• Member Since 16th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen January 13th

JonOfEquestria


PS: Formerly 'Jonshine' - changed to match an available email address, JonOfEquestria [at] googlemail.com

Comments ( 110 )

Okay... and it's relevant because..? Did you perhaps dislike my story? Some aspect thereof?

Jon

Yip

1633058 STOP COMMENTING ON STORIES NO ONE LIKES GRUNGE

...Yeah, they kind of do.

Also, 2/10 IGN Would not read or recommend again

I thought it had a certain sort of appeal. I'm not so sure about the political ranting, but I suppose she might be a bit disillusioned...

I liked it. A bit freaky at times but hey, Twilight is best Changeling queen:twilightsmile:

So Twilight becomes Queen of the Changelings, eh? Interesting...:rainbowhuh:

1633110 You silly filly, grunge is dead.
But so is Kurt Cobain, and they're both awesome, so that never stopped me.

1633074
Wanderer's offer was an open one, so it seems that others are very welcome to play too.

1633180
This was commented on when it was being edited, actually. I decided to leave it that way. Something unsettling has happened to Twi, is happening to Rainbow Dash, and I wanted the reader to feel it a little bit.

1633255
Well, that's more set by Wanderer's 'Changeling Queen' than by this story. If you haven't read that, you really should, because it's good. But I doubt this would make much sense without it.

1633164
As I writer, I very much took an 'easy' way out - it would've been much more difficult for Twi to rationalise the things she was doing if Equestria really was perfect. Still, she's also definitely blowing small flaws up into big issues - but then, it feels to me like that's very Twi, somehow. She does it in both the time travel episode and the test episode, after all.

Jon

What's with all the Down-voting?!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png
This is good, well written, and it, as a freaky Changeling story, does what it's supposed to do.
Up-voted for great justice!

1633301 I dunno, like you say she can blow really small things all out of proportion with minimal effort. Even if Equestria was perfect, she'd find something to justify her newfound instincts.

yeap dont understand the down-voting too

1633320>>1633664

Thanks, both of you. :pinkiesmile:

although I think 'The Changing of Rainbow Dash' fails to clear the bar of being Rationalist Fanfic. Twilight just isn't Rational and Reasonable enough.

I'd have to disagree - the fact that she's trying and incorporating elements of Rationality is sufficient, even if she does shoot herself in the foot with them. Perfectly rational actors don't generate enough drama to be entertaining :pinkiecrazy:

In any case, you might wanna consider adding this to the LessWrong group.

I liked it. Not sure why downvoting. Maybe because RD used words which are too large for her.

1633772

Fair enough - I'll add it there.

Jon

This is well written, and a damn good sequel to the other story that birthed it.

S73

D just posted a blog about this fic, prepare for the storm. I RL'd it personally.

So, does this actually go somewhere with the story D started, or does it similarly end with "And then things got worse, ~The End~"? I don't want to be left hanging again. :unsuresweetie:

Quite enjoyable! Would love to see it, well, continued - it captures the universe well, and seeing Twilight...well, gain further conquests, and her eventual, inevitable confrontation with Celestia would be delight itself!

What a good fanfic this was.

Yes, this will work out so perfectly, until Discord gets free again.

Somehow, I doubt the Elements of Harmony are going to work with corrupted creatures.

Of course, since so many will be Changelings by then, I won't mind if Discord merrily destroys every last one.

TwiDash is my favourite pairing and ridiculously cute so I find it kind of disturbing to see this as a borderline non-con. Still, it was pretty well written.

However, I would find it interesting to see the Changeling Twilight dynamic with another member of the mane six, if you wanna write that.

After reading it twice, I still cannot tell what the f--k I had just read.

Well this was .... interesting.
I really don't know what to think about this. It had elements I both loved and hated.
Not going to upvote you. Not going to downvote you.
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I need to see the previous work for context--this was undeniably twisted. Not an unpleasant read in the sense of it not being a good story, but... Wow. Unhinged Changeling Queen Twilight is UNHINGED.

Fav'd. Because I like a good twisted work every now and again. And lol at Twi's research paper, denoting the usefulness of stallion duck to headbones.

I actually kind of liked this :twilightsheepish:

Then again, I'm just a sucker for a TwiDash

I would like to see more work from this universe. As long as the quality is good I will read.

Typo:
I hadn’t [i[known


Overall, it fades in and out of confusingness. For this story, I think that's good.

That’s the magic - and the slow enrapture of the brightest pegasi and earthpony mares by fillyfooling unicorns is one of the many small, subtle ways Equestria’s racism perpetuates itself.

Is this supposed to not quite make sense? AFAICS she's saying failure to curtail a natural advantage is racism? If so, she fails at word definitions. (especially since preventing it WOULD identifiably be racism, even if in pursuit of a reduction in date-rape, if that's the word that applies here.)

I think I might have cracked a rib laughing at the line, "You didn't happen look directly into the Smoulder, did you? Cause that's incurable." :rainbowlaugh:

So yeah. Awesome story.

She did not name Spike as a friend that she loves. Aww you could feel the appreciation as having a background pony being above you.

Dear lord, we need more of this. First the Mane 6, to secure the Elements, and then the world. Twilight's fantastically loopy.

I love it! Fav'd. :twilightsmile:

A nice idea, though sadly my enjoyment of it was greatly marred by the fact that I grew to hate the writing style of "Harry Potter and the Method of Rationality." The little tangent notes of rationality and side thoughts can be good, but that story, and now this one, has a serious hit-or-miss rate issue when it comes to these snippets adding to the story, and when they're just annoying fluff.

I did give you an upvote because I didn't feel it deserved how many downvotes it has and the writing did show thoughtful insight and effort. Though, that beginning government rant/arguement done by Twilight wound in on itself so much that it failed to make a clear point. I'd suggest trying to concisely refine that kind of moment in future writing.

I'll like for the writing, but I'm still left a little unsure on all . . . this. *gestures to story*
Story: You just gestured to all of me!
Me: Yes, I know.

It's the gaaaaaaay....

Wow, that's... intense to say the least.

The perspective change threw me for a loop a little bit, I was expecting the point of view to be the same as Wanderer D's. But I think this is excellent. I'm not a big fan of TwiDash or descriptive sex in MLP FanFics, but I'm not gonna take that out on this story, because it's very good. Also couldn't help but notice it seemed to be well researched, bravo.

Sad that there isn't going to be a sequel, I mean since Dash hinted at Applejack "loving it". :ajsmug:
Not to mention teasing with confronting Celestia, dun dun dunnn

Didn't see any grammar or spelling erros. Good job! :twilightsmile:

Y1

Hey! You made the feature box! Congratulations. A story I pre read for (poorly I might add) has made the feature box! This is the closest I've ever come to the illustrious top right corner of fimfiction. Anyway, you've already more or less gotten my opinion on this story. It works as a story that's goal is to make the reader squirm with discomfort and say out loud 'The fuck?'. So yeah, I like it. Your ability to play on the readers emotions like that is great, and the sex scene was winderfully 'oogy' to use a word my pre reader would use.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must celebrate your success that I had a tiny part in.

1634871 'So, does this actually go somewhere with the story D started, or does it similarly end with "And then things got worse, ~The End~"? I don't want to be left hanging again'.

At the moment, I feel like this sandbox should be someone else's to play with for awhile. There are plenty of other stories that could be written around 'Changeling Queen', and I don't feel it's my place to write more of them - I've my own unfinished epic (which is considerably tamer than this). Even this story is just one possibility. It'd be entirely valid to write an alternative, gentler, more seductive 'Changing of Rainbow Dash'.

1635570 'Quite enjoyable! Would love to see it, well, continued - it captures the universe well, and seeing Twilight...well, gain further conquests, and her eventual, inevitable confrontation with Celestia would be delight itself!

I don't think I can write the further conquests of Changeling Queen Twilight Sparkle. This state of inner turmoil has to settle at some point - I can't write four-plus iterations of it - and without that it'd be naked clop. The confrontation with Celestia... that's tempting, but I also intend to have one in 'Madame Butterfly', so I'll probably write that first.

1635734 'Yes, this will work out so perfectly, until Discord gets free again.'

That's a very good point I hadn't considered at all. You know what - that's future Changeling Queen Twilight's problem. :facehoof:

1635964 'TwiDash is my favourite pairing and ridiculously cute so I find it kind of disturbing to see this as a borderline non-con. Still, it was pretty well written.'
1636143 I need to see the previous work for context--this was undeniably twisted. Not an unpleasant read in the sense of it not being a good story, but... Wow. Unhinged Changeling Queen Twilight is UNHINGED. Fav'd. Because I like a good twisted work every now and again. And lol at Twi's research paper, denoting the usefulness of stallion duck to headbones.

Well, I was shooting for 'mildly disturbing', so that's good. You definitely shouldn't go out and act like Twilight Sparkle in this story. Thank you for the complements, and - wait a minute, someone's checking out one of Wanderer D's stories because of something I wrote!!! :pinkiehappy::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:

1636050
That can happen - it's because of the unhinged narrator.

1636177 'AFAICS she's saying failure to curtail a natural advantage is racism? If so, she fails at word definitions. (especially since preventing it WOULD identifiably be racism, even if in pursuit of a reduction in date-rape, if that's the word that applies here.)'
Typo fixed - thanks! As to the rest of it... I think I'll duck behind Twilight-as-the-narrator here.

1636351 "You didn't happen look directly into the Smoulder, did you? Cause that's incurable."

Anything anyone actually liked was probably stolen from somewhere. I think this might be AestheticB's, but I don't remember where from. It's definitely not out of 'Sparkle's Law', which was the obvious story for it to be in. He might've just said it in Wanderer's recent author's podcast - the listening to of which led me to check out his blog, which led to finding the offer to write in his sandbox, which led to this story. Funny old world, isn't it?

1636373 'She did not name Spike as a friend that she loves. Aww you could feel the appreciation as having a background pony being above you.'

That's a deliberate choice, for two reasons. First, I wanted to make the world more believable. Twi has other friendships we don't see on-screen. Second, Spike's already been turned into a changeling (ew - no, not in a sexual way) in Wanderer's original story, so there's no need for her to worry about losing him or his friendship.

1636403>>1636465>>1636543
Thank you both (all three? I'm not quite sure how to interpret crazy pinkie?)!

1636757
You get a cookie for spotting the How To Train Your Dragon bit at the start! And thanks!

1636661
Thanks! It's a good note, and I'll try to write more tightly in future.

1637036
Intensity is good, and you're right - I should've put something at the top to make it clear we were in Twi's first-person perspective. You're also right about AJ's story being a potentially interesting one. How does a pony who's so honest she scored the Element of Honest cope with being transformed into a creature who's nature is fundamentally dishonest? Unfortunately, it'd almost have to be AJ's first-person viewpoint, and I have terrible trouble finding her voice. Creepy, unhinged Twilight - that's no problem, though. Doesn't say anything good about me, does it :pinkiesad2:?

PS: If your comment was after TOOS0BER's, I haven't gotten to it yet.

1637137

What's that from, originally? - Derp, it's of course the Sound of Music, but I got to the end of the post before remembering.

1637158

Not such a tiny part, really. But we have hit the feature box with 'Madame Butterfly' (also Zontargs and Vivex, who kindly pre-read that story together with y1fellas for me).

Oh! New My Little Denarians. Gotta go!

My boner is wierd. :rainbowhuh:

1635734
1637168

Hey, who said anything about corrupted? :facehoof: Rainbow Dash is still loyal, and being a changeling isn't going to stop most of the Mane 6 from being what they need to be. And imagine how impressive it would be for Applejack to remain honest! :derpyderp1: Plus, there's harmony and there's chaos. If Twilight's new nation isn't in harmony, (and it looks like it is), then it must be chaotic! No angry Discord there. :pinkiehappy:

Oh my, this story is condensed brilliance in form of words, I salute to you, good sir, I salute to you, and it would be immensely regretful not to see the subsequent follow-up to this.

1637346

dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png "Applejack, there's something different about you these days."
:ajsmug: "Eeyup, Ah'm a changling now!"
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_gaze.png "Sure you are, and I'm princess Celestia."

Intriguing.
But highly disturbing.
That's not a bad thing, though.

1637346 No, Twilight is doing what she believes is right, and mind raping people (with a positive emotion, but still mind rape) to fit her beliefs, not to mention changing their species without consent. As Twilight monologues, there is no way Rainbow Dash would ever become a changeling willingly and Twilight doesn't mind the fact that she might have to hurt Rainbow Dash to change her. That's not really a moral grey area, that's pretty fucking evil. The elements of harmony are an inherently good thing, thus I assume the elements would fail to function.

*claps* Good work, hope to see more from you I like how you made Twiqueen go on and on! :pinkiehappy:

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