61w, 2dPonies in the Real World
Just after stepping out of the front door, I realized that the two people I had following me weren't actually people, and were cartoon ponies just waiting for dissection at the sight of the next human being. "WAIT A SECOND," I called out, "Don't move a muscle anypony! We don't know if there's anyone else out here. Twilight, can you cast a cloaking spell or something like that?"
There was no reply. I turned around to find Pinkie Pie and Twilight staring sheepishly at the ground. "Yeah... about that Alex..." Twilight finally replied, "There won't be any other people here to find us..."
I looked at them, trying to decipher what Twi had said. I hadn't been expecting that sort of answer. "What do you mean, 'no other people'? What have you done?" I asked inquisitively, curious as to what the unicorn had done.
"Well, you know how we got into your house by unlocking the door and tracking Dash's feather using a tracking spell?"
"Well, I knew the part about the unlocking. Why, what's the tracking spell done?" I replied.
"I may have used a spell to mask other things that could off-put the tracking spell... and accidentally wipe out any sentient being that hadn't come into pony contact in the process..."
My logic hit a brick-wall right there, and went straight through it. Twilight Sparkle had eradicated the entire human race, but me. I'd say my following freak-out was acceptable at the time.
"You mean... Did I hear that right? The. Entire. Human. Race. Gone... WHO THE HELL DO I HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH NOW? I'M THE LAST HUMAN ON THE PLANET! I CAN'T MAKE BABIES BY MY SELF! THAT'S A WHOLE PLANET I'D HAVE TO REPOPULATE! Oh... this is bad... very bad... very very bad." I may have gone into shock, as the next thing I did was burst out laughing.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA... I'm the last human on the planet! I can do what I like with no-one to stop me!"
"ALEX! SNAP OUT OF IT!" Pinkie called out, before slapping me in the face with her hoof - which I can definitely say hurts more than a hand.
"Ow, that hurt! Thanks anyway..." I replied, "but you've still wiped out my race..." I suppose me nearly losing my mind wasn't on the agenda for today. "I suppose we should get to finding Dash then?"
"It would certainly be more productive than just standing here and listening to you go crazy." Twilight retorted. She was right; we did need to get going.
"Well then, let's go," I replied. I started making my way off to the park, along with two ponies eager to meet up with their misplaced friend.
After making our way through the entrance of the park, I looked up. Rainbow Dash was no-where to be seen, so I tried calling out for her. "YO RAINBOW DASH! YOU HERE? I'VE GOT A COUPLE OF PONIES WHO WANT TO SEE YOU". No reply. I turned to the two ponies behind me, and looked at them with a shrug. They just stood there wondering where their friend could have gotten too. "Well then...You two have any idea where she could have went?"
They both continued to look around the place, ignoring what I just said. "Hey Twilight, this place look familiar to you?" Pinkie asked her friend aloud, continuing to ignore me.
"It does Pinkie. Why does it seem so familiar..." Twilight replied, before I snapped them out of it.
"EARTH TO PONIES. RAINBOW DASH ISN'T HERE." For just a few seconds more the two mares kept on looking around, until what I just said had sunk in. People think I'm slow to understand things...
"Wait, what? Dash isn't here? You said she would be here!" Twilight was starting to get frustrated again - Something I didn't want to happen.
"Well it's not like I told her to stay here. She was feeling bad about herself so I gave her some space, I only told her if she needed a place to stay for the night then she was always welcome at my place. Can't shoot the messenger." I hoped my carefully worded reply was enough not to get bounded by another spell.
"Yeah, I suppose you're right. It's not unlike Dash to do this sort of thing when she's upset." Thank Luna that I wasn't already paralysed by a spell by now.
I recalled past events of the day and came to a basic conclusion. "She should know her way around town after the last time she was here, so she shouldn't of gotten lost. That means she's either hiding or wondered off somewhere. You two have any ideas?"
I nearly squee'd at Pinkie's concentration face, the way she scrunched it up was so adorable. Twilight on the other hand (or hoof), just stood there with a serious look of contemplation on her face. It was going from one end of the spectrum to another. Eventually the party pony spoke up.
"Nope. Not a clue."
Twilight was the next to speak. "Is there anywhere Rainbow wanted to go when you made your way up here with her earlier? She may have tried finding her way back to whatever caught her eye."
I churned this information for a few seconds until an idea formed. "Well, she did want to see where I bought the energy drinks from... We could try the shop in the high-street?"
"Sounds like a plan" Twilight replied.
"Let's go!" Pinkie declared.
A quick walk to the shops later, we found ourselves at the door to my local energy-drink supply. The automatic doors opened up as we stepped nearer, revealing that the cashiers had vanished. Some rustling was heard from behind the shelves as the doors opened up, but soon ceased as we stepped inside.
"Shh... I think she knows were here..." I whispered to the two mares standing behind me. I tentatively made my way around to the back to find a horrific sight.
"NOOOOOO! DEAR CELESTIA WHY?"
Twilight and Pinkie quickly rushed to my side to see what I was screaming about, quick to find out what was wrong.
"THE HORROR! THE HORROR!" I shouted aloud as I fell to my knees. It was all too much for me. The sheer sight was intense. The unicorn and earth pony just stared at me in bewilderment.
"Alex, what's wrong? It's just a pile of empty bottles." Twilight asked.
"She's drank all the energy-drinks! She didn't even leave a single bottle! What am I going to do now? I just hope she hasn't found the storage room yet..."
Pinkie Pie must of took pity on me, as the next thing I knew I was being crushed to death in one of her hugs. "Don't worry Alex! Pinkie Pie will turn that sad frown upside-down!"
"Can't... breath... let me... go..." I struggled to get the words out, as Pinkie's hug was nearly crushing my ribcage. I felt myself drop to floor as her vice-like grip was loosened. I inhaled deeply, inflating my lungs before speaking up. "Right, so we know Dash has been here, she might actually still be hiding here. I suggest we split up and search for clues." Damn right I just referenced Scooby-Doo. Deal with it.
Twilight had already come up with a plan. "I'll go with Pinkie Pie. Alex, take the left hand side of the shop, Pinkie and I will cover the right and we'll meet back up here." The two ponies trotted off down the aisle, leaving me standing there by myself.
I walked off past the shelves and picked up a foam bat from the toy section in-case Dash got nasty. I gave the pseudo-weapon a check-over to make sure that it wasn't capable of damaging anybody. Good thing I can't hurt her with it. I'd never forgive myself. After confirming my new toy was safe for batting away at rouge pegasi, I started walking back down to the end of the aisle.
I called out for the missing pony. "Hey Dashie... Come out, come out where ever-you-are..." As soon as I finished my sentence, I heard a quiet rustling from behind the shelf on my right. I removed a few items of food carefully enough as to not make a sound and created a small gap for me to see through. I peered through and watched the chromatic pony shake furiously. Her eyes were blood-shot, her mane was frazzled and her teeth were chattering. She looked like she hadn't slept in days. Taking pity on the pony, I started to talk to my self again, "Oh, this is not good... I told her that drinking too much would be bad..." In an attempt to try and calm the mare down I called out to her, "Hey Dash, Twi and Pinkie are..."
She darted off, startled by my presence. At least I tried. Back to searching. I walked further down the aisle, eventually coming to my first corner. I looked around the edge and could see Twilight and Pinkie Pie starting their way down the next alley way of shelves. I just hope that Dash looks slightly more sane when they first see her... This kept on happening for a while, getting to end of the shop and go back up to the other, so I'm not going to go into much detail on it.
"I wonder if Alex has seen her yet."
"I don't know Pinkie, from the sounds of how Alex reacted to the pile of bottles on the floor, it sounds like she's done something bad. I just hope she's alright" Twilight replied, still thinking about the human's over-reaction.
"Me too..." The part pony responded quietly, worried about her friend.
After a while, I met up with Twi and Pinkie back at the entrance of the shop. They told me that they had seen Rainbow Dash on a number of occasions, only to have her run or fly off whenever they made an attempt to get near her.
"We did try to talk with her, but she just up'd and ran off every time. How long is she going to be like this?" Twilight asked, concerned for her friend.
"I'm not so sure", I replied, "I've never seen anyone drink that much before. It might be a few hours to a couple of days; it depends on how fast she burns off the energy."
Just then, the three of us heard a buzzing sound, almost like that of a humming bird's wings, coming straight for us. We turned around to see a blur of blue speed past us and collide head-first into the automatic door before it could open with a sickening CRACK. I would say the last time I took a hit that hard involved a car with a modified sleigh/skateboard combo attached to the back. I get up to some pretty stupid shit with my brothers. Anyway, back to the story.
Dash slumped into a pile at the base of the door with a groan escaping from her mouth. Needles to say that the two conscious ponies and I rushed over to her side. As if to add insult to injury, the door opened up with a 'beep' only a second after the azure pegasus passed out.
Twilight held Rainbow up by the head and shook her in an attempt to wake her up. "Dash? Are you okay? WAKE UP!" Sighing at her failed attempt to wake up the pegasus, Twilight turned to me and shrugged (I still don't know how they do it without lifting their legs. Damn pony anatomy.) "You have any ideas?"
Pinkie blurted in before I could get out a word. "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
I turned to the pink pony. "Go ahead; I don't have any idea..."
Interrupting me by running off before I could finish, Pinkie ran around the corner before working her fourth wall breaking antics and returned with a one-man band marching kit. I covered my ears in anticipation, expecting an incredibly loud blare from all of her instruments, and was not disappointed. That pony can be loud! I'm not kidding! I'm surprised my eardrums worked after that. Twilight already knew what was coming and had covered her ears with her hooves, but from the look on her face she I could tell she wasn't expecting that from Pinkie either.
Sadly, the attack on my eardrums wasn't enough to wake the unconscious pegasus and only provoked a small moan from her. Pinkie was about to try it again before I stepped in. "Whoa! Wait right there Pinkie! I think she would like to be able to hear after this! I suggest we get her to my house before we try anything again, at least that way when she wakes up she'll know where she is."
Twilight spoke up before Pinkie could protest, "I'm going to go with Alex on this one Pinkie. Getting her to a safe place seems like a good idea, plus I'd like to be able to hear after this trip too."
The way Pinkie pouted afterwards was just adorable. I don't think I've ever seen eyes get as large as hers were. I had to resist the urge to give in to another audible assault and picked up Rainbow Dash to carry her on my shoulders. Those ponies were heavier than they looked, as I struggled to lift her up. I turned to the other mares and asked, "Right, now I've got the pony, should we get going?"
The two ponies nodded and we made our way through the now-open doors. I was glad that we had found Dash, but every moment was just another step closer to her leaving. As much as I cared for her, I didn't want her to go home.