Featured In25

More Stories11

  • E Awaken, Scootaloo

    When Scootaloo loses hope, Princess Luna is there to help her learn to dream again.
    6,531 words · 4,642 views  ·  598  ·  5
  • E Diary of a Silent Tyrant

    Encased in stone, Discord observes the events around him and reflects on his life
    3,162 words · 6,639 views  ·  661  ·  7
  • E Apple Ninjas and Other Vital Concerns

    Big Mac shows Apple Bloom that the farm can be a blast, even when her friends are all busy for the day.
    3,725 words · 1,287 views  ·  170  ·  0
  • E Checkmates

    After finding a chess set in the library's storage closet, Twilight is eager to play a few games and turns to Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Teaching the two most competitive ponies in Ponyville a new game should be a snap, right? RIGHT?!
    3,673 words · 6,220 views  ·  461  ·  5
  • E Diary of a Pliant Tyrant

    When Fluttershy finds out that Discord used to keep a mental diary while imprisoned in stone, she begs him to continue it. Grudgingly, he promises to document his thoughts about his new life among old enemies
    16,437 words · 8,031 views  ·  822  ·  13
  • E Cheerilee's Thousand

    Cheerilee goes on one thousand terrible dates.
    70,161 words · 5,011 views  ·  627  ·  9
  • E A Door Jam

    Twilight, Applejack and Fluttershy end up on an adventure when Pinkie develops a strange obsession with Sugarcube Corner's back door.
    10,904 words · 3,999 views  ·  263  ·  6
  • E The Carrot Dog Fight

    Spike just wants to eat his delicious carrot dog, but Manehattan's birds have other ideas.
    3,570 words · 1,057 views  ·  102  ·  1

Blog Posts439

  • Saturday
    Update and Errata

    So the new story is coming right along.  It's about a third of the way through an editing pass, and so far only one or two major things have come up.  I have gotten from just about everyone that it's pretty dark, though, and that's disheartening.  The Dark tag is the kiss of death, in my opinion, but I don't want to lie to readers.  If it's dark, then it is.  I'll just have to live with that lower view rate.

    This is the hardest time for me as an author.  I love writing.  I love publishing.  I really, really hate editing.  You take this thing that you think is really great and give it to other people, who then tell you why it's not so great.  I find it to be demoralizing.  And then I get angry at myself for being childish, but it's a process.  I get feedback, then I enter into a small depression for a couple of days.  After that, I'll use the feedback to hopefully make the story better.  It's always helped in the past.  My stories have always come out better and stronger, yet I sit here and feel down about the whole thing for a few days.  That drives me up the wall.  I hope to one day be past that.

    I got the art back for the story, and I'm fairly pleased with it.  The artist screwed a few minor details up, but it's still pretty nice.

    Also, I'm not sure why I'm a sucker for stories with ridiculous sounding premises, but I am in the worst sense of that word.  I always look at these stories and think, "Wow, that sounds shallow/unworkable/like a terrible idea. There's no way an author would do that unless he or she had some way to really make that work in a way that's fresh and original."  It never is.

    Not true!  Skywriter's Shipping Sickness is a great example of a stupid premise that was awesomely done, but it's the rare exception, it seems.  This is probably news to no one but me.

    4 comments · 64 views
  • 1w, 4d

    3 comments · 92 views
  • 1w, 5d
    The Tsunami

    Gah! So much to do! I have too many stories to write!

    I've just finished one, and I'm staring down the barrel of at least ten more. I don't know where they all came from. Luckily, I'm feeling pretty energized. I really like how my new story came out, and that will probably evaporate once my editor gets back to me with a thousand items, but for now, I'm feelin' fine. I'm already thinking about a sequel to that story, but we'll see how it's received first. I love it, so it'll probably fall flat on its face.

    I'm still struggling to find art, but I sent out some new requests that I've got high hopes for. The story won't be ready for public consumption for probably another month or so anyway, so I've got some time.

    But the next order of business is definitely going to be updating Cheerilee's Thousand and Taking a Job for Granite. I've sat on that stuff for too long while I worked on this new Big Mac story and First Steps. Then we will see about some collabs people have been asking for.

    And speaking of collabs, The Album 2 is seriously lagging. My Pinkie Pie chapter will never be seen! This is where I'd put the bawling Rarity emoticon, but we don't have it in the blogs, I guess.

    And how about this snazzy update? I'm liking it overall, though I'm still struggling to understand some of the choices. I can't see the lifetime performance of my story anymore? Just a monthly breakdown?  Uh, okay...

    15 comments · 91 views
  • 2w, 1d
    New Story Rough Is Done

    Ah, that 'Just finished a story' afterglow.  There's nothing quite like it.

    So I've finished my story about Big Mac being a boxer, and boy did it go off in a direction I didn't anticipate at the beginning.  I'm pretty pleased with it, though.  I had a good time writing it.  For the next few days, I'll probably be doing some editing, but does anyone want to pre-read it?  I'm always interested in hearing opinions on how a story is coming together.

    Now if I could just get the art settled.  WHY IS IT SO DAMN HARD TO GET ARTISTS TO RESPOND?!  I've never understood this about artists.  I tried for several years to get comic books together, and I'd meet with these artist who were totally on board.  Then they'd suddenly disappear. Six months later I get an email apologizing and telling me that they'd still like to work on the thing if it's still available.  Then they disappear again.  It's so frustrating. I'm trying to give them money to do the thing they like to do! Why is this such a complicated arrangement?

    Sigh.  Well, I'm going to contact another artist tomorrow, probably.

    0 comments · 42 views
  • 2w, 4d
    Sisyphus Triumphs (Kinda long and self indulgent)

    So a little over two years ago, I was in the full-on throes of brony madness.  My wife and I watched the show constantly, and I could never get enough pony.  The characters ran through my mind all the time, and I needed something to do with them.  It was in this time that I had this strong mental image of the girls on a door, sliding down a snowy mountain, and then looking disgruntled as they stood on it while traveling down a river.

    This was how A Door Jam was born, though I didn't use any of the scenes I'd originally thought of.  The 'door down the mountain' thing did end up as a chapter of Cheerilee's Thousand, though.

    I'd never written anything really, but I loved these characters, and I wanted more.  The idea of them with this door for some reason just kept coming back to me.  So I spent a quite a few hours writing it up, and you know what?  By the end, I was really liking it.  I was proud of my little story, and even more proud when I uploaded it here and it made quite a little splash for someone that no one had ever heard of.  

    Obviously, I was a savant, and the masses needed more.  A Door Jam was EQD bound.

    But a funny thing happened on the way to the community hub.  My story got rejected.  It was a really interesting wake up call to get that response saying, "Uh, nice little story, but you could learn a lot about story-telling, not to mention grammar."  I mean, they didn't say it like that, but that was the thrust of it.

    One strike for me, and I'm afraid I'll have to admit that I was pissed off.  I mean, just look at the response my story had received!  It was great.  Nuts to those guys!  I'd spiff up my story and resubmit.  No way were they going to defeat me!  It became my number one goal to have that story on EQD.

    Strike two, and I started sweating.  Maybe I wasn't quite the savant I thought I was.  Plus, I'd released Out of Fashion to almost no response.  Yikes.  So I really started boning up at that point.  I started reading grammar textbooks and asking for help.  I backburnered A Door Jam so that I could work on my skills.

    Fast forward about a year, and I'd had something like three stories on EQD.  I was really getting this writing thing, and I thought it might be about time to accomplish my number one goal.  I went back to the drawing board and completely re-wrote A Door Jam, taking it from six thousand words to ten thousand, adding description, eliminating telling, revamping dialogue.  It got a massive tune-up, and I loved the hell out of it.

    And no third strike!  It wasn't accepted, but it was sent back without a strike with a note to fix five things and it would be ship-shape.  I was over the moon!  I corrected those errors and resubmitted.

    Third strike.  The reviewer basically hated the story and pointed out several errors no one else had caught.  Now my story was done and I'd never achieve my number one goal.

    I was super mad.  I can't even express how angry I was about this.  I was pissed off at that review, but I was even more angry at myself.  I'd wasted two strikes when I was very inexperienced, and I hadn't caught these typos before I'd sent it back for the all-important third chance.  I'd failed, and I had a large portion of that to deal with.  Not all of it.  I still feel like I was screwed somewhat in that exchange, but there's no denying that it was my job to make sure the story was square before I sent it in, and I didn't do that.

    So I swallowed it, vowing to use that angry and sadness as a tool for motivation and learning.  It was still a pretty good story, even if EQD didn't accept it, and I'd learned a lot writing it.  I closed the book on it and wrote about Trixie and Discord.

    Then, one fine day, everything changed.

    EQD decided to get rid of the strikes.  Stories could be resubmitted until they passes, and all permanently rejected stories were given new life.  I could still achieve my dream, and I got back to work.

    Strike four.

    This was actually a good thing.  I got a response back full of "Hey, here are a bunch of typos, oh,  and you might want to think about these particular problems.  They are systemic in your writing."  This was great for me.  I got to view the story in a whole new light, and thus, all of my stories.  This is why I like working with a multitude of different editors.  I learn a little something new from each one.  This time, it was about my overuse of participle phrases and my tendency to shift needlessly into multiple character perspectives to the detriment of the story.  

    So I got to work again, and that's what I've been doing for the past few weeks.  Going over A Door Jam over and over and over.

    I sent it back in yesterday.  Today, it was accepted.

    I can't properly express how delighted I am.  I mean, you can probably see by the length of this post what it means to me, but I thought I'd never have a chance at getting my story up there, and somehow it happened, and it happened because I worked incredibly hard at it.  I happened because I had a lot of help from a lot of really great people, and if you are reading this, chances are you were part of that learning process in some way.  I've had a tremendous amount of support from all of you, and I'd like to personally thank everything who has taken the time to help me learn or to give me feedback.  It's the most valuable thing we have on this site.

    EQD is not the place it once was.  My stories there rarely get thousands of views the way they once did.  A Door Jam probably won't really benefit all that much from being there.  But, to me, it means the world.  It means that I fought and fought and fought, and at the end, I actually won.  At the end of the day, the boulder reached the top of the mountain, and I can finally rest if I so choose.

    I'm not sure where this leaves me as an author here.  I have no plans for quitting, but I don't really have that many goals left.  I've always been a goal-oriented person, and it's hard for me to just write for the joy of it.  I really do like it, but I'm generally doing it because I want to achieve something.  Maybe it's time to really re-evaluate that stance and learn to just create for the fun of creation.  Is that a new goal?  Probably.

    28 comments · 138 views
  • ...

When Pinkie Pie ignores Zecora's warnings about the proper preparation of chuckleberries, she ends up locked in a battle with Sugarcube Corner's kitchen.  Not just IN the kitchen.  WITH the kitchen.  Only Pinkie could be in a situation this ridiculous.

First Published
26th Nov 2012
Last Modified
26th Nov 2012
#1 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

Pinkie Pie would be easy.

#2 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1689774  Well, she is a "party pony" after all.  You know how they are...:pinkiegasp:

#3 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·
#4 · 99w, 2d ago · 4 · ·

>>1689865  :pinkiesmile:  

This is your singing telegram

Please notice that I'm drunk

You're invited to the bedroom

Because you're such a hunk!  :pinkiehappy:

#5 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·
#6 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

Double space your paragraphs please, if it's not too much to ask. Helps for easier reading and it's proper formatting.

#7 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1689940  Well, it's no big deal to me, but I don't have any books with double spaced paragraphs.  However, if anyone else reading this would prefer it, just let me know and I'll go in there and do it.  I'm good with it whichever way people would like to read it.

#8 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·


Proper formatting is either indenting or double-spaced paragraphs, just so you know. He's right, books aren't double spaced, but they're indented, like this story.

#9 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

Awesome story! You got Pinkie perfectly. Amazing job, yet again.

#10 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1690004  Hi, Bookplayer!  I'm glad you like it.  Thanks for your opinions early on.  :pinkiehappy:

#11 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

That was.... different. I enjoyed it though, great job!

#12 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1690072  Thank you very much!  My goal was to make it as much like an old Donald Duck cartoon as possible.  I wanted to make Pinkie the butt of the joke, rather than the initiator of the joke for once.

#13 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·


Yeah, but books are awfully confusing to read. You have to keep your focus, following the lines and if you miss one, you'll be thrown off track and won't know what is going on.

Furthermore, the only reason books aren't doubled spaced is because they have a limited amount of space. On the internet, you have an unlimited amount of space to write. It is fairly standard to use double spacing on writing sites, it just makes for easier reading.

#14 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

Love it!!! :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiegasp: :pinkiehappy: :heart: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiegasp: :pinkiecrazy:

I can easily imagine this as an actual episode :twilightsmile:

Good job :raritywink:

#15 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

Welcome, welcome, welcome

Kitchen of Mrs. Cake

Welcome, welcome, welcome

In you I wish to bake

Welcome, welcome, welcome

In you I made a pie

Welcome, welcome, welcome

It turned out bad and I just don't whyyyyy!

#16 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

Hilarious!! :pinkiehappy:

#17 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

Now,you see...this is the sort of story that should be getting attention!

#18 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

Couldn't they just use Spike's firebreath to cook the pie?

#19 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·
#20 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1690273  Aw, thanks!  My stories being something like what you would see from the actual producers is my main goal and great praise!  It's nice to hear that you liked it!  :twilightsmile:

#21 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·


You gotta shaaaaare (some questionable pie)!

You gotta caaaaaaare (about some questionable pie)!

#22 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1690581  I'm glad you liked it!  It's always a little bit nerve-wracking to write this stuff and wonder if other people are going to think it's funny.  :yay:

#23 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1690620   Wow, thanks!  I put a lot of work into it, so I'm glad people are liking it!

#24 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1690696  Spike's breath is good for charring, but pies need to be cooked slowly.  Unless Spike wanted to be patient and blow a really soft flame evenly around the pie for about an hour, it would probably be a mess.  Not like it wasn't already a mess, but...:twilightblush:

And yes, I know he's cooked with it before in the show.  Sometimes you just have to pick your reality.  Either that, or go insane that Twilight never uses her magic when they need it.

#25 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·


Nice, cover of the Welcome to Ponyville song!

#26 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·


Oh hell, that's nothing. I used to communicate in Zecorans once.

Gimme a sec - I'll show you something really check your mail.

#27 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

This is unquestionably one of the best fics i've read in ages. This was absolutely spot on in every respect. From pinkie fighting the pie to twilight getting mixed up it felt just perfect.

#29 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1691230  Thank you so much for your time and appreciation!  I work hard on these things, so it's really rewarding when people enjoy them!  I've submitted A Door Jam to EQD, so once I find out if that makes it, I'm going to submit this one.  Hopefully I've weeded out the grammar errors  :twilightoops:

#30 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·
#31 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1691278  Meat Puppets?!  We might have to go on a picnic together or something!  That's some good taste right there.

#32 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1691313 Meat Puppets are best food based band.

#33 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

Excellently written. Thumbs up and a favorite for you.

You write for Pinkie very well. :twilightsmile:

#34 · 99w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1691422  Thanks so much!  Staying true to characters is one of my main focuses.  They are so well written on the show that it makes it fun to write in their voices.  :pinkiehappy:

#35 · 99w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

I absolutely love one shots like these. If hasbro studios did shorts, i could easily see this being something they would make. :twilightsmile:

#36 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1692250  Man, that would be so awesome!  :rainbowkiss:   Like those shorts on the dvds of the Pixar films!  I would love that!

Thanks for reading this!

#37 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

I am only a quarter of the way through this story and I am already loving this!

Unfortunatly the fact that I should be sleeping as my brain is apperantly deprived the side story my head cooked up is a little... odd, well its always odd but more so then usual.

Brain spin off theater presents! .... heck if I know what to call this,

  Pinkie couldn't wait for Twilight to come around to take a look at the possessed furniture so she put it in a burlap bag and dragged it with her to the library only stopping a moment to hold her tummy as it gurgled having been made anxious to finish and savor the pie she was trying to make.

  Finely having found Twilight in the "tree-brary's" kitchen she spoke up.

  "Hey Twilight! I was trying this new recipie this morning when something odd happened.", She said.

"Every thing was going find until I had this odd stool," briefly holding her belly, "I was going just take a sample but I didn't want to break it so I brought the whole thing over in a baggie, can you take a look at if for me?"

With this the pink mare plopped the bag she was carrying onto Twilight's kitchen table....

EDIT: Oh I know what to call it now, how about, "lost in translation"?

EDITx2:  :yay: That was a terrific story!  Though I still wonder how it tasted, also wonder if the berries could be used to make helpful furniture? Will Pinkie wash her apron or simply train it?

Just don't toss the left over berries down the food disposal whatever you do....

#38 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

Oh jeez that was amazing. You write Pinkie better than anyone else I've read. At least, in a long time. This was spectacular and entertaining through and through.

#39 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

Oh, that PInkie Pie! Such a riot. Perhaps friends make haunted kitchens more funny, but she makes any darn thing she's remotely involved in funnier. Slapstick cartoon physics abound, and even some of her subtle wordplay was amusing.

#40 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

I will never look at pie the same way ever again :raritycry:

#41 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1691018 Well, apparently other people do—it's in the featured box. :rainbowkiss: Congrats!

#42 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

The concept and synopsis alone deserves a like. Will be reading this later. Good day.:pinkiecrazy:


I wish there was an option to Like comments here.

#43 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1692416  Well, the chuckleberry effect is to make things humorously annoying, but perhaps Zecora or Twilight could figure out a way to make them helpful instead, but then again, where is the humor in that?

I'm glad you liked it!

#44 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1692605  Thank you so much for the awesome compliments!  I try and really get into the character's heads while I'm writing, so it's cool that other people feel they are true to the show.

#45 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1693264  I'm glad that someone liked the word play.  My favorite line from this is where Pinkie says "You'd think that she thinks that I think food just appears."  For some reason I just love that.

#46 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1693457  Just don't use any strange, magical berries and you should be okay.  When a rhyming zebra warns you, listen.

#47 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1693625  I was shocked to see it up there!  A pleasant surprise.

#48 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1694050  Well, hopefully you'll enjoy the story, but I did want that synopsis to just outline the ridiculousness of the story.  That's really all you need to know.  I was thinking of just putting "This is the story where Pinkie fights a kitchen" and leaving it at that.  :rainbowlaugh:

#49 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·


Hah! That would leave A LOT to the imagination, considering that it's Pinkie. I'm writing a fic myself (SPONSOR**:pinkiecrazy:) where I had a really hard time getting Miss Pie portrayed correctly. I know it's no easy task. But looking at the attention this story is getting, I'm thinking you did it pretty well :pinkiehappy: too bad I got exams and a fic to write myself, so I have to try and keep myself from reading non-study material. :pinkiesad2:

#50 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

"over" for "oven" snuck through a couple times.  Other than that, very good!

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