how the Blessing worked, so...
As is obvious by now, mind control and the effects/after effects are a running theme in this story.
3913797
Eh, jus diffrence of opnion. It's not TO bad but, trying to overly explain magic just, doesn't feel right. There needs to be SOME mystery to it, something that makes it, well, magic. Explaining how it works, yeah that is fun but, to the extent that it there's nothing magical about it anymore....
And on further reflection, after the initial emotional rush and being far to tense and on the edge of my seat to REALLY think about it, them doing this... it proves that The Masters, are even worse then I thought. Since they clearly are fully and completely aware of just how fucked even a single, non-brainwashed pony could make them. Know that they NEED that total and complete control of them. No illusions about it being for their own good, no thoughts that maybe this is right. No they do it, simply to subjugate a race they know they would be unable to control otherwise.
So... many.. chapters left.. just till there's a chance thing could start getting better....
But yeah while intense, and kind of rough to see her have to do, it was amazingly well done. You knew she hated it, and now she knows just how fucking evil the masters are. And, she had to do it. While, maybe, just maybe, she could have taken them out, she doesn't know how close the magic suppression thing is, how fast they can bring it back. And, given how on edge and ready they are, some of the foals would have ended up dying if she tried to fight back, and likely her as well. She had to keep up the at, not let them know, and let them do this to the foals, because if not, they would have been gunned down without a second thought. At least this way, now that she knows the control can be broken, she might be able to save them later.
3919643
This arc (Fusion coming to terms with her situation and starting to reason a way out of it) was the first big worry of this story -- could I make it convincing, and so on. It's still one of the bits I'm most pleased with, so I'm glad it worked for you.
One thing that might not have been clear -- there are two factions at work here; the Military (gryphons and the power suited Masters) and Security (Salrath and the rest of the Masters). As with many large organisations in competition for funding, they are not the best of friends (even if they do have the same ultimate commander).